Hi all,
I was born and raised skinny... and I mean skinny (think Olive Oil). It was just my metabolism. I could eat anything I wanted which is part of my problem. You know after kids... how your metabolism changes but if your diet doesn't, it can have you packing on the pounds? Combine it with the fact that both my parents were terrible alcoholics as I was growing up. They eventually because skid row alcoholics and were pulled back through deaths door before they actually quit. I, like my parents alcoholism, am a closet eater. Like we didn't know they went into their room to swig their whiskey straight from the bottle. Well... I can eat in private but my butt shows the world what I think I've been hiding
I have substituted food for alcohol. I wish I could just quit eating... or not be around people that eat... or don't go near food like alcoholics have to treat alcohol. Wanna hear something strange? I've NEVER been drunk... and I'm 53. I hated their alcoholism that much.
Three weeks ago I started going to a TOPS group. I like them ok, but I think I was hoping for a little more personal support than what they have to offer. I will still be going, in fact my meeting is tonight.
I have some issues maybe ya'll can help me with.
First... and my biggest challenge is something I
can't figure out about myself. Just say the word "diet" and I start eating/binging. I just pig out... then I hate myself. Now... Why do I do that? Any ideas would be great! Every day is fat Tuesday for me.
Second... I travel a lot. I need some realistic help with eating/not eating/snacks that are good... etc. I'm flying to Chicago on the 15th.
Third... I have lots of friends that have had the lap band. I can't stand the thought of it but I tried doing Medi fast thinking that people who have a lap band are really just on a low calorie diet right? I lost 25 pounds last February but ended up in the hospital with a serious heart arrhythmia in March. I'm not sure if it was the Medi fast or not but I'm totally freaked out about losing too fast. I'm sure thats a good thing because I don't want to end up with my heart going that fast again! It was going about 180... All that to say, I have a heart problem.
Fourth... I can't stand my husband knowing or being "supportive" in my efforts to lose weight. I'm glad he cares, don't get me wrong, its just that I hate to dissappoint him when I screw up. I also get tired of him talking about calories, exercise, fitness...etc. I feel like its so pointed, you know?
There is probably more but this enough for today.
I'm looking forward to be part of this forum.
P