100 lb. Club - Do you ever still doubt?




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time2lose
02-16-2010, 10:54 AM
One of my biggest obstacles to losing weight was my belief that I could not lose a huge amount of weight. It was not doable, simply not possible at my size and my age with hypothyroidism. I initially got past this doubt by not looking at the big picture. I believed that I could lose 10 or 20 pounds so I tackled those pounds. Then 10 more pounds and 10 more pounds, etc. After losing 50 pounds, which I would not have dreamed possible, I started focusing on 5 pounds, just lose 5 more pounds. :goodvibes

Probably the most important thing that I have learned here at 3FC is that it is possible to lose large amounts of weight. :yes: Many of you have done it. Eighteen months ago I did not think that losing 85 pounds was achievable but I have done it! :dizzy:

Now I am standing on the threshold of onderland and am trying to peak inside. I have no doubt that I will get below 200 for the first time in over 30 years. I am losing so slowly that it may take awhile but I will get there. However, I do have doubts that I can get to my "no longer obese" goal of 163 and to get to a "normal" weight of 135 certainly seems far fetched. Maybe I just don't have that good of an imagination or maybe I have a little devil sitting on my shoulder. :devil:

Don't take me wrong, I am not discouraged or about to give up. Actually the opposite of that. I have created eating and exercise habits that are sustainable indefinitely. I am confident that if nothing else, I can maintain my current weight loss and lose at least a few more pounds. My life is already so greatly improved that I certainly don't want to go back to my old life. I often think of a post that Lori Bell made recently, "Don't give up this time. Keep on going. If you can't walk, crawl. It is worth every amount of effort you put into it." I am going to keep going whether I am running, walking, or crawling.

Sometimes though, I just wonder. Am I at the only one that doubts or, just can't imagine, getting to a "normal" weight? :dunno:


aerotigergirl
02-16-2010, 11:10 AM
:hug:

I'm so glad you said this, because I feel exactly the same way. I have a really hard time believing that I can physically change my body into something that isn't overweight. I can't imagine myself being "thin" or "normal" or a size 6. I wish I could, I wish I knew how to tell you to convince yourself it's possible.

It seems to me that being able to convince yourself it is possible is a really big step. I mean, if you're working hard at losing weight, but all the while in the back of your mind your goal is really impossible to reach, it almost feels like you're setting yourself up to fail. So, I realize it's important to KNOW beyond all doubt that my goal is possible. I just don't know how to convince myself of it. I'm very fearful about this, actually. I don't want my efforts to be in vain. I don't want to set myself up for failure. But I've been fat for so long, I don't know how to think of myself any other way. :?:

I'd love to hear advice about this from folks who've had the same problem and have figured it out!

club
02-16-2010, 11:14 AM
I don't think that you are alone. Everyone has their doubts about loosing weight, it is scary. But you have proved to yourself that you can do it. Just keep reminding yourself of how far you have already came. I loose slowly as well, which gets frustrating and discouraging, I think that sometimes it can make the doubt feel greater, but just remember it will eventually come off if you keep working at it. If you have to crawl, crawl, sometimes when you are down and feel like you can't do it, doing just half of what you have been is enough for that day!! Hey I bet crawling actually burns more calories than walking.. haha

Don't give up.. You can do it!!


thistoo
02-16-2010, 11:19 AM
I doubt my ability to lose 100 pounds all the time. All the time! Mainly because I've been stuck in the 150s for so long, and I only saw 95 pounds lost for one glorious day back in October. I keep bouncing between the 'obese' and 'overweight' line (153 lbs.) so I have trouble believing I'll ever get to 'normal' (128 lbs.) but man, do I ever hope I can. The only way I'll know is to keep trying and see what my body does, I guess.

anny1974
02-16-2010, 11:32 AM
Wow here I was thinking I was the only one that felt this way... There is no way I can loose 100lbs. And last year I proved myself that. I started back in September 2008 and all I was telling myself is you can do it loose that 100lbs and did great until last march and it got to be too much and I couldn't see the end of the 100lb. So I gained 20 lbs back and got to be discourage again about my weight my clothes got tight and some I couldn't wear again. But I am back on the wagon now since january 4th and I have a new look I am only looking at loosing 5 lbs at a time. The way I see it now is that I can't loose 100lbs but I can sure loose 5lbs 20 times. So hope this change of mind sticks with me but so far so good. And I am so happy and makes me feel better when I hear that i am not the only one feeling this way.

Lori Bell
02-16-2010, 11:34 AM
NEVER did I doubt I could lose my excess weight. Even when I was wallowing around in self pity at 333 pounds, I always knew I COULD do it, if I would just do it. The day I finally committed it was just a matter of time before I reached my goal. Now I have committed to maintain my goal...and I have no doubt I can keep it off, but only if I WORK for it....and today I am working much harder at it than I was on Sunday...lol ;)

thistoo
02-16-2010, 11:36 AM
Wow here I was thinking I was the only one that felt this way... There is no way I can loose 100lbs. And last year I proved myself that. I started back in September 2008 and all I was telling myself is you can do it loose that 100lbs and did great until last march and it got to be too much and I couldn't see the end of the 100lb. So I gained 20 lbs back and got to be discourage again about my weight my clothes got tight and some I couldn't wear again. But I am back on the wagon now since january 4th and I have a new look I am only looking at loosing 5 lbs at a time. The way I see it now is that I can't loose 100lbs but I can sure loose 5lbs 20 times. So hope this change of mind sticks with me but so far so good. And I am so happy and makes me feel better when I hear that i am not the only one feeling this way.

Sometimes I think about resetting my ticker with my current weight as my starting weight, and setting my goal at five pounds down. I don't have a clue if it would help, and I don't do it because I know it's encouraging for newbies to see tickers of people who *have* lost substantial amounts of weight, but still. I wonder if I could trick my brain into thinking I was starting at the very beginning and that all I have to do is lose five measly pounds. Piece of cake! I suppose I should try it some time and see.

caryesings
02-16-2010, 11:49 AM
It took this month's weigh in to truly convince myself I'm going to make my 100 lb. loss goal. I've exuded confidence to any who've asked that I am going to make it, but secretly I keep expecting the numbers to stop dropping.

Now the interesting thing is I'm totally confident that I'll be able to maintain the loss despite statistics about regained weight. I am going to be one of those people who beats the odds. I know it. After all, even my doctor has been amazed a woman of my age (50) and size is taking all of this weight off on my own plan. But because it is my own plan, there won't be anything to stop. I expect that at some point the calories will match the new body size and the loss will just stop. We shall see.

cathydoe
02-16-2010, 11:55 AM
For me it's not if I can loose the weight...if I can keep it off. That scares me a lot...to loose this weight and then have it come back! I really try to focus on what I am doing today I will need to do forever. I know forever is a long time. I also know that what I do today I may not be doing next week (like sitting here drinking a diet dew). What I mean is...I will NEVER go back to eating what I want when I want a.k.a. grazing! You know, I don't know if I have even looked at the big picture, can I loose this weight? Can I do this? Hummmm do I need to look at that?

time2lose
02-16-2010, 11:56 AM
Don't take me wrong, I am not about to give up. Looking at those 5 pound goals works well for me and I celebrate each and everyone of them. I am close enough to losing 100 pounds that I can picture myself there. Maybe I should not have used the word "doubt"; maybe it is just that I can not picture myself at 135 or 165. I was in college the last time I weighed in that range and here I am a grandma now. Maybe it is like driving in the fog when you can only see a short distance ahead of you. Maybe I will just have to get there to be able to see myself. :) maybe, maybe, maybe - It is kind of exciting to wonder about the future!

Beverlyjoy
02-16-2010, 11:57 AM
Forever it seems that losing 100 pounds was a daunting task that I could never do. That looking at the long term goal just made it seem impossible. For me, I must take it in five pound mini goals - just as it as always said under my ticker. I will move forward in this journey - day by day. But, I DO believe it can happen.

nelie
02-16-2010, 11:59 AM
Normal weight? I'm not sure how I'd define that. Do I expect I'll ever be a size 8 or less? Not really. Do I think I could be a size 10 or 12? Sure. It is one of the reasons that even though I've struggled a lot in the past couple years, I am not discouraged. I just need to figure out the right mix for me to get further down.

time2lose
02-16-2010, 12:01 PM
For me it's not if I can loose the weight...if I can keep it off. That scares me a lot...to loose this weight and then have it come back! I really try to focus on what I am doing today I will need to do forever. I know forever is a long time.
Exactly how I felt at the beginning! It drove my attitude that I would do only those things that I thought I could do forever. I started with 1800 calories/day because I didn't think that I could eat only 1200/day (my doctor's recommendation). Over time I have dropped to a daily average of 1350 and feel confident that I can stay there. So I guess that my "what I can do forever" is changing.

calluna
02-16-2010, 12:07 PM
I'm another who is wary and worried about maintenance. Part of me wants to wait until I get there and just take on a new challenge. I have also thought about taking a break of several months when I reach my intermediate goal of 169 to practice maintenance. Then tackle the remaining pounds...

I haven't decided yet, but it is certainly on my mind.

Mariella
02-16-2010, 12:15 PM
I don't know if I can lose 100 pounds - or even the 80 pounds I've set as a goal.

But - I do know that I can stay on plan and eat the maintenance calories of a 160 pound woman and let whatever happens from there, happen. That is how I got started. Just deciding to do that much and let the results happen.

Beverlyjoy - I have loved seeing your signature since I joined the forum. "I can't lose 100 pounds....but, just maybe I can lose five pounds twenty times." Yes yes yes. Exactly. Thank you for having this in your signature so we can be reminded every time you post.




timetolose: maybe it is just that I can not picture myself at 135 or 165. I was in college the last time I weighed in that range and here I am a grandma now. Maybe it is like driving in the fog when you can only see a short distance ahead of you. Maybe I will just have to get there to be able to see myself. maybe, maybe, maybe - It is kind of exciting to wonder about the future!



Yes, exciting and mystifying! One of the things I love about the 3fc forum is that there are so many great role models here of all ages, to help me visualize my success!

ANewCreation
02-16-2010, 12:24 PM
I'm so glad you posted this. I love the responses. I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes because you have nailed it for me. I have moments where I am scared-- scared I can't lose anymore, scared I won't maintain, scared I will put it all plus more back on.

Don't get me wrong. I think I have sustainable plans. More often than not, I feel good about what's going on. But it is nice to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way every now and then.

Glory87
02-16-2010, 12:48 PM
It took me awhile to accept I could be a truly slender person.

When I started at 200 lbs, my goal was to lose 50 lbs and weigh 150. That seemed reasonable and doable.

When I reached 150, the weight was still coming off steadily and I wasn't 100% happy with how I looked.

Imagine my surprise when I ended up at 130! All my life, I had thought I was a big girl, big boned, with a bad metabolism, a history of family obesity - just destined to be a big, fat girl. At 5'7", I always felt built like a linebacker, an amazon woman.

When the fat started to melt off, I discovered I had the exact same body shape as my tiny, 115 lb mother. The same little ribcage, the same legs, the same narrow shoulders, visible collarbones, tiny wrists and petite ankles.

It was such a surprise, my entire mental picture had to be rebuilt with my new reality.

I am small. I would never have dreamed it.

Glory87
02-16-2010, 12:54 PM
I'm another who is wary and worried about maintenance. Part of me wants to wait until I get there and just take on a new challenge. I have also thought about taking a break of several months when I reach my intermediate goal of 169 to practice maintenance. Then tackle the remaining pounds....

Please feel free to join us in the Maintainer's Forum at any time!

CLCSC145
02-16-2010, 01:16 PM
I was at my goal weight for about 5 minutes 10 years ago. So I can't say that I can't see myself getting there. What I can't visualize is living there long term. Logically I know there is no reason why I can't if I set my mind to it. But creating the image in my mind and holding on to it has proved difficult. And it's pure fear, I know. I've got such a deeply ingrained image of me being the fat girl and I need to recreate myself in my mind.

kaplods
02-16-2010, 01:21 PM
All of my life I've focused on the end result when dieting, measuring my progress by how close to goal I was getting.

As a result, maintaining the loss I already had managed was always still "failing" if I wasn't moving closer to the ultimate goal. I felt like a failure more often than a success.

When I was 13, and weighed 225 lbs my doctor prescribed an amphetemine diet pill. By junior year I wasn't taking the diet pill any longer (they'd stopped working long before) and was struggling just to maintain my weight loss (I'd gotten to 155 lbs, and my goal was 150). I was yoyoing around that 150, and my doctor decided to change my goal weight to 140. I suspect he thought it would "motivate" me. It had the opposite effect, I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. I was now 15 lbs "further" from my goal rather than just 5. Not only did the new goal seem impossible, because I measured success only by how close I wasw to goal, I didn't see any way for me to succeed. I was only 16 or 17, so I didn't have the maturity to look at the success I'd already accomplished. I saw only my failure and the likelihood (it seemed) that I would never see success.

I kick myself even today (because I was a very smart kid. My IQ measured at Mensa level, for Gosh sake) that I wasn't smart enough to decide that regardless of what the doctor said 155 was worth maintaining even if I never reached 140 or even 150.

I didn't learn my lesson until THIS attempt, that every pound loss was a success. I don't have to worry about whether I will eventually lose all the weight I would like to. Every pound lost is a success - no matter how long it's taken me to achieve . Another mind game I find a hard habit to break, is thinking that my weight loss doesn't "count" as much as someone whose losing those pounds quickly. If the message wasn't coming only from myself it would be bad enough, but I get the same harsh message loud and clear from many outside sources (family, friends, other dieters, acquaintences, doctors, magazines, books, television) - only fast weight loss is admirable weight loss.

Most people don't find a loss of 5 lbs (especially when you start with more than 250 to lose), very impressive (even to those who have never done it themselves). I think everyone assumes "well anyone could do that," and losing the 5 lbs is easy, it's maintaining it that is a lot harder, and most dieters don't do that. If you know the statistics, maintaining a 5 lb loss for 4 years is VERY impressive.

I impress the heck out of myself when I realize that I've gone 6 years without a significant gain; that I've maintained a 20 lbs loss for about 4 years; a 50 lb loss for about 2 years, and an 80 lb loss for several months.

My husband and I are just starting to get a little respect from our families about our weight loss, because we've each lost about 80 lbs now. Though we have family members on both side who keep pushing us towards gastric bypass surgery because "it would be so much quicker," even though we've explained every time the reasons our doctors have discouraged us from the surgery.

"Oh I'm sure you could find a doctor willing to do the surgery," we're told. They don't get that we agree with our doctors that the risks outweigh the benefits of the surgery for us. We do not believe that being fat is worse than being dead.

My mental state has much improved since I've chosen to focus on how far I've come, rather than how far I have left to go (and when or whether I'll get there).

I don't have to have confidence in the next 275 lbs, only the next one. And on days when I don't have confidence in the next pound, I can have confidence in maintaining the loss I've already achieved. Even on my worst day, I do have confidence that I can maintain the loss I've already achieved. I realize that's something I never had before. I never looked or thought to maintenance, only loss. Now my prime focus is maintenance and further weight loss is a side benefit (but each pound I've lost, hasn't yet shaken my confidence that I can maintain that loss too).

I don't know where I'll end the weight loss, and it really doesn't matter. I only have to be confident in the current and next pound. If I focus on that, everything else will fall into place without my worrying about it.

eclipse
02-16-2010, 01:31 PM
Wow here I was thinking I was the only one that felt this way... There is no way I can loose 100lbs. And last year I proved myself that. I started back in September 2008 and all I was telling myself is you can do it loose that 100lbs and did great until last march and it got to be too much and I couldn't see the end of the 100lb. So I gained 20 lbs back and got to be discourage again about my weight my clothes got tight and some I couldn't wear again. But I am back on the wagon now since january 4th and I have a new look I am only looking at loosing 5 lbs at a time. The way I see it now is that I can't loose 100lbs but I can sure loose 5lbs 20 times. So hope this change of mind sticks with me but so far so good. And I am so happy and makes me feel better when I hear that i am not the only one feeling this way.

I think this is such an important way to look at it. Most of us have yoyo dieted. Most of us are REALLY GOOD, experts even, at losing 5, 10, or 20 lbs. Most of us have done it over and over and over. I've lost 20 lbs at least 5 times before - I've just gained it back (and more!) in between. I know I can lose 100 lbs because I've done it before - just not all at the same time. So, that's a good way for me not to worry about the weight loss. There's no doubt I can do it - I've done it. I have nothing to prove in that regard. I need to start looking ahead and thinking about maintenance. I've got a lot of time to think about it, which is good, because it deserves a lot of attention. I read on the maintainers forum all the time to see what struggles they're dealing with so I can get my head around what I'm going to be dealing with. I'm trying to think ahead to what other fitness/health goals I can focus on when the weight itself is gone - because I get a rush right now when the scale drops, and I won't be getting that rush anymore when the I'm at goal.

H8cake
02-16-2010, 02:29 PM
I never believed I could lose as much as I have. I thought getting to 150 would be amazing. It was, but once I got there I just kept doing the same thing and I kept dropping. Once I hit 165 the weight loss slowed way down. I just kept doing the same things I had before and let the weight settle where it would. I still have a hard time seeing myself as normal size. A friend referred to me as "very small" in conversation, not long ago. She said it in a matter of fact way, but it really struck me that she thinks of me that way. It's a lot to wrap your mind around while you are losing, not knowing where you will end up. It continues after the weight is gone, but I'm getting used to it ;) Don't worry too much, just keep plugging away. I'm 45 and it was slower than it is for some of the younger ones, but it is still very doable.

ubergirl
02-16-2010, 02:36 PM
Now I am standing on the threshold of onderland and am trying to peak inside. I have no doubt that I will get below 200 for the first time in over 30 years. I am losing so slowly that it may take awhile but I will get there. However, I do have doubts that I can get to my "no longer obese" goal of 163 and to get to a "normal" weight of 135 certainly seems far fetched. Maybe I just don't have that good of an imagination or maybe I have a little devil sitting on my shoulder. :devil:

Oh yes! This is exactly how I feel!

I feel like I have to fight for every pound now, and so I can't imagine what it will be like when my BMI is down into the overweight range.

On the other hand, I've just gotten to the point of getting down out of plus sizes.... I'm just a shade too big for normal sizes, but plus sizes are almost too big, and so shopping in normal stores makes me aware of how big I am all over again, but it also makes me feel like the best size to be would be some normal size, like a 12. So, never say never.

I'm NOT afraid I'm going to give up. I feel like I'm just convalescing from a LONG ILLNESS. Morbid obesity absolutely sucks.

annie175
02-16-2010, 02:53 PM
Good for you Cheryl...I am so proud of you and your attitude. Keep on doing what you are doing, you WILL get there.

ChrissyBean
02-16-2010, 03:43 PM
I'm pretty discouraged right now. I feel like I'm going to be stuck here forever; I can't even seem to lose a pound a week, and that's with daily exercise, a healthy diet, and supportive husband. I'm so much slimmer than I *was*, but I have so far to go still. I saw some Before pictures two nights ago. In fact, they were "the" pictures that made me decide to lose the weight in the first place. Maybe I should print them out and do something special with them for my low moments...

salsa chip
02-16-2010, 03:56 PM
I'm doubting right now. I'm beginning to think I don't ever see onederland.

eratosthanes
02-16-2010, 04:18 PM
When I got to 208 three years ago I still thought I was hugely fat. Even though I dated some very good-looking guys, I was convinced they went out with me because I have a "good" personality, and could not see that they were attracted to me physically as well.

In fact, although lack of necessary meds was a factor, one man being NOTICEABLY physically attracted to me (he was married, very hot, and my neighbor, plus I was friends with his wife) started the first binges that resulted in my current weight today. I gained back ALL of the weight. Every single pound. I think now that I had a psychological hang-up about the 200 mark. I was convinced that no one could be attracted to me until I got there, and having some unwanted attention made it all to clear how close my goal was.

The situation was not helped by my bf, who, having lost 70 lbs. himself, made many disparaging remarks about men and women who were the sizes I had been previously on my journey down. Now, being this weight, and having him still attracted to me has been reassuring. It sucks that I had to put back on my fat-shelter (I feel safer if I don't have too much male attention, yet get depressed if I don't get SOME!?) to know that I am okay at any weight, but here it is, and hopefully I will not have the same problems this time.

Mikayla
02-16-2010, 06:38 PM
I feel like may never reach my goal all the time. However I have no idea why I feel this way. My weight loss has been steady and it really hasn't slowed. But sometimes getting to goal still seems impossible. I think it's mainly because I've never been small, and for me being "small" just seems impossible.


I know IT IS possible, I know it is. I can't wait to believe it!

LovebirdsFlying
02-16-2010, 07:07 PM
I'm currently stalled at 260, but I know that this is because I haven't been sticking to plan as well as I could. I usually stall at 240 no matter what I do, so yes, I can get pretty discouraged. I'm hoping to pass that mark this time, and show myself I can do it.

Eliana
02-16-2010, 07:13 PM
My mini goals help me get over this fear. I even set my ticker for whatever mini goal I'm currently working on. So right now, I'm full force heading for 199. Once I reach that, I'll move on to the next one.

I don't doubt that I can maintain it at all. There's no room in brain for that fear. ;) I have enough fears without that one. I definitely doubt myself often, but I've found that every day gets easier as I realize that what I am doing is not that hard. I can sustain this and I must in order to maintain what I've already lost. That's so key for me. Just like Kaplods, I never thought anything less than goal was worth maintaining. Now I get it. I GET IT!

katkitten
02-16-2010, 09:02 PM
i like the analogy of driving in the fog! or scuba diving in the ocean too. =0)

i'm trying to stay in the moment so fears about maintaining havent crept in....yet....but I always stop losing and give up around 245 or so. I think, until I break into the 230s, I will still feel that small amount of doubt.

PeanutsMom704
02-16-2010, 10:09 PM
I like having 2 tickers. Maybe I should say I NEED 2 tickers? I don't keep a ticker for it, but I do think in terms of each five pounds, and I love getting to change my little birdie avatar.

And then there is my immediate goal. At first, I sat and calcuated all sorts of different mini-goals that I could list, but ultimately, I decided to stick with each 10%. And of course, there is a built in reward that every time, the amount to get to 10% goes down. Last time, it was 25.5 and I did that. But this time, it's only 23. I *know* I can do that, because of what I've already done. So that's why I keep the long term goal on there too - I need the reminder that I really have come a long way already.

I wonder all the time if I can really lose 100 pounds, but I try not to THINK about it, if that makes any sense at all. Right now, I just need to lose 20.5 more pounds. What happens after that is something I try not to think about right now.

time2lose
02-17-2010, 08:10 AM
Thank you everyone for replying. It doesn't sound like I am alone in feeling this way. I am going to continue looking at my 5 pound goals. That sounds like it is working for several of us. I don't have to be able to picture myself at 135 or 163 pounds. I just have to keep going and see what I look like when I get there!