[miss may]

Hi all,

Am feeling a bit down today. I've got five kilos to go to my goal weight (I'm now at 60, not 59 as my ticker says, sorry I haven't changed it), and I just wonder if I'll ever get there.

I feel like I've run out of will power or am just so up and down at the moment. I'd been doing really well last week, but then went away for the weekend and completely fell off the wagon and now just ate a big sweet pastry and feel gross.

Sometimes I just get so sick of having to think about food and fitness and everything, and am really just starting to realise that this will be a lifelong thing for me. I will never just reach my goal weight and be like 'well done' and can just relax. It kind of feels like I'm an alcoholic or something, but with food - that it will be a fight or struggle every day. But obviously with food you can abstain completely, so every day it's just about making good choices.

Whoa, ok, sorry for huge rant! I was just feeling so down and kind of physically sick feeling like I have sabotaged myself and that I'll never get where I want to be, but I guess in reality it's only a few days, and weight loss is a lifetime battle, so just need to try and make better choices next time. I guess I just wish it would all happen quickly, but I know in the long run that wouldn't be good.

[JMC885]

Understanding that we're forming lifelong habits is the hardest realization; we may never be able to eat and drink like our best friends. Achieving a goal--****, even approaching it--takes work and discipline, and because of this, every little step is monumental.

Don't discredit everything you've done. You've lost 60 kilos! Look at some of your old clothes if you have them around. Try to lift 60 kilos the next time you're at the gym and think about how much it is!

Weight loss is one **** of a fight, but it's nothing you haven't conquered.

[miss may]

Thanks, JMC885. It is a hard realisation.

(and just to clarify - I've only lost 17 kilos. I would be a bit dead if I lost 60, but your advice still stands- I have come a long way. I just need to remember that)

[Gelene]

Miss May,
You have lost 17 kilo(almost 40 pounds). Don't end the fight now! Only 5 kilo to go, WOW! So you had an off day. You ALSO came to the realization, this is not a DIET it is a way of life. Good for you!
I am not saying that you do not have a reason to worry about food-fitness-and everything, but you yourself said "this is a life long thing for me". Be sooooo proud of the you that you have become! For most it is a life long thing. You have come to realize it, therefor my friend, you have WON!

[Iconised Ghost]

i've been feeling the same lately, and what ive found is that you (well, I xD) have gradually just given up thinking about it. I know what I should be eating and how much. So I have just stopped arguing with myself about it and just started eating what i know is better without the stress. Its a hard and slow process, but it does happen

[miss may]

Thanks for your comments and suggestions. You've made me feel a lot more positive about things :-) xx

[yenniechan]

*SQUISHES* I completely feel your frustration. After reading many blogs, I decided to start keeping a journal and through that I realized my "sef-sabotages" were because I secretly didn't believe I could really do it. Just thinking about having to count calories and run on the treadmill for the rest.of.my.life gave me a headache and made me scared. So every time I was a little "off plan" - it was little confirmation of what I believed was my doomed failure...so I'd eat to cover the misery.

Realizing this has made it easier to work and "talk" myself through my evils. I tell myself to not think of the "big long journey", but to just focus on doing well *one* day at a time. What to do when I hit goal? Well...I'll tackle that hurdle when I get there (which will probably be going over to the maintenance thread to seek advice from those seasoned veterans). I'm hoping that if I just take it on a daybyday basis, one day I'll step back and realize...hey...I've been doing this for awhile now...maybe this *is* my new life. And I don't think it'll be that bad. At least this is what I've gleaned from this process....hopefully it gave you something to think about. GOOD LUCK!!!!