Some of you may be aware that about a month ago, I lost an aunt (father's side of the family.) Shortly after, my grandmother (mother's side) went into the hospital and was expected to be discharged to hospice care. She pulled through and went home with just family members caring for her.
Now she is back in the hospital after a terrible fall. Worse, her special-needs daughter, my aunt, is also hospitalized with pneumonia. She is on a ventillator, and they are preparing her for full life support. She is not expected to regain consciousness. Mammaw is aware that Barbie is also in the hospital, but she has not been told the severity of her condition. They are afraid the news would kill her, right then and there.
I don't know who is making these decisions. If I were there instead of a continent away, I might vote for letting Barbie go naturally rather than relying on machines to keep her alive, and I certainly wouldn't withhold the news from my grandmother. Barbie is her daughter, and she has the right to know. I'd want to know, if it was my daughter.
My mother predicted years ago that when one goes, they'd probably both go. I know where they are both going, but since my grandmother raised me for a good part of my childhood, and given Barbie's special needs, she has been more like a sister to me than an aunt, and I'm sad to see them go.
Please keep our family in your prayers. Thank you.
Last edited by LovebirdsFlying; 02-25-2010 at 05:05 AM.
I'm so sorry. This must be really difficult. I just lost my Grandma a week ago, who also raised me, and I am also a continent away. It is so hard to be so far away. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
These situations show why it is important to have an advance directive. Yes, I have one, not filled out and unsigned. I need to take care of this so my family fully understands my wishes.
Hugs to you, I know from experience how stressful it is, last summer my parents had major cancer surgeries in Baltimore MD a week from each other and then my step mother had a massive stroke, lasted five days in the hospital before passing away right before thanksgiving. 2009 was not a good year.
Update: According to my mother quoting the doctors, my grandmother has about six months at the most. He'll be shocked if she lives another year. She's 92, so we've been kind of expecting that. But then he also said, since she's refusing to eat or drink anything right now, it could be only days.
Barbie *might* make it, but it's not real likely. Right now she's in a medically-induced coma with machines helping her breathe. At one point they woke her up to see if she could breathe on her own. She couldn't.
I think my mother's prediction is correct. If one goes, they'll both go. I've heard of this kind of thing before; a special person like Barbie loses the parent who cares for him/her, and then follows in another six months, or couples that have been married for decades go within a short time of each other. It does look like our family is going to lose both Barbie and Mammaw soon, but we don't know exactly when.
The reason my grandmother has not been told of the severity of Barbie's condition is that she cannot mentally comprehend it. She is slipping in and out of reality, and forgets (though she's been told) that Barbie is even *in* the hospital. She keeps asking who is staying at home with Barbie, and my mother keeps reminding her that Barbie is there.
Please continue the prayers. Thank you.
Last edited by LovebirdsFlying; 02-26-2010 at 10:50 AM.
Next update: Mammaw continues to drift in and out, but made some attempts to eat breakfast this morning. She hadn't been doing that, so even 5 bites of hot cereal and half of an Ensure is a significant improvement.
Barbie is semi-conscious now but still would not be alive without the machines. Maybe my mother made the right call when Barbie coded, and she chose the ventillator rather than a do-not-rescusitate. She can't speak, but she can nod her head when asked a question. My mother arranged for a TV in her room, and asked her what time her favorite show came on. "Is it 7:00?" No response. "Is it 6:00?" Nod. So Barbie's still in there somewhere.
Mammaw most likely will not live out the year, but Barbie might pull through after all.
Last edited by LovebirdsFlying; 02-27-2010 at 10:24 PM.
Barbie is now awake enough to be issuing instructions by writing them down. Being that she *IS* mentally disabled, they are having trouble figuring out what she wants sometimes, but the point is she still KNOWS what she wants and is able to ask for it.
I will be going to see both of them tomorrow. Thanks for all the prayers, ladies.
Last edited by eratosthanes; 02-28-2010 at 06:49 PM.
Sad news: Brother just called. Barbie's condition has worsened, and today looks like it's her homecoming day. Please everyone say your prayers--not that she lingers on, but that she not be in pain and have peace. God's will be done.
Two family members in the hospital
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. 
