Lighten Up! - Real WOmen Vs Martha Stewart

View Full Version : Real WOmen Vs Martha Stewart

08-02-2002, 01:08 PM
I thought that this was way too funny not to share!

Martha Stewart: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar
cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Real Women: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for
Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up,
eating it anyway.

Martha Stewart: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag
with the potatoes.

Real Women: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry
for up to a year.

Martha Stewart: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use
a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the
outside of the cake.

Real Women: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.

Martha Stewart: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still
cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an
instant "fix me up."

Real Women: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's
too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: I made it and
you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes.

Martha Stewart: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the
refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Real Women: Celery? Never heard of the stuff.

Martha Stewart: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking
to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Real Women: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing
egg whites over the crust so I just don't do it.

Martha Stewart: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it
on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Real Women: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, etc., chill and drink. You
might still have the headache, but who cares?

Martha Stewart: If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex
dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars

Real Women: Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it.

And finally the most important tip -

Martha Stewart: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice
cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Real Women: Leftover wine??????

08-05-2002, 01:15 AM
lol J thats priceless!

09-04-2002, 10:33 PM
I wonder if Martha will ask for a uniform with vertical stripes when she checks into the gray bar hotel ?
you know how horizontal stripes make you look 10 lbs heavier lol !