South Beach Diet - cupcakes and other mistakes

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02-18-2010, 11:52 AM
I am posting this to make myself accountable... I had a cupcake yesterday! I made them for my son's birthday and couldn't help myself. Man was it good, but I felt like crap afterward! I think I will have to stick with store bought cakes for birthdays. Not to say I am a great baker or anything, but I do love my homemade cakes. LOL

And this morning I had errands to run and didn't have time for breakfast before leaving the house. I needed my coffee so I stopped at dunkin donuts for breakfast. I got the egg white flatbread sandwich and threw out the top slice of bread. Now I just checked the nutrition info and it doesn't look like the flatbread is SB legal. Not a good start to my day!

I am down a little less than a pound from last week, but these little slips are worrying me. Valentines day was the start of it- my daughter made treats for me at school and I took a bite to make her happy. I'm debating going back to Ph 1, but I haven't decided yet. I can't say if my problem is cravings, or just bad timing. (V-day and birthdays) Most of the time, I have no trouble passing up the bad stuff. What would you all do?

02-18-2010, 12:04 PM
If it were me, I'd forgive and forget.. meaning.. forgive myself for the less than fabulous choices and forget about it. Go back to the good choices that you were making two days ago and move on.

Andi M
02-18-2010, 12:12 PM
I did the same thing on Valentines Day I cheated but I made a deal with myself that I would have this one night to eat "normally" and then get back on plan the next day. I think as long as you keep getting back on track that's what counts.

02-18-2010, 12:35 PM
It's really mental for me. I sometimes like to feel like I am on a diet and "punish" myself or make up for a mistake so I'd do Ph1 for a day for each cheat then move on. I know, it's morbid but it helps me hold myself accountable.

Oh and I also drink EXTRA water (a real punishment! :lol3:) for every cheat too. LOL.

But if it's not sparking cravings for you and it's "your not mental like me" then I'd say move on and happy clean eating!

02-18-2010, 01:23 PM
Okay, an advanced warning, I am definitely a hard a** when it comes to this issue so engage the grain of salt approach when reading ;) and this isn't aimed at any one person, just something that has been on my mind with all the new folks passing through.

I think we need to seriously look at our cheats and off plan choices. How often are they happening? There is always an excuse to eat something off plan - it's always a holiday (I worked in child care and trust me, there really is always a holiday!),an unplanned meal, a gathering that includes food, cookies in the office... If you need an excuse there will always be one. I don't think it's reasonable to say I will never eat another cookie, sushi, etc but I do think that long term success only comes from honestly evaluating what, when and why then making changes. I've seen so many people come through this Forum who find themselves frequently having a bite here, a piece of pie there because they can't refuse. It is sadly easy to predict that many of them will disappear after awhile. You have to be ready to make serious changes for any weight loss program to work long term. If we could continue doing what we had always done and lose and maintain a loss we would all have done that already. On the other hand excessive guilt doesn't burn nearly enough calories to be worth it ;) So no, I don't think beating yourself up is any more helpful than making excuses.

If you want long term change you have to make long term changes. Eating something off plan once in awhile should really be once in a very long while, planned and adjusted for, and only something you know won't trigger you. Mine is my mother's homemade cookies at Christmas. I eat one of each variety that she makes from scratch. That way I get to try them and don't feel deprived but there is a guideline that keeps me from going off the range. I also never eat anything from a mix because a) it's not worth the calories and b) high fructose corn syrup will send me around the bend in a big way. And, honestly I did not eat anything off plan from 10/1 when I started until the end of May when we went on vacation. I needed that structure for that long to really get it set in my brain. My brain, sadly, still thinks it wants simple carbs sometimes so I need to stick to the framework pretty strictly.

I don't want to sound like I'm beating people up because that is not my intention. I also don't want to pat anyone, myself included, on the back for getting back on track every other day. As always YMMV (have to do that just for Jenn) but this is what has worked for me. The one time I didn't follow that rule the current 8 lb hip expansion showed up. I, like everyone else, constantly need to be reminded ;)

02-18-2010, 02:31 PM
I have to say that I agree with Cyndi. I am a yo-yo dieter. I think I have finally learned my own food truth - really, truly I would rather be thin and healthy and in control of food than have a piece of candy. Someday I may be able to do both but I know I am not there yet. I think this is a personal journey and everyone is different but I honestly believe that for many who struggle with staying OP, it is the little cheats that make it harder.

My advice... if you slip up once, move on, keep going. If you slip up three times, I'd go back on PH1 since you have not been doing this that long.

Kind of like me telling my kids to learn from my experience... I will share. Last summer I was at my goal weight thanks to SB. I slipped. I got back on PH2 and thought I had the cravings under control. I slipped. Repeat. I once or twice did PH1 for a day or two but again, thought I had it under control. I slowly gained back quite a bit of weight and could have just kicked myself. I knew I really needed to go back to 2 weeks on PH1 but there was a holiday or special event so I put it off.

Like Cyndi - I feel like a bit of a hard a** with saying this but I just want to save anyone else gaining back like I did.

02-18-2010, 03:06 PM
Awww Cyndi :hug:

I can't agree more and am glad I came back here to read this. I am craving big time right now (may have been the latte this morning) and am at the turning point: my office is right outside the conference room where the meeting is being held: code for where the brownies and cookies are. I just called DW for some support (I saw some ice cream last night I wanted but stayed strong, and didn't get it so I started craving that) but you just gave me the kick in the arse I needed.

So thanks on behalf of me and everyone else within reach of a cookie!

02-18-2010, 03:15 PM
Cyndi and Karen,
Maybe sometimes what we need is a hard a**. You ladies gave everyone a hit of reality. Maybe i'm treating this like too much of a "diet" with some sort of an endpoint. I should be treating it as more of a WOE that will stay with me for long after i'm at goal. So for me, your posts have made me i want excuses or do i want results? I want results and to be healthy way more than i want a slip up or planned cheat. Thanks.

02-18-2010, 03:46 PM
Maybe i'm treating this like too much of a "diet" with some sort of an endpoint. I should be treating it as more of a WOE that will stay with me for long after i'm at goal. So for me, your posts have made me i want excuses or do i want results? I want results and to be healthy way more than i want a slip up or planned cheat. Thanks.

Anyone can diet, but I believe that unless you treat it as a WOE, it will just be a matter of time until the weight comes back. When I went to meet my personal trainer and told him I had lost a substantial amount of weight he looked me in the eye and said that 80% of people who lose weight gain it back, and what was I going to do to be different.

What Cyndi said, is true, about how many come and go. I started in May 09, and with the exception of the seasoned gals, Heidi (Oct 09) is the beacher here who's stayed the longest. The pattern of eating more and more off plan is pretty evident with those who don't stick around.

My first "planned cheat" was at least 3 months in-I wanted a few Sweet Potato Fries with the knitters and I came here and asked first; most said be careful, probably ok, but something Chelby said let me decide not to partake-and I didn't. I think the biggest issue with one cookie here, and another slice of pie there and a bite of mashed potatoes and gravy, is that it just escalates. The cravings return and without the rigid structure of calorie counting, it finally just blows right out the door.. I'm on Phase 2 until I get to goal, and even then I'm not at normal weight :shrug:. I do think that the cheats prevent us from moving towards goal, but just my opinion....and when I stop moving towards goal, disappointment sets in and finally I throw in the towel. I don't want that this time.

Kslosingit, I think accountability is great, and I found as a newcomer here that this forum included a recipe for success. If I wanted to eat off plan stuff, I could switch to calorie counting, and it wouldn't matter-but I really enjoy the freedom and flexibility and lack of cravings that I've been given by following SBD. Remember how great you feel OP and strive forward.

02-18-2010, 04:03 PM
Thanks everyone! You guys have given me lots to think about. I think I am comfortable staying in phase 2 at this point. Besides the 1/2 flatbread, I have done well today, even with the leftover cupcakes glaring at me all day. I'm not at all tempted by them, partly because just the thought of the way I felt after eating it is enough to deter me, and partly because I really am content with what I CAN eat. (as I tell my kids, I don't skip on the cookie etc... because I "can't" eat it, but because I choose not to) I think if I went back to phase 1 it might make me feel more like I am on a "diet" than trying to make this a lifestyle change and that might be counterproductive.

02-18-2010, 04:25 PM
Great thread girls! Definitely has given me lots to think about. To the OP, I'm really glad you are having a good day after the breakfast slip up :). Maybe make a trip to the store and plan a clean, on plan day for tomorrow.

I know I chose SB BECAUSE of Phase 1 and that it was more rigid. I had been dieting for well over a year and not making progress because I would cheat every single day and physically craved chocolate daily. I always try to remind myself that in the world we live in, if I desperately want something unhealthy it is just a car trip away. I'm not looking at the last cookie, cannoli, cupcake or chocolate bar that will ever be made and I can pass this one up and move on.

02-18-2010, 07:55 PM
I also think it would be helpful to always have the cabinets stocked with foods you can eat as much as you'd like (not like peanut butter because the amount is limited), but like ff refried beans, salsa, green beans, cucumbers, peppers, laughing cow cheese.

Today I planned out a great menu and posted it in the on plan thread, but my bf called to say he'd be home late for dinner. I was hungry, so i combined some green beans, salsa, and ff refried beans. It was yummy and i was full and i stayed on plan.

02-19-2010, 06:35 PM
And just so you all know I'm human and have the same conversations with myself, today I skidded off into a really stupid food choice. Knew it was stupid when I did it and did it anyway. I've been chafing at the limitations a bit lately and know that's an issue. I was also very pissed off at the BFH (who is still a PIA after I ate the unmentionable). That doesn't make me one bit smarter though.

I'll spare you the food porn but what I ate is very likely to cause cravings so first thing is no grains for a week. For m any grain is just going to reinforce that craving. More important I need to spend a little time with my list, Why I Want to Lose Weight/Stay Healthy and reacquaint myself with my own priorities. Then I need to buck up and take my own advice. Tonight I'll have 1 serving of home made egg foo yung and a bowl of vegetable soup (also homemade and virtually no calories). I envy people who can make a change and not backslide with cravings and binges. For me the battle does not have any end in sight, but it is so worth it to win.

Hello Nurse
02-19-2010, 07:21 PM
I feel like I just got my a** kicked...I know, I know, it was not directed to me, but I am one of those who probably needed to hear it the most! I am grateful for the a** kicking! :) I needed to hear those things today, after a long stressful week and before a fun-filled weekend when I need to make sure I don't have a little too much fun!

After my recent indescretions, I went back to my phase 1.5, which is basically p1 with only apples and berries added back. I am down 2 lbs this week and feeling good about being back on track and staying there!

Thank you Cyndi et all for having the courage to say what needs to be said!

02-20-2010, 06:59 AM
I've said it before...I think most of the "battle" is mindset. Just get it in your mind that "This is the way I eat and I don't eat poison". Don't ever think of youself as being on a diet. You just eat healthy! If you think of things that your formally ate as "treats", then you feel deprived. If you think of them as poison for your body, then they are just icky globby stuff that will eventually give you a disease. I teach school and there is always something at school in the teacher's lounge that is being offered that I consider poison. I see other people stuffing their faces with stuff I know is going to kill them in the long run and eating stuff at lunch that is going to block their arteries. After a while you will see it that way too.

Since I met my goal a couple of years ago, I have on occasion (during the holidays) eaten a bite a no-no and I find that the longer I I eat this way, the less good "goodies" taste. Just keep plugging away and soon this woe will be normal and the old way will be a bad memory.

02-20-2010, 07:40 AM
Cat - I think it really depends on our individual life experiences with food. I started gaining when I was 7. I yo yoed for years, lost a lot and regained with friends. I've dealt with bulimia, binge eating and compulsive overeating. For me a battle is the right mindset. I can't just think myself healthy and make it all better. I wish I could! I have periods when that works and then periods when it doesn't.

I think it's great that you have an approach that works so well for you. For me the path is different because the history and body chemistry are very different.

02-20-2010, 08:26 AM
I like the kick in the a** mentality. It's true that if you cheat you won't lose. I don't know why that is so hard to understand. When I was on WW I would cheat and not lose and get bitter, but I was eating so much crap my cravings were out of control and as long as I could fit it into my points I was ok - supposedly. It's much easier for me to feel comfortable with my choices on SB, because I need the direction and structure.

02-20-2010, 09:18 AM
Cyndi, 100% true...we all have to pull from our own "bag of tricks" and learn what works for us.

02-20-2010, 08:30 PM
I like the kick in the a** mentality. It's true that if you cheat you won't lose. I don't know why that is so hard to understand. When I was on WW I would cheat and not lose and get bitter, but I was eating so much crap my cravings were out of control and as long as I could fit it into my points I was ok - supposedly. It's much easier for me to feel comfortable with my choices on SB, because I need the direction and structure.

I was so bad on WW and definitely need some structure too!

02-20-2010, 08:49 PM
Bad night last night led me to bad food choice for dinner despite a load of SBD friendly foods in the fridge. Back on the horse today so yay. No cravings!!!

We *are* all human Cyn ;)

02-20-2010, 10:39 PM
I agree with many of the other posters -- life happens...the only real issue is if one slip-up snowballs into falling completely off the wagon...and then eating the wagon.

I feel like I've been on a diet my entire life, back and forth. There's always the feeling of accomplishment when I lose weight and then the sadness and inevitable feelings of guilt when I regain the weight. I'm hoping that this time, I can catch the backslide if/when it happens. But I am the eternal optimist...

02-21-2010, 10:19 AM
I absolutely love the metaphor of eating the wagon. It made me laugh. I agree if you have a bad day or moment or meal, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again. And don't eat the

02-21-2010, 10:41 AM
LOL @ eating the wagon.

As for me, I have been back on the wagon since my cupcake incident with no cravings! Yay! I SO did not want to have to go back to Ph1.

02-21-2010, 10:46 AM
Cat - been thinking about your post in terms of self talk and the messages I give myself. It's clear I need to work on those again.

Someone in another forum had a great description of cravings, wish I had bookmarked it so I could credit her. She was talking about cereal and said, you eat the first bowl, then the first bowl eats the second bowl and on and on. That is such a perfect description and why following SBD principles really does make a difference.

thanks everyone for a great discussion

02-21-2010, 11:07 AM
As for me, I have been back on the wagon since my cupcake incident with no cravings! Yay! I SO did not want to have to go back to Ph1.

Yay, KS! I find it is so much easier to keep my hands out of the proverbial cookie jar and just stay on Phase 2. Keep truckin'!