100 lb. Club - Letting go...




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TheJourneyStartsNow
02-07-2010, 03:16 PM
So...I have been on 3FC since December 09. My weight loss journey began on January 4th 2010. Myself & 13 other women started a Biggest Loser style weight competition at work. We weigh in every week. I was mortified the first day I got on that scale and saw 305. I had no idea I had let myself go that much. I will say I hide my weight very well, however...seeing that number made my heart drop into my stomach. I am the heaviest person in the competition. That was hard to accept.
I've been doing aerobics (30 day shred, Exercise TV) and tracking calories on myfitensspal.com. So far, I've lost 20lbs...I weigh in tomorrow & think I lost about 2lbs this week. That is if this super-bowl food doesn't kill me today (I'm from Indiana...so GO COLTS!!!)
Anywho, I have been lurking on the 100+ pound club since I got on here. I've just been in severe denial. I can't believe I have that much to lose. And it is a lot to soak in, thinking about working off that much weight. I'm just still so angry with myself that my weight has gotten this out of control.
I know I am doing the right things....and 20lbs feels amazing, but I'm still so scared to fail. My husband & I want to try to have a baby this summer (Goal is 60lbs gone before we even try), and I worry...will I gain all my weight back during pregnancy? Will I be able to continue my weight loss journey after having a child? It's just a lot of "fear of the unknown" going on. Story of my life!

So, yeah...sorry for the ramblings. I thought I would stop lurking and just put this out there.

I am fat, and have a lot of weight to lose!

I have been so inspired by this site, all of the weight loss pictures, stories, and overall support & motivation from you all. It's amazing that we are all strangers...but yet can really empathize with one another. Being heavy is hard, but trying to lose it is even harder.

My first mini goal is 50lbs by June (before going on vaca) with the hubby's family. I love my sister in law so much, but I always feel so insecure next to her on the beach every year....she weighs probably 110lbs after having 2 children!!!!!! Grrr...

Well, that's all for now!


lizard58
02-07-2010, 03:30 PM
You've done great so far! Keep your head up.. How wonderful of you! It must feel great to be 20 lbs lighter and you're well on your way to your goal.
When you and your husband conceive, you'll already have established good habits and your pregnancy (and baby) will benefit from it.
I'm sorry that you feel you have to compare yourself with other women, just try to keep encouraging yourself and feeling good. Go get 'em!

Eliana
02-07-2010, 03:37 PM
Wow. You've done a fantastic job! How wonderful that there are so many of you doing this together. That certainly always helps. Is there a prize for the champion Biggest Loser?


marigrace
02-07-2010, 03:44 PM
OK, You can do it. We can do it. All here for the long haul now.

DCHound
02-07-2010, 04:40 PM
Gulf Shores...my family is there!!! :) You can totally do this, don't worry. Just stay straight and the weight will come off.

Beverlyjoy
02-07-2010, 05:02 PM
I know it seems like a daunting task - to lose so much weight. You done beautifully by losing the first twenty!

The way I can live with it is to take it in small increments. Like it says on my avatar -

"I can't lose 100 pounds....but, just maybe I can lose five pounds twenty times."

This is true!

mel hughes
02-07-2010, 05:17 PM
Congratulations on making the decision to start your weight loss journey! I know it is daunting at first..I am looking to lose around 130 or so all together, and the idea of working THAT hard terrified me at first.

Someone on here told me that losing weight is hard, but being overweight is harder. Before I ever heard that, I thought the same way you did. I thought it would be so much easier to just continue doing what I was doing. I didn't want to put in the effort.
When I really thought about what she said, I realized how true that statement was. I thought of all the things I can't do or won't attempt because my weight is in control. I thought of how hard it is to run around with my kids. How hard it is to go shopping. How hard it is to do housework..

So now all I have to do is put in some effort, which I never have, and change my life. I CAN change my life. I believe we are well on our way to doing just that.

20lbs down is wonderful; I'm at 18 myself. And I am proud!

I know if we continue to push forward, it will be well worth it.

FitGirlyGirl
02-07-2010, 06:53 PM
Congrats on the success you have had so far. I know the feeling of being scared of pregnancy and yet wanting it so bad. Having a baby is my main motivation right now. I am going to be able to start trying in April. I'm also scared though that I'll gain it all back with the pregnancy and not be able to lose it again after. The doc says that I'll be ok if I just listen to what he and the nurse tell me to do, so that's my plan - do exactly what they say.

I understand the fear of failure too, because I was there not long ago. I had failed so many times before that of course I thought this time would be the same. Just take it one day at a time. Even if there are bad days make sure you don't let that make you feel the entire effort has failed. When you do it one day at a time there is really no need to fear failure. Once I truly understood that I stopped being afraid.

rockinrobin
02-07-2010, 07:46 PM
You have the ability to lose every excess pound on you. You've got the power to do this. You hold the key. You don't have to be overweight if you don't want to be.

I urge you to not focus on the numbers, but instead focus on the BEHAVIORS. Work on those behaviors. Start incorporating healthy eating/exercise habits into your life. Get rid of those unhealthy ways. Realize that you can't have it both ways - the high calorie/high quantity food AND be that fit, trim, active, healthy person. It just can't be.

Focus on making great choices at each and every turn. Find great, delicious, healthy foods to love so you won't "miss" the other foods. Don't look at passing up on those high calorie foods as deprivation. Look at EATING them as deprivation. Depriving yourself of the best possible life.

Work on those behaviors. Incorporate healthy eating patterns into your life - don't stop - just keep on continuing and there's no way that you can't lose the weight.

Challenge yourself. Conquer something new. Master some new skills. Amaze yourself. Don't dread these changes - but be excited about them. Find the joy in this healthy lifestyle. Give it a chance to take hold, get past the initial discomfort stage and discover who you were meant to be!!

I look forward to hearing of your continued progress. :)

astrophe
02-07-2010, 09:16 PM
I'm new here, so I don't have a lot of recent experience to share.

But a big warm welcome anyway! :)

A.

cfmama
02-07-2010, 10:50 PM
You are doing fantastically!

BeachBreeze2010
02-08-2010, 11:15 AM
One step at a time. You are letting the big picture get in the way of success. We have all been there. But, you need to stop thinking about huge goals. Think about your next meal and next exercise session. Eat well that meal and do that exercise and then the next and the next. This is a permanent lifestyle change - you will be eating well and exercising for life, so there really is no time limit or numbers. They are a side effect of making good choices. But seriously, hun, one choice at a time. They will add up, I promise. The next year is going to pass whether you make good choices or not - you might as well look back as a thinner, healthier, happier (and maybe pregnant?) you!

PeanutsMom704
02-08-2010, 12:22 PM
You're doing great so far - but I agree with everyone else. Keep you eyes on right now - down the road will take care of itself as long as you get there one step, one pound at a time.

GiddyupKaos
02-08-2010, 12:38 PM
I agree with everyone else.. You are doing GREAT girl!!!!! Keep it up...

WarMaiden
02-08-2010, 12:53 PM
All you can do is control your behavior and your feelings and your thoughts in this very moment. You cannot change/control what you have done in the past (so there's no point in regret and guilt), and you cannot control what the future will bring (so there's no point in worry).

I lost about 85 pounds by making mostly incremental changes to my behaviors. First I quit drinking coffee. Then I started getting more sleep. Then I cut sugar out of my diet. Then I switched out a lot of grain-type foods in my diet for more vegetables. Then I started to stand at my desk at work, rather than sitting. Then I started to formally "exericse." Then I did some calorie-counting.

After about a year of that, due to significant stresses in my real life, I wanted to stop thinking/obsessing about weight loss so much, so I did. But I maintained about 90% of my successful habits/behaviors and didn't gain any weight back. That break lasted about 6 months.

Now I want to work on weight loss some more, so I'm thinking and working at it again, and it works. But I don't think about the future or the long-term very much, because that would drive me crazy; I just think about what I'm doing today. And today, I am OK. Today, I can do the things that are good for me.

And looking back on the past 5 weeks since I have renewed my efforts, it looks like I've lost about 6 pounds of actual fat. So I trust my process. I trust my body. I trust my power to do the things that are good for me.

Baby steps and trust.

Lori Bell
02-08-2010, 01:07 PM
Congrats on your success so far!

There is one thing I'd like to delicately caution you about becoming pregnant at 245 pounds, (because of your fear of gaining back any weight you have previously lost.) Being at 245 (BMI 40.8)puts you in the morbidly obese category, and while you will be much more comfortable at that weight going into a pregnancy, (than your current weight), you will still be considered a high risk pregnancy. The worry of regain might be curbed when the doctor warns you of your very high risks of preeclampsia, and gestational diabetes, as well as other health concerns for you and the baby. Overweight women have babies all the time, and everything usually all works out okay, but going into a pregnancy already obese, you will have to watch every bite you take, you can't afford to gain but the minimum during your pregnancy...

What I'm trying to say is, if you fear gaining (back) any (lost) weight while pregnant maybe you should reconsider your plan to become pregnant until you are at a lower weight. If your fears become reality and you do gain a large amount of weight, you'll put you and your baby at a much greater health risk. KWIM? :hug:

H8cake
02-08-2010, 01:08 PM
I'm so glad you are here! Two years ago I decided to lose the weight. I felt just like you do now. I was so scared I couldn't do it and so frustrated and overwhelmed that I had so much to lose. Coming here to 3FC was one of the things that made my efforts successful. I came here every day and read and read, soaking in all the good advice and knowledge the ladies and guys have to share. I focused on ten pounds at a time and it was amazing how fast those chunks of weight added up. Don't let yourself be overwhelmed, focus on the small goals and just keep moving forward. Like Robin said, you absolutely have the power to get the weight off. We're all here to help!

TheJourneyStartsNow
02-09-2010, 05:21 PM
Thanks to everyone for the kind words & encouragement!!

I know I can do this...I *am* doing this....one day at a time....one day at a time.

:hug: