My best friend recently lost gallons of weight, and I find myself torn between being incredibly thrilled for her and humiliatingly envious. I need to lose weight, I need to lose weight. It just has never seemed feasible to me. But now as she is shimming herself into these tiny size fourteens from American Eagle (GASP!!) I know that I need to do something myself. I am obese. I've never said that before. But, it's true. Hi, my name is Maggie and I am morbidly obese. I hate that, but I know I got myself here. I put every single french fry into my awaiting mouth and I savored every single droplet of grease.
I sometimes wonder if I have a food addiction. I know it makes me feel better. Sitting alone in my bedroom, stuffing my face with hamburgers, cheese melting between lukewarm beef patties. I can't get enough.
And now my best friend has gone. I am standing alone in the middle of nowhere. There is a crumpled fast-food bag by my feet. Empty food wrappers clenched between my fingers. She has moved on without me, and I don't know what to do. I need your guys help. What do I do now? I can't be fat by myself. I don't want to be fat by myself.
I don't want to be fat anymore.
Please, I don't know what to do...I don't know how to get to the place where I don't look at my reflection in disgust. I don't know how to NOT avoid every mirror that I come across. I don't know how to EAT RIGHT!!!
I refuse to be a lost cause. I refuse to be isolated. But maybe I need your help. Please.
You took the first step and that is acknowledging the issue. Look at in a postive light. Your friend is a pre-made support group who will know just what it's like to go through the struggles of weight loss. And you have found one of the best support groups on the internet!
Welcome, and I know exactly what you're going through! One of my closest friends and I have gone to school together for years, and we've always been on the bigger side. But last summer she started losing a lot of weight, and I couldn't help but feel a little jealous. She always tries to show me up, it's just in her nature, but this is one thing that I kind of want to beat her at. ;P And now that I'm getting there, I feel 100% better. And you will too. May I ask what kind of diets you've tried? If meat and cheese are your guilty pleasures, I'd recommend Atkins. That's what I'm on right now, and it works despite it's bad reputation.
Welcome, Maggie--you've come to the right place! Lean on your friend for support, if she's that kind of friend. You, too, can be shopping at American Eagle in the future.
One thing that really helped me when I first got here was to read the success stories in the Goal section. There are tons of pictures and dozens of posts from people who started out at all stages--some not very heavy, but many were very, very heavy indeed when they started their journey. It's really inspiring but more than that, it gives us the knowledge that yes, weight loss CAN be achieved and it is totally reasonable to think that if they can do it, so can you and I.
Oh, and by the way-- you are an excellent writer. Have you considered starting a blog and documenting your weight-loss journey?
Maggie, I hear you. You feel overwhelmed and alone. Its an awful feeling, but things can change. There are folks here for you. Some who might be in situations similar to yours, some who have succeeded on a weight loss journey, some who are slightly ahead on that road. Some who, (like me) are starting over.
Come to the site and browse a little. There is so much to find here, and you will be welcomed.
BTW. I agree with Windchime...you are an excellent writer.
You have done the hardest bit... facing up to the problem and by doing this you no longer have a problem... you now have issues! You'll be surprised how good you feel when you lose your first pound and then its onwards and upwards mentally as the scales go downwards.
Thank you all so much. I really feel like I may be able to do what I need to do, with the support of so many people. If my first day here is any indicaiton of that the future will bring, I know that I will be able to tackle my chocolate fetish, my obsession with Big Macs, and the desperate need I feel to inject my blood stream with soda. I appreciate you all reaching out to me, and I am greatful to have you all along on this journey with me. Thank you.
P.s. about the great writing skills, I appreicate it! I have always wanted to start a blog but have never felt confident enough to do it. Maybe I will now. You are a great bunch!
I whole-heartedly agree on the awesome writing skills, you totally set the scene for the lone late-night binge I have been all too accustomed to!
I can speak from experience that I was in your boat too, and you CAN beat the binge monster! He is so seductive - he pretends to be your best friend and is so sympathetic when you have a bad day - but he is NOT acting in your best interest! Try to picture him like a Mucinex monster or something and remember that YOU are in control and you don't want to do this anymore
Something that really helps me is trying new foods. You'll start to crave these exciting new tastes instead! I'm on a mango kick right now!
So glad you joined, I bet you can't wait for your ticker! I was so excited the day I got mine that I checked back every hour until I could post it
It's different for everyone, but I found that the first week was killer. But after that, the urge to eat how you normally would is much more easy to deal with. Keep that in mind if this diet is getting you down.
I must say that I agree about the writing skills!! maybe when you feel that big mac urge or chocolate is tapping you on the shoulder, instead of giving in, write about it there are lots of things to do to keep your mind off of food.
Best wishes on your journey!! There is lots and lots of support and encouragement found here. I have never seen a site like this one!! I believe it was a God-send for me.
I agree on the writing skills. I could totally see someone looking desperate and depressed down a long road, with no one there. But this does get easier. If you friend will help you, then ask her for some advice on what she has done to lose the weight. This is a great place to get that extra push that will help you to get to that place where you can stop eating those Big Macs, and put down the IV full of soda. Keep posting and I know you can do this. Good luck.
Oh, Maggie! My heart goes out to you. And now for the solution: the same way you got this way. One french fry, one burger at a tim. Replace that supersize with exercise. If you can, walk around the block each time you want to eat. If you can't walk around the block, walk to the corner. Find yourself a good doctor and get a physical. Discovery Channel on television has a website for weight loss called the national body challenge, and you can register and join for free and it has lots of recipes and meals and menus and will help you until you know what to eat. And I promise I will be here with you, every step of your journey as I take mine. I have a lot of weight to lose also and because I work at home, I don't socialize much, so I sometimes feel isolated.
@Rythm...The first day was absolute horror. My mom brought over cinnamon rolls. The good ones with globs of royal icing dripping over the sides, pools of white sugary goodness glistening in the middle. And, I've decided to be honest about it. I ate it. I smiled and I took a knife and I sliced into one. And I knew that eventually I would have to tell you guys about it because I vowed that if I was going to do this, if I was going to be truthful, it was going to have to be here. Afterward the remorse hit me full on. The only excuse I have is that I was blinded by the tinfoil pan and all I could see is my momentary happiness. It's almost like alcoholism. You promise you are just going to have one bite, thats it. You just want a taste. Next thing you know, you're scraping the bottom of the pan and scooping out the last of the icing. I didn't do that. But I wanted to. And I think thats what scares me the most. I have to control this thing. Everyday is a new day...and I have to make that decision every single day.
@angelskeep...yes we can be diet buddies. Do you know how many times I envision myself slipping into my sweats and lacing up my shoes for a nice long walk? Everyday. I can see myself walking the huge hill by my apartment, taking it like a champ, one foot in front of the other, effortlessly. I get as far as putting on my sweats. Then I chicken out. I fear that someone I know will come driving by in their car and "look" at me, judge me, and laugh. I have to get over it, because lets face it. I get stared at no matter where I go, and I know they are not admiring my brown eyes, or carefully styled hair. I just have to do it. But your suggestion of walking whenever I feel like eating. I love it. Truly. Even if it's just to the corner. Baby steps right.
@ Everyone...you are all so supportive and I could not have asked for a better website with nicer participants. Thank you for all of your suggestions and good thoughts. I appreciate it more than I could ever tell you. I'm ready to do this...
How did this happen?...
