100 lb. Club - Ever had one of those moments?




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mel hughes
01-09-2010, 08:11 PM
Ever had one of those moments that made you realize it was really important you go on this journey of weight loss?

I have.
In December, my husband and I got free tickets to the New Orleans Bowl. We sat in the stadium seats, and they were SO uncomfortable. The cupholders were digging into my legs..I couldn't really enjoy myself because it was so painful.

The next morning I woke up with sores in both legs. It felt like I had been bruised. I was so disgusted with myself.

In the last year, I gained 35 pounds. And I was very overweight at the beginning of the year. So now I'm 275 pounds, and I FEEL it. My body hurts. My self-esteem hurts.

I'll admit, last year was a tough year for me. Gage was still very young, just a few months old. Jordan was diagnosed with autism, and his 6 day a week schedule of therapy took over my life. I was in school at night. But really?? 35 pounds? All this weight gain, when 3 times last year I told myself I was going to make this change..

And while the embarrassment and self-loathing from my stadium chair incident still rings in my head, I haven't made a change. What is it going to take for me to REALLY do this? I hate even saying I'm going to do it..I've said it so many times before.

What was your final push to changing your life? What did it for you?

I want this for myself. For my children. And for my husband.
Thanks in advance ladies.


duckyyellowfeet
01-09-2010, 08:15 PM
Sounds like a rough year. Maybe not an excuse, as you say, but something to consider as well. Forgive yourself and move on. You can do this :)

For me, my SO texted me and said "I've hit 183lbs...its crisis mode!". I was at 260, 80lbs. over her...what did that say about me? that same day, i was watching one of those "I lost it!" type shows and realized that I was in a similar weight range. It was a hard day, but made me come to terms with my weight.

mel hughes
01-09-2010, 08:17 PM
Do you ever watch the Biggest Loser? One of the girls on the new season has the same starting weight as I do.


duckyyellowfeet
01-09-2010, 08:25 PM
I love the Biggest Loser...another major wake-up call. I hate seeing people on there that weigh less than I do/did.
I remember watching it with a friend pre-weight loss and she was like "I just don't understand how people can get up that high"...and I weighed more than the chick on the screen.

mel hughes
01-09-2010, 08:27 PM
That is usually how it is for me too. I look at the women starting in the 220s and WISH I weighed that. I'm the girl who watches The Biggest Loser while eating pizza..

duckyyellowfeet
01-09-2010, 08:29 PM
You'll be in the 220s soon enough :)

I used to get super-motivated while watching TBL marathons...followed by massive fast-food runs and the promise to "try better tomorrow". Oh, the irony

LizR
01-09-2010, 08:30 PM
For me it was realizing that I couldn't do it on my own and that I had to get help. I have a therapist that specializes in eating problems. My insurance company actually helped me find this person and is paying for the therapy!

I also have a son with autism. He was diagnosed 5 years ago. Feel free to PM me about anything related to autism.

:hug:

rockinrobin
01-09-2010, 08:42 PM
That is usually how it is for me too. I look at the women starting in the 220s and WISH I weighed that. I'm the girl who watches The Biggest Loser while eating pizza..

That's just it. You can't WISH for it, you have to WORK for it. It can happen. But it's not something that will happen to you, YOU have to MAKE it happen. It's not some far-fetched out of this world dream. You CAN make losing weight and lots of it a REALITY. You have to not only WANT it, but be WILLING to do what's necessary to get it. And make no mistake about it, you've got the power, the control, the ABILITY to make it happen. You don't have to be overweight if you don't want to be. You've got the choice. You hold the key.

With all that's going on in your life, losing weight would not add to the burden, but take away from it. Life IS easier and simpler without the added burden of carrying around extra pounds. It's easier and simpler. With a lot more joy and happiness and lots less worry and misery.

DECIDE to do this, once and for all and permanently. Decide to do it, than COMMIT to do it. NO MATTER WHAT. You also must make it a tippy top priority. You must realize that it's just as important (if not more so) as whatever else is going on in your life. I made weight loss my job, my mission. I made and took no excuses.

Decide to do this, commit to do - and then set yourself up for success. Make yourself a plan and execute the heck out of it. Rid your home of the junk - while adding in healthy, tasty, nutritious foods. Stay accountable - journal your foods, count your calories. Discover healthy delicious meals to make for your family - and transform your life.

Require more from yourself. Raise your standards. Discover who you were meant to be. Do it for yourself. Do it for your family. Stop settling for second best when first is well within your reach. Push yourself. Reach. Stretch. Strive. Prosper. Learn. Grow. Don't waste another precious second. And don't dread this. Get EXCITED about it. Embrace it. Celebrate it. Adhering to a healthy lifestyle is no burden, no hardship. It's a joy and a blessing. Give it a chance. Work past the initial discomfort and create yourself a new normal and a whole new you.

All the best. :)

TJFitnessDiva
01-09-2010, 08:55 PM
For me it just clicked one day in May of 2008 after running around with my three kids in the yard. I wanted to have fun with them, I was miserable trying and I totally lost sight of who I was as a person (so not related to me running in the yard lol).

So I decided that it needed to be done....mainly for myself. If I put myself first it really wasn't some crime against being a mom (I have an 8 year old with pdd-nos). I wanted to be that healthy and cute mom. It's been a lot of work but the journey so far has been totally worth it ;)

Where in LA are you from? :) I'm from New Orleans but live in a small town on the northshore now.....do not let carnival set you back, it's totally do able to eat healthy at Mardi Gras!

mel hughes
01-09-2010, 08:56 PM
For me it was realizing that I couldn't do it on my own and that I had to get help. I have a therapist that specializes in eating problems. My insurance company actually helped me find this person and is paying for the therapy!

I also have a son with autism. He was diagnosed 5 years ago. Feel free to PM me about anything related to autism.

:hug:


Thank you so much! I don't know many people in a similar situation, and the large majority of my friends are still single, college students. So they don't really "get it".

mel hughes
01-09-2010, 08:58 PM
That's just it. You can't WISH for it, you have to WORK for it. It can happen. But it's not something that will happen to you, YOU have to MAKE it happen. It's not some far-fetched out of this world dream. You CAN make losing weight and lots of it a REALITY. You have to not only WANT it, but be WILLING to do what's necessary to get it. And make no mistake about it, you've got the power, the control, the ABILITY to make it happen. You don't have to be overweight if you don't want to be. You've got the choice. You hold the key.

With all that's going on in your life, losing weight would not add to the burden, but take away from it. Life IS easier and simpler without the added burden of carrying around extra pounds. It's easier and simpler. With a lot more joy and happiness and lots less worry and misery.

DECIDE to do this, once and for all and permanently. Decide to do it, than COMMIT to do it. NO MATTER WHAT. You also must make it a tippy top priority. You must realize that it's just as important (if not more so) as whatever else is going on in your life. I made weight loss my job, my mission. I made and took no excuses.

Decide to do this, commit to do - and then set yourself up for success. Make yourself a plan and execute the heck out of it. Rid your home of the junk - while adding in healthy, tasty, nutritious foods. Stay accountable - journal your foods, count your calories. Discover healthy delicious meals to make for your family - and transform your life.

Require more from yourself. Raise your standards. Discover who you were meant to be. Do it for yourself. Do it for your family. Stop settling for second best when first is well within your reach. Push yourself. Reach. Stretch. Strive. Prosper. Learn. Grow. Don't waste another precious second. And don't dread this. Get EXCITED about it. Embrace it. Celebrate it. Adhering to a healthy lifestyle is no burden, no hardship. It's a joy and a blessing. Give it a chance. Work past the initial discomfort and create yourself a new normal and a whole new you.

All the best. :)


I'll be honest and tell you that I cried a little when I read your response. Because I know it is true, and because I know that I've been holding myself back for so long.
I absolutely believe that my life would be greatly improved if I lost this weight.

Thank you so much.

mel hughes
01-09-2010, 09:03 PM
For me it just clicked one day in May of 2008 after running around with my three kids in the yard. I wanted to have fun with them, I was miserable trying and I totally lost sight of who I was as a person (so not related to me running in the yard lol).

So I decided that it needed to be done....mainly for myself. If I put myself first it really wasn't some crime against being a mom (I have an 8 year old with pdd-nos). I wanted to be that healthy and cute mom. It's been a lot of work but the journey so far has been totally worth it ;)

Where in LA are you from? :) I'm from New Orleans but live in a small town on the northshore now.....do not let carnival set you back, it's totally do able to eat healthy at Mardi Gras!


I'm from Gonzales! Oh...but the King Cake! I've been staring at them in Walmart for days. :lol:

thistoo
01-09-2010, 09:05 PM
For me it was seeing myself in my sister's wedding pictures. Not the fact that I was fat (I was) but the fact that I was so *miserable*. It was obvious how unhappy I was, and it hurt me to know I'd done that to myself. That was the real impetus for me.

TJFitnessDiva
01-09-2010, 09:07 PM
I'm from Gonzales! Oh...but the King Cake! I've been staring at them in Walmart for days. :lol:

I just got one from Randazzo's bakery today...it's was plain small one but oh so good! I had a small sliver and my kids and husband took care of the rest :lol:

It's cool to see someone on here that isn't too far away! If you ever need help with the local food here feel free PM me :)

Eliana
01-09-2010, 09:11 PM
There hasn't been any "click" for me. I've been trying, REALLY trying, since after the birth of our first son nine years ago. Unfortunately, with PCOS, it's taken me a while to figure out what works for my body. Yeah, yeah...it took me nine years to learn calories in...calories out. :rolleyes:

But just to play along...I suppose pictures are major motivators for me. I HATE pictures and can't believe I was as big as I was! Just today I went in search of a good start picture and was horrified.

PeanutsMom704
01-09-2010, 09:18 PM
I used to tell myself that I needed to lose weight for my son. He's 5 and I'm a single mom by my own choice, but still that means I'm 100% responsible. That SHOULD be enough, right? To want to do my best to make sure I'm here and healthy for him, plus wanting to keep up with him and have fun together.

And it wasn't enough. I had to decide to do it for ME. Just me. I was tired of looking like this. I was even more tired of FEELING like this. I was especially tired of being tired.

Even when I started on 11/2/09, I was thinking, ok, I'll get down to maybe 180 - enough to look and feel better and make a big difference healthwise. I don't ever remember being that weight, although I know had to have been at some point. And then I found 3FC. Now I'm dreaming big - so to speak! lol! I never contemplated that I could lose 100 lbs and be in the 150s. And yes, I still have a long way to go, but I'm over 20% through my journey now. And I see the people here who have more weight to lose and dealing with more issues making it hard for them than I can imagine. But they did it or are doing it. And SO CAN I. It's a little weird that I had to get selfish enough to just do it for myself, but if that's what it took, then I'm glad I finally found my selfishness.

Coondocks
01-09-2010, 09:18 PM
Mine was a little different I think. I've always been the one to avoid pictures and when I looked at the ones I had, I would some how convince myself that it was an 'off' picture or something like that.

What kicked it into my head was when my son stopped wanting to eat baby food and wanted what was on mom's plate. One evening for supper I was looking at what I was eating thinking "No, I can't give him this, it's not good for him it's not healthy" and then it clicked . . . . if I wouldn't give it to my child because it's not healthy, why is it ok to put it in my mouth?
It really made a lot of sense to me from that point on and I admitted to myself that I wouldn't be able to run with him, play hockey or soccer, ride a bike - if I didn't change things now. Not just for me, but for him too. He deserves a Mom that can do all those things, teach him how to be healthy and active and I deserve to be proud of myself for doing it.

That turned out longer than I had thought it would . . . sorry for the long post :)

mel hughes
01-09-2010, 09:33 PM
I just got one from Randazzo's bakery today...it's was plain small one but oh so good! I had a small sliver and my kids and husband took care of the rest :lol:

It's cool to see someone on here that isn't too far away! If you ever need help with the local food here feel free PM me :)


How many WW points would a piece be? A friend of mine has lost about 50lbs on WW in the last year, and she said crawfish aren't too many points =)

mel hughes
01-09-2010, 09:39 PM
There hasn't been any "click" for me. I've been trying, REALLY trying, since after the birth of our first son nine years ago. Unfortunately, with PCOS, it's taken me a while to figure out what works for my body. Yeah, yeah...it took me nine years to learn calories in...calories out. :rolleyes:

But just to play along...I suppose pictures are major motivators for me. I HATE pictures and can't believe I was as big as I was! Just today I went in search of a good start picture and was horrified.

Pictures...In the few months after I had my first son, I decided to try to drop some pounds and took some AWFUL pictures of myself. I deleted them shortly after.

I won't take family photos with my kids because I don't like the way I look. And when I do take pictures, it's from the "myspace" angle to hide the double chin..:rolleyes: Pretty lame.

mel hughes
01-09-2010, 09:41 PM
For me it was seeing myself in my sister's wedding pictures. Not the fact that I was fat (I was) but the fact that I was so *miserable*. It was obvious how unhappy I was, and it hurt me to know I'd done that to myself. That was the real impetus for me.

For my wedding, I hated taking the before pictures. I was so concerned with looking fat. And no one should be worried about that before walking down the aisle.

TJFitnessDiva
01-09-2010, 09:44 PM
I go crazy on some crawfish at 1pt per half of a cup (which you only count the tail meat)! They just have so much salt though in them but after a couple of days it's all worth it :lol:

The king cake, it was a 1 inch slice by 3 inches?, so I don't want to really know ;) I just took 5pts off and called it a day. It was probably more than that but oh well....it'll probably be one of two pieces I'll have this season. They are so freaking sweet to me now that I have a headache. My second piece will be on MGD somewhere on the parade route.

mel hughes
01-09-2010, 09:45 PM
Now I'm dreaming big - so to speak! lol! I never contemplated that I could lose 100 lbs and be in the 150s.

I think the idea of losing 130lbs is so terrifying! It seems like so much. My husband actually lost that exact amount, although he has gained about 90 of it back.

But just having him here, knowing he did it once and is ready to do it again [and keep it off] makes me feel much better. And seeing the numbers the ladies on here have been able to kick off.. it is encouraging. I know I'm going to have to make mini-goals and focus on those rather than the big picture.

mel hughes
01-09-2010, 09:47 PM
I go crazy on some crawfish at 1pt per half of a cup (which you only count the tail meat)! They just have so much salt though in them but after a couple of days it's all worth it :lol:

The king cake, it was a 1 inch slice by 3 inches?, so I don't want to really know ;) I just took 5pts off and called it a day. It was probably more than that but oh well....it'll probably be one of two pieces I'll have this season. They are so freaking sweet to me now that I have a headache. My second piece will be on MGD somewhere on the parade route.


I never really eat too much crawfish. I get full on it quickly. I usually only buy 1 pound for myself, while my friends are buying 5 and 6!

beerab
01-09-2010, 10:00 PM
I totally understand where you are coming from- I'm sure you are exhausted, which doesn't help your motivation either.

But even when you are tired- you have to make time for yourself- and you also have to put yourself before other things. Like if you have to clean the house- work out FIRST- then clean. When I would clean I woujldn't work out after cuz I was too tired... Now I workout first cuz I know I'll clean later.

mel hughes
01-09-2010, 10:47 PM
I totally understand where you are coming from- I'm sure you are exhausted, which doesn't help your motivation either.

But even when you are tired- you have to make time for yourself- and you also have to put yourself before other things. Like if you have to clean the house- work out FIRST- then clean. When I would clean I woujldn't work out after cuz I was too tired... Now I workout first cuz I know I'll clean later.

That is a really good idea! Thanks!

Aclai4067
01-09-2010, 10:59 PM
Ever had one of those moments that made you realize it was really important you go on this journey of weight loss?

I have.
In December, my husband and I got free tickets to the New Orleans Bowl. We sat in the stadium seats, and they were SO uncomfortable. The cupholders were digging into my legs..I couldn't really enjoy myself because it was so painful.

The next morning I woke up with sores in both legs. It felt like I had been bruised. I was so disgusted with myself.



OMG. Ever go to Cirque du Soleil? This story reminded me of that. We went about a year ago, and in our row of 7 tiny french person seats we had, count 'em, FOUR obese women. My mom being the smallest at a size 16/18, and myself being the second largest at a size 24. We had to stagger our seating (one person sit on the front edge of the seat while the person next to you sits all the way back) because all those big hips just were not going to fit side by side in that row. It was extremely uncomfortable. The other two women looked mortified. The largest girl (who wasn't really much larger than me at all, and about my age) kept apologizing over and over.

I can't wait to fit in tiny french person seats.

mel hughes
01-09-2010, 11:04 PM
OMG. Ever go to Cirque du Soleil? This story reminded me of that. We went about a year ago, and in our row of 7 tiny french person seats we had, count 'em, FOUR obese women. My mom being the smallest at a size 16/18, and myself being the second largest at a size 24. We had to stagger our seating (one person sit on the front edge of the seat while the person next to you sits all the way back) because all those big hips just were not going to fit side by side in that row. It was extremely uncomfortable. The other two women looked mortified. The largest girl (who wasn't really much larger than me at all, and about my age) kept apologising over and over.

I can't wait to fit in tiny french person seats.

Lol My husband and I bought tickets to see Wicked when it comes to a theatre in New Orleans at the end of March. I am DETERMINED to lose at least 15 pounds by then. I would like to sit comfortably in my $92 seat.. lol

cfmama
01-09-2010, 11:11 PM
I had the click. And the moment. And I'm not exactly sure why...

I have a blood clotting disorder that could kill me if I remain overweight. So I used to wallow in my pity KNOWING that I was not going to live much longer. Sure than a heart attack or embolism was just around the corner... until I day I said to myself...

"self... you don't HAVE to be fat! You don't HAVE to live this way. You can make the CHOICE to lose weight and live happier and healthier!"

and so I did. I made it top priority (and still do of course... I have another 65 to lose from my original 227 I had to lose!) and take it day by day by day.

It's fun. It's exciting. You'll NEVER regret doing it.

mel hughes
01-10-2010, 12:35 AM
I had the click. And the moment. And I'm not exactly sure why...

I have a blood clotting disorder that could kill me if I remain overweight. So I used to wallow in my pity KNOWING that I was not going to live much longer. Sure than a heart attack or embolism was just around the corner... until I day I said to myself...

"self... you don't HAVE to be fat! You don't HAVE to live this way. You can make the CHOICE to lose weight and live happier and healthier!"

and so I did. I made it top priority (and still do of course... I have another 65 to lose from my original 227 I had to lose!) and take it day by day by day.

It's fun. It's exciting. You'll NEVER regret doing it.


That is pretty great! 65 would seem like nothing after all you've lost..Does it get harder when you are closer to your goal?

rockinrobin
01-10-2010, 12:50 AM
That is pretty great! 65 would seem like nothing after all you've lost..Does it get harder when you are closer to your goal?

For some it does, for some it doesn't. I urge you to not be concerned with that at this point.

I think it would benefit you to FOCUS on the behaviors. Focus on changing your eating/exercise habits. Focus on incorporating healthy habits into your life - forever. Focus on making this a permanent sustainable lifestyle change. You do that and the weight WILL come off, in whatever time frame. Make those healthy changes - permanently - create that calorie deficit and there is no way that the weight can't not come off.

Time will pass one way or the other. Put that time to good use! The sooner you start incorporating these habits, the sooner the weight will come off. The sooner you start incorporating these habits, the sooner they will become natural and automatic to you - and enjoyable. These new habits will be your new way of life and your old habits will be just that - old.

So may I ask you, have you started devising a plan???

mel hughes
01-10-2010, 12:55 AM
Well, I've got the basics set up I think.

I'm going to do the Weight Watchers plan. I've tried it before and had some success before jumping off again. Points are easy for me to keep up with.

My husband and I plan to join a gym in the next month or so when the extra money is available. Until then, I plan to use some of the exercise equipment my parents have. They have a treadmill and a gazelle. I already asked my mom to watch my boys so I can get in my first workout tomorrow.

As far as an idea of how often I'll workout, I know I'll plan to do at least 3 days a week to start with. And build from there.

I want to eliminate diet sodas from my diet.

Any suggestions on a good kick start?

rockinrobin
01-10-2010, 01:17 AM
The best kick start? To just - START. Just do it. Jump in with both feet. Today. Now. Everything counts and everything matters. Every time you say no to one of "those" foods you are saying yes to you and you will be one step closer to being that healthy, fit, trim person that you dream of.

The sooner you start - the sooner the weight comes off.
The sooner you start, the sooner you desires for the *wrong* foods will die down. The sooner you start the sooner you get your plan down pat, the sooner you find healthy foods that you love, the sooner your old habits fade and your new ones kick in. Be very firm with yourself. Set up some rules, some boundaries. Don't forget to get rid of the junk and add in the *good* stuff. Stick to it like glue. Work past the initial discomfort stage. Remember you don't have to have *something* just because you want it. Don't give into temporary temptations. You're looking for long term satisfaction here. You are now someone who cares about the consequences of the foods that you eat. You must remember what you want the MOST. Stay focused. Remember your new priorities. Give this a chance to become new and natural for you. It WILL happen. Hang tight. Take it one day at a time. Heck take it an hour at a time, or even 5 minutes at a time.

You CAN do this. You CAN. You CAN. You CAN!!! And you should. I mean, why wouldn't you??? :)

mel hughes
01-10-2010, 01:26 AM
I've definitely got a million reasons to do it. And I'm looking forward to finally beating this thing. And changing my life.

Aclai4067
01-10-2010, 01:33 AM
rockinrobin, you have great posts!

catherinef
01-10-2010, 04:04 AM
My life was a series of those moments, piled one on the other, for years. Mostly what bothered me was the way I was thinking of things, just little things, that I wouldn't be able to do again, and things I would never be able to do. There was this horrible sense of resignation and inevitability that permeated my entire life. I kept having to think of workarounds to get me through events and activities that were just too hard and humiliating for me to do as a severely obese person, and it got so old.

Ultimately, being fat just became too much work. It finally clicked for me that losing weight wasn't going to be anything like as hard as staying so very fat. I was just so tired of it, and the prospect of losing all that weight just ceased to be daunting, because I knew it wasn't going to be as hard as continuing on in my miserable, fat lifestyle. I'd had enough.

Onederchic
01-10-2010, 04:09 AM
This post actually brought tears to my eyes, I could literally feel your pain from your words.

For me, I just decided I wanted to really live and be alive and healthy so I made up my mind and I am doing it.

You can do this, I know it. You deserve to be healthy and happy; your kids deserve to have a healthy and happy mom. We are all here for you. I'll be keeping you in my prayers.

Hugs
Michelle

rockinrobin
01-10-2010, 06:18 AM
My life was a series of those moments, piled one on the other, for years. Mostly what bothered me was the way I was thinking of things, just little things, that I wouldn't be able to do again, and things I would never be able to do. There was this horrible sense of resignation and inevitability that permeated my entire life. I kept having to think of workarounds to get me through events and activities that were just too hard and humiliating for me to do as a severely obese person, and it got so old.

Ultimately, being fat just became too much work. It finally clicked for me that losing weight wasn't going to be anything like as hard as staying so very fat. I was just so tired of it, and the prospect of losing all that weight just ceased to be daunting, because I knew it wasn't going to be as hard as continuing on in my miserable, fat lifestyle. I'd had enough.

^^^^This, this and more this.^^^^

I had very similar feelings.

I just could not go on the way that I was. It was those workarounds that you speak of. Too hard, too humiliating, too much misery, too much I couldn't do - and I knew it could only get worse. Age was not going to make it any better. My body could only hold out so long at this weight. I was becoming less and less active, making more and more excuses to not participate in life. How was I going to walk my children down the aisle, how was I going to help them set up their homes, what kind of grandma could I be? And it was ENOUGH already.

And the bottom line was/is I finally realized that changing my lifestyle - permanently, couldn't possibly be harder then the hard of being super morbidly obese. And instead of dreading it, it actually sounded appealing - change my lifestyle. STOP THESE HORRENDOUS EATING HABITS=GET RID OF THE WEIGHT.

I knew the results would be wonderful, but honestly, I hadn't a clue it would be *this* wonderful. And honestly, in the end, it really wasn't THAT hard at all. It really, really wasn't. Had I known, I would have done it years and years earlier.

I just realized that I never answered the original question. Thanks Catherine for basically doing it for me. ;)

Eliana
01-10-2010, 09:03 AM
And the bottom line was/is I finally realized that changing my lifestyle - permanently, couldn't possibly be harder then the hard of being super morbidly obese.

I'd put this in my signature if it weren't already so packed. :D

nineoceansaway
01-10-2010, 09:27 AM
So I kinda parse my weight loss into two phases. The first phase my click was Thanksgiving. I was so embarassed of my weight I didn't come to dinner or see my family at all. I made an excuse not to. My dad's birthday is about two weeks after that and I didn't want to be too ashamed to see him on his birthday so I joined ww and by the time his bday rolled around I had lost 5 lbs.

My click this time was my pants. I've been maintaining/gaining for the past month (about 10 pounds :o ) anyways, I was at work yesterday in a pair of pants I wore before the holidays and....I ripped them. Oops :o right in the butt. Thankfully one of my coworkers pointed it out and I was able to change, but how embarassing!! Now I'm back on the wagon, full force! Ready to lose those last 30 lbs!

LizR
01-10-2010, 09:29 AM
I am so inspired by the thoughts of everyone who has posted a response to this question. You are all amazing.

My advice for getting started is to let go of "all or nothing" thinking. If you go off your WW plan one day or don't exercise when you planned to just let it go and get right back on plan. Don't ever let yourself think that you have failed. Come post here any time you need too. You will get a ton of support.

cathydoe
01-10-2010, 09:58 AM
Okay...this is one of those "Save Threads" cuz it has so much good information! Thank you to everyone...

I had one of those moments where my big ole butt didn't fit in the seat at a concert...*sigh* I had many moments (I could write a page) of things that happened that really needed to be an "Ah-Ha" moment for me...but I brushed them off.

In October when it was time to put jeans on and put the capris away...my jeans were tight! I have worn the same size for years and years and if these jeans were tight...I was at the end of the pant sizes...oh my. I think what got me this time was I was scared. I was scared when I looked at the numbers on the scale. Scared for my health. And there was this deciding moment...I don't know exactly when...but I decided I could do this. And somewhere...I think on 3FC I read...staying fat is more painful than loosing.

lottie63
01-10-2010, 10:07 AM
My click was when my real dad (who I didn't know, but found out from his fam after he died), died of complications from diabetes. I think he was 48. By that time he had lost both legs, went blind and finally, his kidneys failed.

Talk. About. Terror.

I'm losing slowly, very slowly, but I'm losing, and that is what counts. you can do this.

ubergirl
01-10-2010, 10:25 AM
For me, something REALLY GOOD happened and I realized that I was going to be unable to enjoy it, and that maybe even I was going to squander the opportunity because of being ashamed of my looks. And when I say "my looks"-- it wasn't just the weight-- I had such a poor self-image that I didn't take of other aspects of my appearance. I just looked like a sad sack.

I mean, there were MANY MANY humiliations and hurts and pains along the way. By the end, as I closed in on 300, my quality of life was seriously poor-- I had zero physical fitness, was developing skin problems-- things that I had avoided for a long time because I was a relatively healthy obese person (if that's not an oxymoron...)

I've always been a hyper-overachiever-- maybe compensating for my lack of self-esteem. But finally, it just HIT me. It really didn't matter WHAT I achieved, I was carrying my unhappiness around with me literally, in the form of 100+ pounds of extra weight.

THAT DAY, I changed. The day that a lifelong dream came true and I realized that even that wouldn't make me happy if I stayed morbidly obese.

And you know, it's true. Because all of the good things that came along with the good thing that happened to me are NOTHING compared to the good things that have come from losing almost 70lbs (so far.)

So--believe me, whatever the secret wish or fantasy that you might wish for desperately, whatever success that you might aspire to, that thing will not bring you as much joy as something that is 100% under your control, and that is your weight.

gloo
01-10-2010, 01:25 PM
Ultimately, being fat just became too much work. It finally clicked for me that losing weight wasn't going to be anything like as hard as staying so very fat. I was just so tired of it, and the prospect of losing all that weight just ceased to be daunting, because I knew it wasn't going to be as hard as continuing on in my miserable, fat lifestyle. I'd had enough.

Yes, this. I was reading through this thread thinking about how to respond, and I came across your post. What you described is so spot on (and you did it very eloquently). :)

In a nutshell, I'm just...done. Being fat is literally sucking the life out of me. I still consider myself a joyous person, but I think of how much happier and less stressed out I will be as this weight comes off. I lived as a 138 lb. person in my 20s, and I didn't have to worry about the stupid little mundane details of normal life that, at this weight, I really have to think about and plan. Bluntly, it sucks.

(Another trigger for me was receiving a huge box of old pictures from back home that I didn't take with me when I moved cross country 9 years ago. Going through them and seeing the progression from fit and active to fat and lumpy was pretty devastating. Couldn't ask for better motivation.)

mel hughes
01-10-2010, 02:28 PM
rockingrobin, you have great posts!

I agree! So motivating! Take no prisoners and no excuses kind of attitude, which I need to adopt!

mel hughes
01-10-2010, 02:32 PM
My life was a series of those moments, piled one on the other, for years. Mostly what bothered me was the way I was thinking of things, just little things, that I wouldn't be able to do again, and things I would never be able to do. There was this horrible sense of resignation and inevitability that permeated my entire life. I kept having to think of workarounds to get me through events and activities that were just too hard and humiliating for me to do as a severely obese person, and it got so old.

Ultimately, being fat just became too much work. It finally clicked for me that losing weight wasn't going to be anything like as hard as staying so very fat. I was just so tired of it, and the prospect of losing all that weight just ceased to be daunting, because I knew it wasn't going to be as hard as continuing on in my miserable, fat lifestyle. I'd had enough.

It is funny how the idea of making a change and losing weight is so scary. But you are absolutely right- Being fat is a ton of work!

I can hardly carry my children to the car without my back hurting and starting to sweat.
I can't do laundry for more than one load without needing to sit and take a break.
And I won't even go into the torture of trying to maintain a healthy sex life with my husband.

Thank you for your response. Eye opening.

mel hughes
01-10-2010, 02:35 PM
This post actually brought tears to my eyes, I could literally feel your pain from your words.

For me, I just decided I wanted to really live and be alive and healthy so I made up my mind and I am doing it.

You can do this, I know it. You deserve to be healthy and happy; your kids deserve to have a healthy and happy mom. We are all here for you. I'll be keeping you in my prayers.

Hugs
Michelle

I think that is the part I've missed for a long time. That I actually deserve to be healthy, and that I must make myself a priority.

mel hughes
01-10-2010, 02:39 PM
So I kinda parse my weight loss into two phases. The first phase my click was Thanksgiving. I was so embarassed of my weight I didn't come to dinner or see my family at all. I made an excuse not to. My dad's birthday is about two weeks after that and I didn't want to be too ashamed to see him on his birthday so I joined ww and by the time his bday rolled around I had lost 5 lbs.

My click this time was my pants. I've been maintaining/gaining for the past month (about 10 pounds :o ) anyways, I was at work yesterday in a pair of pants I wore before the holidays and....I ripped them. Oops :o right in the butt. Thankfully one of my coworkers pointed it out and I was able to change, but how embarassing!! Now I'm back on the wagon, full force! Ready to lose those last 30 lbs!

I haven't ripped any pants, simply because I won't allow myself to wear "real" pants. I've been reduced to sweatpants and leggings because I just can't afford to buy the next size up.

mel hughes
01-10-2010, 02:44 PM
My advice for getting started is to let go of "all or nothing" thinking.

I am the WORST about this kind of thinking.. If I did poorly at breakfast [which is my weakness], I will throw away the entire day!

mel hughes
01-10-2010, 02:47 PM
Okay...this is one of those "Save Threads" cuz it has so much good information! Thank you to everyone...

I had one of those moments where my big ole butt didn't fit in the seat at a concert...*sigh* I had many moments (I could write a page) of things that happened that really needed to be an "Ah-Ha" moment for me...but I brushed them off.

In October when it was time to put jeans on and put the capris away...my jeans were tight! I have worn the same size for years and years and if these jeans were tight...I was at the end of the pant sizes...oh my. I think what got me this time was I was scared. I was scared when I looked at the numbers on the scale. Scared for my health. And there was this deciding moment...I don't know exactly when...but I decided I could do this. And somewhere...I think on 3FC I read...staying fat is more painful than loosing.

I, too, have brushed off MANY moments that should've affected me.

The last part you wrote reminds me of something I heard on The Biggest Loser, I think. "Nothing taste as good as being healthy feels."

They might've said being thin, but I like being healthy better.

mel hughes
01-10-2010, 02:52 PM
Thanks ladies for all the responses. It helps a ton to know I'm not alone. To know others have felt the desperation I have felt and pushed through to better things and better health.

Thank you very much!

NebraskaLady
01-10-2010, 03:05 PM
My biggest fear in life for years has been I would die and I wouldn't fit in a casket. Yes, I know they have oversized caskets, but how embarrassing would that be for my family to have to bury me, let alone the extra cost, in an oversized casket. Anyway, my turning point came November 2008, when my husband got up and went to see his Dad. Less than a half hour later, I got a call from him saying he was at the doctors office and they thought he was having a heart attack. He was driving past the dr's office when he started having pain in his neck and ear, plus his chest just didn't feel right. He turned into the parking lot, walked in and was in the middle of a major heart attack. Now, if it had been me, I would have told myself it would get better and went ahead and headed for home and probably died before I got there. I would have been in that oversized casket. Following behind the ambulance as they were transporting my husband to a bigger hospital, I decided, this was enough and that I needed to do something about my weight. I had weighed myself that morning and weighed 290. When they weighed my husband, he was 250. The drs put four stents in and because of his quick action, he only has mild heart damage. When I brought him home from the hospital, we cleaned out our pantry and freezer and restocked it with healthy, low calorie food. Since then he has lost 65 pounds and I have lost 104. I hope this makes sense because I'm not good at putting my thoughts into words.

mel hughes
01-10-2010, 03:13 PM
My biggest fear in life for years has been I would die and I wouldn't fit in a casket. Yes, I know they have oversized caskets, but how embarrassing would that be for my family to have to bury me, let alone the extra cost, in an oversized casket. Anyway, my turning point came November 2008, when my husband got up and went to see his Dad. Less than a half hour later, I got a call from him saying he was at the doctors office and they thought he was having a heart attack. He was driving past the dr's office when he started having pain in his neck and ear, plus his chest just didn't feel right. He turned into the parking lot, walked in and was in the middle of a major heart attack. Now, if it had been me, I would have told myself it would get better and went ahead and headed for home and probably died before I got there. I would have been in that oversized casket. Following behind the ambulance as they were transporting my husband to a bigger hospital, I decided, this was enough and that I needed to do something about my weight. I had weighed myself that morning and weighed 290. When they weighed my husband, he was 250. The drs put four stents in and because of his quick action, he only has mild heart damage. When I brought him home from the hospital, we cleaned out our pantry and freezer and restocked it with healthy, low calorie food. Since then he has lost 65 pounds and I have lost 104. I hope this makes sense because I'm not good at putting my thoughts into words.

Thank you for sharing! For a long time I've been worried it was going to take something equally as serious to make me change my lifestyle. Thankfully it didn't.

I think it is incredible the change the two of you have made. Congrats on your wonderful progress!

Beverlyjoy
01-10-2010, 06:33 PM
Unfortunately - I usually have to hit rock bottom with food and emotions. Then..I decide one day I can't go down any farther than rock bottom and - I can't and will not live with food as my master. I plan for a healthy day & do the very best I can.

Always plan for the future (good food in the house, time to exercise, enlisting the help of your immediate family) but...take it one day at a time. Maybe even one meal at a time.

Keep posting. The folks here are very helpful.

Hello Nurse
01-10-2010, 08:14 PM
I have been "going to" start a diet every Monday morning for the past, oh, ten or so years. Some weeks I start gung ho on Monday, by Wednesday I am back to wallowing in the McD's.

I finally realized that 2010 is going to happen. It is going to pass by, and weight-wise, one of three things can happen. I can stay the same weight (not likely with my track record), I can gain more weight, or I can lose weight. Those are the only 3 options. And I have the power to choose which one of those things happen based on my actions and choices. That realization was very, very powerful for me. I am tired of waiting on life, saying to myself I will do those things when I lose weight. Well, pumpkin, the weight ain't gonna lose itself. Let's get busy! :)

DCHound
01-10-2010, 08:23 PM
So--believe me, whatever the secret wish or fantasy that you might wish for desperately, whatever success that you might aspire to, that thing will not bring you as much joy as something that is 100% under your control, and that is your weight.

I deserve and require both. :D

mel hughes
01-10-2010, 09:42 PM
Today has been a good day, and I'm encouraged. I went grocery shopping this afternoon, and it felt good to put away my healthy groceries. I even bought fruit today!

I've always been the "tomorrow I'll start" kind of girl too. My husband didn't want to start today. He thought tomorrow would be better. And I just said, "If I don't try today, I won't do it tomorrow!"

LizJ
01-10-2010, 11:48 PM
This sounds bad but is there anyone who doesn't really have a life changing click that just gets them on track? I feel like I have had clicks over and over but for me they are always temp. I think for me at least the only way I am going to lose this weight is to just take it one day at a time and work my booty off. I know that for awhile it is going to be hard for me. I have two little kids and most of the time feel exausted and overwhelmed. I know a lot of that could have to do with my weight. I want to lose the weight really badly it is just starting and then staying on track that is hard for me. Sometimes I feel like changing my lifestyle and getting healthy is a scary thing for me. I just want to stay on track however I can because I need to lose this weight. Having high bp and severe sleep apnea at my age (26) is embarrassing and I know it will keep getting worse if I do not lose weight.

Michelle98272
01-11-2010, 12:22 AM
About a month ago, I went to an Air and Flight museum here in Seattle and went on the space shuttle simulator...They need a sign out front that says..."Your AZZ needs to be smaller than this to ride this ride" and have a marker to measure yourself on!! I went in with my son and my boyfriend (Who happens to be big too) we sat or rather tried to sit in the front and literally got stuck wedging outselves in. The place was packed so we couldn't get out until everyone else did. We sat wedge in there for 20 minutes with the arm rests cutting into our legs. I had bruises that lasted for a week! That was the wake up call.

Almost simultaneously I "outgrew" all of my size 22 jeans. My fat jeans. I refused to buy new ones but couldn't wear what I had to work if I still wanted to work there. The camel toe was obscene. I went to Value Village and bought 4 pair of size 24 jeans that were $ 6 a pair. SIZE 24 is big for me. I'm pretty small framed.

Then yesterday and today I played wii with my kids and almost killed myself. My knees hurt so bad. By Boyfriend tried to console me that my weight didn't have anything to do with my knees hurting. But do typical ONE hundred and 66 lb women hurt there knees getting up and down from the sofa and pretending to box, bowl, play golf??

The seats, the jeans and the knees...in the last month have taught me THIS IS IT! my body can't take this weight anymore!

Oh, yeah...today wrestling with my son's bunk bed mattresses to put on clean sheets left me gasping for breath. My son came into the room and said "Mom What's the matter??" he was scared that I was breathing so heavily.

ENOUGH!

LizJ
01-11-2010, 01:36 AM
I was just thinking about it and there are a ton of great reasons for losing weight and absolutely none for stayting fat...so why is it so hard? Is it my mindset? It is so frustrating because I know myself and I know I get on these diet/exercise spurts and then they always fizzle out. I just don't get why I can't keep up the motivation!

Ophelia31
01-11-2010, 01:57 AM
There were a bunch of moments for me. Most imvolved seeing myself in photographs or just getting a glimpse of my naked body in the mirrior after a shower.
But mostly it's because I'm going to be 32 this year...and I've never had sex...never had an adult romantic relationship...and it just hit me how much of my life was wasted. That it's now or never. So now when I am trying to decide...cookie or walk... I think, cookie will be eaten alone in misery...and walking will help me get to a place where I won't be alone anymore. So it's a no brainer for me now.

xMeaganx
01-11-2010, 04:39 AM
I re-started my weight loss journey after a very dear Italian family came to stay with me at Christmas. It had been a almost 2 years since I saw them, but they noticed my previous weight loss (something I don't advertise to non-3fc's). I've never noticed a difference besides on the scale, so in my mind I thought that my family and close friends were making it up to make me feel better. But having these people notice my weight loss gave me the strength to start again. Oh and it could be the fact that I had a camera in my face 24/7 shooting at some bad angles during this time! The pictures also were a wake-up call that I needed to continue to loose!

jigglefree
01-11-2010, 08:26 AM
I had that moment several times but the one that was most monumental is when my oldest sister was trying to delicately ask if we were expecting another child. I also thought I looked pregnant when I looked in the mirror but it took that question and her delicate attempt and knowing that she is never tactful about anything. I knew then I had to do something and the time had come.

Symmetry
01-11-2010, 09:44 AM
One early morning, I just went to decide that that day it'd be the fattest I'd ever be. Never again.
It wasn't easy or fast to get to that. I suppose it's a cumulative feeling of being fed up of being fat. I'm fed up with the discomfort/ shame when using public transport, fed up about my lack of clothes that fit, fed up with the self isolation, fed up fearing for my health, fed up about being ugly.. the list goes on.

Later the same day I went to the malls with some friends, and I felt so bloated and uncomfortable I was in pain. It only strengthened the commitment that I really have to do this.

Eliana
01-11-2010, 10:16 AM
OMG. Ever go to Cirque du Soleil? This story reminded me of that. We went about a year ago, and in our row of 7 tiny french person seats we had, count 'em, FOUR obese women. My mom being the smallest at a size 16/18, and myself being the second largest at a size 24. We had to stagger our seating (one person sit on the front edge of the seat while the person next to you sits all the way back) because all those big hips just were not going to fit side by side in that row. It was extremely uncomfortable. The other two women looked mortified. The largest girl (who wasn't really much larger than me at all, and about my age) kept apologizing over and over.

I can't wait to fit in tiny french person seats.
My girlfriends and I like to go to the symphony but our season tickets were in seats that were around a bend or something. When the house was full, we had to sit there and it's a good thing we're best friends and have been together since college 'cause we were awfully cozy. We all had to first squeeze our rears painfully past the arm rests and then I had to fold my arms in at the center because I, being the smallest, was in the middle. Each of them had to lean to their right or left. Horrible!

Lol My husband and I bought tickets to see Wicked when it comes to a theatre in New Orleans at the end of March. I am DETERMINED to lose at least 15 pounds by then. I would like to sit comfortably in my $92 seat.. lol
We're going to see "Wicked" too and I won't have that problem this time! Yeah! Hadn't thought of that.

jay41
01-11-2010, 10:33 AM
I knew I was too fat for years,,,but it never hit me so hard as one day in October 2007 when I was on the subway. The car was almost full with two seats left. One seat was next to me and the other was next to this stinky, homeless guy. A well-dressed man came onto the train, took one look at me with disgust, and went to sit next to the homeless guy.

That was devastating...and that was my wake up call.

From that day forward I realized I always had a seat to myself on these crowded trains -- nobody wanted to sit next to the fat woman unless they were forced to. The seats with the skinny people always got filled first.

I'd seen that same look of disgust before when I got on airplanes at my heaviest weight. Nobody wants to sit next to a fat person...