100 lb. Club - Why do I do this to myself? (ramble alert)

03-01-2010, 12:11 PM
I started over on Dec 15 of 2009 after gaining back all the 80 pounds that I lost in 2006 plus some. On Dec 15, I was the highest weight I have ever been at 283. In 12 weeks, I have lost 24 pounds and have lost over 20 inches and I am down one pant size from 24 to 22. I have lost this weight with mainly staying on plan (calorie counting), but still eating out on several occasions and doing WATP 3-4 times a week and going to the gym at least one day a week. So, here is what has happened in the last few days:

Thursday: good during day, and then went out for dinner with friends and a few beers--so not horrible

Friday: good during the day, then Friday night hubby grills pork chops and they are awesome and I nibble on 2 (consuming the majority of those 2) and then we sit down to a late dinner and I eat 2 more. Did not work out.

Saturday: hubby and I go out to lunch at a new mexican restaraunt, which had no good choices. So I made bad choices and consumed 2/3 of my meal. Did not have too much for dinner. Went to the gym, but just kind of messed around in the pool with my friends.

Sunday: kind of grazed all day (not good grazing), then hubby grilled steaks. I told myself for the last 3 days that I could have the steak, but I would only eat less than 1/2 of it. Well, needless to say, I ate the whole thing (it was really good) so that was about 12 ounces of red meat. Did not work out, even though I had plenty of time to do it.

So, why, when I know what I should do, do I continue to make the wrong choices and bad food decisions? Especially after I have success. Maybe I am just so overwhelmed with the thought of the LONG journey I have left. Maybe I am just content to be fat. Even though I know I am not, I am miserable. I know I am inheretently lazy. I hate working out. How do I get over that? I would just rather sit around and surf the net, or watch tv than get up and move. I do okay with doing WATP Monday-Wed, but then as the week goes on, and the more tired I get, the less apt I am to do it. Oh, who am I kidding? I won't work out Thursday and Friday. But, then I will go to the gym on Saturday and do a mediocre workout with hubby, but I am really not into it. And then, I will not work out on Sunday, because that's my day of rest...NOT LIKE THURSDAY AND FRIDAY HAVEN'T BEEN DAYS OF REST TOO.

I am really angry with myself right now. Why can I not get this figured out? It seems to be that grilled food (my hubby is quite the chef on the grill) is a trigger of mine, but I can't just avoid it. We do a lot of camping in the summer and so this is something I have to figure out how to deal with. Any suggestions? I thought that we could just grill the food that we are going to eat that night, but hubby says, then its not worth it to even start the grill. Because he is a charcoal griller, not a gas griller and so I totally see his point on that.

Another thing I do to myself is this. My weigh in day is Thursday. If I have a good weigh in, I tell myself that Thursday can be my free day....but then that stretches into the weekend, and then I think, its ok, you have 4 days to put the hammer down and get the weight off you just put back on. Why, oh why is my method of thinking so screwed up?

If anyone has any insight, that would be great. I am sorry for the rambling, incoherent rambling, I am just really upset with myself right now.:?:

03-01-2010, 12:36 PM
Hey HadEnough,

I have an idea for you... have you ever tried a diet that is low carb? I notice that most the foods you have listed that are "off plan" are meats.

I am currently doing South Beach Diet, which gives me alot of freedom as far as protein. Maybe calorie counting is too restrictive for you. It has definitely helped me to not focus on a "number" but the foods I consume instead. You know what works for you and your body, just a suggestion!

Congrats on your weight loss so far! Good luck!

03-01-2010, 01:20 PM
:drill: Step away from the food! :drill:

OK, now that we have that out of the way... ;) :hug:

Here's what it sounds like to me. You make spur of the moment decisions. Clearly, this is not working for you.

You have to have a plan in advance and then carry the plan out. Some things to think about:

1. No nibbling before dinner. You don't need to taste your hubby's grilled pork chops to know they are going to be good. You don't need to taste them to make him feel like he's doing a good job. Just explain, if he seems disappointed, that you know they're good and you want to wait until dinner.

2. Make some restaurants off limits for the time being. Such as Mexican! Yow! Or consider my favorite strategy, which is to order a la carte at Mexican places. No rice, no beans. Order something like "an" enchilada and "a" taco. That will be plenty, believe me.

3. When you decide you're only going to eat half of a steak, cut the steak in half as soon as it's on your plate and set the other half aside. Best yet, package that half up and put it in the fridge as soon as it's cool. Food is always going to taste good! That cannot be your guideline!

4. Schedule your gym/exercise days and times just like you would a doctor appointment. Don't stare at a blank calendar in the middle of the day wondering whether you feel like exercising. Just do it if it's on the schedule.

5. When you go to the gym, it's not social hour. You're there for a purpose.

6. A good weigh-in does not mean you get to go off plan! Skip the weigh-ins if it's going to make you feel that way! The day after weigh-in should be just like the day before--on plan, on target.

I sure hope you can keep up your efforts and take off some weight. :yes: Remember that "lifestyle change" means that what you do actually has to change! That may sound like I'm being a smarta$$, but it's amazing how often people, including myself, find themselves looking for a way out!


03-01-2010, 01:58 PM
Thanks for the kick in the butt :kickbutt: JayEll. Everything you said, the Good Rational :angel:Cheryl knows, it's this Devil :devil::devil: Cheryl that overrides her. I have to squash the :devil:.

03-01-2010, 03:06 PM
Put some veggies on the grill maybe?

03-01-2010, 03:12 PM
Hey HadEnough:

You sound like every previous dieting attempt I have made. I could have written that post several times in my life. :)

I finally realized that my problem was not knowledge - I knew full well what I was doing while I was doing it. I now know that my problem was in negative thinking and dwelling on it and making excuses for my behavior. I used to say things to myself like "What's wrong with me? I can't do this! I'm SO fat! I think I will be fat forever. I can't control my eating. I just can't get a grip on this."... that kind of thing. Or.. "I have to go off plan, this restaurant doesn't have anything on my plan. I'm stressed and I have to go off plan and eat "X" 'cause it will make me feel better. My DH fixed "X" for dinner, I couldn't not eat it!" All are ridiculous excuses! Choose the restaurant - or look up the menu online and have a plan before even going. Ask for a special order if you can't find anything - most restaurants will do what you ask. If it is emotions, they are not a good excuse for eating off plan. It's a vicious circle. Get out and do something, anything besides eating. You don't have to eat if you don't have anything on plan available somewhere - use it as a practice of self-control and eat when you get home - no one has starved to death from not eating one meal on time. Basically, if there is a better option than what you are currently choosing, then don't be telling yourself you had no choice - that's an excuse.

Thousands of thoughts go through our head every day - we carry on an internal conversation with ourselves all day long! If the majority of those thoughts are negative like the ones above, then our brain just carries out what it thinks it is supposed to. If you want to get a grip on this eating thing, change your thought processes. Every time you think a negative thought or an excuse, replace it with something positive or figure out a different way. Positivity is the key - "I can do this. I will do this. What fabulous foods can I eat on my plan today? It feels fantastic to finally take care of my weight and food issues." And never feel guilty or beat yourself up. The great thing about losing weight is that when we wake up in the morning the past is the past and we have a brand new 24 hours to try again. You cannot fail if you don't quit! Change your mental relationship with food.

Good luck to you! :hug:

03-01-2010, 04:46 PM
Been there too....If you REALLY want it, you must then be willing to make it a priority. That means cutting out all the behaviour that takes you down, and staying vigilant when you just want give in. After a while it will feel normal, but you have to push to get to that point, and even then, you can't let down your guard...even when the going gets tough.

03-05-2010, 06:38 AM
I think Jay-ell said it all for the most part. I'm curious though, why is it "not" worth the effort to start up the grill every night? If it's going to keep you on track, get you healthier and keep your motivation going then what on earth could be more worth the effort? Have you ever though of broiling foods in the oven? If that is more cost effective try that. You get similar taste results and it doesn't cost you the charcoal and lighter fluid. Just hang in there and make one choice at a time. I agree with scheduleing your exercise, especially since you have so much time to do it. When you feel the urge to nibble without it being meal time, get out and get moving. Call a friend, go for a walk, whatever it takes to keep yourself busy and away from the food.

Hang in there! You can do it. :hug;