General chatter - For the Santa Parents: At what age did the kids find out there was no Santa?




HotWings
11-20-2009, 12:56 PM
I am struggling with this. My oldest boy is 8 and very smart. He doesn't go to public school, but interacts with kids in cub scouts, etc. I don't want him getting made fun of because he might still believe in Santa. I kind of think he has it figured out (but is not completely sure), but I also have a 6 year old daughter that still loves the idea of Santa Claus.

Did you sit them down and tell them - did they hear it from someone else - if so, at what age??

:hohoho:


Windchime
11-20-2009, 01:02 PM
My kids are 23 and 22 now, so I don't remember the exact ages. My oldest son finally came right out and asked me; I think he must have been around 8 or so. I asked him if he really wanted to know and he said yes (which told me that he already kind of knew). So I was honest with him in a gentle way. He said that he already kind of knew, but then later he confessed that he was sorry that he had asked me. I don't remember my youngest son ever asking me for the truth about Santa; I'm guessing that his brother must have told him.

Even now that my boys are young college men, I still wake them up on Christmas morning by telling them that Santa was here. :)

HotWings
11-20-2009, 01:10 PM
Even now that my boys are young college men, I still wake them up on Christmas morning by telling them that Santa was here. :)

That's really cool! I don't plan on changing a thing gift-wise. They will still get a gift from Santa until they have kids of their own. My mom & dad did it that way, and I loved it. There was always one gift under the tree for each of us from "Santa" on Christmas morning. :yes:

It is just such a magical time for kids who believe in Santa - I hate to destroy that feeling!! I was disappointed as a kid when I found out, but I still loved thinking about Santa. :)


Windchime
11-20-2009, 01:27 PM
My boys still get things in their Christmas stockings, LOL. Except now instead of things like Silly Putty and pencils, it's Starbucks cards and small, inexpensive gadgets like ice scrapers and tire pressure gauges. One thing that they will always get, though, is the little mesh bag of foil-wrapped chocolate coins. :)

Quiet Ballerina
11-20-2009, 01:30 PM
I was 3 years old. My older brother and sister brought me downstairs as "Santa" and "Mrs. Claus" were putting out the Christmas gifts.

I got a puppy that year so I didn't really mind at the time. However, one of the neighbors would dress up as Santa and hand out gifts to the kids (gifts the parents had labeled and given to Santa ahead of time) and I would never go to Santa. I think in my mind Santa was a stranger using gifts to try and kidnap me.

My mom was pretty upset with my siblings when she found out years later that they had done that.

HaleyisLove
11-20-2009, 02:00 PM
I was kind of old before I stopped believing... I was a gullible kid and I didnt listen to all the kids telling me he wasnt real.... I found out because I found my moms shopping list and it just so happens the things she bought were things I got from Santa...

EZMONEY
11-20-2009, 02:10 PM
My son was about 8 when my ex sent him out to get her purse out of her car in the garage...forgetting Santa had made a stop in there! We were thinking that it was time to tell him but thought we would after Christmas...the time presented itself!

I am sure the oldest usually believe the longest, in less they hang out with kids that have older siblings.

You don't want your son to get embarrased either...there is a fine line on when...my guess is you are there...since you seem to be concerned.

Good luck!

Nothing beats that SANTA MAGIC...fun times....

ICUwishing
11-20-2009, 02:30 PM
DS10 is deeply suspicious but isn't ready to commit, because he might be wrong. Bless his little heart - he's probably headed for a job in politics. :P

theCandEs
11-20-2009, 02:40 PM
I have two boys, 9 and 6, and both of them still believe, but I think the oldest is very suspicious. He really wants to believe, though, so I'm not saying anything.

My mom accidentally told me when I was 8 or 9. I told her that none of the kids in my class believed in Santa anymore, and she thought that I meant I didn't believe, either. Not the best way to find out.

lauralyn
11-20-2009, 02:55 PM
:yikes: There is no Santa?!!?


My kids all found out around the age of 8 because they asked me. My son is 10 and just told me the other day that he was not sure and that if I had said there was a Santa he would have believed me. I kind of wish I had had one more year of him believing.

kaplods
11-20-2009, 02:56 PM
I wiped out my youngest sister's belief in magic in one fell swoop. She asked - well really told me "Santa isn't real, is he?" (I was 23 and she was 7). It was obvious that she knew, so there was no point lying to her, I just confirmed that Santa was like the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy, and she responded shocked "They're not real, either!"

I felt like a complete Grinch, but when my brother and I were little, Santa was the last holdeout (I think because the gifts were best). I figured out the tooth fairy when I woke one morning when my dad was getting ready for work (4am), and I got up and told my dad that the tooth fairy had forgotten to come, and before I got back to my bed, the quarter was there (mom was still pretending to be asleep) so to me it confirmed the existence of the tooth fairy - until I decided to be helpful the next morning and make my parents bed for them and found my hastily hidden tooth envelope under my mother's pillow.

In my case, I pretty much figured it out in second grade during a post-Christmas a show and tell. The obvious unfairness of the gifts "Santa" brought to the kids (and the fact that some very nice kids didn't get a visit from Santa at all), proved to me that Santa did NOT know who had been naughty and nice. The rich kids (even the ones who were really mean) got great gifts, the poorest kids (even the nicest) got small gifts or no gifts at all.

Not only did I figure it out, it made me hate my 2nd grade teacher even more. She was one of those sadistic teachers you suspected as a child (and as an adult) went in to teaching just so they could torture small children. The ones who put on such a sweet-faced act to parents during parent-teacher conferences, and in front of other teachers, and then transformed into satan incarnate the moment she was the only adult in the room.

BillBlueEyes
11-20-2009, 03:30 PM
My boys still get things in their Christmas stockings, ... they will always get the little mesh bag of foil-wrapped chocolate coins. :)Since forever my two adult kids have gotten gold foil-wrapped chocolate coins in the toe of their stockings.

But after I started this healthy journey four years ago, DW and I have moved away from HFCS chocolate. So, I had the best idea; I insert five US $1 coins that are gold colored. They love it and dive for it like $5 was big money.

.

EZMONEY
11-20-2009, 03:32 PM
Could I get a sock this year BILL?

mayness
11-20-2009, 03:40 PM
I was somewhere between 7 and 9 when I figured it out. My parents stuck with the Santa story for at least 2 years after I told them I knew... which annoyed the heck out of me. :D Even now, my mom tends to write "From Santa" on at least one of my gifts every year.

I had crushed a classmate's belief in leprechauns in 1st grade ("I don't know who left them in your room, but those are just Canadian dollars...") and felt TERRIBLE so I knew better when I figured out the truth about Santa -- I didn't mention it to anyone! (I did slip up again later, in 6th grade, when I explained how babies were made and made two girls cry.)

zoritsa
11-20-2009, 10:10 PM
My oldest was about 10(he's 16 now),but I think he suspected earlier.He was mad when he found out the truth and wanted to know why adults would lie to him.When I explained that it's the idea behind "Santa" and the giving...he wasn't as mad anymore.He's 16 now and helps me keep the spirit of Santa alive for my 7 year old.I'll be sad the day he figures it out.

My mom still has a gift for my sister and me from Santa :D

Smiling_Sara
11-20-2009, 10:12 PM
There is NOOOOO SANTA??


I was older actually. 4th grade! :o

ETA: I found out cause I was waiting in my parents station wagon and wondered what was a blanket doing in the back, I threw it back and saw wrapped presents that read from Santa. I went in and asked my mom, "sooooo, did santa come to our CAR early?"

Aclai4067
11-20-2009, 10:20 PM
I don't remember our ages, but I found out younger that there is no Santa because my older sister figured it out. We stuck a note up the chimney to see if he replied. Our parents never sat us down and told us. We still get presents "from santa" and our parents joke that if we don't believe we don't get to keep those ones.

One of my friends didn't find out until 8th grade... we still make fun of her for it.

Primm
11-21-2009, 12:27 AM
I'm not sure. I never told them. I remember overhearing a conversation when the eldest who was about 11 was telling his brother (8), "I know too, but don't say anything to mum and dad because then they might stop giving us presents!"

They are now 18 and 16, and we still put their presents into a sack in the middle of the night on Christmas eve. Sad, huh?

Heidi58
11-21-2009, 02:15 PM
I'd be leery of taking the chance that my child would hear 'the truth' on the school bus or playground - I'd much rather have the discussion at home. As an elementary school teacher I've seen some pretty nasty scenarios. :(

This might be a good year for your family to read Chris Van Allsberg's The Polar Express (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Polar_Express). At one time, most of my friends could hear the bell, but as years passed, it fell silent for all of them. Even Sarah found one Christmas that she could no longer hear its sweet sound. Though I've grown old, the bell still rings for me, as it does for all who truly believe.

Even though we all get to the age where we want and need to know the truth - it's nice to have the reassurance that it's OK to keep believing if you want to... :)

branflake
11-22-2009, 01:59 AM
My son is 5 and honestly, I'm not sure he believes in Santa fully. lol Since he was about 3 he's always insisted that the guys in the suits at the mall and in random other places were "strangers in a costume". No matter what we said, he still didn't believe that they were really Santa. So, eventually we stopped pushing it. He also pointed out last year when he was 4 that the gifts from Santa couldn't possibly really be from Santa since they were wrapped in paper that we have in the spare room closet. Oops. Never thought I'd have to hide the wrapping paper. I didn't think he'd ever seen it.

I stopped believing at 4. My parents told me not to look in their bedroom days before Christmas. That is an invitation TO look. So, I snuck a peek. Then on Christmas morning, there was a beautiful handmade dollhouse "from Santa". The same one I had seen being built in their room only days before. I fessed up and they tried to convince me that the Elves needed extra help that year. So, they had been enlisted as "Elf Helpers". I didn't buy it. So the Santa illusion was over....

mtloser
11-22-2009, 06:57 PM
My yougest will be 12 next week and as of last year he still believed in Santa Claus.. however just two nights ago he told us a joke he heard at school about Santa not being real... so I don't know for sure now. I keep asking my husband to find out but he won't ask him..LOL

cathydoe
11-22-2009, 10:45 PM
WHAT! No Santa? Please tell me it ain't so!!

HotWings
11-22-2009, 11:05 PM
I'd be leery of taking the chance that my child would hear 'the truth' on the school bus or playground - I'd much rather have the discussion at home. As an elementary school teacher I've seen some pretty nasty scenarios. :(

This might be a good year for your family to read Chris Van Allsberg's The Polar Express (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Polar_Express).
Even though we all get to the age where we want and need to know the truth - it's nice to have the reassurance that it's OK to keep believing if you want to... :)

Those were my thoughts exactly. I'd rather break it the way I want it done so that he can understand and not be hurt. I used to be an elem. teacher, too - so I know what you mean. And about it being okay to believe - that is how I have been presenting it all along. My son asked me twice last year if Santa was real (that's why I suspect he is pretty skeptical at this point) - both times I said, "If you believe it in your heart." So the idea is.. to tell him that Santa is not a real person, but Santa is that special magical feeling you get inside at Christmas time. We just add to the magic by doing the gifts.

cathydoe: If you believe it in your heart, Santa is REAL!!! :lol:

I am enjoying all these stories!! :yes:

HotWings
11-22-2009, 11:08 PM
branflake: We told ours that the Santa's they see during the holiday season are really just helpers that collect the lists for Santa. I credit DH for that one - he had to think pretty fast on his feet. :lol: They haven't asked one question about them since.

k8t
11-23-2009, 12:30 AM
My oldest started asking me around 8 by asking if I still believed in Santa. I told her I did believe in him, but not in the same way she did. Then I also started hinting that Santa was not exactly as little kids think, because little kids think in terms of black and white, yes and no...however, as we become older we are mature enough to understand the difference between the make believe stories people tell and the "real" parts. I also told her that unfortunately some children hear about it before they are ready to understand, and that is what makes them nonbelievers. I told her we could talk about it more whenever she wanted. At the time, she told me she wanted to wait, and I did until she asked me to explain it a year later. At 9, we talked about Saint Nicholas and the real spirit of Christmas, and how you can see and feel it around you if you look carefully for it. We talked about the displays in the stores, music, etc...and how they were fun,but not really what Christmas was about. We noticed the nice things people did for each other that they unfortunately don't do at other times, and we also did secret things to help "Santa" out too. (An excellent book for this if you can get a copy is "Santa, Are You For Real?" by Harold Myra.) We also hung a stocking up on our fireplace for Jesus when we decorated for Christmas, and took turns at dinner saying what things we did for others that day that we could offer to Jesus as a gift for his birthday. (We wrote those things on slips of paper and added them to the stocking each day.) We still continue to do this each year. This way one Christmas magic and tradition was replaced by another.

Anyway, that's how we handled it. If you ask her today as a freshman in High School, she'll still smile at you and tell you she's a believer.:hohoho:

Thighs Be Gone
11-23-2009, 01:28 AM
We have a family in our class that has never allowed their children to believe in Santa. Well, thats fine except that their kids went around last year and told everyone there was no Santa, no Easter Bunny, no tooth fairy, etc. A friend of mine called their mother and asked that she tell them to stop. The mother replied, "we are all about truth and I am not about to tell my kids to stop telling the truth!" My friend said to her, "well, just to warn you--my 7 year old knows all about sex so don't be surprised with what your kids find out from him!" LOL--I LOVED THAT!

My kids are 6 and 8. I will never, ever tell them. I was told in a horrible fashion--representative of most of my childhood actually. I will allow my children to believe the magic as long as they would like.

k8t
11-23-2009, 08:04 AM
Thighs Be Gone, that's wonderful! LOL

k8t
11-23-2009, 08:06 AM
And I agree, let them keep the magic as long as possible. They'll ask when they want to know. I really think my oldest was just asking for permission to keep believing the first time she asked.

k8t
11-23-2009, 08:06 AM
And for those of you with young children, you have to check out the NORAD santa site on Christmas Eve.

Leenie
11-23-2009, 08:12 AM
My DD is 8 years old and she still believes. She asked me not long ago if there was such a thing as Santa. I said why do you ask? she said because some of the kids in school said there was no such thing. I said "well then, I guess they won't be getting anything from Santa this year will they...... If you don't believe you don't get." She said "Mama, I do believe."

To be continued next year ..............


lol

Leenie
11-23-2009, 08:14 AM
My friend said to her, "well, just to warn you--my 7 year old knows all about sex so don't be surprised with what your kids find out from him!" LOL--I LOVED THAT!

Oh thats a great one bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah !!! :lol3: What fast thinking on her part LOLOL.


.

theCandEs
11-23-2009, 11:20 AM
K8t, it was the NORAD site that got us in trouble last year. The Santa on it looks so fake, my oldest said, "Is that supposed to be the real Santa Claus?" and I told him it was just a computer generation of him, and not the real Santa. I said it was just showing where Santa was right now from outer space. lol

TXJess
11-23-2009, 04:42 PM
We have a family in our class that has never allowed their children to believe in Santa. Well, thats fine except that their kids went around last year and told everyone there was no Santa, no Easter Bunny, no tooth fairy, etc. A friend of mine called their mother and asked that she tell them to stop. The mother replied, "we are all about truth and I am not about to tell my kids to stop telling the truth!" My friend said to her, "well, just to warn you--my 7 year old knows all about sex so don't be surprised with what your kids find out from him!" LOL--I LOVED THAT!

I don't think I'll do the whole Santa thing with my son. We wouldn't really do Christmas at all but if we end up having to do public school I don't want him to be ridiculed for not receiving any gifts.

It is likely that I would explain that some people believe in things different than us and it isn't wrong, it's just their traditions and he shouldn't make fun of what they believe. How well this will work, I don't know but I don't want to be pressured into forcing him to believe something that isn't real as well as a myriad of other reasons.

I was not heart broken when I found out Santa wasn't real (rather young) nor did I flock to Christmas morning like a moth to flame. My son is smart (sometimes too smart :p ) and have a feeling he would find out WAY early on his own.

kuhrisuh
11-23-2009, 05:29 PM
Well, I'm not a mom.. but I remember when I found out Santa wasn't real. After watching Miracle on 34th Street (i think thats what its called?) when I was in like the 2nd grade, I asked my mom if Santa Clause was real and she said "What do you think?" After thinking a bit and deciding I thought he wasn't, my mom told me I was right. I guess deep down I really did still believe that he was real, because I was crushed, haha.

The next year I tried to pretend like I didn't know he was fake.. :rolleyes:

birdtostone
11-27-2009, 01:44 AM
I remember my own Santa experience vividly.
Well, at least the part of it leading up to me finding out that he didn't exist.
There was a girl in my class (either in the 4th or 5th grade) who went out of her way to tell me that Santa Claus wasn't real. We got into a huge arguement over it and I told her my mother would NEVER lie to me about such things, and she had the same view point of her parents, so we basically ended the conversation in fumes.
Well, that Christmas, my sister and I got up sometime in the middle of the night and saw our mom bringing in our new television to put under the christmas tree. The next morning, we confronted her on it.
She finally spilled the beans, and to this day I remember being SO MAD about only one thing after she told me. I was FURIOUS that she had lied to me, and that I had done everything I could to defend her. I didn't care that Santa wasn't real; all I cared about was that she had lied to me all of my life. LOL.

Today, when asked if I believe in Santa, I say yes. I accept Santa as an idea, and if it needs more explaining, I accept Santa as my parents. So in my mind, if Santa doesn't exist, then neither do my parents.

I'm completely undecided of what I will tell my kids, Santa or no. I'm all for magic, imagination, and the spirit of things, but... I was so scarred that she LIED to me.
LOL

KforKitty
11-27-2009, 08:35 AM
I've been wondering whether to have the 'there's no Santa' conversation with my 10 year old (11 in January). When she was 8 she tested the water and said she'd been told by someone at school that Santa wasn't real. I told her that what she believed was up to her and that beliefs belonged to individuals and no one could take those beliefs away from her. She liked that thought and she did believe. This year I'm not so sure.

She didn't write her list for Santa this year (an almost ritualistic event in previous years), until this week after I'd asked her why she hadn't written it. The list she produced is much more realistic this year with only 6 or 7 things on it. She's my youngest and I don't think I can tell her outright that there's no Santa as much for myself as her.

Kitty