What's the pay off? Why do I continue this unhealty, unhappy lifestyle? Why when I hate what I have become do I not do anything about it. As far as my life in general goes I am happier than I have ever been. I am enjoying my teenagers, I'm not as overwelmed as I seemed to be when they were younger. My husband and I are closer than we have ever been. We are traveling more that in our earlier years. We go on occasional business trips with his company and I DREAD them so much. My constant thoughts, are alway on - I'm the fattest one here. We are also traveling to Disney annually for my daughters dance competitions and I am so ashamed of myself. & I'm sure my kids are too. I let them think that I don't want to ride the roller coasters but its really because i'm affraid I can't fit in the seats. So why can I not keep myself motivated to exercise and keep myself from stuffing food into this big fat mouth of mine.
I would love to be outgoing and confident in front of my husbands business associates.
I would love to play with my kids, and not be an embarassement to them.
I would love to make love with wild abandon, not in the dark of night.
I would love to have some self-respect!
08-27-2002, 10:01 PM
Hello, Jagmom! Hope you find the support you're seeking here on 3FC. It's a great group of people and lots of fun challenges and discussions are going on related to our common ground of weight issues. Please join in and feel better. Best of luck on your journey. :)
08-27-2002, 10:59 PM
I rarely go into other threads to read but I saw this one today and thought the title was interesting . I wondered what this post was really about. I know about "not wanting" to get on a ride, or sit somewhere. Wonder how many people actually stare at me while I ate my plate of " Tour of Italy" which was a plate of lasagna,fettucini alfredo and spaghetti & meatballs.
Eating late at night alone, never daring to look myself in the mirror. Buying bigger and bigger clothes and living in denial for a few years. My kids are small and I hated being one of the heaviest moms at school. Some of the kids have poked fun at them cause their mom is FAT. I wondered many times why did I choose to keep doing this to myself? I had a choice of not stuffing my face or stuffing my face. How could I hate so much what I was doing to myself and yet sit there and keep eating? There is no easy way to get control over this. The honest truth is I just woke up one day and said " NO MORE" sounds so cliche , I know. It's so easy not to do anything about it. You cant wish you had more will power, or stay deppressed cause you cant do this. Ask yourself " Has there ever been an obstacle in my life which I refused to be beaten?" If there has ever been a time when someone has refused something to your child , know that you will move mountains for your family if you had to! It's no different, you deserve this more than anyone. I tried every monday to diet, to exercise. But within 2 days , Iwas eating pizza or chinese food. Noone forced the food in my mouth. I was unhappy. I dont know how but I started walking every morning for about 20 min a day, then the following week 35 min, 45 min. I didnt go on an extreme diet, I just switched a lot of ingredients for lowfat or fatfree . I started eating fruits anddrank more water. The pounds didnt just melt off , I was losing about 1-2 lbs a week. I added more minutes to my walk and finally after 3 months of walking I was walking 90 min a day. Sounds totally insane and impossible! I stopped taking naps, I woke up early and stayed awake during the day. Something I was never able to do. I dont know how heavy you are but I am a very short girl at 5'3" and was at 194 lbs and wearing size 18 stretch. So I was probably bigger.
Today I am at 137 ,almost at my goal weight of 130 lbs.
I do have my favorite foods at least 1-2 times a week like , ribs, chicken wings, Mcdonalds. But in moderation. I wont eat 12 ribs anymore! But I will have 2-3 ribs,baked potato,salad and 1/2 cup coleslaw with light mayo. I didnt pay for any special program I just read a lot on the internet. Walking has been the best thing for me .
I wanted proof of my weightloss so I took a before picture. When I saw it I was in denial again, I thought I must have stretched the picture? I had a lump in my throat because here was reality.
Here are my pics. There is NO diet pill,no magical program,no special will power that you need to do this. You HAVE to want this, you HAVE to do this .
BEFORE : Feb 2002
Current Picture: Aug 2002
I dont wish you luck cause that's for the lottery , but I pray for your success.
Take care and dont let this beat you.
"If you want your dreams to come true,wake up"
08-28-2002, 12:56 PM
Thank you both for the support. I know I have to do this. I am even concidering surgery, but I don't want to go that drastic, but i know that i have let years go by at this weight 5'3" 240 and i don't want to wake up in five more years and add those to my WAISTED years. I have thought about weight 24/7 for so long. I'm tired of it controlling me. If I'm not dieting I'm thinking about what I'm going to eat next and if I am dieting I'm thinkiing about what I'm going to eat next. I sick of it being my obsession. I'm truly sorry for the attitude, can you tell I'm pmsing. Again thank you for the support. And by the way I was wanting that tour of italy place for lunch! Gen thanks for the pictures you look great. I've thought about doing that because I don't think I ever realize how bad I look until I see pictures. Maybe if I take a brfore and maybe an after when i loose about 20 lbs it will give me the visual incentitive to keep going.
08-28-2002, 09:57 PM
Jagmom!!! :) Don't be sorry about your attitude, it is fine! I know how you feel, as much as anyone can know how anyone feels! My highest weight ever recorded was 247 ... I'd lost to 142 (approx.) and now am 164 and my ultimate goal is 135. To me, though, weight loss and maintenance have become a game ... I guess that's how I deal with the 24/7 aspect of it, because truly, that's the basic truth of it ... weight loss/maintenance takes lots and lots of dedication and it goes on and on forever!!! :strong: It's easier if we just accept that, well, that's the hand we've been dealt and decide on a course of action and have fun with it ... easier said than done sometimes, but it's a fun challenge, really!!! :cb:
If you haven't chosen a group here yet, why not join our 21-day challenge or 5-pound challenge? Or any group here or elsewhere on the forum. Posting here has helped me a lot and the support and fun are really great!!
At any rate, again, I do wish you luck!!! Can't hurt! :cb:
08-29-2002, 12:35 AM
Jagmom, I know surgery is just a thought but let me tell you it takes much more will power and dedication after you have this surgery. My sister just had this surgery 2 months ago and it hasnt been easy at all. For 5 weeks straight she was on liquids only . I thought " who wouldnt lose weight this way!?" Now that's she's trying foods to see which foods she can handle. She's thrown up many times already. diarreah is another problem. And she is one of the lucky ones! SO many patients are so thrilled that they are losing weight that, throwing up,diarreah,cramps....are ok to have just as long as they lose 8 lbs or more per week! A friend of ours just had this surgery 5 weeks ago and she is in the hospital for the 3rd time, she needed a blood transfusion,she has blood clots in her legs that she could barely walk. And she's lost about 60 lbs in only 5 weeks. She is regretting the surgery every moment now. You can do this. I'm not special in anyway. Before , I could remember waking up first thing in the morning my first thought was that I was gonna have pancakes,eggs,ham,bacon,toast and coffee. It's a constant battle but I dont spend the whole day thinking about food anymore.I think 3FC is a great place to get support. Anyone who's overweight can relate to 99% of things mentioned here,including me.
Take it one day at a time. It's like riding a bike, you will learn and get used to your new eating habits. Make new recipes. I hate a plain salad with yucky lemon and a dry chicken breast on the side. That is what most people think of when they hear the word diet! IF you see what I eat , you will question me! lol I make cheese burgers for lunch with a bag of chips and crystal light. Now the burger is a ground turkey lean burger, cheese is fatfree, and fatfree WOW lays chips with a few pickles on the side.( Cheese & Sourcream chips) I have BBQ all the time but I choose the leanest part of chicken(breast) take the skin off. Side salad with Just2Good dressing, baked fries and 1/3 cup of mixed veggies.
I have lunch with my sisterinlaw sometimes and she always questioned " IS that diet?, it doesnt look like diet?" I would eat 2 hotdogs,2 breads,chips,pickles and juice. All that totaled less than 250 calories and believe it or not 1.5 fatgrams only. It tasted good and I was honestly FULL!!! Fatfree oscar meyer hotdogs 50 cal each,2 light wheat breads 90 cal Both, chips 70 calories ... well you get the idea lol. I love the Wendy's grilled chicken sandwhich, no mayo, I will have half of a small fry order and diet coke. Thats only if I have no choice and have to eat a fastfood place.
Well ,please stay here and post as often as you like. I also have a thread which are 4 week challenges. I prefer to say Iwant to lose 3 lbs in a month then to have to say I need to lose 60Lbs. Small goals are easier on you and more realistic. I did this every month and I personally thought that I wouldnt lose more than 15 lbs. But its been 57 lbs later and I'm still here.
My thread is called " If you want to make your dreams come true,wake up" It's in the support section.
take care, (HUGS)