100 lb. Club - I Need Help. I'm Scared.

View Full Version : I Need Help. I'm Scared.

01-26-2010, 06:00 PM
3fc, I have been struggling with my weight, my entire life. At 5 years old, I was 90 pounds.

At 12, I was 180 pounds.

Now at 22, I am 293 pounds.

I know I always seem bright and cheery on this site. Always being helpful and offering up advice and congratulations, but I'm starting to feel like an alcoholic preaching to people not to drink, while holding a beer in my hand.

I know, I know. Eat right and exercise. Calories in vs. calories out. It's so simple. On paper.
Applying it to your actual life is a completely different story.

I'll start with something very basic. I am addicted to soda. Actually, not even that. Just Dr. Pepper. I am addicted to Dr. Pepper. Within an hour of waking up in the morning, I am having my bf get me a 32 oz fountain soda. And most likely, I'll have one or two more before the day is through. I quit soda cold turkey once for a month. I don't even have any idea what happened, but how I wish it hadn't. :(

Also, as soon as the bf and I have extra money, we immediately head to Burger King, or McDonald's, or some sort of fast food/pizza place. And honestly, this isn't really extra money. We struggle financially, so the eating out and the 3 a day sodas needs to stop. We are living below poverty level. We need to learn to control our money.

We're on foodstamps, $239 monthly. Once, we tried getting almost everything health food, but it took all our foodstamps, and less than two weeks later we were completely out of food. (not because we eat a lot, but because healthy food is so expensive, we couldn't get much in the first place)
For Christmas we got a rice and vegetable steamer, and we've been using it like it's our job. Lots of veggies in our meals. But that still doesn't counteract the cookies, and the frosting, and the soda, and the fast food, and the candy and chips.

A few weeks ago he bought me the Jillian Michaels workout dvd. I did the 5 minute warm-up one time, and haven't so much as glanced at it since.

I'm scared, 3fc. I have no self-control or self-discipline, obviously. I am clinically depressed largely in part due to my weight problems. I recognize how poor my health is and exactly what I need to do, but no matter how much I'm hurting, apparently food is more important to me. :(

I think I may need professional help. *sigh*

I am not happy with myself, 3fc. Not at all. :(

01-26-2010, 06:10 PM
chin up sweetpea, you can do it and the only person stopping you is yourself just try to focus and plan your meals and take one day at a time as if you were an alcoholic ! lol xxxx

01-26-2010, 06:19 PM
My heavens! I am so sorry to hear you say this because you are someone I think of as being upbeat and positive but you don't have to put up a front for anyone. We are all here because we have something in common. If we could or did control our eating, none of would be in our current or former situation so you really don't need to impress us. No one is judging you for what you did then or what you are doing now. Your statement that food is more important than you is very indicative of food addiction but unlike alcohol, we need food to survive so what to do? If I could give you some unsolicited advice it would be just try to make one healthy decision every day then let that snowball from one day to the next. Drink your Dr. Pepper but also have a glass of water and switch off every sip. The next day get a smaller size soda, so on and so forth until the soda is totally phased out. (I know what you are going through. I dearly love Coke and I miss it but it makes me feel like a sloth so I have to resist.) If you can focus on making each day healthier than the last I think you will feel better physically and mentally in no time.

01-26-2010, 06:20 PM
I used to have a real problem with pop (as we say it in Minnesota, where I'm from). I'd seriously have a 'pack a day habit', as in I would drink a full 12 pack of pop every day.

Yeah, that's bad for you.

Something that's helped me stop drinking pop is by drinking crystal lit type drinks instead. Since I hate water (it doesn't taste good) I flavor it instead.

Granted, one of my favorite things about pop is the carbonation. I still haven't found a way around that, though.

Here's the thing about healthy food at the grocery store: the stuff that's touted as healthy will be more expensive. But stuff that's naturally healthy but doesn't advertise won't be. So, get some cans of vegetables. Those are usually less than a dollar a can. Buy the fresh veggies and fruits that are on sale. Buy sale fish and turkey fresh from the meat department rather than the stuff packaged in the frozen section. There's ways around it, I promise.

Although, McDs will always be cheaper, you're trading health for money. Think of it that way. Is the savings of a few bucks worth staying so heavy and unhealthy?

01-26-2010, 06:21 PM
You are not alone! Healthy food is more spendy but, you can do it! My hubby and I also struggle finacially but I watch all the sale adds to get some of the food that we need! I also watch my portions if the box says there are four portions then I use it for four portions not one.

01-26-2010, 06:24 PM
Hold on there ! Nothing you are having a problem with is out of your control.
You have a choice, and it is so clear. Either change your habits, or learn to live with the consequences. You need to get yourself off all that high fructose corn syrup and scary fake food you are "addicted" to and yes, it is an addiction.... Did anyone say it was going to be easy ? It will only get done if you DO it. You have to really want it, but you can do it. You can do it. You have the power over this.

01-26-2010, 07:47 PM
:hug: We've all been there. I think it's amazing that you've recognized the problem and the need to change your behaviors. If losing weight was a simple "calories-in vs. calories-out" no one would be overweight, so don't beat yourself up if you're struggling, you're only human. For me, losing weight has been completely mental and my biggest struggle is with myself and my own self-destructive impulses. Like you fast food was a regular staple in my diet (it's was just so darn convenient). To curb my fast food behaviors I cut-up my debit card and started keeping minimal cash in my wallet & home (it's easy to pass McDonald's or not order pizza when you have no money on hand, lol). I never had a soda addiction so I don't have much advice other than to try and slowly wean yourself off it to a healthy option (it's like quitting smoking, going cold turkey rarely works).

For those of us struggling with food issues, expecting drastic changes immediately is sort of unrealistic and it just sets you up for failure. Try making a few very small changes (like drinking 1 glass of water for each glass of soda, making X number of meals at home in a week, ...) and go with that for awhile. Then after a few weeks make a few more changes. It'll take time, and it's not always easy but if you start small you will get healthy. Stay strong and remember we're all here for you no matter what! :hug:

01-26-2010, 08:15 PM
Please keep it coming ladies. You all help tremendously. Thank you. :)

01-26-2010, 08:18 PM
I've had the pop addiction and I had to quit cold turkey. I drink only water. The longest sting I've ever had without pop has been 6 months. Right now I'm going on 2.5 months. I keep track much like an alcoholic, don't I? I get the comparison. I can tell you that the longer I do it, the easier it gets, but I know I can not have another pop. Right now what keeps me going is knowing I don't want to drink my calories. I can have an apple with peanut butter for around 200 calories, or I can have a can Coke. When I'm hungry, the Coke just doesn't tempt me.

You can do this! You know that! You can do this just like everyone else you've given advice to. It IS within your control, just not without effort...a lot of effort. Get one good day of eating under your belt, and then another, and another, and by the end of about 3 days you'll be over the hump.

01-26-2010, 08:30 PM
Well, first I would like to say that I am impressed with how honest your post was. It takes a lot of courage to look at yourself and admit where you go wrong.

For me, sometimes it's the smallest things that can make me feel terrible, which ends up causing many other things to spiral quickly downhill.

The soda thing is awful - I mean, awful to try and quit. Believe me, I was totally addicted to Coca Cola, so I know what you mean.

I think you probably have a lot of things you would like to quit doing, which is making it quite overwhelming for you. Could you possibly focus on one thing that you are pretty sure you can cut out without it being too traumatic, and just do that first?

I like HoneyBJones idea of switching each soda out with water and then gradually tapering off.

Or, is there something else you can cut out instead that you can make a commitment to?

What I'm saying is, sometimes if you can do just ONE healthy happy thing per day, the rest of the healthy happy things start becoming easier.


01-26-2010, 08:31 PM
Do you have a Aldi's store near you. I swear they have the best prices for produce and many healthy things. I know it costs to join Sam's or Costcos. Aldi's doesn't require that.


Tonight - PLAN what you will eat tomorrow. Planning really helps - then you don't have to think about it all day. Take it one meal at a time.

Don't give up...you can do this. I am glad you posted.

01-26-2010, 08:40 PM
You sound so much like me from a few years ago . . .

Back when I was living with my ex boyfriend, we were dirt-poor, struggling to make ends meet. Yet we still bought fast food and ordered take-out like it was going out of style! And the soda . . . oh the soda! I dread to think about how much I was consuming back then. No clue how much now actually. But I was depressed and felt lost over how to get better.

I looked to food to escape, but when that wasn't enough I looked to alcohol. You can imagine how much of a mess the latter put me in!

I think I've blocked a lot of that out now actually. That was when I was in my late 20's and got to my highest weight of 360 pounds. Luckily it sounds like you and your BF are on the same page with looking for healthier options . . . bless you both for that! I'd lost weight before and had an idea of what to do, but as I was struggling to look for healthier options and ways to change for the better that time around, my ex was quite happy with our situation and fought me every step of the way, which of course made things all the more difficult for me.

I snapped one day while shopping at a Fashion Bug, when I realized that none of the jeans in the plus size section would even begin to fit me. Who knows why that was my wake-up call of all things, especially when my health had declined horribly for someone my age (I blacked out several times, nearly did once while driving, had asthma and horrible bladder issues . . . the list goes on).

Sorry, I don't mean to get into my life story here, but I wanted you to know that I relate. A lot of us do. It's so easy to say what we need to do but quite another to actually buckle down to do it. I've lost over 110 pounds since then, yet have found myself slipping as I do every so often. I'm currently taking some time out today to re-evaluate what I'm doing, what it is I need to do, and looking for what steps I need to take to get myself back on track.

You know, I've struggled with soda ever since I've lived on my own. I'd switch to diet every so often thinking it was a healthier option, but started to get horrid migraines from the artificial sweetener a couple years back. So then I switched back to regular soda and had more than ever! Would easily go through a dozen cans in a day as recently as last year. One day this summer I decided enough was enough and quit cold turkey, and let me tell you, it was much more difficult to me than quitting smoking and alcohol combined! With one major exception, I haven't ordered or bought myself any soda since August. I don't know how to recommend anyone else attempting that, but what worked for me was reminding myself how sick the artificially sweetened kind made me and telling myself that the regular stuff did even worse things to me beneath the surface . . . I can't let either of them be an option for me, no matter what, and literally have to remind myself every so often.

While I had some soda when I was sick with the stomach flu a few weeks ago (7-up was the only thing my stomach seemed to handle), I stopped drinking it immediately after. And immediately started craving sweets! Sigh . . . even under the circumstances I think the soda was a trigger for me, and another sign that I'm one of those people that just needs to stay away from it completely. All I typically drink these days is water (of course), grapefruit juice in moderate amounts, unsweetened cranberry juice (for my bladder health), and plain iced tea as a treat whenever I go out.

Whatever it is that will get you through this, you'll find it. And in the meantime, we've been there and we understand . . . and we are all here for you. Take care of yourself. :hug:

01-26-2010, 08:50 PM
Do you have a Aldi's store near you. I swear they have the best prices for produce and many healthy things. I know it costs to join Sam's or Costcos. Aldi's doesn't require that.

WalMart Super Stores have great prices too. Also, look for Grocery Outlet or WinCo Foods.

At Grocery Outlet, I shop for just one person and comfortably spend about $50 every two weeks and i get about 6 bags of groceries each trip. I do not buy tv dinners or junk food though, just trying to get more whole foods and healthy stuff. Best of Luck to you.

01-26-2010, 09:04 PM
It's ok, we all go there sometimes... and depression doesn't help.... I feel like we have the same struggle, I bet we all do sometimes. Here's some things that might help:

maybe get some help with the depression?
On the soda note: maybe get fizzy water and put some juice in it? if not that, wal-mart has diet ones that are fizzy, they're ok... I freeze mine and let em patially thaw, theyre great but lose carbonation when fully thawed.

Jump back on the weight loss wagon when you're ready, we'll be here. Basically when your mood is better and you find (even sometimes) a way around the addictions (each one is a battle) it might be a tad easier. Maybe find something fun to take your mind off things.

as for fast food, ah dear... that's a good part of how I got here... 3x a week at mcds eating a large fry, 2-3 burgers and some chicken nuggets and a shake!! (yep pretty much every time) It really is addictive, I think they know that. Basically, try not to have to pass by one as much as possible, and your family might have to try not to get you there too. Maybe try sub-way (depending of course) or a salad place when you go out? Shoot, my binge a few days ago was totally mcds!! IT WILL happen, it'll be ok!

Naughty food blues hun... :devil:

01-26-2010, 09:06 PM
I want to say the perfect thing to make you feel better and to help you get on the right track but I just don't know what that perfect thing is. Gracie is right, we have all been there. marigrace is also right, nothing you are having a problem with is out of your control.

I know that I have a food addiction, primarily to sugar and it sounds like you do to. Getting past that craving is the hardest part. I had to go without the sugar and do low carb for 2 or 3 weeks before the cravings got better but once the cravings were gone, I could have more carbs. I have to stay away from the sugar though. I feel so free without the cravings and never want to be under that control again.

You are so wise to see your problem at 22. I wish I had. I spent the last 30 years morbidly obese and missed out on many things because of it. I want to encourage you to get this under control while you are still young. You don't want to spend the next 30 years like this.

Healthy food is expensive but so are "the cookies, and the frosting, and the soda, and the fast food, and the candy and chips". Have you ever figured the price of chips per pound? There are lots of discussions here at 3fc on how to eat healthy on a budget but, to be honest, it does not sound like your main problem is money. It sounds like it is craving the junk.

:hug: Please know that you can do this!

01-26-2010, 09:07 PM
oh right... yes and the health food thing... most don't keep... I buy frozen berries a lot, and frozen veggies... but I have an extra freezer for these things, its not always easy. Also, like someone mentioned, wal-mart helps, and food discount stores ( I like 50 cent boxes of cereal!!) We have a mr.g's here. If it gets real tight, maybe see if the local food shelf can supply things like pasta, sauces,...basically dry stuff, at least here they dont get much meat and things...

01-26-2010, 09:41 PM
Redreine, I hope you don't think I was being mean. Believe me I understand the struggle, like most of the chicks around here....About the food...this might sound like I'm two bulbs short of a chandelier, but the companies that make the foods you are addicted to like it that way,and do everything they can to keep it that way. It is up to you to take that power away from them.
Also you might check out the eating healthy on $25. a week thread. It will get easier...I promise.

01-26-2010, 09:57 PM
Have you tried switching to diet Dr Pepper? I've found that it's really delicious!

As for everything else, I know how you feel. Counting calories isn't enough for me. I do low cal/low carb.

If I'm not very restrictive about what I allow myself to have, everything goes to ****. ****, I tell you!

Let us know how you're doing. There are many people here cheering for you. WE know you can do it!

01-26-2010, 10:14 PM
Also you might check out the eating healthy on $25. a week thread. It will get easier...I promise.

Can you give a link for that thread?


Sending you :hug::hug::hug:. Take a breath. Make a plan. It doesn't have to be a big plan. Execute that plan. In a day or a week add to that plan. Repeat over and over again.

I have a pretty good idea how you're feeling right now. I'm a diabetic who hasn't got control of her sugar intake. But I'm working on it. My grandmother lost her leg and my oldest brother lost his sight because of diabetes. You would think that would be enough motivation for me right? No, I'm a recovering sugar addict with no days of abstinence.

But we will get there. Will it be easy - NO. BUT. WE. WILL. DO. IT.

Make a plan for tomorrow. Share it with us. Then tomorrow you can give us a report on your success.
We're all rooting for you.

01-26-2010, 10:16 PM
oh, P.S., I can't remember where i got this website from (it might have even been here) but it's how this couple in New York are able to eat on a $30/week budget! Maybe it will give you some ideas..



01-26-2010, 10:25 PM
I used to drink mountain dew like it was water. I quit cold turkey and my body rebelled. I fought through it because NOW is my time to change my life. It's your time too. My husband is like your BF and would get me whatever I want when I wanted it. I wanted Klondike bars one night around midnight and he went to the store and got them. When he realized I was serious about losing the weight he has been very supportive. I had to show him I was serious.

As for grocery shopping on $239 and eating healthy you can do this, I've had to do it before and we were big eaters. He liked eating out at fast food restaurants and so did I. Nothing like salty, greasy food. I went to a Mexican restaurant and ate until I couldn't walk. So you are not saying something to us that someone can't relate to. We are all in this together and we want you to make it!!

First off, go to Walmart and get about 6 packages of ground turkey - $2.47, get some frozen veges they usually run about $5 a bag for the real huge bags. Get some whole wheat noodles - $1.75. Brown Rice - $2.50. You can also get some frozen fish for a 11.97. If you want chicken get a couple bags of frozen chicken breast $6.97 and this should carry you a couple of weeks. That would come up to about $80. You can grab some spices and if you really like ground beef get the lean and it's about $4.00 a pack. You can also get a bottle of Dr Pepper and scale back how much you drink each day. That way you aren't deprived. Maybe get a 12 oz glass or cup and only drink that with breakfast. If you need some more later in the day drink 12 oz and so on. Try not to drink more than 12oz at a time. You will want more but dig deep and say I can only have 12oz at a time and it will get easier. You will look back at this time and realize you are not enslaved to Dr Pepper anymore. I PROMISE!!:hug::hug:

01-26-2010, 10:28 PM
Marcia, on the main forum page -scroll down to the food section then "Whole Foods Lifestyle" you will find it there.

01-26-2010, 11:07 PM
Do I think I am a food addict? You betcha! You can do this. Your honesty is to be admired! I too have been thinking about giving up diet soda. Years and years and years ago I was told...if you switch to diet soda you will loose weight. Hello...no weight loss here! I really do believe that diet soda is full of chemicals that aren't good for my body. But I am scared to give it up. I love the taste and the bubbles in my mouth! Scared of what? Not sure today. But boy is 3FC been a godsend for me!! Keep writing. Keep reading. Keep reaching out. You can do this!

01-26-2010, 11:20 PM
Here's a thought and I don't know if it is a good one or not but if there is a local farmer's market, maybe they will give you some of their produce in exchange for a few hours of work every week.

01-26-2010, 11:26 PM
You've gotten some great advice in these responses so I don't really have anything to add, but I just wanted to offer a :hug: and let you know that you are not alone, and you don't have to put up a "I'm happy and everything's great!" front for 3FC. Most, if not all, of us have been or are where you are and can relate to the highs and lows of trying to lose weight and get healthy. I know it seems hopeless and too hard and such a long journey, but you know what? You are stronger than the food. Take each day, each meal, each moment as it comes even as you plan for the future. Celebrate your successes but don't dwell on your stumbles. :hug:

01-27-2010, 12:17 AM
As LitChick said, you have gotten some really great advice already and I'm not sure I have much new to add, but here's my .02 anyhow.

I used to have a major soda issue too, I drank 8-12 mountain dew a day. For me quiting cold turkey worked best (I had tried weaning many times). I just switched over to crystal light (actually the wal-mart brand because it's cheaper - cherry limeade is my fav, it tastes like melted ice pops).

The freezer section is your friend. Frozen veggies are much cheaper than fresh and generally more nutritious and tastier than canned. You can also find frozen fruits there. Most stores around here have a discounted meat section where they put the stuff they need to sell in the next day or two or it will have to be thrown out. Look for that and sometimes you can find decently healthy meats there, just make sure you either use it or freeze it right away since it will be close to it's use or freeze by date. Dry beans - these are extremely healthy and very cheap. Rice is pretty cheap, though do try to stick to brown as much as you can. If you are able to then shop around. If you can't shop around then get the sale papers and head to wal-mart, they will match any price on an identical item (sometimes they make you prove the other stores price, so actually take the sale ads with you). If you want red meat try looking for a hunter who is selling off extra game - you can probably get a good price and game meat is generally much leaner than store bought. Make sure you buy store brand or generic as often as you can - they are usually the same thing anyhow. Look at some things that you wouldn't think of as health food. I eat the wal-mart version of rice chex because I looked at the nutrition label and discovered it was better than my special k and I could have an additional 1/4 cup for the same calories. I cook a lot of things with the wal-mart brand spray oils instead of regular oil. A really great and cheap snack I frequently have is microwave air popped popcorn. I but the old fashioned kernals that are really cheap and put a few in a brown lunch bag, fold the top, and then microwave just like microwave popcorn - no oil. Sometimes I spray a tiny bit of butter flavored cooking spray on it and toss in some herbs or spices.

As for the getting help, have you ever considered Overeaters Anonymous? There are meetings all over the place or you can get help online. You can find them at www.oa.org

And most importantly Redreine :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: :hug:

On a side note: About quitting things cold turkey not working - it's sorta true and sorta not. Yes, quitting cold turkey is hard and in the short term often not successful for many people. However, if you can manage to get past the short term by quitting cold turkey then you are more likely to stay quit for good. Take smoking for instance, of the people who manage to stay quit, 80-90% of them quit cold turkey. I'm sorry, smoking is the only one I have the actual numbers for.

01-27-2010, 01:33 AM
Ideas for the soda issue?
I like to mix ginger ale in varying amounts with juices and frozen fruits so at the very least I'm getting a tiny little fibre and vitamin.
Maybe you could move to club soda mixed with juices if you like the carbonation and not the calories?
Maybe these ideas are just fun and not cost effective. Anyways just ideas. *hugs*

01-27-2010, 07:32 AM

I too was one of those people who knew how to lose weight, but couldn't apply it to my real life. But you will. You need to make a conscious effort. I was addicted to fast food (Mexican) and Dr. Pepper (fountain drinks at work). And it sucked to stop. I didn't cook so it was easier to just go to the drive through, even though I'd have to work overtime to afford those meals. I'd buy fruits and veggies, and a week later throw them in the trash because they went bad and I never got around to using them. But it's changed for me and no doubt for you too.

So first step. Dr. Pepper.....ever had diet Dr. Pepper? It's love. It tastes just like the real thing, yet no calories. Just by making a little step like this helps you cut out the calories.

Fast food. You could limit yourself, if you don't think you can cut it out completely why don't you allow yourself to have it once a week. And before going look at the menu and calories and make better decisions.

I was in your situation. I was 21 when I started, at 286 lbs. But over time I believed in myself. That I could do it. And I have. I'm soooooo not perfect. I struggle, but in the end I want to lose weight more than I want the instant satisfaction of cookies and chips. YOU CAN DO IT! Don't let your mindset be your downfall.

01-27-2010, 10:11 AM
I found the eating healthy on $25. a week thread (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/whole-foods-lifestyle/189143-healthy-eating-25-week.html)

You have some great ideas here for eating healthy on a budget. I really love jigglefree's post about it. I am going to follow some of her suggestions!

01-27-2010, 01:01 PM
Thanks for the directions to the budget friendly meals ladies.

01-27-2010, 01:19 PM
:hug: As you've read by other posters, there are solutions to the budget, exercise and soda problems - but you knew that already. There is something going on in your mind that's not letting you be successful.

I truly hope that this is your turning point.

I would advise you to get professional help for the depression/self-esteem issues. It can make an amazing difference. I am living proof!! I am not comfortable posting all of the things that I needed help with, but let's say it was pretty rough. I learned to re-direct my thoughts, to question others' evaluations of me and my allowance to let them evaluate me. The biggest thing that I learned was that when I do the right things for myself (standing up to others that want to manipulate, abuse or treat me as inferior), I feel so strong. The first time I was literally crying, shaking and almost threw up. It was hard, but I took that step. I NEVER thought I could do that, but I did. I didn't magically have enough respect for myself to do it, most of it came after I did it. But the next time, it was easier and then easier still. Now I am pretty darn good at it. I don't know why you are depressed, I can only speak for myself, but I can say that taking that first step, regardless of the result - just taking the step, is enough to make you feel on top of the world. It gave the confidence boost I needed to start tackling all of the weak areas in my life.

You are a beautiful person inside and out, worthy of love and respect from others and yourself just because you are you. No conditions or attachments. Please know this!

Start taking the steps that you need to get better. Whether it's a scared, teary phone call to a counseling center, an afternoon crying with your boyfriend and being honest about where you are emotionally, a stubborn resolve to find a way to eat healthily on any budget, an exercise session or maybe keeping a journal. You've already taken the first step - coming here and telling us. Let them multiply, take the next step and the next. One at a time. I truly believe that once we get our heads on straight, the rest comes together a lot more effortless than we thought.

Permanent weight loss is possible and you deserve it! Choose to be healthy mentallly and physically. Yes, mental health is a choice, too.

It's such a better place on the other side of things. Come and see it! See yourself choosing foods that nourish your body, see yourself overcoming food addictions, see yourself looking in the mirror and loving yourself, see yourself holding your head high no matter what your weight is, see yourself feeling better immediately because you know you are making the right choices and capable of making the right choices. I learned that I don't have to wait until I get to goal to be happy and feel better about myself. That part happened in about a week. Just 7 days, I felt more confident, happier and more in control over my own health. I know the weight loss will take time, but I can choose happiness now. You are worth this. Choose it - c'mon! Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, one step at a time.


01-27-2010, 02:27 PM
I don't think there is anything I can add here that wasn't already convered by the wonderful people of 3fcs.

Sometimes I think it is good to master just 1 positive health change before tackling the others so you don't feel like it is too much and you can't adapt to the changes. I used to be addicted to pop too and would often drive a 2 liter of coke like it was water.

I drink diet soda. There are people who will tell you that you shouldn't, but it has worked for me. In fact, I like the diet Dr. Pepper as it seems to be the diet version that tastes like the sugar filled real thing.

Good luck to you.

Post here whenever you are feeling down and discouraged. Post here when you are feeling good and making positive changes. Just keep posting!

01-27-2010, 04:54 PM
:hug: yeah, it can be hard and scary. I got up to 330 (the 320 on my ticker comes from a later time). I was depressed, had health problems, not a lot of money. and it can feel like a catch 22: I'm depressed so I don't feel like tackling the weight problems; the weight problems are making me depressed.

I know it's not easy or simple. I agree finding a counselor might be a good place to start. he or she could help you with a game plan.

and lots of good advice here. we're all rooting for you!

01-28-2010, 04:12 AM
Why not choose your battles. If you like Dr. Pepper- what about Diet Dr. Pepper? I love that stuff. I don't drink a ton of it, so I buy a bunch of 12 packs when they are on sale (about $3.33, or 30 cents per can) and stock them up. You shouldn't feel you have to sacrifice everything to be healthy- just make the changes that you can. It is very possible to make it through the month on $239 eating healthy foods- but you may have to get in the habit of making things from scratch, and limiting produce to what's in season.

01-28-2010, 08:48 AM
I just said a prayer for you and I will continue to pray for you.

01-28-2010, 11:09 AM
I just had a conversation with a friend of mine that made me immediately think of this thread. I have no idea what kind of health insurance you have, but if you do have insurance available to you then you might consider asking, the worst they can do is tell you no. I'm sorry, I'm rambling, but the idea is exciting to me. My friend is very over weight, his medical charts have him labeled "super morbidly obese". He and his doctor are working on getting the insurance company to pay for a gym membership and give him a stipend or vouchers or something to help with the healthy food that is so much more expensive. It looks like it might actually go through! Apparently what the doc did was write very specific prescriptions for exercise and a specific diet. He has Blue Cross, but I say no matter the company, asking can't hurt. I already have a free gym (military), but I may talk to the insurance people about this grocery stipend/voucher idea.

02-01-2010, 11:17 AM
Tears are starting to well up in my eyes. :)


02-01-2010, 02:20 PM
I just wanted to say you are brave and strong to post this and ask for help! You are definitely going to get control of these issues!

It took me two years but I finally gave up fast food (something I was SURE I could NEVER do) and Coke (I too was addicted). Cold turkey was the way I did it because I just had to battle through for a couple weeks and then it got easier. But the headaches are bad coming off soda. So you may want to try buying CANS of Dr Pepper and allowing yourself one can per day for a week or two and then cutting it out completely.

As for the expensive healthy eating, it *can* be but doesn't have to be. I wrote a blog about this recently. If you look online or in the ads at the store before you go, you can buy whatever produce is on sale that week. Such as right now most of my local stores have broccoli and cauliflower for 99 cents a pound, and last week I got grapefruits 5 for $1! There's always a couple things on sale and you can buy a bunch of veggies and steam them and freeze it for later. When onions, peppers, etc go on sale I buy a ton, chop them, and freeze them for later. Same with meat... whatever lean meat is on sale I buy and freeze some for later.

Also, dried beans are SO cheap. Go buy bags of various types of dry beans, lentils, split peas, and brown rice. They are what I lived off of when I was in poverty but they are also a basis for my healthy diet NOW. You can throw beans in the crock pot or soak them overnight and cook them, and then you can freeze some for later. Eggs are a cheap healthy protein. Bulk oatmeal is a cheap healthy breakfast (cooked whole wheat is a nice breakfast as well). Cans of tuna go on sale 3/$1.

You can do it! Let us know how it goes!

02-01-2010, 02:32 PM
I have no great wisdom, other than to tell you I KNOW how you feel. I know completely how you feel. I myself still can't believe I'm still going and it's been like 3 or 4 weeks. I usually give up for all the same reasons, but I know I really want to make it. Despite the depression and anxitey. I'm sticking with it. I just don't know why at this point, cuz I have the same exact feelings as you do. You will get through this. You have to find what works for you, I still haven't found a 100% plan that works for me yet, I'm still searching. Trying a million different things. Good Luck. Sending Hugs :hug:

02-01-2010, 02:34 PM
Tears are starting to well up in my eyes. :)


YAY! So glad to see you back. I worried after you didn't post for a bit.

I hope today finds you happier and stronger! :hug:

02-01-2010, 03:23 PM
I just wanted to give you a hug. :hug: All I can say is, "I understand". Sometimes just knowing that you are not alone can be a big help. If there was a magic wand, I'd wave it for you (and all of us here). If there was a "trick" or a tip I could give you to help, I'd do it too. Unfortunately, there isn't...or if there is, I still haven't found it. I had it once...I lost it; I am still looking. There is a fight that starts to well up in you and for each one of us the trigger is something different. You WILL find it; all of us struggling WILL find it. I just want to give you a hug and whisper, "You are not alone."

One of my favourite songs is "The Depression Suite" by the Tragically Hip. In that song, there is a phrase that gets repeated that I want to share with you:
"Are you going through something? Are you going through something? Then I; I am too..." :hug: We are all in this together.

02-01-2010, 04:19 PM
My starting point wasn't that far off from yours and my finishing goal isn't that far off from yours. I know where you're coming from. It seems really hard and daunting at the starting line but the best way to go is very very gradual. Instead of starting with jillian michaels screaming at you from the tv, start with doing 10 minutes of walking a day, then 20, then 30. Park your car a little away, drink one less can of soda a day rather than cut it out cold turkey all at once. Swap some chips for rye crackers, don't put cheese on your sandwich. Little tiny steps at a time. Thanks the way I did it.

02-01-2010, 04:55 PM
quitting soda headaches - This last time I didn't get the problem for whatever reason, but I have had major headaches other times that I quit. The best solution I found was to switch to coffee. I bought both regular and decaf and mixed them. Slowly I put more decaf than regular until it was all decaf and then I just quit drinking the coffee. Bonus: coffee is a lot cheaper than soda.

I didn't think to tell you about that idea until I saw Lyn post about switching to cans. Does Dr. Pepper have those little tiny cans? If so and you decide to do the can thing then maybe allowing yourself 2 of those a day instead of one regular size might keep the headaches away better because it would be easier to space it out over the day without it going flat. Then you can move down to one, then 1/2, etc.

better health3
02-01-2010, 06:10 PM
I got up to 268 pounds because I was drinking 8 Pepsis a day and unlimited fast food, chinese buffets, and pizza. I was killing myself doing this and moving very little. I couldn't even walk for 15 minutes. It was awful. I have depression as well, so you are not alone.

I would recommend starting small and pick 3 goals each week to work on. Any more than that is overwhelming. You need to make an action plan so you can see what steps you are going to take to reach your goals.

I lost 60 pounds and walked up to 6 miles.:D So, it is doable. Simple, yet not easy.

The fast food I decreased considerablly. I don't eat Chinese buffets anymore.

You have to find the substitutions for the food that you like.

For example, turkey burgers or Morningstar FarmsŪ GrillersŪ Original instead of the ff hamburgers, substitute baby carrots , celery, or sliced cucumbers instead of fries with a Diet Dr. Pepper. Have a piece of fruit for dessert. You will be full.

It is also easier on Sunday to cook in bulk. Make a salad and cut up the salad and veggies so they are ready to go. Cook the brown rice, chicken breast, pork tenderloin, top round steak, or whatever. Have it ready, so you won't make excuses.

Sure, it is a shock to the tastebuds, but you can do it if you are miserable enough. You aren't stuck, nor are you a victim.

Seek your physician or get counseling for the depression. The exercise will raise your endorphins and help you feel better. Get a pedometer and track your steps. Work up to 10,000 a day. I wouldn't start with Jillian Michaels. The Walk Away the Pounds videos are better to start add Jillian later...they are cheap at Wal-mart or Amazon. Check the YMCA in your area. They offer financial assistance if you qualify.

The Beck Solution Diet Solution is a good book to change your thinking. You can check it out at your local library.

Take before pictures of the front, side, and back of you with a jog bra and pair of shorts, or in a swim suit. Take your before measurements...bust, waist, l/r arm, hips, l/r thigh, calves, and neck.

Write your 3 goals and post them on your fridge with your worst before pic. On a 3X5, write down your goals....one for nightstand, one for purse, keep one in the car(when tempted to eat fast food, read it), and one for the bathroom. It is hard to stay in denial when you see your measurements and pics.

Join one of the accountability threads here to keep you on track. It is what you do most of the time that helps.

Don't let your negative voice talk you out of doing this. You are capable and it is doable.

I have no self-control or self-discipline, obviously.

That is a lie. Of course you do. You just haven't used it. It is a matter of small baby steps. Most of the weight loss winners started at the exact same place you have. We don't get to be this obese with exhibiting discpline and self-control. You are no different than the success stories. They did whatever it took and didn't make excuses.

Good luck. It is really a matter of trial and error to see what works for you. It is highly individual. :hug:

better health3
02-01-2010, 07:12 PM
I forgot one of the most important parts. Make a list of WHY you want to change. What do you hate about being obese? Reread it when you are feeling weak.

02-06-2010, 12:23 PM
I've switched to Diet Coke from Dr. Pepper, and it's been working well for me. :)

I also sub in water. Eventually it will be nothing but water!

02-06-2010, 03:39 PM
you can get through this, I know it!! I used to be addicted to Dr. Pepper too... Now I only drink diet sodas- especially diet dr pepper and diet mountain dew! It still tastes mostly the same;) And I will look for only the frozen meals that are on sale at Wal-Mart and go to the grocery stores that have the best deals that week for produce, meat, etc... Just make a list and stick to it. Menu planning works wonders!

02-06-2010, 04:08 PM
I drink diet soda too!! I recommend diet mtn dew, diet sunkist!! Ginger ale is about the same too I think. Baby steps.... :hug:

02-06-2010, 04:18 PM
Diet Coke has always been my second favorite drink, outside of Dr. Pepper. <3