Calorie Counters - Had the "chat" w/ DH
02-22-2010, 10:56 AM
So in the last 4 years I've completely turned my health/fitness/nutrition around made the biggest changes since the beginning of this year.
DH on the other has had horrific eating habits and no exercising whatsoever for the last 12 yrs. We're talking 5-7 cokes a day, fast food 5xs a week, etc., etc. His weight isn't too bad because he only eats 2xs a day, but I'm terrified his going to have a heart attack or get diabeties before he's 40. He's already been perscribed meds for cholesterol.
My other main concern is teaching my our 18 month old good habits. It's going to be pretty hard as he gets older to say do as I say not as I do.
Things are hard for us right now, our schedules with work are really crazy so it's difficult for me to cook for the both of us right now (we're working on that and hope it will get better as the economy bounces back and our schedules normalize).
In the mean time he's agreed to limit his coke intake to 1 a day and replace the rest w/ water, G2 and crystal light. Also to limit his fast food to burger joints 1x a week and then go to Panda Express for Chicken/Veggies and steamed rice and Subway type places for the rest. He is able to eat at home 3xs a week and those days I cook for him.
This is probably the best we can do for now until our schedules normalize and I've lost my last 30-40 lbs and can start a maitenance plan that I can adapt to my family, but do you all have any other suggestions?
02-22-2010, 02:03 PM
It's good that you gave him some suggestions if he's interested. Honestly, though, he has to want to change and if he does then he has to find what works for him.
I've tried giving my husband advice many times, but really he has to come to a lifestyle change on his own terms, just like I did. It's been a couple years since I started my changes and he's finally starting to come around.
It's good he's trying to just cut back instead of going cold turkey. Sometimes that deprevation can really turn people off. Baby steps can be very helpful.
Good luck to both of you.
02-22-2010, 08:09 PM
My bf sounds exactly like your husband. Dr Pepper ALL day long, fast food every day for lunch, frozen pizza for dinner... yet he's not really that big, a little overweight maybe. I worry about his health, and he's only 31!
He has said he wants to start eating healthier, but he doesn't really know how. He thinks all he'll be able to have is "nasty vegetables," but I'm trying to teach him it doesn't have to be all or nothing.
I'm trying to slowly make changes that won't freak him out. About 6 monthes ago I "accidentally" bought a bottle of DIET Dr Pepper. He choked it down, and it actually grew on him, now I buy it all the time.
One day we were talking about ways to save money and I showed him his latest Arby's receipt. Over 8 bucks for lunch, every day! I started making him turkey sandwiches with really good fancy bread that he likes, and sending them to work with him with baked chips. i make these the night before and put it in his superman lunch box so he can grab it outta the fridge in the morning and go :) All that bread wouldn't be good for MY diet, but for him it's a great step in the right direction.
Sounds like your DH has started to make compromises, that's great news.
02-22-2010, 11:44 PM
ugh my DH is the same way and he isn't even 30 yet. I worry about his health all the time.
He mostly drinks only cherry coke or nestea all day long every now and then he might drink milk but he won't touch water or diet!
His food is aweful :( He never eats breakfast, often doesn't eat lunch. And his meals are usually a bag of chips or a can of raviolis sometimes straight from the can! When he eats like a sandwich it is usually ham or roastbeef piled high and then more mayo then anything else lol He likes soups alot but I worry about all the sodium in them when that is all he eats. Sometimes he would even get frozen chinese food items that have more sodium then you should have all day and then some lol
He also works at a restaurant where he gets free meals. So that sucks.
I am trying to turn things in a better direction. One I am trying to learn how to cook so I can make meals for him so that he doesn't eat just chips for dinner lol. It is still tough. Like he refused to eat wheat bread at all! But then I made him grilled cheese with it and he ate 3 of them and loved it lol But yet still if I try to get him to eat it allthe time he wont. He can't eat poultry because he has an allergy. And I am not a big meat eater except for poultry lol He hates fruit. But he is ok with some veggies so that isn't bad.
I try to get him to eat some new things and to try healthier options. When I am cooking meals I switch things up to healthier alternatives, low fat, etc... I also add veggies and stuff. The most difficult part is trying to get him to give up soda because it is just such empty wasteful calories and junk :( And also trying to get him to watch his portions.
It is tough. I know how it feels to be like that and how I would have died and been angry if anyone had tried to tell me what to do (or even offer suggestions lol) but it does concern me too and our someday kids. His health is important to me. At the same time only he can make the right choices :(
I think just trying to get healthier options in there and then even if he makes bad unhealthy choices often he is still better off then before. Every small bit helps.
02-27-2010, 11:36 AM
I get worried about my BF as well, sometimes.
But one question to you ladies... why does it seem like YOU have to cook for your hubby, YOU have to make his lunches and YOU have to tell him where to get his meals from in order for him to eat healthy... they're old enough to do that on their own, no? It's not complicated to make a sandwich for your lunch...
My BF seems like he would be healthier than I am, he'd been playing hockey and riding BMX competitively since he was 5. But he's 27 now and stopped riding or playing when he was 20. He works a physical job, but literally doesn't drink anything else than soda/bottled iced tea or Gatorade (i have never seen him drink water in 3 years), and eats pizza or at Wendys every day for lunch. Only when he comes home would he be eating healthy, but since I started counting calories and watching what I eat, he just eats take away most days.
Te difference is I refuse to cook for him if we're going to have different meals. I don't see why I should have to. He works the same number of hours as I do, so why couldn't he cook for us every other day, or cook his own meal? If I'm not going to be eating what he wants to eat, why would I make it? Just so he eats healthy?
If he wants to change I say let him do it. Being born male doesn't mean you're missing a gene that knows how to handle a pan and a spoon...
I worry about him, and I hope he doesn't end up with serious health issues. He's a chain smoker as well. But quite frankly, if he doesn't want to help himself and doesn't even take the time and effort to cook himself a healthy meal at home and would rather eat junk, then he's not ready for a lifestyle change yet.
02-27-2010, 05:07 PM
I cook for him because if I didn't he would eat this crap all the time. Not to mention it is just not financially feasible for us to be buying two sets of groceries. I tell him where to eat or should I say I suggest to him where to eat because he does not know how to eat healthy, he was not raised that way and now that I have become educated through my own weight loss journey on how to do it right I feel like I should share that information with my family. I'm not going to sit there and ask him at the end of the day what he had for lunch and give him a time out if he went to McDonald's, you're right he's an adult; however, when comes to the his health and being there for me and my son when he's 50, 60, etc. and not in the ground because he died of a heart attack at 45, I'm sorry I'm going to step in and make some suggestions. And they are just that suggestions, I'm not going to nag him or force him to do anything, but I'm also not going to allow myself or him to perpetuate this society's obesity epidemic with my son by teaching him these awful habits. So yes, I am going to cook for him and yes I do feel like it's my job. Sorry for being defensive and snarky, but everyday I drive by the local elementary school on the way home and about 50% of the kids there are over weight and it just breaks my heart. I want to help break the cycle and I don't want to do it by making my son or DH feel guitly for eating an occassional burger but by helping them want to make the right decisions enjoy LIFE in moderation.