Alternachicks - Question for lesbians and bi chicks




FitGirlyGirl
01-20-2010, 07:01 PM
I look at other women who are about my size and shape and frequently think lude and lascivious thoughts :o. I find other women of my general body shape to be very attractive Then I look at me and think, blech I'm fat! What the heck? There is something wrong with this situation. Then I feel worse because of this odd disconnect I have going on here. It is a mean vicious cycle of self judging and confusion. Anyone else have this issue? Anyone have any luck sorting it out?


itsjess1920
01-20-2010, 07:13 PM
It's kind of similar. I'm not really into skinny girls, but I want to be skinny. I wonder why that is?

Kellye
01-20-2010, 08:40 PM
I think this is actually a lot more common than you would believe. I am a fairly active member of the 'fat acceptance' community, and there is an odd dynamic in place in a lot of relationships.

You see a lot of bodybuilder types going after bigger girls, finding the curves and shape, softness etc enticing. It might be the contrast, it might be an admiration of the indulgence that the women obviously give in to.

Who knows? But it isn't weird at all, or even that rare. tbh, it boils down to the fact that we don't control what we find to be beautiful, we only know the urge to connect with what has become sexualized for us.

I myself dig a curvy girl, I don't like the rail thin type.


fiveminutes
01-21-2010, 12:59 PM
i think it just depends on what you are attracted to. i don't like skinny girls. don't find them attractive, i feel like i would break them if i gave them a hug. i like girls who "have meat on their bones" a woman who is healthy, and i tend to lean towards HWP people, but to me, that is healthy, which is where i want to be.

Leontina
01-23-2010, 02:38 PM
I find this happening as well, it's kinda weird to me, but you can't help what's attractive to you :)
But yeah...I have low confidence anyway, so that's probably a reason as to why, and I think you look better the more confidence you have (not always)

bbigham
01-27-2010, 12:21 AM
Well, to be perfectly frank, at my age I don't get lewd and lascivious thoughts very often -- too exhausting! Besides, I've been with my partner for nearly 24 years and haven't touched another woman in all that time. I still love looking at her -- fat dimples and all!

BUT ... as I grew older, I found that a woman's size was less and less relevant to me.

One of the most beautiful women I knew was extremely overweight (5'4" or so and probably close to 250 lbs). She was one of the most compassionate, funny, generous and loving people you'd ever meet. I was her friend for more than two decades and when she died last November, it was a real wake up call for me. I know her weight was a major factor in her death.

So, to me, losing weight doesn't necessarily equate with being more attractive, but simply to staying around longer and being healthier.

Having said all that high-faluting stuff ... I have to admit that I do NOT find very very skinny women attractive at all. Or the real body builder types. So, I suppose I *do* consider physical looks a part of attractiveness after all.

FitGirlyGirl
01-27-2010, 11:05 AM
Well for me I don't think there's an age factor. Even as a teen I preferred plumper girls. One of the girls I dated in high school was 4'11" and though she would never tell anyone the actual number on the scale I'm guessing she was somewhere between 250 and 300 at the time. Even then I worried about her health, but to me she was gorgeous. I've never had much success with weight loss before now though, so I've never had to deal with this confusing double standard I apparently hold.

Another crazy thing - while I am still not attracted to the real skinny girls or the over the top body builder types, the somewhat muscled women have become more and more attractive to me the more fit I become. Before this journey began I would never have been attracted to people with a Jillian Michaels type body, now I find her and others built like her rather hot (still not as much as a chubby girl though - hehe). For me it's happening with men too. I used to be kinda grossed out by men built like Vin Diesel. The other night I actually said "you know, he's kinda cute there". ACK!! What's happening to me? LOL

Technosexual
01-27-2010, 05:53 PM
I wouldn't consider myself bi-sexual, but, I do find other females sexually attractive; Just not to the point that I would want to have sex with them. ( Although, I have experimented. )

Anyway, as for me, I actually like the skinny girls. Something about them pleases me. They often look very fragile, and delicate. Yum!

Funny enough, I also like heavy girls. I guess I'm just easy to please!

( Of course, it all boils down to how they carry themselves, confidence, and their overall "style." )

Forgot to mention... The bodybuilders scare me. LOL. Women, and men. They're just too hard, and not aesthetically pleasing!

SamanthaJubilee
01-27-2010, 06:24 PM
I seem to be drawn to women of a specific type. Between 5'7 & 5'10, healthy body (not skinny, not fat) and usually blonde (prefer curly hair).
It isn't that I don't think heavier women are beautiful, because there are some that will knock your socks off, but I just don't prefer that.

Jaimie
01-28-2010, 02:10 AM
I myself hate my body and I'm attracted more to women who have a body similar to the one I want. There are a couple models from SG who are considered plus-sized and they have gorgeous bodies, but they are also toned. But really it comes down to the person, personalities can affect how attractive a woman is.

But honestly, my ideal woman would be between 5'3-6', toned, but not overly skinny, with nice curves. And I'm a sucker for brunettes and redheads.

But really, I'm not picky at all.

Technosexual
01-28-2010, 08:26 AM
I myself hate my body and I'm attracted more to women who have a body similar to the one I want. There are a couple models from SG who are considered plus-sized and they have gorgeous bodies, but they are also toned. But really it comes down to the person, personalities can affect how attractive a woman is.

But honestly, my ideal woman would be between 5'3-6', toned, but not overly skinny, with nice curves. And I'm a sucker for brunettes and redheads.

But really, I'm not picky at all.

I've seen some pretty heavy women who look gorgeous because they've had all of their cellulite airbrushed! LOL! Wish I could airbrush mine out in real life! :carrot:

I definitely agree with the personality thing.

I'm very proud of you for your Suicide Girls goal, by the way. I met a girl in real life who was trying to get her pictures on there. Not sure if she ever did. She was super skinny, but not very attractive in the face. :o

FitGirlyGirl
01-28-2010, 11:43 AM
Jaimie - I hear you on the brunettes and redheads, especially the redheads. If you add green eyes to the red hair then I'm totally hooked.

Amy9
01-28-2010, 11:50 AM
I def. love the meat on the bones look. But, too much meat and I am not interested either. I know, I am not attracted to someone my height and weight. What does this say about me?

britticus
02-03-2010, 01:31 AM
Love the c*ck (hehe)...but when I have hooked up with girls they have always been thin! And I would say closer to the body type I would want....well, i guess that I did have at the time! I think you can be more comfortable when you aren't comparing yourself to the other person. If you just think "we're both hot and this is going to be hot" then you are sure to have a good time :D

JasonsLea
02-03-2010, 02:47 AM
I'm more attracted to smaller girls, not rail thin, but slender and soft with nice curves. It's funny, I like girls who look rather delicate but I like my men tall and buff! :lol:

I third the redheads! Lately I've noticed that I've been drooling over more and more redheads. It's just so sexy to me!

Edit: On the other hand, my current (non celeb :D) girl crush is a thick girl. But really, how can I resist her? She basically oozes sex and is a great kisser! Sorry if that's TMI.

Jaimie
02-03-2010, 08:13 AM
I'm more attracted to smaller girls, not rail thin, but slender and soft with nice curves. It's funny, I like girls who look rather delicate but I like my men tall and buff! :lol:

I third the redheads! Lately I've noticed that I've been drooling over more and more redheads. It's just so sexy to me!

Edit: On the other hand, my current (non celeb :D) girl crush is a thick girl. But really, how can I resist her? She basically oozes sex and is a great kisser! Sorry if that's TMI.


I agree, I like thin women, not rail thin though. I love curves. I'm trying to think off hand of examples, but most are SuicideGirls, lol. Although I do love Scarlett Johannson's body, she's curvy and not overly thin.

The girl that I've been talking to lately isn't super thin either, she's not thick, but she's curvy. I'm really into her though, I love her body although she hates it. She keeps complaining that she needs to lose 25 pounds, but I really don't think it's necessary.

ladyblades
02-15-2010, 04:04 PM
Hi everyone I'm new here and I couldn't resist this thread. I find myself being attracted to women because of their personality as much as their shape but I do have a real thing for redheads too! I guess I'm just a true Pisces...

FitGirlyGirl
02-17-2010, 02:42 PM
Is redhead attraction a Pisces thing? I'm an Aries with Pisces cusp (that's right, I'm steam).

pinkalarmclock
02-18-2010, 10:41 AM
I'm niether bi-sexual or a lesbian but I find other woman attractive all the time. I do not think its that weird, or unusual of a thing. I do have to say that it seems my particular taste is very picky with this. Seems society got to me with the whole woman have to be perfect thing (even though I'm the opposite with my own body)

Crystalx5
02-18-2010, 10:50 AM
I like looking at women who are not super skinny, but not chunky either. I like the thicker frame, because paper thin just doesn't look right to me. I love when a woman has curves- never been with one though- sigh- as much as I would LOVE to try.... tee hee

RockerMommy
02-21-2010, 12:02 AM
I am attracted to all body types even woman my size but generally not bigger but when I look at myself i also get the bleh! feeling... I think is is all a mentally distorted self image really.... but even though I think that I still cant overcome the BLEH!!!

carter
02-23-2010, 12:16 PM
Just saw this thread ... it's an interesting question isn't it. Like many who have posted, I can't say there is one particular type I'm attracted to.

When it comes to attraction to a woman I know, of course, aspects of her personality will override whatever physical characteristics tend to turn my head or not. For example, I'm generally not into blondes, but I had a mad crush on a golden-haired friend of mine for the better part of two years.

As for those characteristics that do or don't attract me in a superficial way - like seeing a stranger in the street or looking at pictures in a magazine - I do tend to like women who are healthy and curvy - not too cut, not too gaunt or bony.

Most of the mainstream beauty standard doesn't do it for me at all - most models are more striking than beautiful to me, and I don't really care for thighs so skinny you can see between them. (I know I'm not alone in this.)

In general I like women who are petite, or at least smaller than I am - it's a butch thing, I like to be able to wrap a woman up in my arms and be strong for her. ;) Having said that, there are some larger women who I have to admit are nevertheless devastatingly sexy - like Queen Latifah. :drool: :love: (And once again, with real people I know, who they are readily overrides what they look like.)

As for my own physical ideal, when I see a woman who looks the way I want to look, I definitely feel drawn and fascinated, but it's not so much being attracted to her as it being attracted to the idea of meeting my potential to look like her. A few years ago I saw a woman who was working at a server in a restaurant whose body was what I imagine (and hope!) mine would look like if I ever got down to my ideal body-fat percentage - wide, strong hips, powerful thighs, big (but not cut) biceps. I couldn't take my eyes off her - but it wasn't so much lust for her, as it was the seductive dream of being like her.

JasonsLea
02-26-2010, 03:46 AM
Is redhead attraction a Pisces thing? I'm an Aries with Pisces cusp (that's right, I'm steam).

I have no idea. I'm a Leo. :)

JasonsLea
02-26-2010, 03:48 AM
As for my own physical ideal, when I see a woman who looks the way I want to look, I definitely feel drawn and fascinated, but it's not so much being attracted to her as it being attracted to the idea of meeting my potential to look like her. A few years ago I saw a woman who was working at a server in a restaurant whose body was what I imagine (and hope!) mine would look like if I ever got down to my ideal body-fat percentage - wide, strong hips, powerful thighs, big (but not cut) biceps. I couldn't take my eyes off her - but it wasn't so much lust for her, as it was the seductive dream of being like her.

I'm the same way. Sometimes, I'll see a girl with the same body type as me, except in way better shape, and I just stare. 9 times out of 10, I'm not thinking of her sexually, I'm daydreaming about fitting into and looking as hot in those same clothes.

Modjeska
02-28-2010, 05:04 PM
I tend to be attracted to women who are the body type I'd like to be, the one I was 15 years ago. Fit and athletic, but still soft and curvy.

cherrybomb
03-12-2010, 03:55 PM
I love fit but curvy women, Laetita Casta (french model) and Angelina Jolie have been crushes of mine since I was a teen. I also think Eliza Dushku is really hot, though she's a bit skinnier than my usual type, but she's a bad-a** so it's hard not to love her.
I however, wish I could be very skinny and flat chested (I was a ballet dancer growing up, so envious of the skinnier dancers since I was curvy even when I was thin). But I wouldn't want to date anyone as skinny as I wish I could be, lol.
I think more than body type it's personality for me; I love women with strong personalities. And if they've got dark hair and dark eyes.... *Swoon*

AstralPhysicist
04-06-2010, 11:03 PM
I am straight, but I do think the pin-up girl look is sexy. That is my ideal. I love the styles from the 20's through the 50's. Curvy women with round behinds and nice breasts, with a small waist. But I think I like that look because I want to look like that.:o

highflyer
04-17-2010, 02:07 AM
I don't really have a weight preference although I've noticed I tend to like women with more curves than anything. However, the more sporty women that you can tell are sporty, that have a smaller body type tend to grab my attention as well. So I guess I tend to find more average, normal sized with a little chub women attractive.

guttergirl78
04-17-2010, 06:13 PM
I'm attracted to different types. Sometimes it depends on my size. Right now I'm more attracted to plumper girls around my frame and I think that's because I wouldn't feel as self-conscious.

When I'm out and I see a "bigger" girl and she looks good and seems confident, I'm envious. I want to be confident in who I am. I think more of what we're attracted to has to do with self reflection either who we are or who we want to be.

chicpanda
05-31-2010, 06:36 AM
I have always been attracted to their minds, not the bodies. I like soft, and don't mind plush women. My former partner was also very obese. Now as an OWL (older wiser lesbian) I look for some one who is interested in me! saves a lot of time.

Irishowl
05-31-2010, 11:55 AM
I don't really have a weight preferance in terms of what attracts me to a woman. My first girlfriend was obese, but so was I. I still found her beautiful and feminine. The care she always took with her makeup and hair intrigued me. I loved her voluptuous curves. My wife is not very feminine but she's the most beautiful woman in the world to me. In the course of our 6 year relationship her weight has fluctuated from 190-250. She's now down to 170 and feeling great. She still has the curves I love, but she's very muscular as well. All that aside I'm more interested in someone's mind and heart. My wife is my best friend and she makes life fun every single day. I wouldn't trade our life together for anything.

Shannon

JuicyBits
06-01-2010, 08:41 PM
Personally, I really don't even look at the body... on anyone... I mean I can admire a nice form like anyone else... But for me it's all in the face... I have to love looking at your face... lol... So really, for me, when it comes down to it... the body means nothing... LOL

However, I think when it comes to our own self-image... We've been fed this load of bull that big isn't all that beautiful... That being skinny is where it's at... And if you like that kind of thing... That's fine... But that doesn't mean that being skinny should be your ultimate goal... I believe in being healthy... Not skinny... but then again... I've been skinny... and now I'm big... so I have a different perspective than some...

I do agree that it's all in the attitude...

ThatJillianGirl
06-04-2010, 08:43 AM
I think I'm not very fussy, LOL! The last girl I was with was bigger than me.. and so beautiful. Plump and gorgeous. I've also been with women who are 5'2" and 110, but still had some curves.. I like it all.. haha =)

MissChief
06-07-2010, 11:24 AM
Plump is good, skinny is not. I like the idea of having a booty to play with. Personality and common sexual interests (tres important) are what I truly look for...

ScarletBloodDoll
06-10-2010, 09:53 AM
Here I thought I was the only one in this sort of thinking.
I have always said that I wanted to be down to a healthy weight where I wasn't showing the outline of bones and the same goes for anyone I date.
I look for an amazing personality and good attitude. I'm terrified that any girl I date that is thin would simply just fall apart of be crushed. I like a woman with curves but as long as she is healthy, that is all that matters.

Noelle85
07-01-2010, 04:12 PM
Huh, I've always wondered the same thing!I've always found women with my shape and bigger, like myself, most attractive. Odd. I thought I was a narcissist.

Bluey
07-03-2010, 09:13 AM
Personally I like sporty butch girls, not buff ones, soft but sporty girls. My beautiful partner is the perfect example of this body type. She is soft and wonderful and sporty. My girl however is a chubby chaser big time ( I know I know I have a fat arse so shouldn't use that term but it fits). Other than one night things she has only ever had relationships with very large women. She does not want me to lose weight but she understands why and has been very supportive so far. :-) she is awesome.

PlaygroundLove
07-16-2010, 05:28 PM
I'm definitely into curvier women-- not super heavy, but maybe with "a few extra pounds." I don't think I could ever date one of those rail-thin girls...I always feel like I might break them somehow.

Rhythm
07-17-2010, 01:08 AM
I'm into older butch women. Like, in their 30s. There's something about them that's really sexy.

livingfire
07-28-2010, 09:14 PM
I want to get the weight off, but I find girls my size incredibly hot. Yeah, crazy I know. I still like slimmer girls too - but i sometimes think that if I met me I'd probably have no problem with my size... but when i AM me, it's different.

Did that actually make ANY sense at all?

BeatnikMama
08-06-2010, 12:38 PM
Looks like im not the only one with a thing for redheads:D. For me though, i find that I don't really have a paticular body type I find attractive.Oviously personality gets me looking but style is really a key factor for me. Like Zooey Dachanel style is soooo attractive for example.I guess in a way I'm attracted to the kind of girl i want to look like lol wierd. I don't care for rail thin girls , I like healthy girls that know how to carry themselves well.It's opposite for boys tho with me, I most definetly have a "type". Tall , skinny, toned not muscular and black hair does it for me and dark eyes do it for me .

DaughterOfVenus
08-25-2010, 01:38 AM
Actually it made total sense.

I love curves. I don't really gravitate towards thin, fragile women. But for that matter, I don't gravitate towards thin, fragile personalities. I LOVE soft butch types. I like to be the one being held, typically, and obviously that's not to say roles are set in stone. I just love a strong, curvaceous, brave, sexy, butch woman.

That said, that's NOT what I'm like. At all. And when I look around at what I want to be, that's not even close to what I'd model myself after. It doesn't make it a double standard, that's just how it is. I think weight is the same thing. We don't necessarily want to be what we are attracted to.

mamadoll
08-25-2010, 12:58 PM
I think the ideal woman for me would be the most politely termed "Rubenesque" (though I do prefer them a bit more "in shape" than Rubens painted them). He showcased the beauty of the female body and all of its imperfections perfectly (IMO).

The only time that I have actually had sex with a woman (am married to a man but have always liked woman as well) was when I was much, much thinner, I'd say around 160ish, and she was probably 200-250 lbs. I still found her quite beautiful, despite the fact that I find myself almost repulsive when I pass the 200 mark (don't even ask how I felt when I found out I'd passed THREE O.O).

As for general attraction though, Id say Rubenesque describes it perfectly for me. Plump and curvy, yet very pleasing to the eye and touch. I'm just not a fan of rail thin. I love boobs and butts too much to sacrifice them for a flat tummy.

Of course all of those things are purely physical. I have not had the pleasure of having an actual relationship with a woman, so I am not very well versed on what I like in a woman personality wise. I know that with men and women both, I find intelligence, confidence, strength, a sense of humor, and a general joie de vivre to be very enticing. If I found those qualities in a rubanesque woman I would probably fall head-over-heels! :D

Edited to say:

I do have to note that the one exeption to not finding rail-thin attractive for me would be Audrey Hepburn. I find her to be just gorgeous, though a lot of that could be in the way she carried herself.

DaughterOfVenus
08-30-2010, 12:13 PM
I'm not usually into super thin girls, but I think that's also partly because I'm so heavy, and physically it just feel strange to me, but ohhhhhhh my god, I'd do illegal things with the character Shane from the L Word.

Bluey
08-31-2010, 02:26 AM
I'm not usually into super thin girls, but I think that's also partly because I'm so heavy, and physically it just feel strange to me, but ohhhhhhh my god, I'd do illegal things with the character Shane from the L Word.


OMFG yes.... Shane is very very very edible.... hmmmmm.... i also liked Dana... but something so sexy about Shane..

DaughterOfVenus
09-01-2010, 07:00 PM
oops

Curiously Joyful
09-05-2010, 12:42 AM
I think it all comes down to self-image. We can appreciate in others what we can't appreciate in ourselves. I like bigger women, too, although my ideal is not as big as me. When I feel down on myself, a helpful trick is to stand in front of a mirror with my eyes closed, then picture a woman close to my size who I find attractive. I sink into those feelings of appreciation and enjoyment of her appearance and then open my eyes and look at myself when the feelings are at their strongest (but not lustful, lol). That somehow transfers the body-appreciation to myself, as well as those I find attractive.

:)

annputation
10-05-2010, 04:45 PM
I'm more attracted to intelligence then looks, and I love a girl who's into science and math!! I've liked all colours, shapes and sizes. But, if you haven't read or done a math problem in longer than you can remember, forget it!!

One for every five pounds
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