Weight Loss Surgery - This may be tmi... but umm sex?
02-26-2010, 11:23 PM
So I have been dating this man for awhile that I just might be totally head over heels for. So far we have not been intimate at all, except for the over the clothes stuff. God I sounded like I was 12 there. lol
Anyway.. I am nervous/body concious about doing the deed. He is just beautiful athletic body. All muscled 6 pack abs, thighs to die for and his butt is yummy. Then there is me with all this hanging skin and fat rolls on my tummy.
Uggghhhh this is weird for me because I have always been a confident person even at my highest weight. So I am kind of freaking out. I know he will be fine with me the way I am . He knows all about the surgery etc..
02-26-2010, 11:47 PM
I think if he really cares about you it will be fine especially since he knows about your surgery it won't be a surprise. Maybe start in a dimly lit room and go at a pace your comfortable with, if he truely likes you he won't care what happens as long as he's with you. Just a thought ;)
02-27-2010, 12:05 AM
I agree with Gina.
Thighs Be Gone
02-27-2010, 12:08 AM
LOL--with the way you describe HIM I think I would be so busy looking at what he has to offer I wouldn't even care about what I was looking like!
Hehe, sorry, couldn't resist!
I agree w/the other ladies. Take it slow--do as you like when you like. No hurries and if he is the right one, no worries either!
02-27-2010, 12:26 AM
Girl you have come so far. If you have done the over the clothes thing and he knows about your surgery......you said it yourself, you know he will be fine with you the way you are. If I have have learned one thing in this body, it's that some guys really do see you for you, and all the fluff and stuff, is just fine with them. I wish you the best. I will steal the above quote if that's ok. When I read your post I hoped you saw this.
"Be who you are, say what you feel. Those who matter, don't mind. Those who mind, don't matter."
02-27-2010, 07:39 AM
He likes you for you.... you have to accept that and believe it. Enjoy ;)
02-27-2010, 10:08 AM
Thanks everyone.. It is just jitters with this new skinny body. I know this. I also know he likes me for who I am not what I weigh or what size of pants I wear. It just still takes some getting used to.
At this point I have lost 105lbs and I am 20lbs away from my goal weight, and have gone from a 22/24 to a 10/12. But sometimes I still see the fat girl. *sigh*
Thanks for letting me air my jitters.
02-27-2010, 04:46 PM
Your stats are AMAZING!! Congratulations!!!!:carrot:
02-28-2010, 05:10 AM
Ok here's my two cents....I would be honest and open about how I feel...in short sentences. hehehe Explain what you look like without clothes on, tell him your nervous about it and if he has any substance as a decent man, he will be honest and open back.
Now that said, I got back to my boyfriends place and all I said was "I don't know if you realize what you've gotten yourself into...." His reply? "I know EXACTLY what I'm in for!" and ripped my clothes off! :carrot: I love him!! hehehe We have been together now for almost a year.
Oh and invest in some nice lacey nighties that cover some of the "problem areas", it helped with my self image to make myself pretty!!!!
Relax, honey....it's all good!
02-28-2010, 05:34 AM
I agree with all of the above posters - especially that your stats are INCREDIBLE and you should be so so so proud of yourself!!
Are you guys tight? Maybe it could be as simple as letting him know how you feel when it starts to get intense. I know I would... and if he is worth your time, he will understand!
Here's my mantra after forty years of marriage. "I might be flabby, I might be jiggly but I'm GOOD!!!" Does it bother me, heck yes! Does it bother my DH, he hasn't complained, but I know he kind of likes me and I'm sure he married be for my mind! LOL!!! Just enjoy!!!!!
02-28-2010, 09:44 PM
I completely understand I am disgust with my thighs and butt being saggy. However, I have been getting in touch with myself by wearing skirts that are a little shorter to become comfortable with my new body. I have just learned to see myself as a healthy, acceptable and appropriate weight. Share with him your concerns and he should be patient and take things pretty slow. Perhaps you all can do a little game, dim light and intimate setting. You can reveal or let him reveal you slowly to allow you time to get comfortable. I say afterwards, enjoy. From his descripton it sounds like he is a wonderful sight ;)
03-01-2010, 01:50 AM
oooooo ya! A good game of strip Scrabble! hehehehe
03-01-2010, 07:45 AM
So this is what was said back to me after I aired my insecurities..
" You're the measure of all my dreams. I am not with you for what your body look likes, but for what is between your ears and the personality that comes from you. To me you are beautiful no matter what is under the clothes."
Insert your collective "awe" here.. .. I know I cried.
03-01-2010, 09:30 AM
can we clone him, Sindurella???? please??? soooo glad you two are happy together and that you found each other!!!! YAY!!!!!
03-01-2010, 09:59 AM
I know huh? Totally blew me away when he said it. .. I have been kind of emotionally turned off since my bad breakup with the ex.. David is really breaking those walls down. Don't know where this is going, but I am so happy.
03-01-2010, 11:40 AM
WOW, what a keeper. I felt the same way with my first DB after losing the weight. Um, he could of cared less. Wasn't about what my body looked like.
03-01-2010, 02:32 PM
Wow!! What an amazing resply from ur hunny! He sounds like a keeper! Its good to know that there really are good men out there :)
He sounds so wonderful!!! Congratulations on your relationship!
I'd highly recommend that you invest in some high quality lingerie. It can really be a confidence booster, and help you feel less naked - yet still sexy. Just take it slow. The first time doesn't have to be in the shower with all the lights on (er... unless you are so inclined). Your confidence and comfort level will come with time.
Also, men don't tend to see all the "flaws" that we see. They are just so glad to be there, they don't care if you have a roll here or there. In fact, it is doubtful he will even notice. ;)
Your guy sounds like a true keeper. Have fun!!
03-01-2010, 11:50 PM
Awww!!! That is so sweet!! sounds like you have a definite winner there!! Keep up the good work!!
03-03-2010, 03:38 PM
You are lucky girl! Go for it...:)
Sindurella: Just had to see what was going on with you.......YESSSSS!!!!!!
Give him a big hug from me!
03-09-2010, 06:33 PM
Sin!! Thats awesome! Get thigh highs and agarter belt he won't know what hit him!
03-10-2010, 12:36 PM
Here's my "AWWWWWWWWW" to throw into the collective!! What a guy...showin' his substance!