20-Somethings - Social Anxieties!




View Full Version : Social Anxieties!


Starrynight
11-19-2009, 08:05 PM
Hi ladies. I was just wondering if anyone else was going through the same thing.
I've been trying to dress better... I love vintage-inspired looks, feminine clothing, patterns.. etc. I am so used to wear jeans.. and I've made *some* progress by wearing it with nicer, more feminine tops and cardigans. I've just recently embraced having a curvy figure (I used to do as much as possible to de-emphasize my chest and hips, esp. coming from a conservative family).
But my big thing is wearing skirts! I really love different combo's skirts, tights & boots - but I'm so not used to doing that. I thought that it was because I'm overweight & once I lost weight, I would just suddenly feel comfortable to dress differently.. but after trying on pieces that really don't' look so bad on me NOW, as I am, I realize that it has more to do with social anxieties.
I feel so overdressed when I wear outfits like that, and I end up over-thinking it and just going with jeans. Has this happened to other people? I have such nice pieces.. but I'm having trouble deciding what is appropriate, and I've lost sight of what is too dressy and what isn't. I see girl wearing dressier clothing to class (then again, I also see girls in sweats and hoodies hah) - and being someone that is quiet in general, I feel like it draws too much attention, and I only JUST started to get over male attention.
I have a boyfriend (5 years in February), so I don't really have an extra motivation to attract attention from other guys, it's just.. On top of that, I'm not someone that really parties, I like going to museums, indie shows, stuff like that - so I rarely feel like dressing up (but at the same time, I want to - if that makes any sense).

I posted a thread previously about this dress I was going to wear to see my BF, but we didn't go anywhere, so I didn't have to deal with any social anxieties with wearing that..

Has anyone else gone through similar situations? Any tips on getting over these anxieties? Am I just being neurotic?


lmvr2004
11-19-2009, 08:24 PM
What I have learned is that life is too short to wait for a special occasion to wear beautiful clothes. Wear them, enjoy how they make you feel. You deserve it!

Newcomer...

InControl2Day
11-19-2009, 08:32 PM
Dressing up makes me feel confident and beautiful. I don't believe in hiding under baggy clothes and looking sloppy. Even at my heaviest, I think I spent MORE time on looking "good" (hair, makeup, different outfits) because my thinner friends can pull of "effortless" beauty...

I don't want to give the impression that just because I'm overweight, I don't care about how I look. I pride in myself that my friends actually ask me for fashion advice. I have a huge pride/ego situation.

You should wear you beautiful pieces especially because you deserve to feel special. :D I understand what you mean about feeling "overdressed" but I'm sure you can make smart decisions. I mean as long as you aren't wearing a ball gown to class...you should be fine !

Your avatar shows that you are really beautiful so flaunt it :hug:


Supernatural
11-19-2009, 10:03 PM
I can understand your insecurities; I'm finding that I really want to lose weight, for health reasons mostly, but I've been this 50 pounds overweight for a long time, and it's what I'm used to. Even changes for the better are hard and it might take time to get used to them (very few people actually enjoy change - we're very much creatures of habit). Could you maybe try one small change at a time, see how it goes, and go from there?

stellarosa27
11-20-2009, 10:47 AM
Dressing up makes me feel confident and beautiful. I don't believe in hiding under baggy clothes and looking sloppy.

This is how I feel. I just think that putting effort into how I look/dress each day makes ME feel better and I could care less what others think.

If you want to dress nicely, dress nicely! I think its better to be overdressed than underdressed, and if you want to wear cute skirts and tights with boots (which I have gotten into and LOVE) go for it!!

Enjoy life :)

Thighs Be Gone
11-20-2009, 10:55 AM
Starrynight, I started a similar thread to this just yesterday. I like dressing nowadays and find it motivating in a variety of ways. If I feel good in something and I feel happy wearing it, I am just going to go for it. For me it's like going into a department store furniture dept. Safe choices? Sure. Choices that stellar, original, flavorful, noticable? NOT. I know which one I want to be. I just need to get over it already.