I feel guilty when I see the threads about binging or going off the diet. I remember how I felt on the low-calorie diets, and how that hunger was just impossible to ignore. And I remember how awful I felt when I "failed" at the diet.
I feel guilty when I see those threads because I have it so easy now. I never in a million years could have believed that I could lose weight and still eat delicious food and stay satisfied rather than hungry all the time.
I feel guilty that I'm losing weight in such an easy, pain-free way, when people are out there who are struggling the way I used to and going through the pain I used to go through.
No, I don't feel guilty - because I'm not hiding any "secret" from anyone. I share with anyone who asks (and quite a few who don't).
I'm not losing fast for a lot of reasons, but I am losing "easy." I don't feel like I'm starving, or even that I'm on a "diet." I'm just living my life in the way that works better for me than I once did.
You can't make anyone learn what you've learned, or be in life where you are. You might as well feel guilty for having a desk job when other people have to work manual labor. Or feeling guilty that you're not in jail or that you don't have a terminal illness - because some people are and do.
Feeling compassion for those in a different situation is something else. I feel compassion for many folks who don't have the skills, knowledge, or advantages that I have. The best I can do is communicate what I've learned when I can (and when it's appropriate to do so).
Thanks, Kaplods, that's a good way of seeing things! I don't feel so guilty now. I found the magic key, and I hope someday others who are struggling will find it, too.
Because I'm scared I'll make people angry if I try to offer advice! I won't mind telling them how I did it, though if they ask me, once I've lost all my excess weight, I mean.
I think I'm one of the people you probably feel sorry for. I have my ups and downs, but I'm a food addict and it's not easy for me. I was very good from Halloween until a few days ago and then, in 3 days, I put on 5 lbs. (some of which is probably water). I'm trying to be back on track today, but your post caught my eye. I WISH I could find something that takes that struggle away but I haven't found anything. I count calories and that has really worked for me and it's good overall, but it doesn't really seem easy.
I can't do Atkins. I've tried it before but it gave me a massive headache. I now suffer from chronic daily migraines so if I do something like that, I'll be a complete mess....and I have 2 kids and a hubby that depend on me.
I'm going to keep plugging along, but my point is that even though I know about Atkins and it works great for many, not everyone can do it....unless I'm wrong?
Well, I am not a carb counter but nope, I never ever feel guilty. And like Kaplods, I definitely will answer questions from those that ask--in fact, I would/will go above and beyond.
Plenty of people struggle with Atkins too. In fact, I have numeous, numerous friends that have done it off and on for years--some would do it again, some would not. I have done it but it isn't the right thing for me.
Congrats on finding what works for you--but simply, no one plan is the plan for everyone.
Hi, LuckyMommy! Oh, migraines are awful! My husband gets those and he has medicine now that really helps him, but it was awful seeing him in pain before he got the medicine that worked for him.
I just feel like...dieting is supposed to be horrible. I mean that's the way it always was for me. It was pure torture. And I could never endure it for very long. This is just the first time I ever found something that felt like living a regular, happy life, instead of torture. And I feel guilty that I found my magic key, when others are still searching for theirs. I hope everyone will find a way to diet that is easy, and that doesn't feel like torture, and that helps them be healthier.
I was a carb addict, I'm sure of it, looking back now - I lived on poptarts, fries, toast with jam, that sort of thing. I just could not practice moderation with those foods, I binged all the time. This is working for me because it's gotten me away from the foods that were binge foods for me. For me it's easier just to avoid pancakes and syrup altogether, rather than trying to have just a bit of it.
But I'm having some survivor guilt I think. I feel bad for anyone who is still struggling to find the path that is best for them.
I think it is important not to assume that the path we're on, is right for everyone. Our "easy way," isn't necessarily right or easy for other folks. We can end up feeling sorry for folks who aren't feeling sorry for themselves. Hubby and I have a lot of freinds who feel sorry for us because we don't and can't have children. More correctly, we shouldn't have children because of our health problems. Under different circumstances I might have happily had children (I have nothing against having children), but I'm satisfied with my childless life. Hubby and I will have a different life than we would have had with children, but not necessarily a better or worse one. So our friends with children do not have to pity us (or we them).
I learned alot from Atkins, but I can't follow the plan as written, because my hunger signals are so unreliable that I can't use hunger as my guide as the plan requires. I can stall on induction, because I'll eat too much of the allowed foods, so I use a low-carb exchange plan. My problem with the exchange plan is that I don't stick to it as well as I should.
I'm not jealous of people who can and do lose weight faster, better, easier - so I don't want anyone feeling guilty.
I'm enjoying my life, and all of the other things I put my energies into. Losing weight is just part of the package that is my life. Hubby and I are on disability and have a bunch of health problems that many of our friends feel worse about than we do. They think we must be miserable with all of the things that we've had to deal with. But, I look at their lives and see that we're happier and more content with our lives than some of them are.
I think you're right that we're taught that dieting is supposed to be absolute torture. It's taken me a couple years to lose my 80 lbs. Someone might think that I'm to be pitied for it taking so long - but I look at it this way - I'm choosing to take the easiest route for me - and for me the easiest route is very slow.
If I want to lose weight faster, I could put more effort into it (and this year I plan on), but no one has to feel sorry for me if I've chosen or continue to choose a slower route than they're choosing.
There are so many choices we have in our life, and so many variables that determine our priorities in making those choices, and our satisfaction with those choices that comparing our choices to other people's choices is often unfair.
In fact often, sympathy is misplaced and we can feel sorry for someone who is very happy with their own choices. It's rather arrogant in some respects to feel pity for someone who may be perfectly happy with their life. And the person you pity, may pity you in return (and both of you would be wrong in assuming that the other is deserving of pity).
Thanks, Kaplod! That gives me something to think about!
I'm so glad that you have a good life, and a happy life, in spite of the hard times that life throws at all of us.
You know, maybe other people aren't as miserable as I was on the low-cal diets anyway, because I think other people don't have the problems with carbs that I have. It's just how my body is, I think. Even when I was a kid, I'd binge on candy.
So probably when I'm there thinking they feel exactly like I felt on a low-cal diet, maybe they aren't nearly as miserable, because their body is different and has different reactions than mine.
It is an easy mistake to make, to start thinking that what works for you, works for everyone....
I would like to clarify that true binging (or binge eating disorder) often doesn't really have anything to do with hunger. It's a coping mechanism set off by emotional triggers. Low carb, no carb, all carb all the time - it doesn't matter to the binge eater. The pain and struggle you see in those binging threads isn't solved by picking a different eating plan. It would be nice though if it was that easy!
Oh! I didn't know. What is it called, what I was doing? Just sort of garden variety overeating? I think there is something weird with my insulin, I think I get low blood sugar right away when I eat something with a high glycemic index, and I have a hard time resisting that hunger because it feels really overwhelming.
Carb addiction (or insulin and blood sugar issues) can cause (or at least mimic) bulimia, and other binging disorders quite well.
For years, I assumed I was a compulsive and emotional overeater. I ate in response to stress. I ate ridiculous amounts of food, and by all appearances had a binge disorder.
I tried support groups, mental health counseling - I even think I chose psychology as my field (earning a B.A. and an M.A.) to try to figure myself out.
I was given a variety of explanations for my binging (the most popular "abandonment issues" from being adopted as an infant).
When I started taking birth control pills, the binges became less frequent, and when I stopped crash dieting, the uncontrollable major binges stopped. still had problems with overeating on a smaller scale with high-carb foods. On a low carb diet, I'm less hungry and less food-obsessed. But to all outward appearances I had a severe binge disorder and then suddenly didn't.
I suppose you could say that I didn't have a "true" binge eating disorder, but outwardly, I sure had all the symptoms. No one following me around 24/7 would have called it anything else. I overate in response to emotional stress. I ate ridiculous amounts of food to self-medicate and make myself feel better (in the short term). I went through the binge/purge cycles (even tried to make myself throw up, but never got the hang of that for it to work reliably, so I crash dieted instead).
I wonder how many people (like I did) assume they have a severe emotional problem, when their eating disorder is actually being caused by a physiological response to sugar/insulin.
Also while my solution is simple, it isn't easy. Low-carb dieting is a cure (or at least a treatment) for my binge disorder, but following a low-carb diet has social and cultural complications. Everyone tells you how unhealthy your diet is. Carbohydrates are hard to avoid and are constantly being pushed by well-meaning friends and relatives as celebration foods (and you're a party-pooper and a spoil sport if you don't indulge with everyone else)...
I think carb-addiction (whether it's a true "addiction" or not) is it's own eating disorder, and the solution really is as simple as a change of eating plan -
I feel guilty
I found the magic key, and I hope someday others who are struggling will find it, too.
I have my ups and downs, but I'm a food addict and it's not easy for me. I was very good from Halloween until a few days ago and then, in 3 days, I put on 5 lbs. (some of which is probably water). I'm trying to be back on track today, but your post caught my eye. I WISH I could find something that takes that struggle away but I haven't found anything. I count calories and that has really worked for me and it's good overall, but it doesn't really seem easy. 
