Finally got to have a Fat Club meeting last night (last 2 meetings have been cancelled due to weather). I was dreading hitting the scale, but ended up losing .6 lbs. I did so well the first 2 weeks - lost 12 lbs - then weigh-ins started getting cancelled so I'd use that as an excuse to eat. Old habits snuck in and I gave in to them. I've got to do something to spice this up. I'm loving the food I make, it's just kicking the fast food habit. I've done this dieting thing a million times, so obviously I need to do something different. I've tried really hard this time to drink more water, though I've not been at it long enough to notice a difference there. I need to set some small goals I think. I don't usually do that so maybe it's something I should try. Challenge myself. I was so excited about losing that 12 pounds, I don't know why I can't hold on to that excitement and use it to motivate me. I don't know what it's going to take to get me serious, I really don't. I'm a fairly non-excitable person anyway so I think I just don't react enough to make a difference in my thinking. I mean, I have fun and I laugh - a LOT - but when it comes to more serious things or needing to show emotion, I just kinda clam up. My parents used to get so aggravated because I'd open CHristmas presents or whatever and just be like, "thanks." No matter how much I loved it! It's always been really hard for me to talk about my emotions and express my feelings towards people. Maybe I've kept it to myself so long that now I'm starting to not even let myself feel it. I don't know if this makes sense. I just don't know why I can't get excited about my loss and keep going. I think I've just gotten so fat and now I have so far to go, it's like I'm buried and don't even know how to begin to dig myself out. I need some energy too, I think. I have (self-diagnosed) sleep apnea and I'm just exhausted all the time. I know I know, I need to do a sleep study. I don't like the thought of that, I'd rather just try to lose the weight and see if that helps. Unfortunately, sleep deprivation is directly related to weight gain. Vicious cycle, it is! I should probably be taking some sort of vitamin as well. I just feel really lackluster about, well, everything really. I've never been a real ambitious person as far as school and things went. I liked school and I had fun and got decent grades but I just didn't try very hard. But now I can't get very excited about much at all. It's not that I'm unhappy, I think I've just been in this poor sleep haze for so long, I don't have any energy. And I'm lazy, basically is what it boils down to. I don't want to have to work very hard for what I want and weight loss is definately work. I've gotta get motivated. I came up with this theory a long time ago that I was using food to replace other things in my life that I wanted and couldn't get. Like, I'd like to have a boyfriend but I can't just go out this minute and get one, but I can go out this minute and get a Big Mac! So why deny myself that one small pleasure when there are so many greater things I want that I can't "purchase" at the moment? It's lame I know, but it's how I feel. So help me out guys, I gotta get excited about this or I'm gonna fall over with a heart attack and it ain't gonna be from getting excited! It's gonna be from getting and staying fat!! I know I need to exercise but I just have no energy at all when I get off of work. I just wanna come home and get in my pjs and take a nap. Maybe if I make myself exercise for a week, I'll see an improvement in my energy level. I know I just need to try some things. Thanks for reading all of this, I know I'm rambly.
02-24-2010, 10:20 PM
I hope that you can get back on track and keep losing! good luck :)
02-24-2010, 10:28 PM
Forgive me for being direct, but it sounds like you need to get excited about "you" and not weight loss necessarily. Loving yourself and respecting your body and needs are not a requirement, but without them the journey is 1000X harder.
Emotions stink. They can cause us serious pain. It's amazing how much lack of pleasure we will sustain to avoid pain. "I won't go to the party, because I will be the biggest one there." "I don't want to let anyone get close to me because relationships eventually end anyway." "I am going to eat a cheeseburger rather than the veggies because losing weight means dealing with some issues I can't think about right now."
I promise that the journey of self-discovery and inflection is a very difficult one. There will be times of incredible grief and fear. You might feel nautious, cry and shake. In fact, I can almost guarantee it. But, I will tell you a secret - you can get through it. It won't kill you. Feelings eventually subside and then you get a great clarity. Thoughts make more sense. I cry. I even let other people see me do it. It's okay. It's natural and normal and everyone does it. But, I laugh too. I have a loud, infectious laugh. I never knew that before. Once you challenge the thing that's keeping you from loving your life, you realize that you can do all kinds of things. You'll feel so strong and capable. You'll feel proud of yourself. Then, it just multiplies. It spills over into other areas of your life.
Please, take the time to learn about you and how great you are. Challenge those sources of pain. Get through to the other side where all kinds of emotions are. Life is better there. Please get help if you need it on this. Seeing a therapist is a sign of strength. It can give you your life back. :hug:
02-25-2010, 12:40 AM
A) Girl, you've got to break up your posts more with paragraphs for those of us with aging eyes! :D:D:D:D:D
B) I know that feeling of not being able to get excited about new goals. But this is one goal where you have to put in the work for a while before you get the excitement. And even then, that excitement is far from constant. In those moments, days, weeks, when it's not there, you have to have a deeper reason for doing it. Like really caring about yourself, giving a damn about YOU, your health, and your life. Like truly believing you matter and are worth taking care of. That's the only thing that keeps me going when I just would rather say screw it and eat the cheeseburger.
Being an adult means doing what you know is right even when it's the last thing you want to do. For me, I indulged myself like a whiny child - giving in to every craving because it made me happy (for about 10 seconds). I've learned that I need to be my own parent sometimes and say no, sometimes yell no, to that part of me that just wants what I want. You can do that too, but it takes a conscious, consistent effort and loads of uncomfortable practice. It's so worth it though!
02-25-2010, 01:36 AM
I know what you are talking about with filling the voids with food. I have my own issues with this. We dont really need to go into my problems, but honestly, I think that we all need to talk about emotions because we can never be truly healthy without breaking down our own mental barriers (IMO). I will tell you that I see a therapist. I love having the third party to talk to about my problems. It helps alot to get it off my chest, and to slowly take the steps to regain control. And I think that this needs to happen in terms of weight loss also. I struggle so much with losing weight, but I have found that working through the emotions has been helping. Sometimes all it takes is getting out of your own head to get everything you want. And I completely understand that this is easier said than done.
I don't know if any of that made any sense at all. But I hope that my pyscho-babble helped you. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about anything. :hug:
02-25-2010, 06:04 AM
[QUOTE=CLCSC145;3171410]A) Girl, you've got to break up your posts more with paragraphs for those of us with aging eyes! :D:D:D:D:D
lol sorry! I write like I talk - straight from one subject to another, no break! My niece makes fun of me all the time because we'll be talking about something random like school and in the next breath I'm like, "OMG, have you canoed on your WII???"
02-25-2010, 06:05 AM
Oops, i didn't quote that right. How do I do that? How do I put that little snippet in that little gray box or whatever?
02-25-2010, 06:44 AM
To end a quote, type "[/quote]" at the end of it.
The thing that struck me is that you let your mind derail your efforts because the weigh-in was canceled.
We have to use our mind to lose weight--by making certain choices, planning, following through. But really, it's about the rest of the body.
The body doesn't care whether there is a weigh-in or not. It doesn't care what the scale says, it doesn't care whether it's a birthday or holiday or wedding or other special occasion. The body just does its best with whatever we put in it. Eat too much--it stores the excess as fat. Exercise--it builds muscle and increases circulation. And when we're between meals, it uses reserves for energy to keep going. So every decision we make has an effect, regardless of our justification. Am I making any sense?
So when you find yourself thinking, even unconsciously, "Well, I don't have to weigh in, that means I can eat fast food..." remember that the body doesn't care about that. And your weight loss journey isn't about contests, it's about becoming healthier.
02-25-2010, 07:06 AM
I can relate to what you're saying. Sometimes, when you're at a plateau, the motivation to eat well is just not there! What I've been doing lately is imagining how badly I'll feel after I binge, or eat in secret, or just eat junk. If I can let myself remember how lousy that feeling of failure is, I can often stop myself. Every time I do this, it increases my confidence that I CAN DO THIS!! Hope this simple idea helps you. :)
02-25-2010, 04:45 PM
Thanks for all of your feedback, guys. It's not like I don't know what I need to do, I guess I just need to hear it from someone else.
02-25-2010, 07:03 PM
Sometimes you can't "hold on to the excitement" that is when you need to get with it , and make some more.
02-25-2010, 08:49 PM
get the sleep study and if you need it use the breathing machine. sleep can be an important piece of your weight loss puzzle. If you have sleep apnea, this is not about being lazy it is a medical condition that can be treated and help you succeed in weight loss and have the energy for other goals (like finding that boyfriend)