Hi Blue girls
After catching up on all the posts since I was last here, I had mixed emotions. I was sorry to hear so many were struggling and that some had gains, but I felt better because I too have a full pound gain this week, so I didn't feel like the lone letdown, you know? I have been comfort-food-eating, stuffing my grief, which of course, logically, I know is not going to help the "problem". I know to accept that I am grieiving and its okay, but old habits die hard. I am reading a really good book, that for some unknown reason - I bought months before Seth died. It's called
The Heartache No One Sees by Sheila Walsh. It is like she is sitting right with me and talking directly to my issues. I'd recommend for any grieving person, and I have to believe God directed me to buy it when I did, because I had no problems before this . . . no heartache anyway.
I'm not sure if I'm subconsciously doing what
Diva said, adding stress by being in this challenge . . . could be. But I'm willing to keep it a part of my goals for now. Maybe it is too ambitious at this time in my life, but if I could make some progress . . . I know it would boost my spirits. Just like, we will be paying off our mortgage this year, but it will be a bittersweet reward because it will coincide with the 1 year death date, but I'm not going to set that goal aside, so I press on. Life is never boring.
On to personals:
Michelle/thinner - Thank you for your continued prayers for me. As my Avatar poem says
That in reaching out and healing
with some help from up above
I can’t but help but feeling
your collective, heart-felt love.
Michelle, also - which shoes were yours, two people talked of shoes. Were yours the sketchers or the kmart therashoes? Sound like a good addition to your workout so I may try them if I can find em.
Selina - So glad your dad is in the hospital, you must have made an impression with the life and death talks. Praying he will improve.
Thanks for your compliment on my poem, too. And as someone else said, sure, we'll be happy for you to reach 189 for a new pic, but the one you have is just beautiful.
Diva - definitely sorry to see you go, but like i said above, maybe I'm doing like you, adding stress by doing this challenge. Pop in and let us know if it helps
for real to not be so weight focused. I'm just not thinking all the way clear right now and would love your input on this.
Nella - I have so much to say about custody battles. Only
I was the real mom battling with my ex and his new wife. They were good people, but my personal belief, which came out in your description, is that my ex, though remarried, was still trying to either keep me in touch with him or to hurt me for daring to leave him. Either way, the kids suffer, And as for me, I felt so heartbroken when he was given primary custody, it was as if all my (then three of them) boys had died. I cried and moped around for weeks. All this resurfaced at Seth's memorial service incredibly. I thought all was healed, I came bearing gifts to console and heal, and was given (metaphoric) gutt punches more than once. So I do indeed understand this is more than drama, it is anguish. Sorry you have to deal with a mother who doesn't know if she wants her kids or not. Hang in there and just love those kids.
Angela - you poor dear, you sound so sick and still you worry about us. You are a wonderful leader, but we need you to get well so don't worry about the "extras", we'll be fine. We need you well. Love and prayers for you dear one.
Mageorge - that pumpkin pie recipe sounds great, especially with babygrant's suggestion of muffin tins. Thanks for sharing it.
Babygrant - wow 10 pounds and almost to onederland.
You MUST be doing something right. So very proud of you. And if I didn't thank you before, I'd like to do so now for saying my poetry was beautiful, it means a lot to me.
Smith1313/Susan - so sorry you're up, but you can take a little consolation in that you make me feel great!!!
Not that I relish your failure, it just makes mine not look quite so bad. Let's pull up our bootstraps and get back in there, eh?
Catsgetnhealthy/Cathy - I like Leslie Sansone too, so tell me about the new DVD, what do you like or not like about it. I will likely try it if it sounds good. Thanks in advance for sharing your opinion.
Ars - Except for babygrant, you're one of the few of us who is actually losing!!!! Even if its only .4, you're way ahead of me, and so you're likely way ahead of many on the
Red team too! So there!!!
Sunni - What a bummer of a boss! Lets you work your rear off, then, as you say, throws you under the bus. Duh! It seems he's trying to keep you for himself, he'll probably be lost without all your help. Good luck in getting over this hump.
Echo - Dear sweet
Echo, so good to see you here. Thank you so much for your personal attention and for asking after me, you are too too sweet.
I'm sure you will do just fine in your driving test. If anyone deserves to advance, its you. Sounds like you had a pretty good time with your friends, but like me, it lead to weight gain, but as
retiredone said, its temporary. We can overcome, especially with our good hearted effort. Thanks again for caring.
I know I didn't get everyone, sometimes I read and I'm not really there, you know? I'm still not fully "me". Still dazed and confused at times, in disbelief, sorrow, like being underwater pushing toward the surface . . . I can see the light, and though I'm aiming toward it, sometimes it seems so far away. Thank you all for keeping the light in view. I'll come up for air soon. Love you guys.
Dora
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I copied my last post from last week because it covered a lot of ground and maybe some of you wouldn't see it, so . . . here it is.
