100 lb. Club - Does it bother you when people ask?




bluebutterfly
01-05-2010, 01:45 AM
When the subject comes up, and I tell someone I've lost 125 pounds - they usually ask two questions:

1) "How did you do it?"

2) "How long did it take you to lose the weight?"

I'm totally ok explaining that I lost the weight by basically eating whole foods and exercising, etc. But, I really get uncomfortable with the "how long" question. It actually took me about 5 years. At one point, I gained some of the weight back because I was on a certain medication for about six months. When I was able to go off the medicine, I immediately started losing again.

The thing is, I'm proud of the weight I've lost. But, I'm embarrassed about how long it took.

So, does it bother you when people ask how long it's taken you to achieve your weight loss? If it does, what do you tell yourself to keep from letting it upset you?

Thanks!


Thighs Be Gone
01-05-2010, 01:50 AM
I don't get the question "how long did it take" because I don't discuss it and tell anyone. That being said, of course those that are in my real world KNOW I have lost weight and every now and again I will get questions. I try not to go into much detail and usually get into a spill on whole foods and fiber--the organic thing, etc. If it's someone that I know is "safe" I offer to help them in any way I can.

LouisaH
01-05-2010, 02:02 AM
My god, you have nothing to be embarrassed about! You are awesome, and nobody would ever think less of you because you didn't lose all the weight at once, in a short period of time. You can say "over the course of a few years" and leave it at that, but for goodness sake don't let it upset you. The fact is, you have a greater chance of keeping the weight off by doing it over a period of time, as a lifestyle change rather than as a strict diet that you are likely to discard once the extra weight is gone.

You know everyone here is proud of you (and envious) and encouraged by your success!


bluebutterfly
01-05-2010, 02:02 AM
Thighs Be Gone .... That makes sense. I don't go around talking about it to just anyone. I usually just get the question when I run into someone I haven't seen in a long while. Then, they are surprised and ask about it.

Louisa....Thank you! I like your suggestion of saying "a few years". Part of me knows it's better to lose slowly, but there's a whole culture of fast, fast, fast. I really do appreciate your support!

mandalinn82
01-05-2010, 02:06 AM
Why not give something positive like "well, I changed my lifestyle in X healthy way, and I've lived that way for the 6 years since" or equivalent. After all, weight loss and weight maintenance aren't such different animals, you know?

bluebutterfly
01-05-2010, 02:16 AM
Mandalinn - I like that idea a lot. It's deffinitly been a whole life style change for me. I started at 402 and now weigh 277, so I still have many pounds to lose.

Iconised Ghost
01-05-2010, 02:26 AM
both questions bother me a bit, and I usually say "oh I've lost a bit and it took as long as it took", smile and change the subject. Its really no ones business except those I choose to tell. Emphasis on the "I". But I'm a sensitive soul about it so a little defensive :lol:

edit: sorry! didnt realise this was the 100lb club >.< excuse me for butting in

Beverlyjoy
01-05-2010, 06:12 AM
It never bothered me - I think, often, folks are looking for some answers to lose weight themselves. Folks always want to know how long. Five years - tell them - when you lose it slowly it's more likely to stay off.

Wonderful - a fabulous accomplishment.

SNMomof1
01-05-2010, 06:56 AM
Honestly, it sounds better to me that it took 5yrs and not just 1. It means that you're dedicated and just in it for a "quick fix and gain back". KWIM? :hugs:

Eliana
01-05-2010, 07:59 AM
You're going to feel what you feel, but know that you could be proud that it took five years! Most people, if they were told it would take them five years to shed all the weight would not even get started! I think it's amazing that you stuck with it for five years. Five years?! Man, that's amazing! Not many people have the stick-to-itness necessary for that. I'm very, very impressed.

I'm still waiting for the questions. I haven't figured out how to address them yet. My current problem is thinking when I say "Yeah, I've lost 27 lbs" they'll say "Really? Where?" LOL! Or "You've lost that much and I only just now noticed?"

TJFitnessDiva
01-05-2010, 08:33 AM
I live in a small town and it's come up quite a bit...mainly speculation behind my back (things like I had surgery, have an eating disorder, etc) so when they have the courage to talk to me about it I tell them the weight I lost and then go into whole foods is very important, then how you have to love yourself, blahblahblah...by the time I start on the whole foods their eyes glaze over and the rest is icing on the cake :lol: I usually don't get asked how long it's taken! If I would my answer would be something smarta$$ like "long enough" lol

katkitten
01-05-2010, 09:11 AM
are we not sposed to post here unless we lost 100 pounds? i love this forum because i think you guys are really inspiring and have really interesting discussions so i always come here first. If i added up all the weight i've lost in my life it would be well over a hundred pounds. Does that count? ;0P

personally, i think that this focus on trying to lose weight fast is part of what keeps people fat. I know that, when I place time related goals for weight loss it often trips me off. This is one of the things that has derailed earlier dieting attempts and is what I am trying to avoid now. If I expect to lose 2 lbs every week, I'm going to get disappointed and eventually give up. I think it would actually be good for the general public to hear MORE stories about slow weight loss.

(great weight loss, btw!)

thistoo
01-05-2010, 09:13 AM
Huh. I don't think anyone's ever asked me how long before. I suppose because I move around a lot, and when I moved here I was already 30 pounds into my journey. So nobody needs to ask, because they've had front row seats the entire time. :D

They do ask all sorts of invasive questions about what I'm doing, how hard I'm working, how much have I lost, etc. etc. I am pretty resigned to being public property, at least as far as my weight loss is concerned, with my coworkers. They are not known for their discretion, that's for sure.

As far as your five years, I am three and a half years in and not at goal, so I'm right there with you. You're five years into the lifestyle you'll be leading for the rest of your life; there's not a single thing about that to be ashamed of!

thistoo
01-05-2010, 09:15 AM
are we not sposed to post here unless we lost 100 pounds? i love this forum because i think you guys are really inspiring and have really interesting discussions so i always come here first. If i added up all the weight i've lost in my life it would be well over a hundred pounds. Does that count? ;0P

Technically this forum is for anyone with 100 lbs. or more *to* lose, but anyone and everyone is welcome, regardless of how much or little they've got to lose. That's one of the best things about this forum. :)

I've only lost 90 pounds so far, but they haven't kicked me out yet. ;)

Eliana
01-05-2010, 09:21 AM
Yep, my understanding is that this is a place where we can feel like we're in good company among those who have 100+ to lose. Sometimes it's hard for me to encounter someone who has 20 lbs to lose who calls themselves "fat". It's just hard to hear. And in this forum I likely won't encounter that.

time2lose
01-05-2010, 09:41 AM
I imagine people are asking that because you are an inspiration to them. You have nothing to be embarrassed about! However, I understand how you feel. In this day and age of "The biggest loser" contestants losing 100 pounds in 6 months or less, it is easy for us slower losers to feel inferior. I stuggle with that because my loss has been slow. You are showing that you don't have to lose 100 pounds in a short period of time to be successful.

I really appreciate you posting about this. It encourages me to know that with persistence, I can lose this weight even if it does take 5 years. You should be very proud of yourself. You have changed your life.

I think that I am going to take some of the suggestions of the other posters. I am going to say, "I have been developing healthy habits of diet and exercise for several years and have lost weight because of it." That way the emphasis will be on the healthy changes instead of the weight loss.

I hope that you will tell people that it took years. There is no telling how many people you will encourage and inspire.

Thank you! :carrot::carrot:

ubergirl
01-05-2010, 09:58 AM
I agree that spending 5 years losing weight is more of an accomplishment than anything I can imagine.

To keep your weight heading downward for five straight years?!?

That is an accomplishment about which anyone should be proud.

I like the idea of saying that you changed your lifestyle five years ago, because that's exactly it, isn't it.

You are an inspiration!!

bluebutterfly
01-05-2010, 10:35 AM
When I logged on to this forum today, I was (happily) surprised to see the number of people who'd responded to my post. Then, I started reading. Now there are tears streaming down my face. Each of you has offered me such encouragement and support...I'm just amazed. And to be told that I'm an inspiration to some people! Wow! I can't tell you all how much that means to me. :thanks:

I'm going to adopt some form of the "I changed my eating and exercise habits several years ago to get healthy, and have lost weight as a result".

CLCSC145
01-05-2010, 11:37 AM
I think you've settled on a terrific answer!

Personally I'm jealous that you can tell people what you've lost. Other than shouting it from the rooftops here, I have yet to be able to utter how much I have lost when people ask. I just say "a lot". I have a hard time seeing it as the success I know logically that it is - all I can focus on is my shame from letting myself get so far gone. As if they couldn't tell!

dragonwoman64
01-05-2010, 12:02 PM
I'm a slow looser, and still have a ways to go. Congrats on such a fantastic accomplishment! I agree you shouldn't feel any shame at all in what you've done. In fact, I think it's great that you're sharing that and showing people even if it takes time, persistance gets you to your goal, which it certainly did for you. Better to stick at it than to say this is taking too long, I'll never do it and surrender.

I see it as a lifestyle change, so for me there's not an end eating and exercise wise.

WhitePicketFences
01-05-2010, 12:07 PM
I think that's a great answer.

Nobody's actually inquired into my timeline, though recently at a woman who politely congratulated me on my weight loss and asked how I did it went silent for few moments before wondering aloud how long it'd been since a group of us were at X event [last time she and I hung out].

Said event was last August, at my high weight and just before I began losing ... I could follow her thought process, there :-)

thistoo
01-05-2010, 12:32 PM
I have a hard time seeing it as the success I know logically that it is - all I can focus on is my shame from letting myself get so far gone. As if they couldn't tell!

I still struggle with this quite a bit myself. Logically I know how hard I've worked and how much fortitude it's taken, but to have gained 125 extra pounds in the first place...well, it's hard to face that down some days.

nelie
01-05-2010, 12:37 PM
It doesn't bother me when people ask but also as time goes by, people will mostly stop asking. The newness of it all makes people ask because they want to know how/what/etc. Of course I've found that mostly they want some miracle and I can't give them that. All I can give them is that it was a total change in lifestyle and mindset that got me from where I was to where I am now.

Eliana
01-05-2010, 12:47 PM
Nelie, I think too that maybe jealousy sets in. :) I know that when people lose weight and I notice I'll ask, but then as they continue, I actually feel jealous about their success. Human nature sucks, doesn't it? :dizzy:

saef
01-05-2010, 12:54 PM
Blame this question on living in a culture that likes numbers & most particularly, statistics.

I'm reminded of my job, where we're always concerned about metrics for our job performance & our company performance. Nothing can be deemed good or worthwhile unless you can produce the metrics to support your position. Which is fine for the business world, but not so fine when we're talking about a person & her feelings of well-being & competence.

One thing I've learned on these forums is that numbers mean everything & nothing.

You can stand on a scale, check the number against the BMI charts, have your blood pressure taken, your cholesterol levels measured, your EKG charted & your A1C calculated, & etc., and get one sense of where your weight is & how your health is, and whether you are "normal" or "overweight" or "obese." You can go by sizes in clothing lines, watching the numbers change.

And then there's this whole other reality going on inside you, which the numbers will not adequately describe. You can achieve all your numbers & succeed by all measurements & still feel fat & unhappy. And the reverse is also possible.

What I am trying to say is that those "five years" are just another number & you must not let them take anything away from your well-earned sense of having accomplished something incredibly worthwhile. Doing it in five months or five years, whatever, it doesn't matter. What matters is how you feel about what you have done. Right now. And I really hope you feel good.

katkitten
01-05-2010, 01:30 PM
Yep, my understanding is that this is a place where we can feel like we're in good company among those who have 100+ to lose. Sometimes it's hard for me to encounter someone who has 20 lbs to lose who calls themselves "fat". It's just hard to hear. And in this forum I likely won't encounter that.

i think there is also something very daunting about saying "i have to lose over a 100 pounds" that makes someone's approach to weight loss need to be different than someone who has 20 lbs to lose. losing weight is hard no matter what but there is a different mental game/strategy that is necessary when you have a longer road ahead of you.

duckyyellowfeet
01-05-2010, 02:09 PM
I don't think you have any reason to be ashamed. You didn't gain all the weight in 6 months, so people shouldn't expect it to come off that fast. But to echo the thoughts of many, focusing on the healthier lifestyle aspect of losing your weight should be enough. For the people who really push, just tell them its a rather person question, it took the right amount of time for my body to adjust and change the subject.

Congrats, btw :)

Elladorine
01-05-2010, 04:29 PM
It's actually been close to five years since my highest weight of 360, now that I think about it. I really don't technically know how long it's taken to plow through this 112 pound loss since a majority of that time was sitting at a plateau of 285.

While visiting family (that I only see every few years) this past month, of course I was asked how long it took me to lose the weight. I explained I'd lost over 35 since the summer and 110 altogether and left it at that. Explaining how was somehow easier, even though it was a more complicated answer. ;)

I also lamented out loud that I couldn't believe I'd let myself get so big, but they were actually very understanding about that. But I don't face these questions much outside of family since I haven't lived anywhere near my old friends in a couple of years now.