My sister... (I love her and she's one of my best friends)... but sometimes she says something so beyond insulting to me in such a casual way that it shocks me.
This weekend I was sitting on the couch and she came and sat down on my legs and started pinching me. First I think she was doing it jokingly but then I told her to stop. She says something about how it's not her fault that she could pinch me because I have loose skin. I was like, "Loose skin?! First you insult my boobs yesterday and today I have LOOSE SKIN?!" Her response, "It wasn't yesterday. It was two days ago... And, I was joking. It's not like I told you that your boobs look like two tube socks filled with nickels."
Umm... OUCH. WOW. SHOCK.
That came so out of left field... It's not like I insulted her first and gave her a reason to be so mean to me. And the fact that she can so casually say things so hurtful and not understand why I am upset just baffled me! And trying to play it all off as a joke... give me a break!
I suppose I shouldn't be terribly shocked. She has always had a tendancy to insult my body and show no remorse over it.
Ugh, I know I shouldn't let her get to me but it really bothers me. First off, I am still too fat to have much loose skin at this point. I am sure it will get worse but I don't want to think about it until I get there. So really, can't she save the insults on that one for a few more months?? And the chest comments... I am very busty and therefore naturally not as perky and that alone makes me insecure so I really didn't need more insults there. Furthermore, this really doesn't help my situation. As it is, the idea of ever dating a man again and having him see me naked is beyond horrifying to me. If my sister of all people can notice all the things wrong with me and have no problem pointing them out, how can a guy not be revolted by the way I look? I know I am... And how can I ever even be brave enough to put myself out there and into that situation again? Ugh...
What a mess.. this surely didn't help anything. I have been struggling with staying on track and going up and down the same 8 pounds since Xmas...
erggh!! family, huh?? You say/do things to family memebers you would never DREAM of saying to a friend OR a stranger for that matter!!!
I can't offer any words of wisdom, I'd take a "shove her on the floor and pound her" approach hahahah just kidding (kinda) but I can offer something on the man comment!!! if a guy is into YOU, and wants YOU, he won't notice or may notice but won't care, about the wobbly bits - he'll just be excited to have a real live girl to be naughty with
Wow, that is crazy. I think its time for a heart to heart. And if she then refuses to understand why its not funny and not supportive....time to not hang out with her as much.
Your sister is being very cruel and you need to tell her how much she hurts you with her unkind remarks. Many people say rude, mean things and try to pass them off as a joke. I think she is doing this, saying she is joking when she is being intentionally cruel and mean.
I can't offer any words of wisdom, I'd take a "shove her on the floor and pound her" approach hahahah just kidding (kinda) but I can offer something on the man comment!!! if a guy is into YOU, and wants YOU, he won't notice or may notice but won't care, about the wobbly bits - he'll just be excited to have a real live girl to be naughty with
Haha. I like the part about having a live girl to be naughty with. Funny!
Crcossel and Bargoo... thanks for the replies. I appreciate the advice but having a heart to heart with my sister about the weight insults doesn't seem to work. She knows how I feel about it. Heck, the girl has even read what I have said about it in my diary before. (She told me about it later...) She just doesn't get it. Or, just doesn't care...
There are people who are toxic. Your sister may be one of them. If so, the best thing to do is avoidance if she continues to hurt your feelings after you have talked with her about it.
I agree with Nada. She is toxic to you and probably avoiding her would be your best option.
My new years resolution last year was to rid my life of toxic people and that included family. I got rid of the friends like that and I only interact with the family members that are like that when we are at family gatherings but I don't go out of my way to include them. It hurt at first since that basically cut out my mom, my sisters and an aunt but I'm not as stressed out as I once was
Unfortunately I live with her... and that's not about to change anytime soon. But I do get what you all are saying about trying to limit my interaction with her.
She still saying these kinds of things to you?! Good grief. When is she going to grow up. There are no excuses for her behavior. Tell her to kiss your patootie and walk-on! BTW, we women give far more consideration to our bodies than men do. Trust me. They don't really care about the little stuff that we make mountains out of. They just enjoy the lovin'!
Thanks so much for responding Rhonda... love hearing from you, as always. I think you are right, next time I should just say, "Kiss it," and walk away. I can't control seeing her everyday or even what she says to me, but I can control how I react to it. And clearly, eating junk food isn't the proper response there.
Unfortunately I live with her... and that's not about to change anytime soon. But I do get what you all are saying about trying to limit my interaction with her.
I would start making plans to change my living arrangements, I doubt if your sister will change, My gosh, she has even brought her friends into this cruelty.
I wouldn't say anything just yet, but start making plans as to how you can bring about a change in living arrangements.
You would not accept this kind of verbal abuse from a boyfriend and you shouldn't have to accept it from your own family--the very people who are supposed to lift you up and make you feel good about yourself.
Wow! That was harsh... Even for my sister.
