100 lb. Club - I fell ALREADY?!?




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SwimGirl
02-07-2010, 09:19 PM
I was having SUCH a great day! I got up early, had a great breakfast, packed myself a nice snack for my 4 hour shift at work... and then disaster! I was supposed to work 10-2pm, with my bf working 10-6:30pm, so I had planned to come home and do some prep work for my class tomorrow. Well it's been snowing like crazy, and no plows coming by.. so I decided I'd just finish my prep work at work. But I got SO caught up in what I was doing I didn't get anything for lunch. By the time we got home all the grocery stores were closed, so we ordered pizza. :( Today was day 7 of being back on plan and counting calories.

I don't get myself.. I think I want it SO bad, yet I can't seem to *really* commit myself to this. :?: It's SO frustrating!! And I wish I knew what I was missing to get myself to stay on track...

On the plus side.. I have already packed up a healthy, calorie controlled lunch, and snacks!

-Aimee


choirgirlhotel
02-07-2010, 09:26 PM
I know what you mean!!!! Yesterday I had plans to go out to dinner with my friend. Beforehand I vehemently/steadfastly texted her "I'm having no appetizers, no dessert, strictly salad and a glass of wine when we go out to dinner".

What did I do?
Had appetizers, salad, a glass of wine AND dessert. *sigh* Went home and just drank water and felt sorry for myself.

~CGH~

Nash
02-07-2010, 09:26 PM
Hey Aimee,

You and i have been on this for a while, I fell into a similar situation as you. It's always been a roller coaster for me and i fell off it pretty hard last fall - by the time december came around i kept trying to kick start my self but kept screwing it up. I would stay on track for a day or two and then do something to mess it up.

Then in January I saw an ad for a local Biggest Loser Competition and joined and it's been great. It's different then anything I have tried before, and I am really enjoying it.

Maybe switching it up will help?

P


(I had never realized you were from WPG when we chatted before - I grew up there)


Megan33
02-07-2010, 09:36 PM
I hear that! I lost six pounds in the last 2 weeks...was doing well all day today, then superbowl treats came out and I kind of went a little nuts. But **** happens, I will do better tomorrow and get my butt on that treadmill. Don't beat yourself up about it, what's done is done and move on.
Tomorrow is another chance to make the right choices.

dietcokehead98
02-07-2010, 09:37 PM
Dust off and move along! It happens to EVERYONE-and if they say it doesn't, well-la dee daaa! :)

astrophe
02-07-2010, 09:39 PM
Consider replacing the idea of "I blew it! I wasn't perfect!" with "I don't have to be perfect. I just have have to hit good enough."

And consider replacing the "I cannot commit because I can't be perfect on plan!" idea that is rigid with a more flexible "I don't have to be perfect on plan, but I can commit to my health and fitness. I roll with the punches, can't keep me down!"

(I mean this friendly, not stern. :) )

I just wrote about this in my intro post elsewhere but I view it like school.

As a student, one poor grade on some quiz doesn't mean your school GPA is ruined forever and you won't graduate at all. You study, you try harder next time... but the main thing... you keep on going to school the next day. Some days are great, some are not... but you still go.

It's the same with this. Just dust yourself off, make notes for coping when life throws this experience at you again (and it will!) and just get back to it.

Maybe think about adapting the pizza meal (2 slices cheese & salad next time)... or think about some other delivery or take out option (chinese?) that works better for you. Or keep something on hand to battle it -- even can soup! If you habitually get involved at work, keep a can of soup and a can opener in your desk so you aren't skipping a meal and then having trouble at the next.

You can do this! :carrot:

A.

SwimGirl
02-07-2010, 09:45 PM
Well, I decided to calculate my calories anyways, and because I barely ate this afternoon I only ended up being over my calorie intake by 234. Makes me feel a very tiny bit better.. Still, don't want to do THAT again!

CGH - I totally just downed a liter of water, not too sure what spurred that.. how did you make out today? I am hoping to hear it was a little bump and you are feeling SO committed and ON plan! ;)

Nash - Living in Winnipeg is a new thing for me! The bf and I moved from Vancouver in July to work here for 3 years, we plan to head back to the mild temperatures as soon as the contract is up! I lived here as a kid, it can be a very fun city! A challenge is a good idea, I've peaked in on a few trying to decide what/if I want to join. Maybe I'll take the plunge!

Megan - I made sure to bring all my foods for tomorrow, so that'll help. And I'll make the bf throw out ALL the leftovers!

astrophe - I love the school analogy! I hated almost every minute of school, and yet I passed, so it really makes sense to me. I always just figured that if it wasn't perfect, well, it wasn't good enough. Perfectionist parents!

I am feeling MUCH better, thanks everyone for the replies! :)

-Aimee

winning the war
02-07-2010, 09:45 PM
Aimee, it sounds like you have it under control already! Good job! Remember, nobody became obese because they ate pizza one night. We become obese because we repeatedly overeat crappy food. You've already corrected for tomorrow, so kudos to you for having accountability and taking action to prevent another slip-up tomorrow!

kaplods
02-07-2010, 09:50 PM
I have always had a very hard time sticking to my food plan (and recently my food journaling). I can't even tell you how many times I've read or been told that slips mean a person isn't ready or isn't committed to losing weight.

Hogwash.

If food slips (even some big ones) are "failing," then I'm failing. In fact, I've failed more days than I've succeeded, and yet I've managed to fail off 80 lbs.

I've never succeeded through failure so much in my life. All the other times I lost weight in my life, I was perfect until I couldn't be. I was either entirely on plan, or entirely off - there was no middle ground. Staying on plan was like holding my breath - I could do it for a short time, but eventually I had to gulp for air.

Progress over perfection. You don't have to be perfect, you only have to do better. If you can only be a little better, progress is going to be slow. For me, it's been very slow, but that's ok with me. I don't mind losing weight this way. It doesn't feel like I'm working very hard, because I'm not (Over decades of dieting, I'm burnt out on fast changes. I just don't have the will or patience to be perfect, even for a short time). But I must be doing something right, because this may be the slowest weight loss I've ever accomplished, but it's already been the longest lasting by many folds (I've never gone even one year without regaining, let alone the four that it's been).

Idealmuse
02-07-2010, 10:46 PM
Eh, I think you handled it well. You figured out the calories. I don't think there is anything wrong with including some treats now and then. You can still be ON plan if you're mindful of everything else you do that day. Hah, but maybe I'm just saying that cause I had pizza too today... but I also know what my calories are today, worked out, and it's all good. Tomorrow is another day to make more nutritious choices.

cfmama
02-07-2010, 10:49 PM
Listen to Kaplods. Progress over perfection. Get BACK ON THAT HORSE and have a better day tomorrow!!!

LouisaH
02-07-2010, 11:07 PM
This is the practice for the rest of your life! Even after you've lost all the extra weight, you will be maintaining it, and you are not always going to be "on plan" because life is supposed to be fun and enjoyable. You allow yourself indulgences, and you even it out with extra exercise and fewer calories another time.

You'll lose the weight more quickly, with more motivation and enjoyment if you don't think of these days as failures, just as another day you have to work harder for later. Always count those calories though, because as you noticed, it may not be as bad as you thought, or if it is, you know how many fewer calories you need to eat over the next week to even it out.

Way to be ready for tomorrow--you already know how to do it!

marigrace
02-08-2010, 06:18 AM
No problem, just keep going ! To win a war you might have to lose a few battles. When you ask yourself the hows and whys you can make it positive, and find ways to fine tune what happens in the future. For instance...being more prepared... have some meals ready in the freezer for times when the unexpected occurs...or taking a break from work for a five minutes to have a healthy snack...It is all about taking care of yourself.

rockinrobin
02-08-2010, 07:01 AM
I don't know, I guess I'm one who thinks why settle for better when we can have BEST?? I had wasted enough time sitting on the sidelines AND I was fearful for my life. When I made the decision to lose the weight, I made the decision to lose the weight NOW. Not in the future, not down the road, not someday, not tomorrow. I had tomorrow-ed away decades of my life already. I was done settling and I wanted to be the very best me possible.

I think we've got to go BETTER than our best, because our current best just may not be good enough. This is about doing what is required. What is necessary. You’ve got to do BETTER then your best. Doing your best at this point is simply not going to cut it. You have to go ABOVE your best. This is about pushing yourself, elevating yourself to a new level. Going beyond what you know. You must create a NEW best. You have to step outside your comfort zone and yes, be a little uncomfortable - for the time being.

If I had told myself that it was "okay" to just do my best, well, I wouldn't have gotten very far. I wouldn’t have attempted, stayed with and successfully mastered things that were downright unpleasant, such as: counting calories, food journaling, completely banning many food items, setting up a healthy household, the constant cooking, shopping and chopping, planning my meals in advance, packing foods and taking them with me, staying on plan through social events & stress, daily exercise, muscle training… I would have been giving myself permission to stay with what was familiar and known and never ventured into that new arena.

It is a little scary stepping into those untested waters, but once you're in there and you allow (actually force) yourself to stay in there - firmly- regardless of comfort, regardless of circumstance, you've got to hold onto the fact that there is a pay off and it will eventually become comfortable. And it does. You’ve raised the bar & created a new best.

You cannot remain stagnant. If you don't step outside that comfort zone, if you don’t try new things, if you don't strive to do BETTER then your best, how do you reach new heights? How do you improve upon yourself? How do you learn? How do you grow?

Your best gets BETTER. Stretch. Reach. Push yourself and push yourself and suddenly what was once impossible becomes possible! Aim low, you get low. Aim high, you get high. Raise your standards. You then elevate yourself to meet the challenge. Ask any successful athlete, any successful business person, any successful student, any successful housewife, any successful – any one or any thing.

This is about going beyond what you think you are capable of, so that you discover what you truly ARE capable of.

Sorry Aimee, I digressed a bit here. I don't think your day was blown either. Perfection is definitely not a requirement to lose weight, thankfully!

Set yourself up for success by being prepared always and by always remembering what you want the most. You CAN do this. :)

SoulSurvivor
02-08-2010, 07:59 AM
Hey hun,

Look like someone else said we all slip up at times... I think it's just part of the process of changing. I mean one thing I've learnt about changing my eating habits is the organisation that's involved in upkeeping new habits. The minute something comes out of nowhere you end up reaching to the most 'normal' thing you used to do. But hey, look its a one off, this doesn't mean anything unless you don't get back on plan. I think the thing most of us do is, slip up and then say hey forget it ive already messed up I'll keep eating this way. But you won't do that, you want this more than enough and you will definitely get there!!!
Good luck and stay strong
xxx

Lori Bell
02-08-2010, 09:19 AM
By the time we got home all the grocery stores were closed, so we ordered pizza.

No snow plows, all grocery stores shut down, but low and behold, that pizza delivery guy some how makes it out in a blizzard. Funny how that works! ;)

dragonwoman64
02-08-2010, 09:25 AM
well, you know me, Aimee, I'm the slow plodder, slips up, gets back on track, slips up, back on track. life throws me fast balls, and they always seem to be different fastballs, and I'm figuring out how to handle them with the diet and exercise and coping without turning to food.

it makes sense to me that in changing and learning there are ups and downs, so it's a little misleading to think of it as "falling already", you know? It's more like, ok, that happened, why did it and how do I handle it better in the future.

weight loss is a funny process, so many aspects to it. I feel like the more I learn, the less I know, ha. but if you keep plugging at it, you'll find the right combination of things for you, I'm sure of that.

ubergirl
02-08-2010, 09:47 AM
You know, Aimee, it pains me to hear you say that you are failing.

Failing is not looking at the situation, not doing anything, just pretending it doesn't exist. If you don't show up to the starting line, there's no way you can finish the race.

If I've learned ONE thing on my journey, it's something that I've heard a lot of other 3FCers say....and it's that the most important thing is what you do after the slip-up.

We eat at least three times a day every single day. It's simply not possible to be absolutely perfect all the time.

On the other hand, when you are trying to lose big amounts of weight, like a hundred pounds or more, like we all are, then we have to think in LONG amounts of time, like months or even years....

And in the course of a year or two, a day here and there of not being perfectly on plan won't make a difference.

I LOVE what KAPLODS said above... that she's failed her way to a loss of 80 pounds.

What's different for me now, is that when I slip up it's usually by mistake-- and that's a far cry from when I used to just go into denial mode and start binging on everything in sight.

So, be kind to yourself. You WILL be able to achieve this if you just give yourself time and lots of hugs and loving kindness.:hug::hug::hug:

kaplods
02-09-2010, 12:17 AM
There is no one way that works best for everyone. You've got to find your best and most doable way.

For some folks that is having to hold themselves to an extremely rigid standard, "be all that you can be," and all that stuff.

All my life I thought that the rigidity was the only way. Everyone was telling me I had to be MORE committed, and put MORE focus and MORE effort into it.

And I kept trying to do it that way. Punishing and berating myself for not having more willpower, more drive, more committment, more of everything all the dieting books, friends, family, acquaintences, doctors, magazines... were telling me I needed.

I wan't just trying to go over the mountain, but to burrow through it. I never thought of going around the mountain, because no one ever told me that anything but perfection could work. There were plenty of people telling me that imperfection wouldn't work - that the tiniest slip meant I was doomed to failure.

There are plenty of people that will tell you that you have to work harder, commit more intensely, ruthlessly even. That weight loss needs to be your top, or even only priority. If that works for you, you'll find out fairly quickly - because it's still the most common approach that is advocated.

But if you find that pushing yourself hard isn't working, and then you try to push yourself harder and that still isn't working, and so you try to push evne harder and it STILL is not working - maybe than answer is NOT to try to push yourself even further.

Maybe instead it's a sign that you're trying to go THROUGH a mountain, and haven't considered attempting to find a way AROUND the mountain.

Sometimes the easy way is the most effective way. Doing things the hard way doesn't always guarantee that it's the best way. It doesn't even guarantee that it's the fastest way.


Many pioneers died crossing the mountains because they thought going over the mountain was the fastest way because it was the shortest way (well, actually to be technical about it, the shortest way would have been to burrow through the mountain, but that obviously was not the fastest way). Those that survived often found that those of their wagon trains who went around the mountain actually arrived at their destination before those who took the short cut.

The first thing to remember is that you need to find your own way, and that if it's working for you, don't let anyone tell you it's the WRONG way.

I still struggle with that. I've never been so successful for so long with so little effort, so little suffering or sacrifice - or with so many people telling me I'm doing it wrong. It's working in a way that has never before, so how can that be wrong?

It isn't. It may not be the route that some people would take. It may not be the route that most people want or need to take - but if intense, fire-powered approach isn't working for you, consider the possibility that a gentler path may be the one for you. It's not one that has a lot of support, so you'll face a lot of people telling you you're wrong or weak for taking it, but results speak for themselves. You'll find what works best for you, by experimenting and paying attention to the results (short-term and long-term).

rockinrobin
02-09-2010, 06:24 AM
There is no one way that works best for everyone. You've got to find your best and most doable way.

The first thing to remember is that you need to find your own way, and that if it's working for you, don't let anyone tell you it's the WRONG way.



So very, very, very true!!

OF course we all have different definitions of what "it's working for you" means. Sometimes you really have to stop and think, "is it REALLY working for me?". Or am I just being complacent here, (Complacency can be a dangerous thing.) Is there a better, easier, more effective way to do this?? Sometimes your plan needs to be tweaked. You can't get stuck in the rigidness of your own plan to your own detriment. I think it's important to recognize what you think is working for you and perhaps it really isn't it. Sometimes we lose sight of our original goals and that's a shame. We also start to think this is just too hard - so forget about it. Instead of really thinking through and defining what hard is and looking for ways to make this easier - whether in the actual plan itself that you think you must stick with and with ones mind frame.


For some folks that is having to hold themselves to an extremely rigid standard, "be all that you can be," and all that stuff.


Oh I never said anything about being rigid. Adhering to a healthy lifestyle has nothing to do with rigid-ness in my book. It is no burden to live this way. I just don't get why people feel that it is. To me, the burden was remaining super morbidly obese. To me, my former life seemed rigid and restrictive. I was so unbelievably limited to what I could and could not do. I guess it's all perspective.

I finally decided I wanted to be healthy, finally realized that I DID have the power over this - so I went for it. *For me* the health-iest thing one can do for themselves first and foremost is to get down to a *healthy* weight. Period. I'm sorry if that seems harsh, but that is the reality of it - for me. And no, I was no longer willing to settle for *good enough*. We are all different. I don't know yours or anyone else's circumstances, but I have three children that depended/depend on me. When you decide to have children you're no longer in it just for yourself. Now mind you it took me a long time to wake up and realize that. Well, that's false, I probably always realized it but never acted upon it. And that's unfortunate. But I try to not dwell upon that too often as I think it's pretty pointless.

I still struggle with that. I've never been so successful for so long with so little effort, so little suffering or sacrifice - or with so many people telling me I'm doing it wrong. It's working in a way that has never before, so how can that be wrong?

Me too!! I mean that's exactly it. This was amazing to me. I have never been so successful for so long with so little effort, so little suffering or sacrifice. Who knew? You said it perfectly for me. And yes - people telling me that I'm doing it wrong. And yes - it's working, it's working - it works!!! And I'm ecstatic, healthy, happy, energetic, satisfied, off of medications, living and loving life like never before - but here you have people telling me that I'm doing it wrong. :shrug:

But if you find that pushing yourself hard isn't working, and then you try to push yourself harder and that still isn't working, and so you try to push evne harder and it STILL is not working - maybe than answer is NOT to try to push yourself even further.

You see it *works* if you make it work. If you work it. This can never work it you don't make it work. It's really not a matter of pushing yourself all *that* hard. It was just a term I used to get past that initial discomfort stage of changing ones habit. It's not like any one is bleeding or life is on the line due to it - well just the opposite in fact. My life WAS on the line prior to this.

Sometimes the easy way is the most effective way. Doing things the hard way doesn't always guarantee that it's the best way. It doesn't even guarantee that it's the fastest way.

There are plenty of people that will tell you that you have to work harder, commit more intensely, ruthlessly even. That weight loss needs to be your top, or even only priority. If that works for you, you'll find out fairly quickly - because it's still the most common approach that is advocated.


This was true for me too!! Once I stopped doing it the hard way - it became - dare I say - easy. This WAS hard for me in the past. It wasn't until I fully committed, made it a top priority, put it on the front burner, that it BECAME easy for me. It wasn't until I finally realized that treating myself/abusing myself in that way was the hard.. How I was living (not really living) was HARD. Oh my g-d. Talk about hard!!!

Adhering to a healthy lifestyle, no that's not hard. I didn't dread this. I looked forward to it. I don't see this as hard. It's a joy and a blessing to live this way on SO many levels. It's indescribable. And as for the actual losing part - I had a BLAST losing the weight. It was FUN!!! Tons and tons of beyond belief fun. It was one of the best periods of my life.

I guess it's all perspective. :dizzy:

Couch
02-09-2010, 09:13 AM
Nthing the "losing weight does not require perfection". For me, demanding perfection leads to deprivation which leads to overeating which leads to guilt which leads to more overeating which leads to giving up.

Whilst you will probably up a couple for the next couple of days because of the salt, you overate by 240 calories, which means that you will lose <0.1lb less this week than you would have otherwise. This is not the definition of failure. Try to turn it into a positive by reflecting on what you could have done differently, and make a plan to avoid this situation next time.

Nada
02-09-2010, 10:02 AM
OP, don't call it failure. It's all a learning experience.

Kaplods, thank you. I am also on the slooooooow train. 3 and a half years to date. I used to use the excuse that I didn't have time to lose weight, I already had a life, thank you very much. I also thought it had to be the top priority in my life in order to work. And then one day it occurred to me (why did it take so long?) that if I changed my unhealthy habits for healthier ones I would at least be in BETTER shape. And I did that: one habit at a time. I turned that battleship by degrees--because I couldn't do a 180.

But that's me. For some people a complete U-turn is the way to go.
It's good to have it out there though, that gradual changes CAN work if you're patient. I wish that had occurred to me earlier.

SwimGirl
02-09-2010, 12:44 PM
kaplods - I think for where I am right now, your path is where I need to go. I am very good at beating myself up over not doing things perfectly and then giving up because if you aren't giving it your all, doesn't it mean you aren't trying and don't deserve it. That's not healthy for me, and it makes me hate myself. And how does one become successful at this while hating yourself, I know it sure hasn't worked for me in the past! I appreciate hearing that it's possible to lose weight in more than one way, because I've proven to myself I can't eat 100% healthy things, 100% of the time, but at the same time, yes, I think I'm finally getting that 2 slices of pizza isn't what made me the size I am, it's what I eat the next day.. and the day after that.

rockinrobin - I am definitely of the mind to always be striving for more, going outside of my norm and being a better person. I think we all need a little rockinrobin on our shoulder reminding us we can be better, because that is really what life is about.

Lori Bell - I live in a really WEIRD city! On Sunday's grocery stores are only open from 12-6pm! But yes, all the take-out places still deliver in the snow.. next time - PIZZA HUT, because they make a great salad :)

Marge - I guess I feel like I'm tired of struggling with this, however I suspect that I'm going to always be dealing with it, I just need to stop thinking of this as such a difficult process. It can be easier, and thats my decision. Being 30 is making me think about things in a new way :lol:

ubergirl - I always watch your process and am so impressed, you are just blowing through the number, and all the numbers that I get stuck at. I feel like you are doing it, so I can too.. so thank you! I agree, I'm not in denial of what I ate, which I so often did in the past.. so I must be changing a little. Which feels good, thanks for pointing that out.

Thanks everyone, all your posts really made me think, and I didn't just forget what happened.. but I am moving on. Just making note of what happened, why, and how I can avoid the situation in the future. I guess more importantly, realizing I can be successful at losing weight while not being 100% perfect 100% of the time. :)

-Aimee

ubergirl
02-09-2010, 01:11 PM
ubergirl - I always watch your process and am so impressed, you are just blowing through the number, and all the numbers that I get stuck at. I feel like you are doing it, so I can too.. so thank you! I agree, I'm not in denial of what I ate, which I so often did in the past.. so I must be changing a little. Which feels good, thanks for pointing that out.

-Aimee

Just remember Aimee... I have more years of failure behind me than you've probably been alive. It never worked for me until finally it did. And it will work for you too, and sooner than it worked for me because you have us to help you along!!! A history of not succeeding is just that. A history. And the past does not predict the future just as yesterday does not predict today.

And that's the one great thing about this process. We always get another try!