Alternachicks - Nurturing the Nuts

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08-29-2002, 10:06 AM
Whoops! I meant to start a new thread for this bad..forgive me? :sorry:

Ellis-how are you doing today? Hope you are feeling a little better, hang in there girl :goodvibes

08-29-2002, 01:51 PM
Thanks Mauvais... you're a sweetheart. I'm having another crappy day, but I AM hanging in there! This depression can't last much longer (I hope), and everyone is being very supportive. DH is making me a doctor's appointment (so I don't have to be put on "hold" for 40 minutes), and he's going to get me a snack during his lunch hour. I know that's bad, but it's better than going over the edge, right? And my Mom and Dad and Sis are being really sweet, too.

I'm going to have a cozy time in my bed this afternoon with my snack and a book. :)

Mauvais, how's the job hunting going? Thinking about you... xo

Chris, I'm sorry to hear that it's cancer, but I'm SO glad that it's easily treatable. You're going to be okay, hon. And we appreciate the kick in the butt to do the breast self-exam and lose weight!
Keep us posted on how you're doing. xo

Den, are you okay? I know you're down right now, too. How's school going for DS#2? xo

08-29-2002, 06:20 PM
Christina - Sorry to hear it was bad news but I am glad it was the "best" bad news you could get. *hugs* to you and I will be thinking of you.

Ellis - *hugs* to you too. I hope you had a good day with your book and snack.

08-29-2002, 06:55 PM
Christina, I'm with Squeak - it is the best bad news. It sounds to me as if things are very positive for you. You sure will be getting good vibes, spells, prayers - whatever it takes from here.
When is this going to happen?

08-29-2002, 06:57 PM
Hello everyone:wave:

Christina-sorry to hear that you got bad news but at least it was the best case scenario of the worst case scenarios. My Mum had a lumpectomy (sp?) almost 9 years ago and is doing well, her friend also had one about 12 years ago and is fine too, so that goes to show you that people do get through these things.

Dentrassi-hey chickpea! Hope you are doing okay and haven't overloaded on Marmite:)

Squeaker-have you talked to the boy yet? I am hoping you find the answers you need within yourself regardless of what happens.

Ellis-How did your day go? What book were you reading? You wouldn't be able to pm me some of those Doritos would you:^:

Punkinseed-how did your cholesterol test go?

Sending you all <<hugs>> and healing :goodvibes

08-30-2002, 12:10 AM
Mauvairoux-NOPE!! Just Ice Cream!! (oops, that wasn't me...)

Ellis-DS is doing pretty well so far, and things are getting easier around here because of it!! (grr)

Christina-We're all with you!!!

Squeak-I know you've been having a rough time lately too...How are YOU?

Ruth-Here's hoping for a stress free tomorrow for you!!

08-30-2002, 04:17 AM
Hi girls. Seems like I missed some bad news while I was away. So sorry to hear about it.
Christina, like the others chicks have already said, I'm glad that the news was the best of the worst case scenarios. Thanks for encouraging all of us at a time when you could be just wrapped up in yourself. :grouphug:
I'll take it to heart.
My prayers will be with you. And as to the boy falling asleep on the must have been a wreck! Thank goodness he's alright.

Ellis, Ellis, hope that you are feeling better soon. Glad that you are going to the doc and that the family is being supportive. You shouldn't have to suffer like I hope the medicine man (or woman) comes up with a good concoction for you. A full body massage is nice too, if you can afford one, or hand hubby the oil and tell him where it hurts!! :)

I know that I mentioned on another thread that in Judaism we walk around the block three times after sitting shiva as a ritual to bring us back into the world of the living and to remind us of the cyclical nature of life. If you even have a moment when you're feeling alittle better you might decide to try it. Just grab the family and walk in three circles outside...around your house or block or whatever...then each of you can say three things that you love about life...or each other...or whatever you fancy...we Westerners are so concrete we forget that mind, body, and spirit are all active together. The medicine men give the drugs and we do need them, at least I know that I do, but there are other ways to raise seratonin...exercise, chocolate, walking around the block with you beloveds and holding each other's hands...

Shame that I often pick chocolate, but this is not the place for that conversation. Thinking of you girls, hope you'll all soon be feeling better and on the mend. Love, Soozie

08-30-2002, 02:14 PM
mauvaisroux - Thanks! I survived the needle, which isn't a big deal since I donate blood and have given myself Imitrex shots. I have monster arm veins from doing massage for years so that's always helpful when they're looking for a place to stick....

Next week I get the results, which should be fine since it was genetically low the last time (10 years ago) they checked.

Ellis - I'm sorry about your bad spell. I hope your afternoon book n' snack went well. Too bad you weren't closer, I'm a heck of'a massage therapist ifIdosaysomyself.... ;)


08-30-2002, 03:44 PM
Well, I promise not to use this board to wail about our fertility problems every month (there are all sorts of other sites for that) but I am feeling rather depressed today. My period showed up once again and that means we are now heading into our ninth month of trying to conceive. My husband has a low sperm count... not terrible but barely above the numbers considered low. Funny thing is, up until last year I really wasn't even sure about having children. I am 31 and hubby is 35 and we've been married for over eight years. But now that we have been trying with no luck it is heartbreaking and I want this to happen. And my husband has wanted children since the first year of marriage, so this is taking its toll. Well, we've pretty much agreed that if we are not pregnant within a year we will start looking into the adoption process and saving money (LOTS of it, as an adoption costs around $15,000 and up). We would love to adopt a child of color from another country. Maybe it really is our destiny, who knows. But the whole thing is depressing since most people don't have to pay a fortune just to have children and don't have to go through the emotional roller coaster of the infertility nightmare and all the women in my family get pregnant in the first month and there are teenagers and abusive parents having babies everyday who can't even take care of them... I guess this is my way of saying ITS NOT FAIR. Well, thanks for letting me share... now I'm going up to my bedroom for a good cry and fist fight with God. :stress:

08-30-2002, 05:32 PM
((Sojo)) I'm sorry about that! That's what this thread is for - support, *****ing and moaning - complaining about our aches (both physical and mental) and whether it's life threatening or just something that's breaking your heart (or spirit or will) - dish it out and let us help...

I'm 32 and thank the Gods that I don't have that "biological clock" ticking because I have serious doubts that I could get pregnant if I tried (female stuff years ago). I can't imagine how heartbreaking it must be to get your period every month after trying.

You know, as soon as you *do* decide to adopt, THAT is when you'll get pregnant... I swear, I've heard that so much it's almost like it's some law of nature or something! Your baby is out there, whether it's to come from you or *to* you.

Until then, try to relax and not stress (easy to say, I know) and just to make you laugh I'll send in the ancient Stay-Puff God of fertility to do a dance for you and your hubby :dance:. Now, go buy your man some boxers and don't let him sit in hot tubs or baths!

Hope I made ya' laugh ;)


08-30-2002, 08:43 PM
Well I don't know if it is the change of seasons but I have felt tired and depressed all week. I haven't been sleeping well either.
Mind you I have never been a very good sleeper since high school :shrug: but when I was a teenager several doctors told me there was nothing I could do about it except take the occasional sleeping pill. Punkinseed your clock sounds verrrry interrresting...wonder if it would do anything for me?:sheep: :sheep: :sheep: Maybe I have some strange and rare sleep disorder, I can fall asleep but I can't stay asleep so I never get really deep zzzzz's. The slightest noise or intrusion of light will wake me up or keep me awake. :yawn:

08-30-2002, 10:38 PM
Sojourner-Sorry to hear about your fertility problems. My sister tried in vitro, and it didn't work. I know she felt bad about that too. She is now trying to adopt, hopefully soon!! I know that it is a new disappointment each month your period starts, and i hope that you conceive soon.

08-31-2002, 01:27 AM
My poor little almost/ 13 year old daughter got her period for the first time today. She asked me how long it would last, and I told her 30 - 40 years.
She's just gone through two pairs of pants and 3 bed sheets. She is NOT amused with the whole situation!

Mauvais, I'm sorry you're feeling crappy and not sleeping well. Is there something you could take before bed that would help? Some type of tea or whiskey or something?
I've got a soothing tape I could loan you that put both my children out when they were babies. "Have you ever wanted to be a bird? Well.... "
I'm reading all of my Enid Blytons. The Famous Five, The Secret Seven, Mallory Towers, ... you know...
Of course, I can't read those when I'm sitting on the verandah. Someone might see me and think I'm an imbecile. So then I read my Somerset Maugham... ;)

Terri, you give a good massage, huh? Thanks for the offer, darling... I DO have a guest room! :lol:
Actually, that's Freddie the Fetus. Guaranteed fertility. :dance:

Sojourner, I'm so sorry you're feeling down, sweetie. Don't give up. If it's going to happen, it's when you're least expecting it, like Terri said. My DH and I tried for over 5 years to have a second child, and when we couldn't, we thought, "That's it...!" My husband was set to get a vasectomy, we sold all of our baby stuff, and BANG!! Pregnant. And maybe there IS a little one out there just waiting to be adopted by you and your DH. Leave your fate in the hands of God(s). hugs...

Soozie... what a beautiful idea... the three times around and thankful thingy... I'm going to do it. Thank you so much.
I actually had a pretty good day today. I've decided to give in to my fatigue and just sleep in the afternoons... I think I need it right now.

Den, I'm glad that things are going well so far for DS#2. I hope it keeps up. Are you starting to get out of your funk, sweetie?

Squeak, thanks for the hugs. How are YOU feeling, girl? hugs back...

Chris, thinking about you lots... hugs and prayers...

Oh, and my sister-in-law's girlfriend went in for her surgery today to have the lump removed from her uterus. I'll let you know how she's doing... thanks for all the prayers and good vibes for her...

Okay, is this a bad month, or WHAT!?!?

love to all...

08-31-2002, 09:14 AM
Good morning all.
Chris- once again our prayer are with you. I can tell you are a very strong woman and know you will be fine.
Sojourner- I understand alittle how you feel, My hubby and I were almost a year before I conceived my first child, and it can be very frustrating when each month you get your period. But I am sure good things will come to those who wait, wheter it be natural or adoption. It is true, it is not fair, there are so many teenagers out there having children who don't want them and someone like yourself who would love and nurture a child is having a tough time conceiving. I will be thinking and praying for you both. And when the day comes you hold that little one in your arms, we will all rejoice with you.
Mauvaisroux, Ellis and Punkinseed- I sure hope the change in season, and start of school brings you all renewed and brightened spirits. There is so much pressure and stress in our lives this time of year, so I will be thinking of you three too.
Soozie- The three times around the block thing sounds great. Nice to know there are still people out there who like to give thanks for the good things we have in our lives. They are out there, sometimes we just have to look beyond all the junk.
have a happy and healthy day everyone!

08-31-2002, 09:31 AM
Thank you for your thoughts, Virginia. :)
And I agree with you... too many people focus on the bad stuff in their lives and miss out on all the good things. When I look at my children sleeping (okay, and even sometimes when they're awake :lol: ) I think, "Thank you God for this good, good life. Let me not take it for granted."

08-31-2002, 10:34 AM
This has been a bad month hasn't it? *hugs to all!* :grouphug:

I am here. Not good, but could be worse. I am just kind of here. I have been really tired and yesterday all of a sudden (like within 3 hours) I went from fine to a nasty cold of some sort. Figures I get sick on the long weekend. :p

Still haven't talked to the boy yet. I still want to though. I just want to know what he thinks of the whole thing. It may not change our relationship at all. And I wouldn't mind. Just want to compare where his head is at with mine I guess. He maybe back around this weekend sometime but then he should be off to Cali. for 3 months.

But now I am going to crawl back into bed.

08-31-2002, 12:25 PM
Christina, I gather from the replies that you are going to have a lumpectomy. Please know my heart is with you. I'm so glad you took such quick action and are being treated soon.

Sojourner, hope you're knitting booties next month!

Everyone hang in there! It wouldn't be life without downs between the ups. Makes us appreciate the ups more.

I'm freaking out just a tad. I have a molar that my dentist has wanted to do a root canal on, but I resisted because I had no pain/sensitivity and I said, Oh we'll do it later. Well a couple of days ago I guess I ground my teeth really hard in my sleep because it woke me up. Now I feel like I have a golf ball in my jaw....only there's no abcess or swelling in my gums, and it actually feels like it's in my jaw BONE. I just don't have time for this s**t! I snuck away from work to go to my dentist, except he is away for three weeks and a new, YOUNG, dentist had a look at it. He gave me six days' worth of Penicillin to see if it will clear up whatever is going on in there. He looked like he was 12! I'm supposed to call my dentist in a couple of weeks to follow up. Yeah, but I work freakin 12 hour days! They'll have to beat me over the head to get to me in for a root canal...never had one, dont think I could do it. I know, this is trivial...but I'm totally freaked out.

09-01-2002, 09:17 AM
Hey! My sister-in-law's girlfriend had her surgery yesterday. The doctors removed the lump plus one ovary, and said they're 96% sure that it's not cancerous! :dance:

Wildfire, I'm so sorry about your tooth problems. :( I hate having anyone fiddling about inside my mouth. I hope the Penicillin works, and that you don't have to have anything done. xoxo

Squeak, I really hope that you see your boy this weekend. You really need to get that cleared up, and then I know you'll feel so much better. Thinking of you lots, sweetie... xoxo

Love to everyone...

09-01-2002, 12:04 PM
Ellis-GREAT NEWS!!!!!:hat: :dance: :dance: :hat: Your SIL (and the rest of you, of course!) must be breathing a HUGE sigh of relief. Your daughter is a woman!! Sounds like time to celebrate!!

Wildfire-Sorry to hear about the tooth. YUCK!!!

Squeak-Don't want to sound bossy, but I think you should talk to the boy. It would "clear the air", and KNOWING where you two stand (even if it is that you both aren't sure!!) is better than not knowing.:goodvibes

Mauvais-Are you sleeping yet? Wow!! Lots of us here with sleeping difficulties!!

To all the rest of you...


09-02-2002, 03:56 PM
Woo hoo Ellis - I am glad things went well for your SIL's GF.

Wildfire - Hope your tooth is feeling better or at least you get it out soon. :)

Sojo - :dance: Hope you need to buy baby stuff soon.

Mauvais - I hope your sleep has improved!

Den - you are right we did need to talk even if we are both taking things as they come.

Well I saw my baby this weekend. He just left. And as you can tell (probably) things went well. My bruised ego- low self esteem self has been reassured that yes it does have a bit to do with me and not that I am just a willing body. Our relationship hasn't changed. We aren't dating (which is much better in theory then in practice anyway) but we do care for each other. Even before we talked it was very cuddly. Lots of hand holding (which is actually something newish - and mostly initiated by him) and general cuteness. And a lot of silliness (tickling & pillow fights). I think we hugged goodbye 3 times. (and they were long hugs too). He is on his way home to Ohio for a bit until things with the California job get straightened out. Now I am just bummed knowing I won't see him at all for 3 months. He was surprised when I mentioned that when he gets back it will be time for my work Xmas party (after which last year was when the whole thing started). He was surprised that it will soon be a year. It will be 3 years since we met on the 9th. We met on 9/9/99. :)

And while my bad mood isn't completely gone, at least my rampant imagination has been put in check a bit. It is not as bad as I always think.


09-02-2002, 08:16 PM
Squeak-I'm glad the talk went well. It USUALLY isn't as bad as you are afraid it is going to be!!!!
09-02-2002, 08:43 PM
Oh my I missed so much this weekend!

Sojo, My prayers will be with you! Luckily I did not have to go through any waiting, but I can only imagine how heartbreaking it must be every month! As was stated, buy boxers, no bike rides, & get him to cut out caffiene too! Tell him he does it now, you will do it for the next 9 months! Just remember God has a sense of humor, as my girlfriend with 5 children under the age of 6 can atest! Tried over a year for the first one, didn't use any protection thinking it took forever for first one, 4 months later pregnant again...with twins. Hubby had vasectomy scheduled, chickend out, & rescheduled for 2 months later...too late...pregnant again....Oh & twins again! 5 children within 3 years! YIKES! Hopefully we can have a funny little story like this to share about you soon! Somewhere out there is a perfect little one just waiting to introduced to you, whether it be through adoption, or labor, he/she will be very lucky!

Squeak, Glad to hear the talk went well! Maybe he will decide to change things once he misses you during this time apart!

Ellis,, Glad to hear your family had good news! The waiting is awful, but hearing good news must be wonderful!

Opps sorry I didn't get to everyone, kids are killing each other down stairs, be back as soon as my referee duties are over!

09-02-2002, 09:52 PM
Hi everyone!

I had a good day and I bad day yesterday. We drove down to the town where my mother-in-law lived, we haven't been there since she died four years ago. DH just took a notion to go there so we jumped in the van and went. It was bittersweet-good memories but with that overhanging sense of loss. The worst was driving by her old house, I almost started crying but tried not to because I didn't want to set Hubby off as I know he was struggling with his emotions too. She was a kind person and I felt really close to her and really loved her and miss her.

Ellis-glad to hear your SIL is going to be okay! I guess your little girl is really growing up now too:)

Christina-I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers when you go in for your operation:goodvibes

Squeaker-glad to hear your talk with the boy went well!

Sojourner-good luck with your parental aspirations...something will work out for you one way or the other I'm sure:)

Wildfire-I hope your tooth gets taken care of soon, having toothache is miserable:(

09-02-2002, 10:31 PM
Mauvais, you're back! We've missed you!
That's bizarre... a couple of days ago, WE went to the cemetary where my DH's dad was buried 4 years ago. You know what's really nice, Mauvais? Is that you loved and miss your MIL and I loved and miss my FIL. That's fairly unusual, and I always think that, despite the sense of loss, there's something very nice about regretting a person's passing. Wouldn't it be awful not to be missed? Or not to give a damn because you'd lost someone. I'm babbling, but I'm sure you know what I mean.
Hugs, sweetie...

Christina... thinking about you lots... vent when you need to ... we're here for you. xoxo

Squeak, I'm so glad that you saw your boy and talked things out. The waiting really IS the worst. I'm so sorry you've got low self-esteem. I guess we all do to a certain extent, but YOU have NO reason to feel it! You're VERY attractive, and you're nice and sweet and good and funny and fun!! Don't ever judge yourself by the number of guys that are swarming around you. It doesn't mean a damned thing. And what a great relationship you've got with your boy. Really, when it comes right down to it, there's NOTHING better than simply a good friendship. It's the best. :)

Den, do you really think I should celebrate with my daughter? My mom took my sister and I out to lunch when we got OUR periods. Which seemed sort of ummm, weird. I HAVE been very nice to her about it... Listen... she's still got it, and she was planning on wearing beige pants to school tomorrow. I've convinced her to wear jeans... that's all she'd need is to start a new school with a blood stain on her pants the first day!

Wildfire, dear... get to the dentist. I swear we're all feeling the pain here. xoxo

Hello everyone else... hugs and kisses...

09-03-2002, 02:02 PM
Hello all...

Feelin' poopy today, headache, dizzy, light-headed and a bit nauseaus (sp??). Some 3 day weekend... I spent it killing myself trying to have fun. I WANT A DO-OVER!!!!! :mad:

Squeak - I'm so glad you got to talk to your boy and that it settled you somewhat. I remember all too well that feeling of "what IS going on???". Frustrating for sure. I hope it continues to get ironed out.

Ellis - That is wonderful news!!! :dance: I'm sure your SIL's girlfriend is beyond thrilled to hear such great news!

Wildfire - ouuuuuuch! Ya know, you just convinced me to quit putting off my teeth cleaning. They also want to replace an old filling and I've been avoiding it because it doesn't hurt. Guess I shouldn't wait...

Sojo - I really, truely hope you are knittin' booties soon. I spent some time this weekend hoping my stay-puff fertility god didn't offend in some way. :sorry:

Off to attempt work... damned monitor keeps moving and now my Mom's trying to feed me Benadryl - which is just gonna send me to la-la land... :faint: Zzzzzzzz....

09-03-2002, 03:47 PM
Punkin... you poor girl. I'm so sorry you're feeling crappy. Get lots of rest... cozy up in bed and get someone to wait on you hand and foot. ?? (we wish!)
Would you like us to come over and nurture you back to health?
hugs sweetie...

09-03-2002, 04:15 PM
Eh, I'm still at work.... sometimes it sucks being so indespensable! Besides, sometimes it's better to stay here than try to figure out what in the **** my Mom did when I get back!

Feeling better thank you (hug, kiss) thanks to some non-drowsy antihystamine type stuff. I've developed 2 things since moving to the great Pacific Northwest - a nasty allergy to juniper and sagebrush and extreme sensitivity to weather change/barometric pressure. Well, last night was very windy and today a storm's coming in so I think I just got a double whammy.

I'm hangin' in there and cutting out early to go do work errands, then I'm going home putting on my pj's and cuddling kitties. No one to cater to my every whim... only the kitties, and they BITE my hands and feet, not wait on them.


09-03-2002, 08:25 PM
I was at the point of pulling all my hair out last night and pacing the floor, moaning at the top of lungs when hubby said, "Call the pharmacy and beg for narcotics." So I did. They gave me Tylenol with codeine. I've never taken them before, and boy oh boy did I get stoned! Had to get up at 2am for another dose, but at least I was able to sleep some last night. Coming down off them this morning was not pleasant...had the shakes and everything. (Two extra-strenth Tylenol can put me out for an hour if I get the chance to lie down, barring any dental pain.)

So at 6am I call my boss (who is already at work :rolleyes: ) and tell him I'm in rough shape, I'm going to camp out at the dentist's office until he sees me, and my hubby has to drive me because I'm all strung out on codeine. Boss man was not impressed because hubby and I work together, so the boss was out two people in his department. Oh well...I flat out told him that I was in pain and my health is more important to me than anything that could happen at work today. He was even more unimpressed, as was I. :censored:

Got to the dentist by 8am and MY dentist was there!!! :cp: He upped my antibiotics. I'm now on Amoxicillan, 2000mg a day, which is double what the other guy had me on. I have to go back on Saturday morning so he can look at it again to make sure it's healing and have a cleaning while I'm there (Punkin, go get it DONE! Don't end up like this! :nono: ), then on Monday night at 6pm.....the dreaded root canal . As terrified as I am and even knowing I'll have a full-blown panic attack in the parking lot that night, I'm going, and I'm having those roots yanked out! Enough of this. If I'd done it when he wanted to I wouldn't be in such pain now. Okay, so I tried to get him to pull it today and he told me I'm only 33 and too young to start losing my teeth when there's a chance it can be saved.

I'm still in agony, but at least now I have narcotics.

Punkin, hope you're feeling better.

Squeaker, glad you saw the boy and feel a little more secure. Really sucks that he's leaving for three months, though.

Mauvais, it's hard dealing with the sorrow, but the memories are worth it, aren't they? Bittersweet is such a good description.

Hope everyone else is hanging in there. I'm going to suck tea through a straw in the hope that the heat won't hit my chipmunk cheek.

09-04-2002, 12:10 AM
Wildfire-Glad to hear that the dentist saw you!! Your boss stinks.

Punkin-Glad to hear YOU are feeling better. I get knocked out with weather changes too!!

Ellis-My Mom gave me a plant with red leaves, and I commented on how appropriate it was. She was not amused (I was warped then too.) We moved shortly afterwards, and I was told we'd come back for the plant. By the time we did it had died. I was REALLY upset (but didn't show know the story!) It seems like a big milestone like that should be commemorated, but you know your daughter better than I do. If you think she'd think it was dumb then don't! My little menstrual plant sure meant a lot to me though (UNTIL IT DIED THAT IS!!! no, I don't hold grudges!!)

Mauvais-It is great that you had such a good relationship with your MIL. It must have been difficult going there, but it is good that you did. I hope you are feeling better soon!

09-04-2002, 10:43 AM
Terri, how are you feeling this morning? You sounded a little better yesterday. I haven't been sick in about a year... very bizarre... Keep out of the rain, hon!

Wildfire, I'm so glad you got some real drugs! I hope they've kicked in, and the pain is gone.
Your boss sounds like an a-hole. What the heck is wrong with him?
You're going to be glad that you got the root-canal. I'm sure it won't be pleasant, but anything's got to be better than what you're going through NOW! Take care...

Den, that plant... what a ummm, lovely idea! :lol: Maybe I SHOULD pick her something up. We're all going to buy new running shoes tonight... I'll see what I can find. Perhaps a red book? A red box? ...

09-04-2002, 12:38 PM
Feeling much better this morning, thank you!

I have drugs (pseudoephedrine type allergy drugs) and my head feels clear!

I actually awoke with a giggle this morning. My sunlight clock woke me up and when I opened my eyes my eldest cat Luna was sitting there staring at me... I don't know what she wanted, it was creepy and funny all at once!

Ellis, I think getting your daughter a momento to mark her official womanhood is a wonderful idea. She may not feel like "celebrating" now, but maybe eventually she'll look at it differently, once she gets the hang of it.

Wildfire - PM me, I'll give you my company's 800 number, give it to your boss and I'll tell him to go :censored: himself. His reaction was nothing short of rude and self centered... like your pain is *nothing*?? Ug, grrrr.... I promise to make that appointment as soon as I have the fundage (no insurance here).

Well, guess I should work.... :grouphug: everyone!


09-04-2002, 07:44 PM
NOW we're cooking with fire..:flame:

I phoned my dentist this afternoon because it suddenly dawned on me that I just shouldn't have to be in so much freakin' pain. :idea: He offerred me Tylenol 3 or choice. Well, since I still have to function at work, I took the T3's. There is so much pressure in my jaw, it feels like the side of my face might just explode. That root canal will be nothing compared to all this pain!

Punkin, compared to our inventory count, my pain is nothing to any of the managers at work. Even though I'm not involved in the actual count, just the adjustments when it's all done. Didn't even see the Boss man today. Your Luna cat was probably waiting for you to explain why it was SO bright in her bedroom this morning. :D Glad you're feeling better.

:grouphug: Gotta find something for supper that doesn't require much chewing.

09-04-2002, 08:31 PM
Wildfire - I am glad you are soon to be in less pain!

Ellis - I think getting something cute for your daughter might be nice. I didn't get anything, but I didn't get my period until after I graduated high school and then it was actually drug induced. I had to go to the GYN and have all sorts of tests done to find out why I wasn't getting one. I was just fine without one as far as I was concerned :lol: Turns out I have a hormonal imbalance and need to be on the Pill to straighten it out. Not exactly something I wanted to celebrate. How are you feeling? Any better?

Christina - Thinking about you and I hope things are going ok.

Thanks for all the support over me & my boy. Talking was good and I am now over my cuddly induced haze. :) Just kinda bummed about the 3 month thing. But it isn't like we won't talk, just not see each other. Then he will be around for at least 6 months when he graduates. Then who knows. But that is far off from now. :p And Ellis, you are right, nothing is better then a good friend. Part of the reason I was hesitant when the whole thing started is as much as I like fooling around, his friendship was (and still is) more important and I didn't want anything to ruin that.

:grouphug: Hugs to all :grouphug:

09-04-2002, 10:05 PM
Evening everyone:wave:

I am feeling much better today after sleeping for two days straight and being on the tea and toast diet:lol: I managed to drag my butt in to work and made it through to 5 pm. I hate being sick:p

Ellis-your poor DD what a bad start to the day but at least it ended well. Maybe you could get her a little something as a giftee to mark the occasion. My Mom barely even talked to me about it as she was very shy and embarrassed about personal things like that. In fact we never even had the "sex talk" no wonder I don't have kids yet:lol:

Wildfire-hope you are feeling no pain :dz:

Punkinseed-:lol: I was just picturing Luna nose to nose with you, I have a cat too and she does the same thing, it is kind of cute and funny but slightly creepy too.

Thanks Den and Ellis for the kind thoughts about my MIL. I still miss her :(

09-04-2002, 11:03 PM
Mauvais, sweetie... would you like us to tell you all about ummm, sex!?
Thank goodness for sex-ed, huh? My mom sat me down at the age of 15 for a chat, and I said, "MOM!! We learned that in school!!"

Okay, you've all convinced me to get my daughter a gift. I know where it's coming from... you're all thinking, "Gee, I'D damn well like a gift for getting MY period!!" :lol:

Terri, Mauvais, Squeak, Wildfire... I'm glad you're all getting better...

Speaking of being sick, I was in bed last night and there was a mosquito buzzing around me. In fear for my life, I spent a busy 30 seconds trying to kill the damned thing before I dropped off to sleep. I don't know if it bit me, but I die you'll know why... fatigue... it can kill you.

09-04-2002, 11:10 PM
Ummm, Ellis, are you sure that wasn't a Tse Tse fly? You know,the fly that gives you sleeping sickness...:) not to be confused with Spanish fly the kind that gives you:o oops!:tape:

09-05-2002, 12:56 AM
Punkinseed, your stay-puf fertility god cracked me up... no offense taken at all.


If it were only that easy!!

Thanks for the kind words and support from everyone. Hopefully our time will come soon enough.

09-05-2002, 12:51 PM
I do think it is a good idea to do something significant for your daughter's first ummm... menses?? (HAHAHA... I really hate that word!!) But seriously, I have heard of ceremonies and gifts and meals and the like. If I ever have a daughter, I think it would be nice to buy her something lasting that would remind her to value that she is FEMALE (yay!) and to also honor her sexuality. I remember when I got my period it just felt dirty and icky. No talk about what a great thing it is to be a woman. Maybe get her a garnet ring (something with a red stone) or something similar that she could always have with her. Now that she is a girl-woman she is able to get pregnant!!! AGHHHH!!!! A nice talk about cherishing and protecting her sexuality might be appropriate too. What a blessing to have a daughter!

09-05-2002, 02:08 PM
Whew Sojo! I made the comment then you dissappeared so of course, I wondered.... As much as I adore the internet it does sadly lack the ability to show humor or things like that. I'm glad it cracked you up - humor is often the best cure for many of life's stresses. :lol:

Wildfire - You've got drugs!!!! Hope it feels better soon - I'll be thinking of you Monday.

Mauvais, I'm glad you're feeling better!

Ellis - I think Sojo's idea of something with a red stone is perfect! I remember the exact moment I started and there was no "yeah!!! You're now a woman!!". Instead my Dad asked sheepishly if I wanted to go to my Mom's house.
Both of my girlfriends with daughters have plans for their first cycle - my Pagan friend has been telling her daughter about her "moon time" for a couple years (she's 8) and she's thrilled to become a woman - unfortunately she will probably have her first pretty soon.

:grouphug: to everyone!

Hi-ho hi-ho,


09-06-2002, 12:13 PM
Hey nuts...

Christina...I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for the diagnosis, but happy it's so treatable. I know, that with your positive energy, you will beat this thing.

Many, many good wishes and thoughts and prayers are coming your way. Wrap yourself inside of them, keep your chin up and stay strong. We're pulling for you!

09-09-2002, 10:15 PM
Hey Christina, how are you doing lately?

Wildfire-hope your root canal went okay.

Ellis-I think the idea of some garnet jewelry is a great idea!

Hey, Punkinseed, I may need that Stay-Puf fertility god:dance: myself one day, you never know...

09-10-2002, 12:47 AM
Mauvais-How are YOU? Are you sleeping yet? I sure hope you are feeling better soon.

09-10-2002, 05:32 PM
Wildfire - How's the tooth?? Do you have that side effect where you drool off one side because it's numb?? If so, maybe it's best to stay away from the keyboard! ;)


09-10-2002, 07:46 PM
It wasn't fun by any means, but the root canal wasn't as bad as I was expecting. The endodontist specialist guy was pretty easy on the eyes, too. ;) My dentist stopped in twice to make sure I was okay, which I thought was really nice. I was there for two hours! Geez, my jaw hurt! It's pretty sore today, but not sharp-pain-sore, more that I can just tell there was a lot of digging around in there, and of course I can hardly open my mouth :tape: because it's so sore from the injection. But I survived!!!! *happy dance* :dance:

I go back next Wednesday for a permanent filling.

Thanks for all the good vibes, they worked!!! :goodvibes :grouphug:

09-10-2002, 09:15 PM
Den-yes I have gotten some sleep:yawn: I feel better now:)

Wildfire-glad your root canal went well.

09-11-2002, 08:06 AM
So glad you did so well at dentist! Nothing worse than have a toothache and sore mouth. Hopefully you will be back to noraml in no time.

09-12-2002, 10:23 AM
Christina - I hope everything is going well. *hugs*

Hug your loved ones. I found out this morning that my friend's dad killed himself yesterday. Thier relationship wasn't very good and she hadn't talked to him for a few years, but it is still upsetting. I have never met him but it was still unnerving.

09-12-2002, 10:29 AM
Squeak, I'm so very sorry about your friend's dad. Prayers and hugs...
xoxo ellis

09-12-2002, 02:17 PM
SO sorry to hear of your friends dad. That is terrible. I am sure your friend will really need your support now, and we are here for you if you just need to talk.

09-12-2002, 02:43 PM
Squeak-Sorry to hear about your friend's Dad. We're all thinking of you AND of your friend.


09-12-2002, 04:41 PM
Gee, Squeak - how very upsetting for her and for you. Not having talked for a few years probably makes it worse. Hugs to both you and your friend, I am sure you will be a comfort to her.

09-12-2002, 09:09 PM

Sorry to hear about your friend's dad.
Hugs to both you and her :grouphug:

09-12-2002, 09:40 PM
:grouphug: Squeaker, I'm so sorry. I had a sister-in-law who committed's a very difficult thing to deal with. Please let your friend know that she couldn't have done anything to prevent this. Often that is how people feel...."if I'd only known I could have done something"....if he'd wanted help he would have found a way to let someone know.

09-13-2002, 03:17 AM
Squeak, love to you and hugs and thank you for reminding us all to tell the people that we love how we feel and give them the hugs we all need.

09-16-2002, 12:44 PM
Squeak, I'm so sorry about your friend and the horrible loss of her father. She's lucky to have a friend like you to lean on.

I'm a bit sad today, I lost my fish, Piranah - a Jack Dempsy cichlid, some time over the weekend. A fish?? Big whoop right? Well, this fish has been with me FOREVER - literally almost 1/2 as long as I've been alive. She was a tiny little thing when my Mom was still living in CA and my best friend was pregnant with her daughter who's now 11. Piranah moved with me when my husband and I moved out together in '92 and she survived jumping out of the tank and living on the carpet for who knows how long before I came home, found her and threw her dried body back in the tank. When we had to move in with his parents she came along even though my MIL was strongly against any pet of mine. When I divorced, she survived 12 hours in the car in a 1/4 tank of water strapped into my passenger seat on the drive to Oregon. She'd been blind for about the last 4 years and you had to tap on the lid to let her know food was up there. To the best we could figure she was over 14 years old.
So, I lost my not-so-little fish (she was about 5 inches long) and I feel a little silly, but I'm sad.

I wish her well and thank her for being around with me through so many of my life's journeys.


09-16-2002, 08:26 PM
Terri - sorry about your fishy. They may not do much like dogs or cats, but you still can get attached to them. (I have a very fat goldfish - Yates. Robby I had for 4 years before he died, which is old for a goldfish) Esp. one you have had so long and has been around through so many changes.

09-16-2002, 08:30 PM
I am so sorry Punkin. Pets are members of the family, and losing them is very painful. Don't feel like you need to trivialize losing your fish. When our cat died a few years back (at 16 1/2 years) we felt awful. We didn't get another cat for 3 years, because we felt it wouldn't be the same. Wasn't until we had Meggie foisted upon us that we got another cat. And now we love her too!!

09-16-2002, 08:33 PM
Terri, so sorry about your beloved fish. That's a long time to have a fish... we have some, and you can get quite attached to some of them. No need to apologize for being sad about THAT! hugs

09-16-2002, 08:40 PM
Hey Punkin
SOrry to hear about your fish, Piranah! That is a long time to have a fish, WOW! You must have taken such great care of him. Never feel silly for a loss. Lossing a pet is always hard!

09-16-2002, 09:11 PM
Punkin-sorry that you lost your pet fish, it is hard no matter what type of pet you have, especially if they have been the one constant through troubled times and moves.

09-16-2002, 10:00 PM
Punkin, I'm sorry that Piranha isn't with you anymore. Don't feel silly about being sad over your fish! Fourteen years is a long time. You were responsible for Piranha's well-being and made sure he(?) had the necessities of life and a proper environment, and you did a fantastic job as a fish-mom for Piranha to have spent 14 years in your care. Of course you feel the loss! :grouphug:

09-17-2002, 10:30 AM
Punkin...I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved fish. Please don't feel silly. A pet is a pet no matter what the species! They are a part of our lives, it's only natural to miss them when they are gone. Be kind to yourself. Take care.

09-17-2002, 11:32 AM
Thank you all so much.... I guess because you can't cuddle a fish or get love in return, it felt odd to consider this a legitimate loss. My Mom took care of fishy, put her in a box and wants to put her in the family pet cemetary.:^: 14 years is ancient for a fish, but I've been told Jack Dempsy's have records of living to be quite old. I guess I was a good fish Mom.

As for being a good cat Mom, that remains to be seen.... apparently in an attempt to cheer me up yesterday Maia, my youngest cat, decided to show me how much she enjoys eating soap - yes, soap! So, it's getting locked up now too, along with my kitchen sponge (she eats the green abrasive stuff off the one side), toilet paper and straws for my cups. :rolleyes:


09-18-2002, 01:41 AM
Terri, so sorry to hear about Piranha!!! Hope your cat eats something else goofy to cheer you up more!!! Love, soozie

09-18-2002, 10:26 PM
Hi everyone.

I haven't been posting that much lately as I have been feeling depressed and worried. I have been having pain in one of my breasts for a couple of weeks and went to the doctor about it yesterday.

She checked everything but is has not found a lump. But she is concerned enough to be sending me for a mammogram given my family history. My appointment is for tomorrow morning and I have to admit that I am really scared. I am only 35 and have never had a mammogram before and I am worried because my Mom had a lumpectomy about 9 years ago.

She also told me to stop taking my birth control pills, permanently, so that will be another issue to discuss with DH.
He has been very supportive and has been babying me for the last 2 days and will be driving me to the clinic tomorrow for moral support.

Talk to you all soon.

09-18-2002, 10:45 PM
I am sorry you aren't feeling well hun. *hugs* I hope everything goes well tomorrow.


09-18-2002, 11:31 PM
Hey Mauvais, Sorry that you have been stressed honey! If you have some meat on your bones mammograms are usually pretty no big deal...if you have very teeny weeny boobies and the radiology tech has to find them and smoosh them it is a bit more uncomfortable. But, it is a fairly quick procedure and well worth any discomfort.

Where I go they have a sign that says, we compress because we care!

I'm hope that everything goes well tomorrow...usually pain is a good sign because it is rarely a symptom of breast cancer.

Think positive and lean on hubby....glad that he is being supportive.

Take care and I'll be thinking of you tomorrow

09-19-2002, 12:24 AM
Mauvais-I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. Soozie is right, mammograms are not exactly fun, but they are worth it. Hopefully yours will come back clear. Let us know what happens sweetie. We'll all be sending good vibes your way tomorrow morning! I'm glad your hubby is being supportive. It is easier to go through stressful things like this when you have someone who will support you like that.

xxoo :love: :goodvibes :grouphug:

09-19-2002, 09:34 AM
Mauvais, take a couple of 222's an hour before the procedure. Yes, it is very uncomfortable but we girls have to do it. Try not to fret - I had a major scare last summer but it turned out to be a swollen gland from black fly bites and went away on its own after two mammos and ultra-sound.

09-19-2002, 11:55 AM
Mauvais, take care. I hope everything goes well today - report back as soon as you can. I hope you're feeling better soon too!


09-19-2002, 02:44 PM
Sneding you good vibes and a big hug, I m sure everythign is fine, but it is great to have it checked out to releive your mind.:goodvibes :grouphug: Virginia

09-19-2002, 06:32 PM
Mauvais...good luck to you and thanks for reminding me to make an appointment for my annual squash fest! DH sounds like a gem. Good thoughts and positive vibes comin' atcha!

09-19-2002, 09:48 PM
Just popped in and wanted to send my :goodvibes to you, Mauvais. Do something special for yourself after the spend the day at home in bed with hubby and make the rest of the world just wait. :grouphug:

09-20-2002, 05:52 PM
Mauvais sweetie... just got back and saw your post... I'm sorry I missed you. I hope that everything went okay. I'll be saying lots of prayers for you. Stay calm... all will be well.
We love you!!
xoxo ellis

09-20-2002, 09:58 PM
Thanks everyone for all of your prayers, kind thoughts and good vibes! :) They must have worked as I got a call from the doctor's office at work this afternoon and they told me that there was nothing on the mammogram :D As soon as I put the receiver down I started shaking and crying from sheer relief! I guess I had all my emotions corked up for the last two days by trying not to show everyone how freaked out I was.

The doctor told me to stop taking the Pill as of Tuesday this week and no caffeine for at least a month. She thinks it may be the hormones in the Pill or caffeine related (though I have cut back a lot in the last 4 months) I have to see her again in a month's time so we will see what happens:shrug: I am just so glad it is not the big C :)

09-21-2002, 01:20 AM

09-21-2002, 03:22 AM
Great to hear that you got good news!!!! So, what did you think of the smooshing? Not as bad as they make it out to be? Let us know.
Kiss those tah-tahs and give a prayer of thanks!!!!!
Love, Soozie

09-21-2002, 06:09 AM
Mauvais, I'm so glad to hear the good news. :)
Phew!! I know (and I'm sure most of us do) just what it is to go through that kind of scare.
I knew there was something wrong... you just haven't been your "old" self lately.
It's gotta be the Pill. Can't possibly be caffeine. Who can live without coffee? NOT US!! :D

Now you can "love life" again. Have a wonderful weekend with your DH.
hugs and kisses

09-21-2002, 04:34 PM
Yay, Mauvais! :cb: :dancer: So glad to hear it's not the big "C". Do something to celebrate this weekend!

09-22-2002, 10:25 PM
Hi everyone:wave:

I am feeling much better now:)

The smooshing wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be and it only took 10 minutes. I do have a small bruise in the exact same spot on each arm though, hmmm....:?:

That was such a scare I had:fr: I think it was a wake up call to slow down and try not to do so much. I had a big talk with DH on the weekend about taking some time out for ourselves and sharing the household responsibilites. My job is very stressfull to so I am trying to figure out how to de-stress myself there too. I can't change the way my boss acts but I can change the way that I react.

We went out to a Vietnamese restaurant for dinner to celebrate and had a lovely dinner including bubble tea and red wine and coconut rice pudding (diet be damned! :devil: ) It was nice to have dinner just the two of us. Tee hee! the waiter must have thought we were on a date because we were holding hands across the table so much:o I had a pretty quiet weekend and I think it did me some good.

09-23-2002, 06:25 AM
Mauvais, I'm so glad you had a good weekend. :)
Yes, we ALL need to slow down and enjoy life to its fullest.
And you're very wise re: changing the way you react to your boss. That's one of the best things my DH has taught me... I am the only one who has power over my feelings. How I react to the way others treat me can make me or break me. And I chose MAKE! Nobody can "make" me happy and nobody can "make" me sad... it's all up to me.
You've got a great attitude, sweetie! Keep it up!
xoxo ellis

09-23-2002, 12:27 PM
Too true!! You BOTH have great attitudes! I'm trying to adopt the same philosophy, but having a few problems with it right now. Feeling hurt and angry about some things going on in the family that I SHOULD be able to rise above.

09-23-2002, 12:53 PM
Wonderful news Mauvais!!!! :dance:

Dent, I don't know what's going on, but you hang in there! They're *family* - you didn't choose 'em they just came with the whole "birth" thing. Distance yourself if you gotta... Hope it gets better soon.

09-23-2002, 07:31 PM
I am back!!!!

I can't even remember when I was in last, but it feels like forever! Well I had the cancer removed the first week of September. I have been on the Tamoxifen for a week now & I start radiation this week. Otherwise it is all under control.

We had both brthday parties. Alli got a million Barbies & had a wonderful party. Grandma had her 30th, I wore a cute little dress. DH actually looked at me & said I have never owned a sexier dress. I wasn't sure how to take that, did it look good or slutty? But then at the party I overheard him talking to his cousin & brother, he actually told them that "he is jealous now when we go out & he sees someone looking at me" They all laughed, he was very serious & said "I am, I know it is my problem, but I still have to bite my toungue"

Anyway, I am feeling good. Diet got a little side tracked though, but in reality for what I was eating the last 3 weeks, the 5 pound gain isn't so bad! Back on track this week though, hoping to shed that 5 I gained & hopefully an additional 5 by Halloween.

09-23-2002, 08:31 PM glad to see you're back with us.

I've been thinking about you and sending good thoughts your way.... :goodvibes

also been sending you virtual m-n-ms - the kind without calories? you know the ones I'm talking about:lol: :m:

Glad you had fun at the party.

Big Hug for you grrrlfriend :grouphug:

Love, Terrigrrrl

09-23-2002, 08:38 PM
Christina!!! We've been wondering and worrying about you! I'm so glad things are under control and you seem to be very positive, which as Martha says, is a very good thing. Just be sure to take the time you need to deal with the radiation. You don't have to be a superwoman, you gentle with yourself, and know that we're all behind you. And congrats on the jealous husband!!! :D

Mauvais, glad to hear you had a nice weekend. I've recently been through a blow-up at work, and I've decided that no matter how stressed I get about my work environment, it's obvious that the people who could change it aren't going to because they turn a blind eye to the situation. So, two weeks ago I decided that I am the only person I can control at work, and everyone else can dig their own graves. I am concerned solely with my own behaviour and ignore everyone else's. Surprisingly, it's working. Sure I still have moments when I quietly growl from the depths of my office, but then I remember that whatever they're doing isn't my concern. I hope you can do the same with your boss.

Den, it's okay to be hurt about family situations. Just try not to dwell on it. Tell yourself "so-and-so is being an ***" or whatever applies, even write it down (and burn it later)....acknowledge it, but don't dwell on it. I know, easier said than done. Just hoping to make you feel better. We love you. Does that help? :^:

09-23-2002, 09:19 PM
We missed you so much! So glad to hear you are doing okay! Its great to see you so positive as usual.
Wow, you have hubby spinnin his head. You go girl!:love: :dizzy:
Will write more tomorrow girls, just wanted to tell Chris how much we all missed her.

Virginia:cb: :grouphug:

09-23-2002, 11:12 PM
Anyone seen my keys????? I can not find them anywhere. I retraced my steps and everything. So if any of you find them please let me know. :dizzy:

Gone nuts!

09-24-2002, 04:21 AM
Chris, I'm so glad you're doing well. We've all been thinking about you... keep us updated, sweetie.

Den, do you need to vent? Are you okay, hon? Terri and Wildfire are right... you don't need to dwell on that crap. It's NOT your problem. Just let it go (I know, I know... easier said than done). We're here for you if you need us... hugs...

Hey Virginia... did you find your keys? xoxo

09-24-2002, 07:30 AM
Yeah I found my keys this morning in the shoe box.
I looked last night, but apparently not hard enough. It is an awful feeling when you lose them, but it feels great to find them again.
P.S. Going to the gym tonight with my hot little walking friend! Can't wait! I have been wanting to get there forever now.

09-24-2002, 12:40 PM
I love you women!! Thanks for the encouragement. I feel stupid even bringing it up, because it is no big deal, but dealing with some of my in-laws' fat biases sometimes is very painful. But no big deal compared to what some of you are dealing with!!!

Ellis-I don't know that it is even worth venting about. Just stupid stuff that USUALLY I let slide off me!!!

Christina-Glad to see you back!! We've been thinking of you and WORRYING about you, so it is good to hear from you!!!!

Wanttolosealot-How about this one....after searching for my glasses for 15 minutes omce I realized I was WEARING them!!!!!

09-24-2002, 12:47 PM
Den, don't feel stupid bringing it up. It's a big deal to YOU, and we love you, so it's a big deal to US.

09-26-2002, 08:32 AM
Christina! I knew you were back and finally found your post. What a great attitude you have! Now nurture yourself and get well fast. Healthy eating is more imnportant than any damned diet!

09-28-2002, 12:01 AM
Hey Ruthxxx-hope your operation goes well tomorrow! :goodvibes

Dentrassi-vent away! That is what we are here for :)

Christina-hope you are doing okay-take good care of yourself.

I am feeling better, a lot of the pain has gone away and it is reduced to one small area. I can wear a bra again without it bothering me. I have to go back for a check up in 3 weeks.

09-28-2002, 09:12 PM
Mauvais - I am glad you are feeling better.

Den - Vent all you want, even if you think it's stupid. It will still make you feel better. (and I have done the same thing with my glasses :))

Chris - I am glad you were feeling better. Come back and let us know if you still are :)

10-16-2002, 01:08 PM
Yesterday I had my first appointment with my ob/gyn regarding infertility problems. For some reason I thought everything would be fine, and then I found myself crying while waiting in the exam room. We actually didn't do any tests but talked about the options. I should have had my husband come with me, but I really thought it would be brief and no problem. How dumb is that? I guess I was in some sort of denial... not facing up to the reality of the situation. So now I have to go in on Thursday and have all sorts of lab work done... they will check me for polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and endometriosis. Then next month they will do some sort of horrible sounding test where they shoot dye into my ovaries and tubes to see if they are open. Then they will also do an ultrasound to see if there are any ovarian cysts, etc. Lovely. I REALLY am dreading this all. I have been pretty depressed the last couple of days. :cry: I was so down on Monday, but never once connected it to the appointment.

10-16-2002, 01:48 PM
Sojo, sweetie... I'm sorry you're depressed. You need to start on some positive thinking. Right now you're focusing on all the bad stuff, when you've actually so much going RIGHT for you!
I know how important this is to you, but let it take its own course. Worrying and stressing about it is only going to backfire on you. Address the worst, and then look towards the postive.
hugs and prayers... ellis

10-16-2002, 03:47 PM
Dito for me Sojo, listen to Ellis, she is a pretty smart chick. I too will be thinking and praying for you sweetie. Take care

10-16-2002, 11:12 PM
Sojo- sending :goodvibes and a virtual :grouphug: your way!
I hope things go well with your tests.

10-22-2002, 01:32 AM
Ok folks... I am having some sort of emotional meltdown this last week and a half. I am not even going to get on that scale because it can't be good news. I am depressed, eating too much, not exercising, and basically hating life. There have been way too many major stressful things going on for way too long. I absolutely don't know what I am going to do. If I can just drag my butt back to exercising I will probably feel better... but its the last thing I want to do.

Serenity NOW!! :stress:

10-22-2002, 01:53 AM
Oh Sojo,

I'm sorry about all of this.

There's not really anything I can do but I can tell you I've btdt. I went through secondary fertility stuff and about gave up. I had the procedure where they shoot the dye into your fallopian tubes and xray you (they wanted to check for blockages because I had an ectopic pregnancy). I won't lie, it sucked. It wasn't the worst thing I've ever been through but it was really uncomfortable, etc. They inflate a "balloon" in there and do other freaky things. I remember asking the technician guy if I could have a RED balloon and he just didn't get that minor attempt at levity. Then I drove myself back to work for the rest of the day (don't do that). My dh never even asked me how it went, either. Boy, that day I'm getting depressed, too.....Oh, wait! There is good news: after that test came back ok, they sent me for a diagnostic pelvic ultrasound and that's how I got my dd. A total coincidence.

Hang in there, it gets better.

10-22-2002, 02:58 AM
Well, the infertility rumor mill does say that "a lot" of women get pg after the dye test. Somehow I doubt it though... its sort of like the myth that so many women get pg right after they adopt (the reality is about 5% of women who adopt get pg). There are just so many misunderstandings and myths... like that stress causes infertility and that "relaxing" will somehow help you get pg. I am glad to hear that things worked out for you... it is really difficult for people to understand the pain of infertility until they experience it. I am also very sorry to hear that you also had to deal with a tubal pregnancy and the loss and grief that go with that. How long did you ttc for your second child?

We are trying to conceive our first child... so its especially scary thinking we may never be able to have any biological children. What a mess this is... plus it is compounded by all the other things going wrong in my life right now.

On a lighter note and just to clarify... your post made it sound like you got your dd from the doctor or tech who administered the pelvic ultrasound... ;) I haven't been told anything about THAT kind of service! :lol:

10-23-2002, 12:29 AM
Well, Sojo, everyone knows somebody who got pg right after adopting or having some test or just plain giving up. I do, too, in fact. But, you're right, the truth is that it's all just one big crap shoot. All I can say is hang there as long as you need to and see it through to whatever point YOU decide.

My post did make it sound like the tech had something to do with my pregnancy. LOL. I WISH I had insurance that good! It's funny, after about a year and half of "ttc" they randomly scheduled that appt and when I got there the tech said, "Oh, look, there's an egg ready to go." I said no way, it was over a week after it was "supposed" to happen. She said, "Go get your dh!" I said, "Why wait? There's gotta be some handsome drs. right here in the hospital!"


10-23-2002, 12:36 AM
So as my luck would have it... my lab results came back indicative of polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). On the one hand, I am horrified... as many women who have PCOS are never able to have children and have a lot of problems losing weight. On the other hand, they are going to put me on some drugs right away to help control my insulin which in turn should level out my hormones.

Not sure what to feel... just going to go pick up the prescription and see what happens. I was glad to see there is a forum on 3FC for women with PCOS.

10-23-2002, 01:52 AM
Sojo...don't give up hope...medical science is so amazing where fertility is concerned. Not everyone can concieve but there are so many ways to try.

When I wanted to get pregnant I never thought that I would have any problems. Just the stress and difficulty of figuring out how we would get me pregnant as my dp and I both have the same goods...lots of spermies! So, we went through all of the trials and tribulations and discussions of what is best when you're doing it in an atypical way and when its not the traditional way there really is no "best way" just the way that is right for you!

We tried with a known donor first and ultimately had to use an anonymous donor as our friend who was trying to donate for us had HIG, human immunoglobulen something or other which meant his swimmers were weighted down by these antibodies and his semen needed to be washed with some stuff to remove the antibodies which killed off some of the bad boys and needless to say...after two intrauterine inseminations with his contribution and two disappointing periods and no pregnancies and no spermies left... we quickly found a sperm bank.

There was also the fact that one of his vials was lost in the bottom of the cryotank when the tech dropped it and couldn't fish it know that liquid nitrogen is some nasty stuff...she couldn't just fish around in there with her hand...a "lost soldier" they referred to it as in the andrology lab...many disappointments and tears and frustrations and tests and tests and tests and getting stuck over and over and switching arms to see which felt less like a pincushion that day and dp learning to give me an injection of progesterone and my realization that my, "the only reason I'm not pregnant is obvious...the moment that semen hit this body I'll be with child"...was very incorrect.

After nearly a year of working with the fertility doc I ended up concieving through IUI...intrauterine insemination, with the super sperm from the sperm bank...they gauranteed a certain count and mobility...screened for quality...on Clomid, a medication that stimulates the ovaries and produces more and healthier eggs and with acupuncture fertility treatments...a nice blend of East and West!

Having a diagnosis is a good helps direct your treatment plan...there are many women with PCOS who do concieve with the help of Glucophage and other drugs so...hang in there is so hard and painful now, you begin to live life by your menstral cycle and the process can rule your life with running back and forth to the doctor for ultrasounds and bloodwork but don't give up.

I remember that month that I finally felt alittle different...I always felt funky from the progesterone but that day...the day before I was due for my period...I felt...well, boobs were a tiny bit tender...I was due to go to the fertility doc in two days for my blood work.

However, I couldn't wait. It was too soon for a pee test to work so I called my famiy doc and asked her to order a stat pregnancy test...I worked in a hospital then so I just walked over to the lab and had my blood drawn.

Then I waited. Then I called the lab and said, well? The tech sounded very serious and somber...I asked if it was bad news...she said...that depends, do you want to be pregnant or not? I said, I really really really want to be pregnant and she said, then congratulations honey. I still couldn't believe it and made one of the docs that I work with pull up the lab report and print it out on our computer...I kept looking at the result over and over.

It took so many years to get there and it was all the sweeter...I value the gift of being able to parent my daughter so is such a blessing...such a miracle...

Try to have hope Sojo...I know that you need to protect yourself and be realistic and not everyone can concieve and carry a pregnancy but don't be too discouraged either...pray, pray, pray and go to an excellent physician and I'll be praying for you too!!!!!!!!

I want to hear your story when you find out that your blood test is positive or you miss your period and pee on one of those sticks and get a plus sign....yes, everytime your period starts and you aren't pregnant hurts deeply but just remember, it may be only a matter of time before you get the news that you've been dreaming of...hang in there.

Love. Soozie

10-23-2002, 12:35 PM
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It sounds like you had quite the journey and I am so happy to know that you were blessed with a beautiful daughter. I am really trying to focus on giving this up to God and not obsessing about it... one way or another we will have children, whether through natural means, assisted means, or through adoption. Sometimes it feels like we are the only ones going through this... but I know its not true. My mom keeps telling me to take this one day at a time which is so difficult. But the alternative is to obsess and become more depressed and worried. Stories like yours help me to be more hopeful and positive... thanks again!

10-23-2002, 04:19 PM
Sojo I wish you all the luck in the world in trying to get pregnant. I too know what it is like having a difficult time getting pregnant. It took DH and I over 4 years and i had NEVER been on birthcontroll pills. Most women in my family there signifigant other looks at them funny and their pregnant. The really hard part was finding out that family and friends were expecting and bragged that they didn't have to try hardly at all. DH and i hadn't told any of our families that were were trying to get pregnant so they had no idea what they were doing to us. But alas we now have an adorable (IMHO) little girl. I finally got pregnant after getting severly sick and not being able to find anything wrong with me (I think from stress) and the Dr putting me on medacine and saying " What ever you do DO NOT get pregnant." Well of course being one to never listen to Dr's. 3 weeks later I was pregnant. Hold your head high and hang in there it will happen for you one way or another.

Ok now on to a little bad news. I'm going in friday to have a Lumpectomy. I found a large lump in my breast a little over a month ago. I had an ultra sound and a Mammo done the Head radiologist was imphatic that i get further diagnosis promptly. So Last Tuesday i had a Needle biopsy done but they couldn't get enough cells for a conclusive diagnosis and yesterday when i went back to see the surgen he said i should have the lump removed as soon as possible. I go in friday morning for a lumpectomy. He said he hoped to be able to give me a diagnosis when i come out of surgery but the actual pathology report would probably take another week.

This last month has been really rough but i think i'm ready to handle the result no matter what they are, it's just the surgery its self that has me really scared. My DH and my parent will be going to the hospital with me and my MIL will be keeping DD Thursday night and friday and told us not to worry about coming to get her till i'm ready, even if it's not till saterday. I'm sure everything will go fine and come back that it's nothing but atleast i'll know for sure.
Thanks MrsM95

10-23-2002, 06:12 PM
MrsM, I'm so sorry you're going through this.
It's great that your doctor isn't dilly-dallying. You're going to get that darned thing out and then get on with your wonderful life. Friday seems a long way away now, but you'll soon have it all behind you. I know you're going to be okay. Keep your positive attitude, hon.
love, hugs and prayers...

10-23-2002, 06:38 PM
By the way...
could I ask for prayers/good thoughts/etc for a little boy. He's eleven, and has a large lump growing in his brain. I don't know how they're going to remove it, and if they do, what kind of damage it'll do. He's one of my sister's students, and we're so very sad...

10-23-2002, 06:52 PM
Sojo, wow, what news... I guess there's something to be said for at least knowing WHY this is happening vs. infertility with no apparent reason. Keep up your faith and hope - you know we're here for ya.

Ellis - I will definately keep your sister's student in my thoughts. It must be very frightening for him.

MrsM - You take care too. I hope all goes well with the lumpectomy. My Mom went through one (well, one on each breast) 3 years ago and it was no fun. Keep us posted and think positive!

Soozie - Your story gave me goosebumps - literally! What an amazing story, one I'm sure your daughter will love to hear over and over. One of my favorite shows is Birth Stories - I get all emotional... :lol:

Hugs to you all!


10-23-2002, 07:45 PM
:grouphug: hugs to you all! I will be thinking about all of you.

10-23-2002, 08:34 PM
Sojo, MrM, and Ellis I will be thinking and praying for you all. You will all get through this, and grow stronger because of it. Ellis that poor little guy, he must be very scared.Thinking of you all, like I do every day. I bet there isn't a day goes by that I do not discuss my online friends with my off line friends. Wishing you all the best! Take care!

10-24-2002, 12:23 AM
Mrs. M. I will be sending you prayers and healing :goodvibes, hope all goes well with your operation.

Ellis- I will be sending out prayers for that little boy too!

Sojo- sending you good fertility vibes:goodvibes hope you get some good news soon!

10-24-2002, 01:04 AM
I'll be thinking of you all and sending positive <<<healthy vibes>>>

10-24-2002, 04:29 AM
Thank you Cheez, Mauvais, Virginia, Squeak and Terri. :wave:
love you all...

Sojo and MrsM... thinking of you lots, girls... hugs and prayers...

10-24-2002, 07:37 AM
Hello everyone,
Just wanted you to know you are all in my thoughts. Ellis, I am thinking of your sisters student, sojo and Mrsm95 you are both in my thoughts. :grouphug:

10-24-2002, 08:35 AM
Thank you, Jinxii. :)

10-24-2002, 12:49 PM
Sojo, Ellis, and MrsM...sending healing prayers your way... have a great attitude!!
Terri...thanks...birth and death are such amazing things and are so spiritual and mysterious...they tie us to the earth and to each other...know wonder
you like that tv show! ...I talk like this and I'm not even a pagan...well at least not in name... :lol:
Love, Soozie

10-24-2002, 02:20 PM
Thank You everyone for your prayers and Kind thoughts. I'm trying not to let my nerves get the better of me. I hate it when i get nervous about things because i tend to eat everything i can get my hands on but i'm making an effort to eat lots of things that are good for me.

Ellis - your sisters student will be in my prayers as well.

ps - I'll try and check in as soon as i can to let you all know how i'm doing.

10-24-2002, 03:33 PM
Hang in there, MrsM. Let us know how you are when you get a chance to get back on the computer...
hugs and prayers (of course)
xoxo ellis

10-24-2002, 05:23 PM
Gee whiz! I sure wish we were all in real life so we could hug!

Prayers and good vibes to you, MrsM95, and you'd darn well better check in with us. Give yourself a break and quit fretting over food.

Ellis, I am sure you are giving your sister lots of support. When I taight grade school, I lost a Grade 2 child to a kidney disease - it was devastating. Give sis a hug for me.

Sojo, hang in there. Boy, could I tell you trying to get preggers stories! Both my kids and the dogs are adopted.

10-24-2002, 05:48 PM
Thank you Soozie , MrsM and Ruth. :)
Ruth, by the sounds of your day, YOU need a hug, too! :grouphug:

10-25-2002, 01:22 AM
Sorry to hear all the bad and sad news. I think we all need a REAL group hug right now.

Sojo, Ellis and Mrs. M......I'm sending lots of good thoughts to you all.

10-25-2002, 08:32 AM
Thank you, Den. :) MrsM, saying lots of prayers for you this morning...

10-25-2002, 07:24 PM
Thanks so much everyone for your prayers and encouragement and stories.

Lets all just take these challenges one day at a time. I'm so thankful to have a place like this to turn to for support, no matter what my latest crisis. :^:

10-26-2002, 06:24 AM
Lots of warm thoughts, prayers, and good vibes to Sojo, ellis's sister's student and MrsM95. The power of prayer is amazing. Hang on to faith, my friends.

10-26-2002, 06:47 AM
Thank you, Kat dear. I'm all for prayer. :)

10-26-2002, 10:51 AM
Geez, I'm so out of the loop!

Sorry it's late, but Mrs.M, Sojo, ellis....sending good vibes, healing thoughts and lots of hugs as needed!:grouphug:

10-26-2002, 09:38 PM
Thank you, Wildfire. :wave:

10-28-2002, 10:11 AM
Good Morning Everyone :wave:
I'm back to work this morning, no guarantees for how long (i can't work if i have to take pain pills). So far i'm doing ok, I spent most of the weekend sleeping off pain medication. Surgery went as well and could be expected. When the Dr. removed the lump he discovered it was twice as large as he had thought. They were unable to give us any indication if they lump was cancerous or not so i'm facing a week of anxiety waiting for the results. I go back to see him on Thursday so I should find out then.

DH has been wonderful and very helpful, DD has been so sweet. She comes up to me and gives me kisses and askes if they will make my Owee go away any faster. What more could a mother want.


10-28-2002, 01:13 PM
MrsM, I'm so glad you've done with that lump. We'll be thinking about you this week... I know the week will drag for you, but keep on being positive! We love you!!
And what a darling your daughter is. :)

I wonder if I could ask for prayers/thoughts for someone else...
A friend of my husband's... his partner is around 40 and she just had a heart attack. The doctors discovered that it's because she has a large lump on each lung.... one the size of a grapefruit. Her name is Monique. Thank you!

My sister's student... little boy with the lump in his brain... the doctors have decided to operate. Fairly soon, I would imagine. I'll keep you posted.

Thank you, all!!

Sojo, thinking of you, hon. Keep your chin up!!

10-28-2002, 01:25 PM
MrsM - a gentle hug so I don't squish your boob. Keep thinking positive thoughts.

Ellis, lung lumps are not good. I will put Monique into our prayer circle.

Could you also give me the name of the wee boy with the brain lump? I'll add him too.

The rest of you, pray for me as I go throught the Audit tonight!

10-28-2002, 03:35 PM
I am sending out prayers and :goodvibes for you Mrs. M, for Monique and for the little boy.

Ruth-yay! Your last audit-good luck:)

Big :grouphug: for everyone!

10-28-2002, 06:07 PM
Thank you, Ruth and Mauvais. Ruth, the little boy is named Dougie.
And I've said prayers for you and your audit. Ummm, what audit?
Is there something we don't know about you?

As Mauvais said, big :grouphug: for everyone!

10-28-2002, 10:32 PM
Mrs. M-Glad to hear the lump is out and that you are feeling well!!! I'll continue to send good thoughts your way. Hope it is benign.

Ellis-Sending good thoughts up Ottawa way too for Dougie and Monique.

Ruth-:lucky: Hope the audit goes well!!!!! just keep saying, "LAST ONE.....

I have another request for you all (GEEZ!! busy week!!) My Mom had bladder cancer more than ten years ago, and has been cancer free since. Last week they found a "polyp" which may or may not be a return of the cancer. I'll be taking her in Wednesday morning so they can remove it, so please send out lots of good thoughts for her too.

10-28-2002, 10:47 PM
Den-sending :goodvibes to your mom!

10-29-2002, 12:30 AM
Hugs and prayers for Mrs. M, Den's Mom, Dougie, Monique, and Ruth...
:grouphug: :yes: :grouphug:
Love, Soozie

10-29-2002, 07:14 AM
Sorry everyone,
I have been lurking about, and want to send my best wishes, prayers, and positive vibes to all those in need this week. Wow, there is a lot of terrible sickness in this world.
If you could also remember my friend Pam, she has a serious kidney infection and is not doing to well with it. Hopefully the antibiotic will soon kick in. She is normally a bundle of energy and gets me going, but she has just been laying around this week. The doc made her take a week off, thank goodness as she is a work aholic, and feels she just has to "get this done". It can wait! There is nothing more inportant than ones health!
So to Den's mom,Ellis's friend Dougie,MrsM, Monigue and anyone else whom I have forgotten, I will be praying for you and wishing you all well.

Love and big hugs to all


10-29-2002, 08:16 AM
Den darling, we've missed you!
I'll be saying lots of prayers for your sweet mom, and for YOU, because I know you must be really worried.
love and hugs.... :grouphug:

10-29-2002, 08:24 AM
Oh, sorry... I missed a bunch of posts...

Den, Soozie and Virginia, thank you so much for your support.
What a wonderful group we are. :)

Virginia, I'll be saying prayers for Pam. Sometimes it takes something like that to make a workaholic take some time for themselves. She must be feeling just miserable. Hugs for Pam...

10-29-2002, 04:35 PM
I was just now talking to my friend Pam and she is starting to feel better. Thank you so much for your prayers, I have been very very worried about her and it made me feel so good to know you were thinking about her too. Prayer and good thoughts are a wonderful thing. Good drugs help too! LOL
Thanks again! Will check into Weigh in site later, TOPS tonight. I was to my doc today and I weigh the same as last week, but I am fine with it, because I can really feel a difference in my muscles this week. I am sculpting this body, baby!

Lots of love to all,
P.S. Will continue to remember you all in my thoughts and prayers.

10-29-2002, 06:39 PM
My goodness! Why so many things happening at once I wonder? Bizarre...

I'm afraid I must add to the list. My Mom just told us that her mamogram came back with a suspicious spot - again. We went through this 3 years ago and she was diagnosed with benign milk duct crystalizations that were removed. The Dr.'s don't seem concerned and she's going in for a needle biopsy in a couple weeks. She said it's an itsy bitsy spot on the x-ray, even smaller than the last ones, so even if it is the worst case, it's super early - but they think given her history it's another crystalization. Times like these make me thankful to have a Mom who's healthy, fit and takes care of herself. I'll keep you posted...

To everyone being affected by the illness of someone you care about - big, huge hugs and my thoughts are with you all too!


10-29-2002, 07:02 PM
Terri, I'm adding your mom to my prayer list. Even though she's probably all right, it's still frightening waiting for the results, isn't it? Hugs for you and your mom... let us know how she is... :grouphug:

And Virginia, I'm glad that Pam is getting better. Prayers and loving thoughts are so powerful and so easy!! I think so, anyhow. :D

Den, thinking about you and your mom for tomorrow... hugs, sweetie. Try to relax...
We love you!

And MrsM, you must be anxiously awaiting your results. hugs for you too, hon! Keep us posted.

Ruth baby, how did the audit go?

10-29-2002, 09:56 PM
Hi girls,
Just wanted to say goodnight and I will remember you all in my prayers tonight. Big, warm,. caring hug to you all.

10-29-2002, 10:59 PM
:grouphug: Hugs to you all. I have been thinking about all of you and your loved ones. Too much bad is going on. That's just not right. :p


10-30-2002, 12:25 AM
More prayers and love and hugs to you!
Love, Soozie:yes: :grouphug: :yes: :grouphug: :yes:

11-01-2002, 04:47 PM
This thread is now closed and archived if anyone needs to catch up:)

There are some of the old posts on the new "Nurturing the Nuts" thread too.