I have had it about up to HERE with the "I'm SO FAT" parroting from umpteen female friends. This is not being jealous of someone thinner. I'm just tired of hearing women put themselves down. Especially when they are NOT fat, they are thin and fit.
I understand if they still want to lose weight - everyone has to pick their goal for themselves and I dont think they are at risk for going underweight. But you are. not. FAT. You simply weigh more than you would like. But you are not "so disgusting", "gross", "obscene" in a bathing suit, or "hideously fat".
The negative talk is just getting to me. QUIT HATING YOURSELF.
I agree entirely. I used to be one of those girls--I think it wasn't so much my size as how I felt -- bloated, soft, lazy, slobbish -- and I thought my body reflected that. It wasn't how much fat I had but how much muscle I *didn't have* that made me so self-loathing and thinking "I'm so fat."
Now I've lost some (but not all) of the weight I disliked, but more importantly I'm starting to do cardio and weights a few times a week... and even just a few days in, I already feel a *huge* difference and no longer feel fat. Which is exactly what I explained to my "SO FAT" girlfriend (who is 5'9" and 150 lbs) as we chowed down on delicious whole-wheat burritos.
I detest this too. For the negative self talk aspect but also because the two people I hear it from are :
5 ft 4 and 109
5 ft 6 and 140
Not fat at all. I can't always help but think " my heavens do you realize what you are saying to someone who truly is fat?!!!" and also " good heavens if you think you are so gross , disgusting and fat what does that make me or anyone else who is truly fat look like in your eyes????
When these to people start these comments I just 100% ignore them.
Last edited by thinnerbyjuly; 02-02-2010 at 11:36 AM.
Ah, yes. Best to ignore those comments.
They either want reassurance that they look wonderful or if they really do need to lose they usually would rather talk about it than do something.
What would they do if you simply agreed with them?
Ah, yes. Best to ignore those comments.
They either want reassurance that they look wonderful or if they really do need to lose they usually would rather talk about it than do something.
What would they do if you simply agreed with them?
Hahaha! That's funny. I can just picture it:
Skinny girl: [drama]"I'm soooo fat!" [/drama]
Me: "Yeah, you're right, you are kind of fat"
Skinny girl:
I have to agree, though, that it feels incredibly awkward to be a truly obese person and standing there listening to some skinny girl moan about how "fat" she is.
I agree to an extent. We should all focus on positive self image rather than degrading ourselves. However, I'm guilty of it, and so I can't preach. My self esteem has skyrocketed since starting weight loss, but I have been at spots in my life where I'd literally get disgusted when I looked in the mirror.
I have also been offended when a little skinny minnie says "I'm so fat," because I look at them and would trade my left nipple to be their size. However, I have caught myself whining about my love handles or poochy tummy around girls who are 100lbs more than me. And I'm sure they're thinking the same thing that I think around tiny girls. I absolutely don't say it to make them feel bad about themselves, but I can understand how it's interpreted since I've been on both ends of it. Women are just very critical of ourselves. Even at 156lbs and almost 5'9, while I may not be considered "fat," I'm still not entirely comfortable in my own skin. And I recognize that this is probably irrational, I'm at a healthy weight, and I know I look fit. I recognize that it's sad that I have body issues. But I still do.
Aaahahaha MakingSkinny I actually have said that same thing--outloud--on numerous occassions. Hey if someone thinks they are fat, who am I to argue with them? I for one think I am AWESOME!!!
I can't respond to that kind of talk. I just can't, it bugs me like crazy. I'm not offended, but I just feel so dumped on. I would never declare something like that and wait for someone to respond - I would feel like I was dumping on them.
I have to agree with mkendrick... I've never said "I'm so fat" to a person heavier than me, unless you include my husband. I know that I have self image issues and I'm working through those as I continue to lose weight, but when someone says something like that, there may be more going on than you can see.
I detest this too. For the negative self talk aspect but also because the two people I hear it from are :
5 ft 4 and 109
5 ft 6 and 140
Not fat at all. I can't always help but think " my heavens do you realize what you are saying to someone who truly is fat?!!!" and also " good heavens if you think you are so gross , disgusting and fat what does that make me or anyone else who is truly fat look like in your eyes????
When these to people start these comments I just 100% ignore them.
I totally agree with you there. I also think that when people are saying that they are fishing for compliments, "You're not fat!!" Which is how I used to respond. However, after losing 85 pounds, people starting telling me I looked sick, when I still felt heavy. That affected me soooo much!! Not the thing you want to hear after losing weight. Now if someone ever says that they are fat, I don't respond. It doesn't matter what you weigh, it matters how you feel about yourself. Now I realize that of course I looked sick!! For 6 months I ate a diet that was under 1000 calories a day. DUH!!
I know I probably sound mean, but I get really tired of this whole thing. Even if we're overweight, we shouldn't talk ourselves down that way -- it doesn't accomplish anything and it drives everyone nuts! Sometimes these girls will complain, "I'm so fat!" and then look at me expectantly, like I should say the same thing. I usually just shrug and say, "Too bad you feel that way. I'm pretty happy with myself, actually." (Or, on my less-patient days, I've been known to say, "Why don't you do something about it, then, if you're so upset about it?" That usually shuts them up. )
I really get tired of hearing certain friends say this. "I can't blah blah blah because I'm fat."
DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT THEN!!! UGH! I never say it but I think it. I can't say it because I'm too much of a people-pleaser.
...then I'll find myself saying something like, "Ugh, I have a little pooch on my belly" to my friends that weigh nearly 100lbs more than I do. :-( Yeah, I should watch that.
I have an interesting situation with a co-worker/friend. She and I are the same height and I was 30 lbs heavier than her. On the day the scale read that I'd lost 30 lbs, my first thought was, "Yeah, now I look like co-worker." I got to work that day and heard the "I'm so fat" from her. It was disheartening because we were exactly the same and I was feeling pretty darn good!
I actually pointed it out and she covered with, "But I don't think you're fat because you've done so well." Nice try.
The thing to remember is that the comment is never an intentional slam on someone else, but it is always, ALWAYS either only about oneself or is just plain fishing.
I think it's probably fishing a lot less frequently than people think. I used to do this when I was super skinny and it was not because I wanted people to tell me I wasn't, it was because I was super anxious about my body and honestly felt that way. Girls are raised to think of weight as a bonding issue and I really think most women use it as a way to establish common ground.
Also, I don't think that someone smaller than me thinking that THEY are fat automatically means that they are saying I am so fat. I mean, I obviously need to lose weight, but I'm not going to freak out because someone smaller than me says that they do, too. What they think of themselves has nothing to do with me.
I used to get really resentful of people complaining that they needed to lose 5-10lbs. Then I realized that if I had been cognizant when I only needed to lose 5-10lbs that I wouldn't be in the situation I am in now.
Oh no, I never ever see it as a slam. Or even fishing. That is not the vibe I get at all. What I see is women who are so wrapped up in self-loathing that they can not see themselves for who they are. They have this vision of this 19 year old airbrushed perfect body and dont see that they arent doing themselves any favors by calling themselves names.
Rant: "I'm SO FAT"
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Nice try. 