I've been hanging around here for a while, but haven't posted in nearly a year, I guess. I think my lack of posting happened right around the time that my body and I started disagreeing about what size I should be. (that is to say, I started eating like crap, lost the will to workout... you get the picture)
So now I'm 30 pounds UP in a year's time, none of my clothes fit and I'm hating life (actually, i'm mostly just hating getting dressed in the morning, which consists of my same over-sized hooded sweatshirt and increasingly more tight pair of jeans uniform everyday).
i'm not really sure what happened to cause the initial re-gain and/or why i didn't catch it before it got to be so far gone. but here i am. frustrated, annoyed, sick of my body not being the body i had achieved, knowing I have the ability to get back to it, and still watching the scale hit numbers i hadn't seen in 4 years.
can someone please tell me how to break the cycle? point me in the direction of some motivation? anything so I don't have to by yet another pair of BIGGER pants.
Oh Dancinggirl! I've been there! About a year ago, I was weighing in about 5 lbs. away from my goal. Then, a series of difficulties derailed me and one day, turned into a week, one week turned into a month and one month, turned into 8 months. I regained almost 70 lbs. of my hard earned weight loss. It was horrible. Once the spiral began, it was like I was trying to put on weight with a vengance, while all at once, feeling completely out of control and not knowing how to stop it. I knew that if I could have one good day, I could turn that into a few good days, a week, a month, a year, forever? Yet, I didn't know how to do it.
My advice might not be helpful, but I just want to tell you how it changed for me, in the even that it does shed some light. I went to see a really nice doctor who asked me some questions. I started to justify my weight and to tell her how I gained all my weight. I told her about the horrible things that had happened in my life, but as I said those words, it hit me like a ton of bricks: there was no good reason to be fat. I shouldn't have turned to food and given up the way I did.
As soon as I left that office, I completely changed. I decided that I MUST have one good day and maybe...just maybe, I could turn that one good day into another. I cleaned up my diet and when I saw something I wanted to eat, I simply decided that I would try to postpone it until tomorrow. I then added back the exercise...very slowly. I was humiliated to go to the gym because people there used to look up to me and admire how much weight I had lost before and now, it was like walking down the hall of shame. I had a talk with myself and realized that it was more important to get healthy than to wonder what people are thinking. I still care, but it's something I try not to think about. My health is way more important.
I have had many excuses to not get back into the swing of things. I have a child with special needs, I have chronic daily migraines, which means there never is a moment when I'm not in pain of varying degrees. I struggle with depression. Taking care of a house with my kids, my husband, my dog and my cat isn't easy with the pain I"m in, but I MUST do it. I MUST separate my emotions from my food....otherwise, I will just feel worse.
I hope you will find your one good day and that you can make that day turn into many others. YOu've done it before so you know what it takes. Just go for it...this is not an easy journey, but it's the most worthwhile one.
Write down everything you eat every day, write your weight at the beginning of the day, and what exercise you do. I do this anytime I see a strange up fluctuation -- okay, let's face it, they aren't strange; I know exactly what I am doing wrong. Anyways, this will at least hold you accountable.
I had a big chat with myself in September. I reacquainted myself with my fitday account, actually got on my elliptical machine, started stripping and getting on the scale each morning, started packing my lunch again ...
I can't tell you how many times over the previous 18 months I'd done most of that! But this time it just clicked. And I don't know why.
Just keep trying to start ... I guess. And don't forget about 3FC. We're here for you.
I was in this position back in 2008. I didn't get around to doing anything about it until this summer. In the meantime I had gained back about 16 lbs. When it clicked (and it already has for you), I stopped eating junk food and started watching my portions. Instead of reaching for chips when I wanted a snack, I made sure to place a bunch of bananas and a bowl of grapes under the snack cabinet. That reminded me that I should be eating healthier and I ended up enjoying my fruit snack more than the chips because a. they taste better and b. I didn't feel guilty afterward. Exercise is more of a hurdle for me. Once I'm in "the zone," I can work out for 2-3 months at a time, but then something happens (doesn't it always) and I stop and then one day becomes a week becomes a month etc. The trick is to get right back on plan the minute you realize you're off plan. It doesn't matter how long you've been off-plan, just get back on.
You can do it!! Think of the money you'll save by not having to buy a bigger size pair of pants (or using that money for something cute in a smaller size) and use that as motivation. However, what gets me through each day is the scale - I weigh daily - and the fear of seeing the 160s again after all my hard work.
I was just thinking about this as I finally stepped on the scale after a horrendous few days. That's how easy it is to go on a bad roll and how hard it is to stop that juggernaut and start having good days again. For me it would have been easy to just continue the bad roll, but then I thought of 3FC and that this is not about a bad week, it's about changing my life for good, and there are bound to be ups and downs along the way and I have to nip this in the bud TODAY. I don't know if what I just rambled on helps at all, but I hope you get back on track again soon Dancingirl81! I know all about the walk of shame, only two years ago I lost a lot of weight (to about 130lbs) and became superfit. Then one day I didn't go to the gym, and next thing you know I hadn't exercised in months and gained so much weight that people were really shocked.
Last edited by Sanna Maria; 11-22-2009 at 06:32 AM.
I agree with the "one good day" concept. Make yourself an ironclad committment that today you will stick with your plan. Don't worry about tomorrow. Don't beat yourself up about the past. Today you are going to do it!
Wannabeskinny...thanks so much for your complement. It is SO hard when we fall off track and it feels like an impossible task to get back on....it's like we're giving up some sort of freedom to eat whatever we want....for me, I think I felt like at least with the food, I would be in charge and I would decide what I could eat and to me, that meant to eat everything in sight. What a sick and twisted mind I have! Of course I wasn't in control at all and it made me feel like my whole life was out of control. I think it's a control issue and it's many other issues as well.
I definitely keep a food log of everything that goes in my mouth. In fact, I don't eat something, until I have entered it into my food log (I use the Lose It application on my iTouch, in case anyone is interested). I also have a general idea of what I eat every day, so there isn't as much decision making that needs to be done. There are occasions when I go out to an event or party and I don't have as much control, but then I just limit my portions.
Dancinggirl, I really hope you will post here often. Who here hasn't been in your shoes? I would venture to say that most of us have. Just take it one step at a time. Don't deprive yourself of the life you want by giving into food. YOU be the one in charge!
Well, thankfully when this happened to me a few months ago....I had finally hit my goal of 170 lbs in September. I was trying so hard to get to 16?, and after a month , I gave up! I started slacking..., instead of waiting a year to snap out of it, like last time, I did the following in this order:
1. Weighed myself --this gives me a snapshot of how badly I have been doing. I was 180.6 lbs on 10-30
2. Assess my current eating habits by writing everything down. and weighing
daily.
3. Revise eating habits, and food available.
4. Calculate my BMR.
5. Method to track calories: FOOD JOURNALING!
6. Find a method to track calorie expenditure (pedometer watch)
7. Set a formula to lose weight.
BMR = 1585. Calories/day = 1200, -385 deficit.
Activity calories = -800 cs.
Total deficit = 1185 x7 =8295 =2.3 lbs/ wk.
Did it work. I am back down to 175.4 today. So I think it worked. It's a tad bit slower, but It is working, so I am not going to mess with it.
Dancinggirl, I really hope you will post here often. Who here hasn't been in your shoes? I would venture to say that most of us have. Just take it one step at a time. Don't deprive yourself of the life you want by giving into food. YOU be the one in charge!
Amen.
We all seem to have a different "thing or event" that makes the CLICK.
One of my biggest fears today is that I am scared of loosing the CLICK. Years ago I learned a couple acronyms for FEAR - f**k everything and run or face everything and recover.
I also know I am the person I am today because of what I have been through. Because of the weight losses and weight gains and all the things I have learned about ME! It is so important for me to be gentle with myself and have lots of quiet time. The other big one is to be HONEST...with myself and others.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other...keep coming back to all the things that keep you inspired in a healthy way!
THis is a great thread. I needed to read these great stories! I've been in a funk lately. Not gaining or anything, just feeling irritated and grouchy and not really feeling like I'm losing anything. The scale is creeping along and i'm afraid if I don't get over my funk it will creep all the way to a stop.
I gained back 30 pounds in a year and a half or so. At end of the gain I had, in some ways, stopped caring -- which really scared me!!
I had stopped doing a lot of the basics and had to get back to it. One thing that really helped was writing down everything I ate -- even if I strayed a bit. I realized that writing it down usually limits the damage to what I just ate -- maybe 200-400 calories or so. And then by writing it down I could adjust the rest of my day to recover. Rather than giving up and eating everything. So, even when I have bad days, at worst I am usually without much of a calorie deficit, rather than eating my way to a surplus, and a gain!
I have lost and gained many times; and all I can tell you is what I am doing now, and that is ... TO JUST KEEP ON GOING!
And, I also discovered recently that if I track what I eat -- I eat less; when I don't -- I eat more ... so I am journaling each day now! This just may be the key to success that we are looking for ...
Last edited by Justwant2Bhealthy; 11-22-2009 at 10:25 PM.
regaining... how did you break the cycle?
Think of the money you'll save by not having to buy a bigger size pair of pants (or using that money for something cute in a smaller size) and use that as motivation. However, what gets me through each day is the scale - I weigh daily - and the fear of seeing the 160s again after all my hard work.
I know all about the walk of shame, only two years ago I lost a lot of weight (to about 130lbs) and became superfit. Then one day I didn't go to the gym, and next thing you know I hadn't exercised in months and gained so much weight that people were really shocked.
Of course I wasn't in control at all and it made me feel like my whole life was out of control. I think it's a control issue and it's many other issues as well.
