100 lb. Club - Denial - It Ain't Just A River In Egypt, People!
12-26-2009, 11:46 PM
I thought the title may make a few giggle, lol.
On to the serious, though. We're all guilty of it. Denial. Especially when it comes to our weight loss struggles. Here's my story.
I'm a big talker. I can quit drinking soda, eating junk food going back for seconds, whenever I want. I can start exercising whenever I want. I can do anything whenever I want. Let me live my life...I have my whole life to live.
BUT I DON'T.
I need to admit some things to myself, and I'm doing it right here, right now. Whether I like it or not, I do have an addiction. I am addicted to soda, I am addicted to fast food, and honestly, I'm addicted to being lazy.
I live a sedentary lifestyle. I never work out...as a matter of fact, rarely do I even so much as take the stairs if an elevator is made readily available, even if I'm only going up one floor. I need to start DOING something. Whatever it is.
Also. Every time I have a little extra money, I immediately spend it - on fast food. I'm not sure why. I know understanding why is a key component to ending the hurtful behavior...however I have no clue how to go about this.
I've come to two conclusions:
a)I'm one of those people who will never quit unless I do it cold turkey
b)I'm one of those people who will never start if I put anything off, even a little bit
Thanks for reading, 3fc. Now I would like you all to share your stories of denial in weight loss, and how you overcame those hurdles. (or how you are overcoming them, or will overcome them!)
12-27-2009, 12:26 AM
That was me!!!!!! I was always going to go on a diet tomorrow, but of course tomorrow never came. Something just clicked for me this past year and I actually did something. Like you, I was addicted to food (I was an overeater/emotional eater) and led a very sedentary lifestyle. Because I have no self-control when it comes to junk food I quit cold turkey. It wasn't easy (I like to compare it to a drug addict going cold turkey) but definitely worth the pain since living healthy feels so much better. Of course I'm not perfect and have had a few slips, but they're becoming less frequent and less 'bad' (the last time I overate it was on salad, lol).
For me, dealing with all the mental barriers is an ongoing challenge. I've learned to focus on the present/future and let go of past mistakes. I try to openly acknowledge my issues and I've found blogging to be extremely helpful & of course this forum has helped a lot. :)
Redreine, apparently you're my long lost twin or something. :)
When I read the part about the elevator, I literally started nodding...me too. And I don't even know why I don't take the stairs, I just don't.
Recently I faced the fact that as much as I like to deny it, I am lazy. It has nothing to do with the fat and lazy stereotype either. I was lazy at 135 (oh, 135, how I miss you and your size 8 jeans). The last time I wasn't lazy was when I was like 9. Oh, the energy I had then, what with the endless bike riding and hiking in the woods. What happened?
It's funny -- and not in a ha ha way -- I'm forever railing on my 15 year old stepdaughter about choices. "You had a choice when you came home from school...you could have done your homework right away or you could have sat in front of the tv for 3 hours watching Friends DVDs." Yet here I am, making the same poor choices I discourage her from making.
Instead of settling in at night on the couch watching tv or on my butt doing whatever it is I manage to do all night, I could be moving. I have a gazillion workout videos. ****, I have an iPod. I could just dance in my living room like a lunatic and it would be more productive than what I do. What I choose to do. How can she look at me and no think I'm a big 'ol hypocrite?
And with me it's this endless loop of ridiculousness. I wind up staying up way too late for no apparent reason, so there's no way I'm getting up for that 5 am workout. So I go to work, come home and do all my domestic stuff, get tired and instead of just listening to my body and going to sleep, I push through to my second wind which throws me into insomnia. Lather, rinse, repeat. If I could just cut the evening stuff off at the pass, I could get up early and go to the gym then have guilt-free evenings of doing whatever I want.
I can't give you my magic formula to overcome the hurdles, because I don't have one (and it pisses me off! :)) All I can say is that I'm trying to change things a little bit at a time. My first step is going to bed a bit earlier every night until I get myself to the point where waking up at 5 isn't horrendous. Once I get there I can start working out in the morning, and from there I can tackle whatever my next obstacle may be.
Just know that you're not alone in this. And if you have any words of wisdom or something that works for you, please share!:hug:
12-27-2009, 08:22 AM
Oh my gosh!!! Sounds like you have lot's of twins running around...Well, add me to the list too! This is me as well...I know all of what I have to do...I do it for a few days and then back to my old bad habits or I just say I'll START tomorrow. For me, my tomorrows come and go like clock work. That's why I'm fat and miserable. Thanks for your words!
I was in denial because I would just pretend that everything was fine and I didn't have any problems: weight problems or otherwise. In actuality I was very depressed and very overweight. I was afraid to get any help. I finally came to the point where I knew I couldn't be a good mother to my kids if I didn't change things. I went to a psychiatrist and she is wonderful and is treating the depression. I then went to a bariatric doctor and am getting help with my weight and exercise. I think that getting help instead of just doing a diet program on my own is what makes this time so different for me.
I also found that being lazy has gotten me where I am and am trying to work on it. I hope we all make things better in 2010!
12-27-2009, 08:58 AM
gloo- can i make a suggestion to break your cycle? Instead of dealing with this endless cycle all the time of feeling miserable and guilty, etc etc, why dont you have just ONE miserable day where you wake up at 5 am to do your workout, no matter how tired you are or how late you stayed up the night before? So you wake up at 5, be tired all day long from lack of sleep, then you will go to bed EARLY and BAM! the cycle is broken! Im sure that is very oversimplified, and it might take your body more than one day to adjust, but i PROMISE it does NOT take long to get used to waking up early to workout! Ive taught my body to wake up at 3 am to run everyday! Of course, that means i go to bed at 8 pm and i have NO SOCIAL life! :)