100 lb. Club - I do not like shopping and that hasn't changed!




Eliana
03-13-2010, 12:59 PM
I really detest shopping. I was hoping it was because of my size and that I would somehow magically come out of my shell.

I went to the mall yesterday. I haven't been to the mall in YEARS...like a decade. I shop at the thrift store and my friends and mother's closets. :^: Shopping is not fun, something I'm sure many of you can relate to.

Right now, I need new tops for Spring. So I struck out to the mall with my new size 16 self. I was thrilled that I would be able to shop in normal stores.

First up: Saks Fifth Ave (off Saks). Holy smokes, nothing under $150 and nothing over a size 8!! I felt so out of place! I felt like I was encroaching on space that wasn't meant to have me in it. And even if I had $150 to blow on a shirt, I wouldn't spend it on material like that! $150 freaking dollars for a THIN, ugly t-shirt? Really?

Anyway...on to the next two stores, neither of which had anything larger than a size 10. I tried Calvin Klein which had tops that actually fit me, but once again, the pants didn't go above a 10.

So I felt fat, fat, fat, fat, fat.

Yet another store I walked into was all clothes for women over 80...and I liked it!! LOL!! But I made myself leave. I am too young to dress like that. (35)

I do not know how to dress myself. I am 35 years old and I feel like I missed out on the shopping formative years...you know, the years when you first start shopping without your mother or gaggle of friends to show you what to wear. I stopped shopping at about that time so I'm totally clueless! I can't shop with my friends because they're still shopping at Lane Bryant. we're in different places.

I did find some nice things at Van Heusen. I think I like that store. I asked the cashier to please pick out a necklace for me that would go with most of the tops. LOL! I don't know how to do it?

Is anyone else out there like me? I want to be put together, I watch "What Not to Wear", but I find shopping overwhelming. Everything seems geared to teens or the elderly.


H8cake
03-13-2010, 01:16 PM
Yikes, I probably can't help you here. I absolutely love shopping! I am addicted to clearance racks, though. Penney's has had some awesome clearance sales this last year. Macy's too. My closet is bursting. It will probably just take you a little time to adjust. When I was first able to fit into regular sizes I felt very awkward shopping in that section. I was afraid someone would send me back to the womens section. It didn't take long though, and I was feeling fine in the smaller sizes. Just keep trying, you'll figure it out. Maybe head to the stores with more reasonable prices though. I couldn't bring myself to pay that much for clothing either.

Shmead
03-13-2010, 01:25 PM
I think (I've been told) that a lot of the high end stores DO have the larger sizes (12-14), they just keep them in the back, so you have to ask. If that's the case, it seems needlessly humiliating to me, but apparently that's the standard.


CLCSC145
03-13-2010, 01:28 PM
I find it completely overwhelming! In fact, I can't remember the last time I walked into a clothing store - at least 10 years. I've become quite adept at online shopping, but I don't branch out from what I know will look okay because I don't want to have to return stuff.

The idea of walking into a store makes my heart pound with anxiety. I fear what you encountered or, worse, a sales clerk telling me I don't belong there. I've got the added pressure of being too tall for many regular clothing stores.

So I have no advice - you're ahead of me by venturing out there! I just wanted you to know I understand how you're feeling.

Oh, and I'm 38 and don't really know how to dress myself or shop either.

Michelle98272
03-13-2010, 01:30 PM
Is anyone else out there like me? I want to be put together, I watch "What Not to Wear", but I find shopping overwhelming. Everything seems geared to teens or the elderly.

Hi Eliana~

I didn't check where you live so I'm just throwing this out there...Check your local major department store for a helpful sales person. Here in Seattle, we have Macy's and Nordstrom. Most of them offer personal shopping in the ladies Dept. for free plus free tailoring if you buy your stuff there.

A while back there was an article in the Seattle Sunday paper about a lady who lost a ton of weight that went to Nordstrom to purchase her new wardrobe. She gave the personal shopper her budget and sizes. The personal shopper did the rest. She built a wardrobe on classic pieces (Much like what Stacy and Clinton do). She pulled a lot of the items from the sales racks to save the gal $$. Sales people at major stores make commission plus an hourly rate so there is no charge for this services. They make the extra $ from the commission.

My plan once I get to goal is to make an appointment at Nordstrom and get a nice new wardrobe.

Just so you know, I don't have a ton of money, I work in Social Services so we make peanuts!! Right now I shop at WalMart because they have 3X and they are cheap. I also buy my jeans and work clothes (business casual) at a local thrift store because I'm not spending a ton of money on clothes I won't be in long term.

I do know that you can find classic good pieces that will work in your wardrobe for a long time at a store like Macy's, Nordstrom, etc. From what I remember the lady got a nice new wardrobe for around $600. She was also encouraged to maintain that relationship with the shopper as the service notified customers of sales. You could also ask the shopper to look for the "perfect pair of dark denims for work" and she'd call when she found the pair at the price you like.

I'm 42, so just a little older than you. I identify with a lot of what you said, especially about not wanting to dress older. I feel like I dress like a 60 year old matron right now with tops that come down to cover my belly and a**. I don't want to dress like my 19 year old daughter but sure as heck would like to dress much more age appropriate for a lady in her 40's.

BeachBreeze2010
03-13-2010, 01:36 PM
I have EXACTLY the same problem!! I went to the mall last weekend and felt like I had emerged from a time capsule. The trendy stores carried childrens' sizes (literally my very normal sized 9 year-old could fit into thier jeans except for the length) and had clothes that were ripped, torn and see-through. The stores that I remembered shopping in before had frumpy clothes. I am almost 31 and consider myself still young, but I have NO IDEA where to shop??

I like Ann Taylor LOFT and some things at Macy's - but that's expensive. Kohl's isn't bad for a cheaper store. I used to like New York & Co. a lot, but this year's styles aren't me. We have a non-mall store here called Cato that I like. It can get frumpy sometimes, but I find cute things in there, too. Also, Maurice's has some fun casual things. I also find things at TJ Maxx and Marshalls. Mostly, though I hve pretty basic looking clothes and wear accessories. I am searching too to find clothes I like. A lot of it is probably my age, but being short and overweight makes it worse.

emilydreaming
03-13-2010, 02:11 PM
I think a lot of it is about finding stores that fit your style. I would echo that a department store like Macy's is a good place to start - they have a ton of styles and usually run decent sales, so you can try on a bunch and find out what you like.

Also, don't be scared of places like the Gap or Banana Republic. They have great basics and will consistently have sizes through 14 (Gap through 16). Banana Republic's clearance section is my favorite place to find nicer tops.

I hope you find your stride with it - I think you will!

PeanutsMom704
03-13-2010, 02:18 PM
well, based on my other thread about having tons of my own old clothing just waiting for me in XLs and size 16, and now reading this, I'm really glad I have clothes that I like in a smaller size!

I don't mind shopping, although I go mostly to places like Marshall and Ross and try to get good bargains. Once I get to the point where I feel like I'm at a stable size, I will probably try to start collecting more classic pieces that I would plan to wear for a long time. Even when I wasn't actively losing weight, I never really PLANNED to stay big, you know? So I never wanted to buy really nice clothing unless I got a crazy good deal on it.

MomtoThree
03-13-2010, 04:22 PM
I hate shopping but went last night with DH to Ross to pick out some new dresses since mine are to big. Well, let me say I found out my husband has better taste than I do. He acutally picked things with color. I always stick with darker colors. You know the dresses he picked out really look nice and I feel younger not wearing "old lady" dresses anymore. Like you I still consider my self young at 35.

I have a long way to go to goal but it was nice to walk out with 2 size 20W that fit but I will not wear of long. I also came home with 2 18W that I thought I would have to wait till next month to wear but they fit now. Yeah, I have not seen an 18W since 2007.

Arctic Mama
03-13-2010, 06:38 PM
JC Penney's is always my default for value and style - they have lots of plus
stuff that is fairly inexpensive and good for the 20-35 crowd. Their website is also loaded with stuff.

rockinrobin
03-13-2010, 08:38 PM
I really detest shopping. I was hoping it was because of my size and that I would somehow magically come out of my shell.


Give it time. Give it time. It sounds like your still on the cusp of that still barely in plus sized clothing - not quite regular sized clothing. That will change. And then so will your shopping experience! For now, you really don't want to buy all that much as you probably won't be where you are for all that long. I know you're probably busting to do some shopping, but hang tight. I too would stick to strictly the sale racks. I'd even go to a TArget or similar store for now. But hang on - there really IS so much fun to be had shopping when you can do so wear whatever you want in every single little store. You will develop your own sense of style. It's great to pick out clothing based on what you really like, as opposed to just whatever covers you (like I did for yearrrrssss.)

So yes, I used to DETEST clothes shopping.

Now, it is one of the best-est things in the world!!!!!

time2lose
03-13-2010, 09:03 PM
I am another one who feels lost in the clothing stores now. When DD visits in July we are going to go shopping. She thinks that she can help me find clothes and I hope that she is right! :)

Mikayla
03-13-2010, 09:57 PM
I would try TJ Maxx or Marshalls if you have one near you, they have a wide array of styles and sizes.

For the record I LOVE shopping. I even used to enjoy going to Lane Bryant. To me nothing is more fun than buying, then wearing a new outfit!

Summerblue
03-13-2010, 09:59 PM
I shop a lot at Avenue......they have your sizes, but then thing I like is that the clothes are more TRUER sizes, a size 14 at Calvin Klein is probably really a size 12.

I use a lot of necklaces/jewelry - my clothes are pretty simple, but I add the jewels and it can really a difference. I guess my look is more 'classic'

I shop at Nordstrom too - SALES only. It's also a good place if you need something special.

Penney's also have some good sales, I mean I have found skirts for $5.

ubergirl
03-13-2010, 10:03 PM
I was having the same thought today, leafing through a catalog that only carries normal sizes... but they go up to 18. It was the weirdest thought knowing that pretty much everything in the catalog would fit me-- but I had NO CLUE what would look good.

I'm 48 and I've been in plus sizes since age 30. YIKES!

slimsilhouette2b
03-13-2010, 11:23 PM
My favorite shopping stores and I LOOOOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE to shop!!!!!! :)

Gap, American Eagle, Coldwater Creek, Old Navy, JC Penny, Ross's, Target... LOL See what I mean!!

I'm just now fitting into AE shirts so I imagine you'd fit just fine in there. I'm 33 and find some of their stuff to be a tad young but not all of it. Gap has some really good seperates, Old Navy does too if you know what you are looking for. :)

I love to shop and I do mean shop-o-holic LOVE to shop it's a sickness really. LOL. I wish I were close I'd be your personal shopper!

Shmead
03-14-2010, 10:25 AM
I really do think we need some sort of nickname for the 16 doldrums. It seems like a LOT of people get discouraged when they hit size 16--it's the transition from "fat" to "normal", except suddenly you are the biggest person in the room again, and it's very difficult to find clothes that fit. You feel awkward and out of place in the misses section but can't stand to shop in plus sizes if you don't have to.

I am still very, very happy with my weight loss, but when I was transitioning into a 16, I was very unhappy with what clothes fit and what they looked like, and even now, at a loose 16, I am not particularly happy with clothes. I have high hopes that at 12/14 I'll be more content with my choices.

lovemyboy
03-14-2010, 12:55 PM
I too am lacking the shopping gene. I've never had it at any weight. I loathe it and took to ordering online but if I don't guess correctly on size, shape, or color the returns are a hassle. I usually drag my mother with me for her expertise but I absolutely have a three store limit before I call it quits. My tolerance us low. I have a bit left in my closet to size down to but not enough. I think I'm going to start by focusing on accessories that I can use at any size and try and get through with maybe one or two mom-approved outfits per size as that is about all the shopping I can take. Maybe my shopping aversion will lift with the more pounds I lose. I saw my mother yesterday and she hadn't seen me in two months. She said I looked "good" and "healthy" but wondered aloud how long I'd had the shirt I was wearing. (I bought it in 1999!!! Shhhh... Don't tell.) I'm thinking that was a subtle hint that I need to go shopping.)

Eliana
03-15-2010, 01:10 PM
it's the transition from "fat" to "normal", except suddenly you are the biggest person in the room again, and it's very difficult to find clothes that fit.


That's it exactly!! I went from the smallest size at Lane Bryant to the largest size at other stores...and it appear some stores still think I'm too big to wear clothes. LOL!

It's good to have a reason for it. That makes sense now. I hope shopping becomes more fun as I get smaller. I worry that it's something I'm never going to be good at or enjoy.

Another issue is that we have spent our entire marriage paying down enormous debt! We are now CC free, but I'm afraid I am frugal to the core and I can no longer imagine being any other way. I'll pay good money for quality, but I refuse to pay more than my thrift store's $.60 on a half-off day for flimsy t-shirts.

Eliana
03-15-2010, 01:12 PM
She said I looked "good" and "healthy" but wondered aloud how long I'd had the shirt I was wearing. (I bought it in 1999!!! Shhhh... Don't tell.) I'm thinking that was a subtle hint that I need to go shopping.)

Um...I still PROUDLY wear my college sweatshirts. Worse, they're literally dated!! Wind Ensemble-1994!! :o

SwimGirl
03-15-2010, 01:27 PM
I looooveeee to shop! And I always find a good deal! I am SO confused by the stores you guys are mentioning though :( We have such great stores here in Canada for the "middle ages" ie 30+, and they match everything together for you so you don't have to do it yourself! The best part is that they are not super expensive, so you don't have to blow all your money on one piece...
Wish I could be more help.. but if you are ever in Winnipeg and need some shopping help.. gimme a shout! ;)

-Aimee

kuchick
03-15-2010, 01:42 PM
Went shopping yesterday, tried on bras, gave up and outfitted DH with all new business slacks (he really needed it). It seems that in losing weight, I went straight from Lane Bryant nothing-fits-you-here-because-your-boobs-are-too-flippin'-big (but band size was in store) to Lane Bryant nothing-fits-you-here-because-your-bandsize-is-too-small (but cup size is back down to DDD). I had to order 36 DDD at Lane Bryant because no other store carried DDD, but now I'm almost too small for Lane Bryant. DH was with me and pointed out that according to Lane Bryant's motto "Where real women shop", I'm almost not a "real woman". It seems that at a size 16, I'll be invisible to plus size stores and "normal" size stores. Whee!

Luckily, since I'm a stay-at-home-mom, I can dress in nothing but jeans and stretchy t-shirts and nobody cares. Uninspiring, but doable.

Good luck with shopping in future Eliana. I think everyone here is right; I think 14s and lower are easier to find, and easier to shop for. Congratulations on your weightloss!

HomeHealthRN29
03-15-2010, 02:06 PM
Shopping can be fun....if you know the right places to go. First, stay away from the "teenie bopper stores" (Buckle, Abercrombie, American Eagle, etc.) because their sizes run very small. I like JJill, Chicos, Ann Taylor Loft, Nordstroms, etc. because they have normal sizes and they fit nice. All are kinda pricey but have good sales and coupons. Good luck!

PeanutsMom704
03-15-2010, 02:07 PM
ok. now I'm getting even happier about those boxes of size 16 clothing I have packed away - by the time I get too small to wear them, I should be in a 12 or 14 and escape the whole 16 doldrums mess!

ubergirl
03-15-2010, 02:10 PM
I really do think we need some sort of nickname for the 16 doldrums. It seems like a LOT of people get discouraged when they hit size 16--it's the transition from "fat" to "normal", except suddenly you are the biggest person in the room again, and it's very difficult to find clothes that fit. You feel awkward and out of place in the misses section but can't stand to shop in plus sizes if you don't have to.

I am still very, very happy with my weight loss, but when I was transitioning into a 16, I was very unhappy with what clothes fit and what they looked like, and even now, at a loose 16, I am not particularly happy with clothes. I have high hopes that at 12/14 I'll be more content with my choices.

Man, this is SO TRUE! You go from the pleasure of shrinking out of plus size, to suddenly starting all over worrying that not a single thing will fit.

I think my "true" size right now is a 14W. It looks great on me. But let's face it? Who wants to be a 14W?

JustBeckyV
03-15-2010, 02:29 PM
I love buying new clothes and shopping in the area I haven't been into in years!!! I prefer Kohl's and JcPenney. Not over the top expensive and they have a lot of great deals and a great range of clothing styles to find what you want!!

Smiling_Sara
03-15-2010, 02:57 PM
I enjoy shopping way to much now. Why not try the big stores like JC Penny, Sears, Boston Store? Or maybe even like Old Navy or Maurices? Those two are personal favorites of mine.

Smiling_Sara
03-15-2010, 03:17 PM
I also just wanted to add by saying I'm also currently a size 16, BUT still browse plus size stores as they do carry my size. Aveune and Lane Bryant start at size 14 ( I think ) and Torrid starts at size 12. They are not my first go stores anymore, but I will look in them when I have something in mind I want to get.

Trazey34
03-15-2010, 03:19 PM
I've always loved shopping, yet at the same time detest the wasted time browsing -- that's why i hate thrift stores mostly, ugh the trudging through rack after rack and then the 1 thing in a 4x I'd have to grab LOL no thanks! I agree with "finding the right store" and there's nothing wrong with asking someone whose style you admire, where do you shop??? people would be pretty stoked to be a style icon I think!

and there's always glorious SHOES!!! yayyyy!!!

katkitten
03-15-2010, 03:47 PM
I dont plan on switching to "normal" size stores till I'm a 12/14 or so because Ijust don't want to have to deal with the transition phase

Eliana
03-15-2010, 03:59 PM
I dont plan on switching to "normal" size stores till I'm a 12/14 or so because Ijust don't want to have to deal with the transition phase

I plan to bury my head in the sand as much as possible until I get to those sizes too. LOL! I needed a few shirts to get me by. Most of my shirts were a 2X and were looking awfully sloppy on me since I'm now in a large. The larger sizes were making me look bigger than I am and that was depressing.

The good news is, I have some nice shirts now and I should be good until with shirts. I'll face the Capris problem once the hot weather hits. :p

PeanutsMom704
03-15-2010, 04:06 PM
For me, the big issue is the difference in the way misses and plus sizes are cut. A 16 in a plus size store isn't the same as a 16 in a regular store, and it's not even quite the same as a misses 18 either. Because of having smaller legs and hips but a thick waist, I can't really wear plus sized pants at all - if they fit in the waist, they are way too big everywhere else. Misses clothing is generally cut slightly slimmer (with junior sizing being cut much more narrowly.) Tops are similar - if they are large enough to cover the girls adequately, then they are big and billowy below that, instead of having any sort of more body conscious fit.

I'm looking forward to being completely out of plus sizes as much for getting clothes that aren't cut to be as big and baggy as for the thrill of no longer being "plus sized."

I think some stores (Torrid maybe?) are a kind of hybrid plus/junior size, so they are bigger sizes with a bit more body conscious fit. But the styles I've seen have been a bit too trendy and young for me.

CHUNKEY_MUNKEY
03-15-2010, 09:05 PM
i think torrid has gone to far with the vanity sizing ... i wear a 16 normally ( from GAP OLD NAVY and pretty much most of the places i shop with the exception of juniors sizing i wear a 17 there ) in torrid i was SWIMMING in a size 14. i didnt like that, and when i tried on a size 14 else where that gave me an awful muffin top ..... they gave me a false sense of hope !