Dieting with Obstacles - I slipped up and I hate myself for it

01-21-2010, 01:20 PM
Please read the following blog post. It's a bit of a novel but I could really use the support/help. I'm trying my hardest not to spiral out of control.

01-21-2010, 01:55 PM
That's a horrible day, but the best part is that it's over. You can go on and not let this derail you. We all have bad days and those don't define us. What defines us is how we get back up.

Be grateful that you're able to see that you're backsliding after one day, as opposed to 10 days. Be grateful that you only gained 3 pounds (which dosen't even count, you'll get rid of those so quick!) and not 20. This isn't the worst thing in the world, it's not even the worst this this year. Don't let yourself keep spiraling down, catch yourself now and be grateful that you did and that you can.

You're doing a great job and you'll keep doing a great job, just get back on the horse and be grateful!

01-21-2010, 02:27 PM
Cheri's right, it is great that you got back on track so quickly. Slip-ups are going to happen but recognizing that you are the one in control, that what is important.

01-21-2010, 02:31 PM
To have gained 3 lbs overnight of pure fat you'd have had to eat/drink 10,500 calories OVER what your body needs to maintain. I somehow doubt that happened. Restaurant food is typically high in salt and I imagine you are retaining water.

My only concern about your post is that you made yourself throw up. If you start getting the urge to do that too often, you might want to seek counseling. In fact, you might want to see a counselor anyway to help you with your emotion/food relationship. They can give you the tools to make your journey easier. I'm a firm believer that everyone needs counseling at some point in their lives. It's not like we're born knowing how to navigate every situation in life. Sometimes another perspective and a neutral person to talk to is very helpful.

Don't beat yourself up about this. :hug: One day doesn't mean the end of the world, it's just a day. Start back up again and continue on. You can do it!

01-21-2010, 02:53 PM
Please, give yourself the love and respect you would give others. Would you HATE your best friend for eating too much of a calzone (any time, let alone after an emotional break-up)?

What would you tell a good friend who came to you with something like this?

Why aren't you being a friend to yourself? Why treat yourself like the enemy?

I truly believe that part of the secret of gaining control over undesired eating is taking the "crime" out of it. I think it makes it easier to "get back on the horse that threw you," when you don't hate yourself and the horse for the fall.

It was a mistake, not an unpardonable sin or crime (and certainly not worthy of self-hatred and contempt). One day doesn't make a person fat - or thin. And making mistakes is always part of learning. Sure you try to learn from and avoid repeating mistakes, but turning loose hatred upon yourself?

Try to remember to be your best friend. When you start hating on yourself, ask yourself how you would treat a friend (or even a stranger).

It's hard enough to succeed when you don't have the support of family and friends; if even you aren't on your side, how are you going to get where you want to be?

Be kinder to yourself. That doesn't mean you ignore mistakes, but help yourself in the way you'd help a friend - give yourself a pep talk, think about ways to prevent similar situations, find ways to help and encourage yourself rather than tear yourself down.

Hang in there, and try to see a friend in the mirror, not an enemy.

01-21-2010, 02:54 PM
Don't beat yourself up!!!! Just dust yourself off and keep trying....You can do this!!!

01-21-2010, 02:54 PM
TAMI ~ I left this comment on your blog but am repeating it here too ...

Try not to be so hard on urself over this; most everyone has slip-ups on their journey towards good health. Learn from it and continue on today. You canít gain 3 lbs of fat in one day; only retain water, so that will go in a few days. You can even out your week just by doing better today! Focus on one day at a time, and it wonít seem so daunting! Maybe try to find another place to dine out; one that offers healthier meals like steak or chicken breast & salad. Make that your plan from now on Ö (((hugs)))

I think I have one day a week where I eat a bit more than I wanted to but over time, I have learned to LIMIT THE DAMAGE by setting aside so many calories each day and weekend for those times, and by choosing better snacks. The last one I had was dark chocolate-covered almonds, but becuz I was under for the day, even with having them; I still stayed on plan.

Of course, they weren't the worst thing I could have had, as you know, as they are only 25 calories each. I am getting better at this as time goes on, and so will you; practice really does make perfect ... :hug:

01-21-2010, 03:48 PM
For starters let me start by saying thank you all of you for the support and kind words!

Cheri: You're right, I will lose it. But it was frustrating that the scale went the opposite way. I understand that it may be water retention and all. Just frustrated and trying to stick with it.

zenor77: I'm currently seeing a counselor but we're not discussing my my eating... more my anger issues. Ironic huh?

kaplods: I hate the fact that I let myself slip. That's all. I've been so strong, just disappointed is all!

Justwant2Bhealthy: You're right. Practice does make perfect. I appreciate all you said the only problem with finding a new place is that I really <3 the place. lol

01-21-2010, 05:24 PM
exactly, the important thing is that you got back up. who hasn't??

01-21-2010, 06:19 PM
Does your favorite place have healthier choices on the menu?

Lori Bell
01-21-2010, 06:38 PM
I don't blame you for being upset with yourself. Seriously, you have every right to be ticked off as ****. You see, I'm a lot different than most people, I think this world is becoming too soft. Don't be mad, be happy...oh brother...ugh. You know some schools won't even give a kid an "F" because it might make them feel bad. You screwed up, and you're paying the price. Thankfully, with all loved ones, you will eventually forgive yourself and move past this. But it is OKAY to be mad. It IS OKAY TO BE MAD.

The minute I stop getting mad at myself for binging is the day I'm on the road straight back to mental **** AND morbid obesity. Get mad! Then do something about it. (As you are.)

01-21-2010, 07:53 PM
There's a big difference between getting angry and frustrated with a mistake and saying "I hate myself."

If you'd killed someone, maybe a little self-hatred is a good thing, but slipped up on your diet? Really? That's a crime worthy of self-hatred? Yikes, what do you do to yourself if you realize that you've done something careless or selfish that hurt someone you care about - poke out an eye?

I know you said that you mean that you're disappointed and hate that you slipped - that's an important distinction (but it's not what you originally said).

Hatred is a strong emotion, and the emotion and the word shouldn't be used lightly. I know it often is, but I believe in saying what you mean, and meaning what you say, because words have power. When you say "I hate myself," even when you don't mean it literally, it becomes true if you say it often enough.

If self-anger works for you, then use it, but I've seen it backfire more often than it works. Picking yourself up after making a mistake is the important part, how you "feel" about it doesn't matter nearly as much as what you DO about it.

When I was a probation officer, I met probationees who weren't at all sorry for what they'd done to get on probation - yet they were determined not to make the same mistake again because they didn't like the legal consequences. I also had people on probation who were very sorry and angry at themselves for screwing up - and yet they made the same screw ups over and over again (remorseful and full of self-contempt every time).

Unless the emotions are helping you change your behavior (and if they are, more power to you) they're a complete waste of your time.

01-21-2010, 09:36 PM
Lori Bell.. I really like you!!

01-22-2010, 03:24 AM
I agree with Kaplods for sure. Hating yourself won't really fix anything. Look at what happened and file it away with other mistakes to learn from. So you slipped up.. it's no big deal in the grand scheme of things. You now know the result of that and can make a wiser choice next time it comes around.

01-22-2010, 03:40 AM
Lemon---I did the SAME thing yesterday! Pigged out on Mexican...and my scale was also up 3lbs today...ITS OK! like others have said, you acknowledge, it's only water weight...may take a few days to get rid of, but it WILL come off...if you get back on track...i'm a firm believer of "if you want it, eat it---don't say you CAN'T have it" just try to eat it in moderation, but if you slip and over eat (like the calzone...i've done the same thing before) you learn from it and realize you over ate (like you have) then you get right back on track the next is good that you were able to admit all those things you wrote about...and then ask all of us to're brave and i'm sure a very strong woman! so get back on track and keep on truckin! like others have said, it was only ONE day!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!

01-22-2010, 12:45 PM
Krista, your comment means more to me than you realize! It's nice to know that everyone slips up once in a while. It is very hard for me going on this weight loss journey alone. I don't have support like most of you, this is my support! I appreciate and respect every single one of you. I can't say this enough, but thank you again!