Living Maintenance - Are You Afaid to Gain Even if its to Maintain?

I have a question for the great maintainers of this board. Are you guys afraid to gain weight even if it’s to go back to your maintenance weight?

I've been "trying" to maintain for 7 years now but I can't seem to stop my weight from slowly going down. I pick a maintenance number and then my weight fluxuates within 2 or 3 pounds of that number but usually it is slowly creeping downwards. I'll finally hit 4 or 5 pounds lower and tell myself I really need to gain back a couple of these pounds. I eat a few hundred calories more but if I see the number go back up, even if its where I want the number to be, I get scared. I'm afraid that the number want stop going up so I cut back and end up losing even more.

On Thursday I weighed myself and I went under the 130lbs mark which I'm scared about because I think that is getting too low because I'm 5'10 and a male. At the same time I'm scared to gain back because I'm scared I won't be able to stop the gains and they will pile on. I've had this problem ever since 145lbs 7 years ago when I said I never wanted to go below that number.

Do any of you have the same fear?

I don't want to sound alarmist - but if you start talking about being too thin and afraid to eat, it might be time to talk to a professional.

I don't want to sound alarmist - but if you start talking about being too thin and afraid to eat, it might be time to talk to a professional.

I think you need to re-read my post. I never said I was afraid to eat and I am still at a healthy weight point but on the low end of the scale. If I lost 10lbs more then I would be at an unhealthy weight.

What I said was I am afraid of gaining back weight and refusing to eat "extra" or mainintain the extra weight that I gain.

No... and just in my opinion, it sounds a little strange for someone of your height to be worried about weighing even 145. I'd suggest you consider getting some counseling from a dietitian or therapist, preferably someone who is certified in eating disorders. It could be that your fear isn't normal.

Good luck, benchmarkman!

Jay

No... and just in my opinion, it sounds a little strange for someone of your height to be worried about weighing even 145. I'd suggest you consider getting some counseling from a dietitian or therapist, preferably someone who is certified in eating disorders. It could be that your fear isn't normal.

Good luck, benchmarkman!

Jay

Again I think you need to re-read my post. I was actually be happy at 145lbs. Its not the number that bothers me its the fact that the number goes UP and I feel I won't be able to stop it from continuing to go up.

Again I think you need to re-read my post. I was actually be happy at 145lbs. Its not the number that bothers me its the fact that the number goes UP and I feel I won't be able to stop it from continuing to go up.

That's what I'm talking about. Find someone professional to talk to about this. That's my suggestion.

Jay

That's what I'm talking about. Find someone professional to talk to about this. That's my suggestion.

Jay

I just wanted to know if you other maintainers had this fear too or not. It was really just a simple question not asking for advice. I already know that I can't and should not lose more weight.

Hi, I know what your saying. I am 5'3 and weigh 107 lbs. If i get down to 103 it is considered underweight for me. i am only four pounds away from being underweight. I have set some guidelines for myself, never go under 106 and never weigh more than 110lbs. If i eat my regular meals( whole natural foods only and I am very active) I lose weight quick and before I know it I'm 106lbs. Then i have to eat alot more to gain again. But then i gain 2 or 3 lbs, so then I have to watch it again, and I'm always afraid i will not be able to lose it again cause I am 41 yrs. old and getting older or I will keep gaining for no reason. So, I decided to go with the flow and just see how low it will go just by eating my normal meals w/ no extra calories. I'm not going to dwell on being afraid of being underweight. I don't think there is a way to stay exactly at the same weight all the time, it would be nice!

I am a nobody here, but I also think you should talk to someone professionally about this. Maybe even a dietician who can help you get back to the weight that you felt happy at (145) but who can also help you not gain more than that AND get over your fear of it all piling back on.

your defensiveness also indicates there may be something that you want to talk to someone about - I am certain that your fear is rational, but it shouldn't stop you from being at a healthy weight. At your height, if you are 130 now you are just on the very low edge of healthy; that means you are bordering on being underweight.

The answers you get here are out of caring and concern. I hope you can see that.

Hi benchmarkman - Yep, you can count me as one of those people who would not be happy putting on a few pounds - even if I came to feel that it would be the right weight for me. I, too, would fear the slippery slope of gaining all my weight back.

That said, I do believe that I could work to overcome that fear if I had a clear and arguably reasonable new target weight. It would take me some effort, because I'd be suspicious of my motives for just nibbling a bit more here and there.

If you're looking for strategies for a mindset for gaining, you might consider a specific addition - say a protein shake before heading out to exercise. Then you'd know that you still controlled the rate of adding weight.

Good luck working through this. I take it that you don't see this as a crisis, just a problem to solve.

Hi Benchmark:
Having been up and down more than I like to admit. I understand your issue.
The issue of maintence is to find a balance. Very tricky. SInce I can easily gain a few pounds in a matter of days, but it takes week of exteme effort to get even 1 or 2 pounds back off I understand. You are aware of an issue that is important to you, so that the first step in finding a solution that works for you. Right now I have a 5 pound flucation rate, when I hit the low end I add some food and the high end I up my exercise. Seems as I get older that high end is around alot more than the low.

100% terrified of it right here. I know the way I USED to be. As I watched the scale climb I became alarmed...then just got into the mindset of "Oh well...I'll do it again later." Even after maintaining a year now, I'm afraid a real rise in the number on the scale will throw me back into that mindset, where I'll fall back into old habits and "do it again later."

I'm nearly 5 ft. 9 in. tall, and my weight fluctuates from 138-143. That's fine with me...

"Go talk to someone...."

That's exactly what he is trying to do. He's trying to talk to us, who should know something about the subject - being afraid to regain the weight we've worked so hard for so long to lose.

My answer is yes, knowing my life-long patterns and habits, I certainly am wary of putting on any weight, even to get back to maintenance. I've edged down from my "ideal" of 104 lbs and this morning hit 100. Either way, up too far or down too far - I am not in control.

I agree that you may need professional help, we aren't professionals. My husband is your same height and at 140, his doctor told him he should try to gain some muscle weight and shouldn't lose anymore (he had been 150 and dropped through no effort of his own). Even if that person is a nutritionist, I think you need to talk to a professional.

Have you considered setting a weight maintenance range? You said that when you lose about 5lbs you start thinking you need to gain, but then once you gain a couple pounds you are afraid the gain won't stop. Suppose your goal weight is 135 (can be whatever you want it to be). You could set a range of 130-140 as your "acceptable" weights. If you get down to 130, it is time to increase your calories. However, even though the scale is going up, it is "allowed" to go up to 140 before you have to start restricting again. You could actively try to stop yourself from restricting as long as your weight is in the allowed range.

I don't know if that would help or not but it is something to think about. You may also want to get checked out by your doctor for hyperthyroidism or other medical problems that can cause weight loss in case you are continuing to lose despite eating at a maintenance level.

Personally I have the opposite problem of my weight continuing to drift up rather than down, so I have never been in a situation where I thought I needed to gain weight.

Have you considered setting a weight maintenance range? You said that when you lose about 5lbs you start thinking you need to gain, but then once you gain a couple pounds you are afraid the gain won't stop. Suppose your goal weight is 135 (can be whatever you want it to be). You could set a range of 130-140 as your "acceptable" weights. If you get down to 130, it is time to increase your calories. However, even though the scale is going up, it is "allowed" to go up to 140 before you have to start restricting again. You could actively try to stop yourself from restricting as long as your weight is in the allowed range.

This is what I've done...my weight fluctuates SO much I'd be constantly in a lose or gain mode if I didn't have a range. If I drop below 138 (which was my lowest weight, when I started really maintaining) I'll look to gain a bit, or get above 145 I'll look to lose...

I have been afraid to gain, even when I knew I was a little low and needed to gain, yes. Early at the first of the year I drifted down to 115 for a brief period of time. I really looked 'too skinny', so I knew I needed to gain a little back. Got back up to 120, but found myself pulled by the fear of weight gain so cut my calories back down drastically, back down to 116. At that time I decided I needed to weight range with a top and a bottom, and I needed to pay as much attention to the bottom as the top. I had to revisit my redlines after some surgery, but I still have that fear of gaining. I have been comfortably in the middle to the top end of my range for a while, so haven't had to deal with that, but I can tell you it was a little scary when I got too low. I could feel myself thinking several different things - "cut another 200 calories per day and I could lose a little more" running in my head in tandem with "have to up calories and gain back, too skinny" with the "no more calories or I'll gain it all back" as the more continuous one. I do remember being physically scared to eat for a little while, because I was convinced I wouldn't be able to control it. It has gotten a lot better now that I've been in the higher end of my range.

I've read some of your other posts about continuing to lose, it sounds like you just haven't found your maintenance range yet. Also scary, the thought of adding the calories back in immediately put me into the scared of potential gain place - I added the calories back in slowly until I felt settled and stopped losing, 50 calories per day the first week I think, another fifty after week 2, etc.

Good luck.

I totally relate with you. I am at a point where people are telling me I lost too much and I agree with them whenever I look at the mirror.
I want to put 5 more pounds on, but I am so afraid it won't stop there.
My plan is going for a vacation the next month and stop worrying about the weight at least for those 2 weeks and when I come back try to stay at 5 more pounds than what I weight now.
As the holidays are here I am actually in peace with those extra pounds because I am planning in getting some back anyway...
But that is exactly where your concern comes in place: I am terrified it won't stop there... but it is about will power and mindset. I have gone to vacation before gained some weight and was able to go back to the "lose weight mode", so that keep me optimistic.
Can't say if my plan will work... but I'll give it a try.
Well, my point here really is to show that you are not alone.
That fear is understandable, since once we didn’t have control over food and we are scared it can happen again...

Have you considered setting a weight maintenance range?
I set a detailed Weight Maintenance Range when I neared my Goal weight, and designed a graphic to make it very Visual. This has been very helpful in helping me maintain, and to make my goals clear to others.