100 lb. Club - So Miserable - Feel On The Edge




View Full Version : So Miserable - Feel On The Edge


Loving Me
01-10-2010, 12:41 PM
I posted the other day that I'm struggling, big time and got lots of good advice.
But I feel even worse this past couple of days. The scale is still going up and down those same couple of pounds and I feel so close to the edge of giving up completely and having a major binge. The only thing that is stopping me is that I know if I did that I'd soon start to gain every single pound back.
I know everyone deals with plateaus and I'm lucky that I've managed to lose 50lbs, but I'm actually thinking that maybe this isn't a plateau, maybe I'm not meant to lose anymore weight, maybe I'm meant to be 274lbs like I was to start with.
I just feel totally out of control and panic stricken. I have so much more to lose and I feel like something has gone wrong and I can no longer do this.
I felt more positive yesterday but today I just can't handle it. I know I'm having a major pity party and I wish I could snap myself out of it, but I don't know how.
I see hubby and my daughter eating all the junk and I feel like "what's the point in me depriving myself if I'm not getting payback for my hard work".
It's like I've got a split personality right now, part of me knows I can't give up or I'll end up back where I was, but the other part is telling me what's the point in all this, it's not working anymore, you might as well give up....
I've been in tears most of the day, I know it's not TOM that's due which is making me tearful or causing water retention. I've considered trying to change my eating plan completely and maybe joining a slimming club (which I REALLY don't want to do, my gym membership costs enough). I've thought about what I can change exercise wise, maybe get my routine changed at the gym.
But all this doesn't help the feeling of total panic and despair I'm feeling right now. I know in the grand scheme of life this is stupid and I feel like a real drama queen, but losing my excess weight is more important to me than anything else in my life right now, and I have no-one to slap me out of it and tell me what I need to do to get through it.


matt_H
01-10-2010, 12:48 PM
You did the right thing by posting about it here. Getting out your feelings by writing them down is something that has always helped me when I've had those same thoughts. You are not alone as we have all felt like throwing in the towel.

However, trust me, it gets easier.

You've already lost 50 pounds, that is so awesome!

Experimenting with various changes to your diet/ routine can help. It sometimes takes a while to find out what works for us and no one thing is a perfect answer to anyone.

Please keep posting here!

CLCSC145
01-10-2010, 12:55 PM
I know you're frustrated, but giving up and giving in to a binge is the last thing you should do. You've lost 10 pounds since December 4th. That's a terrific rate of loss. That's not panic or despair worthy!

You have to trust that if you continue to eat wisely, you are going to lose weight. Sure you may stall for a while, but you will lose weight. The alternative - giving up and gaining it back - is no solution. There is a reason you started this last July. And you've done tremendously well. Your body is healthier and happier than it was 50+ pounds ago. Don't forget that.

It's not stupid and you're not a drama queen, it's just fear. Fear that your losses won't continue (they will), fear that you are missing out on junk and it won't pay off (it will), fear that you're meant to be fat (you're not, no one is!). Deep breaths. You can do this. You are doing this. Hang on, it'll happen.


marigrace
01-10-2010, 12:58 PM
Loving! You need to believe again. Don't talk to yourself that way. If you focus ...really focus ...with all the power you have already demonstrated...and do what you already know has been working in THREE DAYS you can come out of this, and it will all seem like a bad dream.

dragonwoman64
01-10-2010, 01:04 PM
when my weight loss slows, stops, goes backwards, the biggest culprit is my oversnacking or letting calories creep up on me, sometimes with the combination of exercising less. sometimes it's TOM, I can gain several lbs from that alone. don't assume that the routine you've got going is not working if in reality you're not sticking to the actual routine (that is something I've done many, many times)

since you've already lost 52 lbs, I know you must already have seen major benefits from your efforts.

are you sure it's not TOM, the hormone flow, effecting your emotions? I can have real mood swings that I know has to do with that, when I keep track of it on a calendar, I can see the connection.

it might help you to change your thinking away from "I'm depriving myself", I personally know how much easier that is to say than do.

don't psych yourself out. glitches, speed bumps, freak outs, yep, they've all happened to me. persevere. you're not alone!

SNMomof1
01-10-2010, 01:15 PM
Are you a calorie counter? You may want to try increasing your cals for a week and then coming back down... enough to rev up your metabolism. I know it sounds scary to do (who wants to eat MORE when they're trying to loose weight), but if you're at a true plateau then that very well might be the key to overcoming it.

Major :hug:s. You've come so far! Don't be too hard on yourself and maybe even take a couple days off the scale (don't slack otherwise!)

beerab
01-10-2010, 01:19 PM
Girl of course you are getting payback for your hard work! I bet a lot of things are easier on your body now that you are 50 lbs lighter- before I started just trying my SHOES was a difficult task that would leave me out of breath when I was done!

:hug: We've all gone through what you are going through, but don't give up! I agree SNM- maybe a few days of slightly higher calories will help kick things up a notch for you and make you not feel so deprived.

giselley
01-10-2010, 01:20 PM
according to this article (http://www.weightlossforall.com/weight-loss-plateau.htm) plateaus happen when your body gets used to surviving on less calories. The author's answer is to add some calories for 1-2 weeks to get your body back to losing weight. This is to stop self-canibalization-- the body devouring its own muscles and (surprisingly) stomach for protein.

JayEll
01-10-2010, 01:22 PM
Okay, I'm going to make a suggestion that you'll find hard. Ready?

:coach: STAY ON YOUR PLAN with food and exercise and DO NOT WEIGH until a week has passed.

Your mind right now is trying to trick you into giving up and eating crap. And it's using the scale as a weapon to "prove" that you should. It's the "child within" who sees your husband and daughter, and starts kicking her little feet and screaming "IT'S NOT FAAAIIIRRRRR!!!!"

Could I speak to the adult in charge, please? ;) Now listen... if you give in to that voice that says "What's the use?" you will prove that it's true. This is called a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Try changing your self-talk. Look in the mirror and say, "I am stronger than that and I can stay on track." Say it through tears, say it until you believe it! Because you CAN stay on track! You are not terminally unique and therefore doomed to fail! Keep fighting! No one is "meant" to be 274 pounds. Not you, for sure!

Do you have healthy snacks and meal foods in the house? If not--then go get some. I'm talking about snack foods like water-packed canned tuna, celery sticks, lowfat string cheese, 2% cottage cheese, salad packs, light dressings... things that you can eat without doing so much damage! And of course filling dinner foods like boneless, skinless chicken breasts, lean trimmed pork, even lean beef! Vegetables, frozen or fresh! Whole grains! It doesn't matter what so much as that you can be satisfied with them and not "lose it" calorie-wise.

I have just one other thought for now: If losing your excess weight is more important to you than anything else in your life right now, as you said it is, then you will NOT give up!

If you give up, then you are a liar. That's all there is to it!

Please don't give up. Stop crying, calm yourself, and take some steps to stay on plan.
:hug: :hug: :hug:

Jay

rockinrobin
01-10-2010, 01:24 PM
Why don't you share with us a typical day for you and we can see if can possibly tweak it?

I know this is hard, I know this stall seems awfully stubborn - but you ARE more stubborn and MUCH more powerful.

I understand your frustration, but you must hang on. You must, you must, you must. Giving in, giving up is NOT an option. That will get the scale moving for sure - but not where you want it to.

Again, can you share with us a typical day and perhaps we can make some suggestions for you?

Hang tough. Help is on the way!

thistoo
01-10-2010, 01:54 PM
Listen, I have been in your shoes. I am not exaggerating when I say it happens to me every 30 pounds. It's like clockwork, I kid you not. So I should have expected a killer plateau right around 150, but this one is I think the toughest one I've faced yet. Not because it's the longest to date; it's only been 3 months so far, and I've been stuck for a YEAR before. I think this one is the worst because I'm *so* close to goal and here I am, stuck in the 150s.

People say to check your calories and make sure you're not accidentally indulging more than you should. That's great advice. Unfortunately it doesn't account for all plateaus. Weight loss boils down to calories in/calories out, sure, but for some of us, it's just not that simple.

Some of us are carb-sensitive. Some of us have useless metabolisms. Some of us can work out 90 minutes a day and eat 1200 calories and *gain*. That's just life; it's not fair, but you have to work with what you've got to work with.

My point is that if you throw in the towel and eat junk just because you're frustrated, all you're going to feel is sick, frustrated, and disappointed in yourself.

Sure, I've fallen off the wagon during miserable plateaus and eaten a pint of ice cream or whatever. It doesn't even make me gain because I work out so much. It does make me feel sick and bloated and pretty disgusted with myself, though.

The fact is that you are SO MUCH HEALTHIER than you were 50+ pounds ago. That's awesome! You're amazingly strong to have lost that weight at all, and if you give up just because of this particular obstacle, you will regret it a lot. So hang in there. Don't be so hard on yourself, or your body, for that matter. It'll catch up with you. It sucks that some of us have to wait so long for it to catch up, but in the meantime you have to find a way to enjoy living with the new you and not punish yourself because your body won't respond to your brain's timeline.

(I say all this as much for myself as for you. Believe me, I am ready to strangle someone over seeing the number 157 on the scale day after day, no matter what I do. I can up my calories or push them down to alarming levels. I can work out like a maniac or take days off in a row, and not a single thing has made a difference. The fact that I bounced all the way from 150 to 157 and stayed there for no good reason does not make it any easier, believe me. Hang in there! We can do this.)

DCHound
01-10-2010, 02:37 PM
That's close to the weight I plateaued at for almost 4 months beginning last Valentine's Day. I dropped 99 lbs in 6 months then was stuck at about 270 for 3 1/2 months. It totally sucked, I won't lie. BUT. I stayed true to plan and eventually the weight just started dropping again. If I'd gave up, I'd be back to nearly 400 lbs again right now. Instead I'm sitting pretty in a size 14 (and can squeeze into a 12). Don't give up! Do not!!! Shake your plan up if you need to but don't quit. Eventually things will start moving in the right direction again. I swear it.