20-Somethings - Food Police?

So last night I hosted a small party. It was just a few friends hanging out ringing in the new year. I served healthy and not so healthy food. At one point during the evening I got up to get a plate of food and a friend said to me. "Do you really need another plate you've been eating all night?" As soon as he said it others chimed in and asked how I could possibly lose weight the way I was eating...

Ok Seriously? Has this happened to anyone else? What makes people think it's OK to judge how I eat?

It was my party, I made the food, I knew exactly what and how much I was eating and I don't feel like I went overboard at all. I told everyone, that I only splurge at special events and I was/am confidant that I will still lose weight this week so there was no reason for anyone to be concerned about my eating habits.

Has anyone else been busted by the food police?:mad:

That was so rude of them! I mean really!

Oh no, He DIDN't! *snap*

Some people... they have no shame! Try not to let it affect you too much tho - they're the ones with the problems. Problems, and not to mention lack of social competence. Makes me mad. Grr.


Annie

http://299lbs.wordpress.com/

I have of course by my mother, I am sure most ppl on here can relate to that one. Really that was rude of them! I dont know what to say other than no one can understand your plan or your body as much as YOU do! Im sure you did a great job last night, and just try to brush it off.

:-O oh my gosh..some people have such nerve!

So rude! I wouldn't let it get to you. You have lost an amazing amount of weight! You obviously know what you are doing!

The minute you announce that you are on a diet the Food Police will appear and they seem to feel that they have the right to monitor your chice of food. It will either be to much or too little to them. For this reason I DO NOT tell anyone I am dieting.

That is soo infuriating! The best thing to do is to give them a response that will end the whole conversation instead of allowing them to ask questions about how you can possibly lose weight. Something like, "I'm following a specific plan and what I'm eating now falls perfectly within that plan, which btw has helped me lose 80 pounds so far." Lol. Anyway just ignore them, you know what you're doing and even if it was a little off plan, it is NONE of their business. Next time one of them makes a wrong move, maybe you should step in and police their lives.. things like smoking, bad boyfriends, things like that. No one likes it when they're put in front of the firing squad!

I know how you feel, except people in my family complain about how little I am eating (according to them). Every little thing they seem to nitpick. If I simply look at the back of a box I am "too obsessed".

My boyfriend does this all the time, but I told him its ok it really helps me ALOT

Oh, that would make me mad, but i'm with everyone else. How is it their business anyway?!

My DH does this, I asked him to help keep me in check. It has gotten annoying at times so now I just usually let him know when I do not want his help.

"I've lost 80 lbs without your help, what makes you think I need it now?"


MTA: Sorry, I'm not a 20-something,but it was the thread on top!

That is so rude! I've gotten it from my mom a little, but I don't really mind it, and she doesn't do it in public because that would be really embaressing...

But really, I would have freaked on them so good job for keeping your cool!

Wow...how rude! I think you handled it gracefully.

I have yet to be busted by the food police...*knock on wood*

That is CRAZY! I haven't really had this happen and man oh man it would have been hard to keep from making a snide remark.

When I was younger my family did that a lot. I don't live around family since my husband is in the Army but when I visited my family this past October Im sure they noticed that I gained but none of them said anything since they know how hard we have it since my husband just got back from his 2nd deployment to Iraq. But my uncle who I rarely see even when i do visit family had the nerve to call me a house, it was so rude and I was shocked at how blunt some people can be. If I wasn't so upset I would of told him what a piece of crap he looked like but I didnt want him to see me upset so I just laughed it off. Im usually really good at keeping my weight under control but the stress of raising 2 kids by myself for a 2nd time was so hard and I let myself gain 30 lbs. But Im focused and Im feeling back to my oldself and Im ready to get in shape. When I get smaller I plan on telling him how old he looks and talk about how rotten his teeth are and how he wears the same ugly vest and glasses that he's wore since 1950s. I can't wait, thankfully I only see him when I visit MD which is every couple of years.

ETA: Sorry if I have offended anyone with what I wrote but people don't realize how much it hurts when they say such rude things and how it affects us inside. I just needed to vent a little Im sure you all understand

i would have told them what i put in my stomach is none of their business.

honestly i dont understand how some people have the right to say such things to people.

Yeah, I'm with the ladies who are rightly pointing out that.. woman, you have lost EIGHTY POUNDS. You know what you're doing! And you're losing it in a healthy, maintainable way... one that allows you to have snacky junk sometimes if you WANT to have snacky junk! Not crash-dieting in an obsessive way and never allowing yourself treats, which can lead to binges. Not one of those people has lived in your body, or knows what you can or cannot eat in order to lose weight.

I very frequently work 200-calorie Skor bars into my diet, and one of my coworkers works at weight watchers, and has lost 40 lbs. She's very sweet, but she raises her eyebrows a bit any time she sees me eating my Skor bars, and I feel this need to justify them and explain that I'm at 1,300 calories WITH my chocolate bar.... Like, honestly, let me do this my own way!



Completely off-topic, Corazonas, I'm SURE I've told you this before, but.. your picture looks so much like Ginnifer Goodwin (http://www.greenwithglamour.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/Ginnifer-Goodwin.jpg), it's insane. Totally gorgeous.

This thread is awful! I can't believe that friends would be so rude, especially in front of a party full of people who then chimed in?!

I sometimes get this from my mum or brother and from my boyfriend when I ask him to... but usually they just get told to sod off. :D

My boyfriend does this all the time, but I told him its ok it really helps me ALOT


I agree with this. It keeps me accountable, so that way I do feel guilty if I'm sitting down eating a tub of Haagen Dazs or something - I should feel guilty for cheating on my diet in that scenario. I can, however, see how it would be frustrating if you are eating right and still catching flack.

Last night my boyfriend's mom told me to start my diet tomorrow instead of yesterday because she had made an Oreo cream pie. My boyfriend offered me ONE BITE of his. Yeah, um, no. Never offer me pie!

Wow, rude much? I would have taken a very large, deliberate bite of the food on my plate and told them to f off.

The only one allowed to question my eating habits is my husband, but thats because I've asked him to. It keeps me accountable to someone other than myself (because I'm better at lying to myself than I'd ever be at lying to him).

oh man, I needed some food police last night. Though had my friends actually done that I would have been pissed. Especially bringing it up in front of others!

Maybe they were just trying to look out for you. That doesn't mean they were right to do it, but maybe they didn't do it maliciously.

I remember when I quit smoking. I started to quit in late February when I got a bad cold and I wasn't smoking much anyway for about a week. I cut the amount I was smoking in half and I slowly cut down over a long period of time. Towards the end, I would sometimes go days without smoking and sometimes I would have a few in a day. But that mostly depended on how stressed out I was.

My boyfriend would always give me a hard time about going for a cigarette. He would ask why I was smoking and that if I smoked I would start smoking all the time again, etc. I had to tell him to mind his own damn business. He wasn't helping and his interfering was just making me want to smoke more! Besides, he wasn't trying to quit and he has no idea how my mind and body work. Some people might be successful going cold turkey or using some kind of pill or gum, but I knew I had to get myself to not WANT cigarettes anymore. We're all different.

I had my last cigarette in June (I think it was June, I wasn't keeping track. As predicted I just stopped wanting cigarettes.) he still smokes 1.5-2 packs a day.

SO THERE! :snooty:

Oh, for the record, he's not a jerk at all. He's a really sweet guy. I know he was trying to help. But he's the type of person that needs to be told what to do and I'm the defiant type. We basically want to be treated in opposite ways. Maybe you're more defiant like me (you have to do things your own way and in your own time) and your friend is like my boyfriend (Wants discipline because he has a hard time with self-control.) He has only been supportive about my weight loss though. Maybe since I was right about the smoking. haha Anyway, just sharing my experience on a similar subject. :)

Oh, and congratulations on losing 80 pounds! That's awesome. You're an inspiration!

That is terrible! I feel as though friends and family often has no idea how to approach the subject of weight loss... But the best choice would always be to use a little sensitivity. Everyone is right... you have lost 80 pounds! You need no advice from them! The only way to lose weight and keep it off is to do it in the way that you are, allowing yourself a treat to combat the overwhelming urge to give up.

On the other hand, people really doesn't get any better after you've lost it. Thanksgiving, my grandmother (who was always very critical of my weight- she wouldn't let me eat bread when we went out to dinner as a child) took one look at me and told me that I looked sick. She said that I had lost so much weight that I looked sick, and that I ought to go to the doctor to make sure I wasn't sick. I'm not sick, Grandma, but I did spend the last couple of months working very hard to lose this weight!

You can't win with people like that. You are an inspiration, though! Just remember that you are doing this for yourself, and anything they have to say about it is irrelevant.

If this process has taught me anything, it's that my advice is usually only welcome when asked.

For me, it was hard to not go around telling folks how I had "seen the light", but I learned pretty fast that that's not how to reach people.

What he did was just rude, though. I would have told him so, too. This reminds me of right before my wedding and wife of DH's best man heard me make a comment about "asparagus and jello" for the next couple of days until the wedding (I was kidding!) and she took it upon herself to remind me every time I ate something that wasn't lettuce. I could've smacked her.

OMG how rude... Im sorry, people are so inconsiderate...

This has happened to me a few times from my grandmother.