100 lb. Club - Struggling - Advice Needed - Partially Wedding Related




Amber1011
01-08-2010, 11:39 PM
Hi girls!

So, I've been pretty much freaking out. I was here last year during my last weight loss "kick" and it was the best I had done in a long time and I thought I would really make it. I lost about 30lbs, but I've gained it all back. I hate myself for it, and I just don't know what to do anymore. Now, there's an added pressure.
I'm getting married in August.

I've ordered my dress and it is a size 22. It is a fit and flare style, so it is fitted through the tummy. Since I ordered it I've gained more weight in the stomach region and I'm freaking out. In this dress I can't really hide any added stomach weight. I don't know what to do. Then on the opposite end of the spectrum I feel hopeless because I know that I can't have any drastic weight changes between now and August because the dress can't be altered that much (and there's no way I can afford another expensive dress).
Here's the Model in the dress (http://tinyurl.com/yaqqaja)
A couple pictures of me in the dress:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2436/3931736100_e523375e7e.jpg

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2461/3931739104_0a70b57820.jpg

I feel like I'm going insane because I'm struggling losing any weight and worried about losing too much at the same time.

My fiancee and I are financially struggling right now where we're even having a hard time buying groceries, so its really hard to make healthy dishes when you buy a pack 10 boxes of mac and cheese because its the most you can get for the cheapest price. The stress isn't helping at all either.

I guess I need to address the actually losing weight before worrying about losing too much. I'm going to the doctor next week and want to talk about it, but I don't know what to ask/say. I want to talk about getting a breast reduction too (I'm a 42H) because I'm having additional problems because of them (and its almost impossible to exercise).

Sorry about the rant, but I just needed to get everything out lol
Any advice for me? I'm just so lost!


beerab
01-08-2010, 11:51 PM
My advice to you is work on losing the weight- dresses CAN be altered, if it gets to the point it's too loose you can always alter it a month before the wedding and at that point maintain. I'm sure you'd rather be 50 pounds slimmer on your wedding anyways? Alterations can be costly- BUT this is your wedding- it's not something you can do over...

I say since you can't control WHAT you eat then calorie count and make the best substitutions you can. Instead of whole milk get 1%, instead of butter use margarine, etc. And for you- exercise is very critical since the diet is harder for you to control since the cost is higher.

I'd check to see if there are places that sell food cheaper or if you can find farmer's markets nearby. Today I just found out that the local grocery store I go to puts "day old" bread out each morning at 7 am AND only charge 40 CENTS a loaf!!! FOR ALL BRANDS! I'm soooo there! They also do the same with the meat- 7 am the "old" meat is dirt cheap! All you have to do is take the stuff home and freeze it till you need it :)

Good luck!

mandalinn82
01-09-2010, 12:05 AM
Your dress CAN be altered. Even if it goes beyond what a typical seamstress can do, there are dress reconstruction folks (who would work on, for example, converting a mother's wedding dress to fit her daughter) who can take the dress down.

My dress was an 18W when I bought it, and I was a size 10 at my wedding. It can be done!

There are a ton of healthy cooking ideas on a budget here...lots of threads have been started on this topic due to the recent economic climate. Here are two:

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/188385-why-healthier-food-also-more-expensive-food.html

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/whole-foods-lifestyle/189143-healthy-eating-25-week.html (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/whole-foods-lifestyle/189143-healthy-eating-25-week.html?highlight=budget)


shcirerf
01-09-2010, 12:16 AM
Coming from a large family, and been involved in lots of weddings, "slow down", "quit freaking" it will be ok.

We did one wedding in 3 days! OMG! My uncle came home from Chicago for the 4th of July with his fiance and wanted to get married while they were home, we had 3 days to do a wedding! We pulled it off and it was great.

You have until August. Take care of your health! The dress can be altered. I've done it. Did it for a friend, she had a great dress, but she had big ole bossoms and the top was to little, so I took the bow off the back, which mad her butt look big and used it to make the top bigger, while not disturbing the look of the back of the dress. It turned out great, it was a lot of work, but it can be done.

You can have a great dress and a great wedding, without busting the budget or your waistline, just take a step back and take a breath, it will be ok.

The one thing I have learned is no matter how much you plan or what you do, a few little things will SNAFU, but that's ok, you'll still be married!:hug:

bluebutterfly
01-09-2010, 12:20 AM
What a beautiful dress - you look wonderful!!

Of course you're feeling stressed. Girls are raised to dream of their perfect wedding from the time we're born. Such pressure.

The important thing is you haven't let gaining the weight back, keep you from deciding to lose it now. I agree with all beerab's suggestions about making substitutions to lower the calories in whatever you eat. Luckily, it doesn't have to cost money to exercise. And, exercise will help you deal with all the stress.

You've got the right idea. Just take the first steps towards losing some weight. You can always stop when you get to the point where your dress fits the way you want it to.

Your "outsides" are fine just the way you are. If you can, just make the lifestyle changes to be healthier on the "inside". I'm sure your future husband wants you to live to be 100 years old.

Now...breathe in...breathe out...repeat....

Amber1011
01-09-2010, 12:27 AM
Thanks girls. Any suggestions about weight related stuff to talk to my doctor about?

nelie
01-09-2010, 12:47 AM
A new forum will be emerging on eating healthy on a budget but until then :)

I'd look at things like beans, rice, oatmeal, especially in bulk because those things are cheap! Do you have asian markets in your area? You can usually get veggies cheap. Are you counting calories?

Also, walking is a great, low impact exercise. Even if it is too cold outside (which it is in most of the US right now!!), you could just walk in place in front of the tv, add some squats in and lunges if you like as well.

Goddess Jessica
01-09-2010, 12:48 AM
Thanks girls. Any suggestions about weight related stuff to talk to my doctor about?

Start with being honest, "I want to do something about my weight but I am frustrated and I don't know what to do. Here's what happened this year..."

Be ready to listen but be prepared to speak your mind. If s/he suggests something that you're not ready or willing to do, let them know and ask for alternatives. If you don't feel like you're getting what you want, ask for a referral to a specialist.

Also, an FYI -- if you get a prescription for the gym, you can pay for it with flexible spending.

VernDern
01-09-2010, 02:20 AM
Your dress is absolutely beautiful AND you're going to look AMAZING in it on your wedding day!

Everyones had great advice so I wont repeat it all but just start taking walks and stuff. Do whatever you can and you'll see a difference! You can do it!

Good luck and congrats on the future wedding! =)

SNMomof1
01-09-2010, 08:51 AM
Oye that is a seriously KILLER dress! I love it. :D

As for your doc, just lay it all out there. Tell him what you did last year and why it didn't work. Really hash out the different options. Don't let him say "Okay, eat X calories and exercise 30min a day" if it's not plausible for you. You can also ask for a referral to a dietician who would be even better at helping you get a handle on things.

:hug:s You're a beautiful woman with a gorgeous dress and you're going to have a spectacular wedding. Don't fret!

paris81
01-09-2010, 10:32 AM
What a beautiful dress-I think you look fantastic!

Eliana
01-09-2010, 10:41 AM
Your dress is gorgeous, and not to repeat what's already been stated, but you CAN alter it. Really, you can. And it's far easier to take it down than let it out.

I want to caution you on just one thing. Come August when you've lost weight and feel great about yourself, keep in the back of your mind that you don't want to put it all back on. When you're losing weight for a special event, it's very easy to then let up and the weight comes on so easily! And then you kick yourself. So just keep that in the back of your mind and try to make this a lifestyle change and not just another "diet".

You can eat healthfully on a budget! I suggest meal planning as a big help with the budget and shopping only once a week or once every two weeks. Is there an Aldi around you? I shop there. Whereas a full grocery cart at Kroger will run me about $300, I never leave Aldi having spent more than about $120. They have good frozen meat. Produce is hit and miss, but usually it's very good. Milk is far cheaper than other stores and bonus, skim milk is $.10 cheaper than 2%! I love Aldi. And when making the mac & cheese (if you must ;)) I make it with double skim milk and no better and my picky children do not notice the difference. And try using it as a small side dish rather than the main course.

dragonwoman64
01-09-2010, 11:53 AM
Oye that is a seriously KILLER dress! I love it. :D

As for your doc, just lay it all out there. Tell him what you did last year and why it didn't work. Really hash out the different options. Don't let him say "Okay, eat X calories and exercise 30min a day" if it's not plausible for you. You can also ask for a referral to a dietician who would be even better at helping you get a handle on things.

:hug:s You're a beautiful woman with a gorgeous dress and you're going to have a spectacular wedding. Don't fret!

this is what came to my mind. you look GREAT, beautiful dress! Congratulations! Whatever weight you are at the wedding, you're going to look gorgeous.

Lackie
01-09-2010, 12:01 PM
I agree with what everyone else has said. AND I had to tell you that your dress is GORGEOUS!! I think you make it look better than the model in it. :D SERIOUSLY love it!