[partypantalones]

i feel sad because i feel like my body is a giant obstacle between me and the men (man) i want to get closer to.

that being said, im also kinda pissed off! i know i've got a ways to go, and i know i've slacked off mucho the past few wks, but holy eff, i wear an 8 or a 10 (in grown up women's clothes not juniors ) and i honestly DO think i look good a lot of the time.

i hate feeling like i'm not good enough, thin enough, hot enough. and THEN i think maybe i'm just making this up anyway...maybe it's not that i'm "too fat" maybe it's that IT just isn't right...

it's just super discouraging. like i will never be there. and even if i am there on the scale there is NO guarantee (duh) that anything will materialize romantically.

i feel so sad and so stupid for feeling sad and layer on a little stress over what a mind game i'm playing with myself and my fear that i'm going to come completely unravelled, and im just ahhh...don't know what to do.

right now im thinking something like: stop thinking about him. stop thinking you can change your life and somehow change the situation with him. BUT do go for it. go for gold and run your heart out and stay on plan and get healthy and get well. but i guess i just feel discouraged. and verging on the --what's this all worth anyway-- kinda feeling...

i don't know what im looking for in terms of advice or help or anything, but maybe it's just good for me to put this out there... so, hello universe. you got any wisdom for me?

[Frosted Cupcake]

I wish I had wisdom to share, but all I can do is tell you: I can relate. It's easy to imagine that your body is the "problem" that's keeping you from the man (or partner) that you want, or that it's putting distance between you and the partner that you're already with. But I can say from experience, it's a matter of your attitude about yourself. The good news is, it sounds like you're really on your way to feeling great about yourself!! That is AWESOME, and keep it up! It really is about attitude, not about size -- when I got down to the thinnest and fittest I'd been in the whole time I'd been seeing my bf of 3 1/2 years, he left me. My body was amazing, but I couldn't even see it, and had just as little confidence as I did before I got into better shape. Don't make my mistakes Love yourself now, and keep motivated to stay healthy and happy, and your love life will fall into place.

[Iconised Ghost]

I would say try not to think of your weight loss as the solution to all your problems- it might be, as you said, its simply not right with that person. I dont know what the situation is at the moment, but if he doesnt see your value as a person now i doubt that he will see it 1, 10, 30, 100 pounds from now. If YOU think you look good, then THATS whats important, not what some guy thinks of you or what you are worth

[junebug41]

Originally Posted by partypantalones

BUT do go for it. go for gold and run your heart out and stay on plan and get healthy and get well.

All you can do is what you can do and the bolded above is what you can do!

You can lose all the weight in the world, you can get a new body, you can win the lottery and there still are no guarantees.. to anything.

Man, have I been there. And all I've come up with is "I can do what I can do", which at times is helpful and other times useless

But you sure aren't alone Hold up your head and get back to getting well!

[mescelestus]

I was in this same situation from last march until just recently...If you think it is your weight keeping you from the man you want (not in your mind, but in his; as in he doesn't like "full figured" women) Then eff him, not worth your time or worry. I was "in love" with this guy for a year...and he just didn't want me for whatever reason...I know it really hurts, but you can't go upsetting yourself and wasting what could be happy days being sad about a man. People have to like/love you for who you are..and right away..not where you wait for them to "come around". I hope that helped.

[Jess7286]

You shouldn't change your body for a guy. You should change your body for YOU. To make YOU better. A guy worth keeping will be supportive of you and tell you you're an amazing woman no matter what you weigh on the scale. And the guys that can't appreciate you, next them. They're really not worth the emotional investment. Bigger, better things will come

[megphilly]

*hugs* I've definitely been there before. It was painful and in the end only did me more harm than good, I know that now. Don't change for him. Change for you. Change because it'll improve your life!

[partypantalones]

ahhhh thank you so much ladies. posting that last night i felt ridiculous, but still so desperate to speak. so thank you for your sweetness!

you are all so right (of course you are!), and knowing that i am so not the only one who has ever held these confused feelings makes me feel much less out of my head.

so...staying committed, staying motivated. remembering the blessings of this life and that sad times come and go, but that my happiness and my heart and my life are MINE to make full and healthy.

you guys are amazing! thank you.

[megphilly]

remembering the blessings of this life and that sad times come and go, but that my happiness and my heart and my life are MINE to make full and healthy.

SO, SO true. And no need to feel ridiculous. Any female has been there. Men screw with your head sometimes! lol.

Honestly, if a guy sees you only for your body and not who you are, they are SO not worth your time!!

I've been up and down the scale...180-130, and no matter what weight I was at, I could pick apart any part of me. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 and a half years, and no matter what size I am he loves me for who I am...but there is that part of me in the back of my head that is waiting for him to run off to some gorgeous skinny girl (I've told him this too and he thinks I'm insane).

So don't worry about the guy! Focus on yourself! If you feel bangin', then that's all that matters!