I haven't posted in awhile, but still here... this is a bit long, but I need to share.
I was doing rather well until about 3 weeks ago when I had a rather bad food allergy. My face was swollen for a week, it burned and itched, my lips split, and I utterly felt miserable from the inside out. My doctor put me on steriods with other meds to finally kick the allergy. I was craving junk food BADLY.... and I caved. I had pizza and wings two nights in a row, plus a pack of chocolate over the course of the week. Plus I missed the gym for a week as I didn't want to be anywhere with my face looking as it did. I could have exercised at home, but I didn't. It was just an awful week overall looking back on it. I should have reached out for support: here, with friends, anywhere, but I didn't. I don't recall "caring" at all about my weight that week. I just wanted to eat, eat, eat.
It's been a bit of a struggle getting back on track after that. It was very disheartening how quickly my motivation went out the window, even though I want this so badly. Last week I had both my car and my computer broke down on me with costly repair bills and my focus on the gym and my diet started slipping again.
This weekend I finally got back on track and got around to something I wanted to start months ago. I signed up for a personal trainer. I've had two sessions with her already and absolutely love her. I never knew where my physical limits where exactly until I started working with her, but more importantly, she's helping me understand my strengths too. After feeling miserable and a little out of control, it's really the best thing I needed, even though I didn't realize it. Now I have an even bigger driving force in my life, and I'm excited to see how far this takes me...
I just wanted to share because this community meant a lot to me when I signed up to these forums. You guys are so inspiring. I just needed to post this. It's easier to post my vulnerabilities when I'm feeling strong, and it's also an acknowledgment that this isn't always easy... but I can always pick myself up again and keep going.