100 lb. Club - Ending "Fat Girl" Thoughts

I noticed something the other day that gave some insight into the impulsive thoughts I have when it comes to food, that I never really noticed before. But now that I've become aware of it, I can see how this thought process has given me ammunition to eat anything I want, whenever I want, however much I want, and hence, lead to weight gain. At least, I think so.

When I arrive to a craving, or I'm in a situation where a, let's say, "not on plan" food enters into the picture, and I decide I want it. I start feeling a sense of urgency arise that I MUST eat it because it's limited in some way. Not even that someone else will get "the last one" although that happens too, but a general sense of, "Oh I never have this so I need to have this now." except there are so many different kinds of bad food out there that you could go on forever with that mentality. And that's what justified me to eating Mac & Cheese at restaurants, "Well, I never get to have it and it's my favorite... I must get it!" But really, if you really look at how many times I order it while eating out, it's a lot more than I'd like for myself to believe when I'm convincing myself to get it.

Now that I realize that I do this, as before it was second nature and I didn't think about it too much, I thought of a new response: "I don't have to get it this time, It's not like I will never be able to have it again." and you know what? So far it seems to be working.

Last weekend I went into Dunkin Donuts with my husband. He loves their coffee and gets it pretty frequently. I already ate my breakfast, and went over my calories the night before. I knew a donut wouldn't be a good choice for me, and I wasn't really hungry. But I wanted one, so I was planning on getting something. However, once I was standing in line I started thinking and I said, "You know, I don't have to get a donut here. It's not like I'll never be able to have one again, I just need to plan for it and make it a special treat." and Poof, I got up to the cashier and just got the coffee for my husband.

Since then, I've been applying that to all sorts of high-calorie foods I used to indulge in on a regular basis, but tricked myself into believe that I didn't.

THAT ASIDE, what other self-sabotaging or deceiving thoughts have you had that you finally realized and put an end to? I'm sure I'm not the only one!

That is great! Good for you :D :hug:

I totally agree with your analysis. I had the problem of all sorts of yummy things showing up at my work place every day...donuts, cheesecakes, muffins...you name it. All things that I dont EVER let into my home but are so tempting at my office for 3 reasons honestly.

1. They are free and most times expensive items that I could not afford to buy...Lie #1...I work hard...I deserve this perk
2. They smell so darn good and look so tasty...Lie #2...The skinny girls are eating them...why can't I...
3. I am bored most times and something yummy breaks up the tedium of my day....Lie #3....the sugar buzz will perk me up and burn itself off in the increased activity that its calories will generate...PLEASE!..

It was a vicious cycle and getting out of hand! So I took a ZERO tolerance policy and designated ANYTHING at work that I did not bring from home as BAD for me. I nick named the donuts "talking snakes" and took a completely different view point on them and their impact on me.

This association has helped me break through the cycle of over indulgence and failure in the face of temptation....

The devil is in the donuts....ha!

Rakel, I had the same realization myself a few months ago. My struggle was the bakery section of the grocery store. Every time I went to the store, I would pick up a box of cookies or some cake or other "treat". Except that they weren't treats; they were almost daily indulgences.

Finally I realized....the carrot cake is ALWAYS there at Safeway. Every time I go, there are stacks of freshly made carrot cakes, just the way I like them. So I do not have to get it this time; it will be there next time I go and I can choose to have it then. There is no shortage of carrot cake or cookies; they will always be there so I don't have to get them every time I see them!

I'm sure this sounds really funny to people who don't have problems with these types of foods, but it really was a epiphany to me that I could simply tell myself, "Maybe next time." As time goes by, the call of the bakery department is fainter and fainter, but I did notice the other day (when I was stressed), that I was really tempted by a box of Halloween mini-cupcakes. I really wanted to buy them. But I reminded myself that this store ALWAYS has the mini-cupcakes and I can buy them in the future if I wish. So I passed them by. It's a victory!

I I thought of a new response: "I don't have to get it this time, It's not like I will never be able to have it again." and you know what? So far it seems to be working.

THAT ASIDE, what other self-sabotaging or deceiving thoughts have you had that you finally realized and put an end to? I'm sure I'm not the only one!

good Q. yes, I'm guilty of it's my favorite, I have to have it thinking.

I have gotten the thought in my head of there's only so much more of X food, I should (or need to) finish it (in a bag/in the pot/in the box/on the table). My new response, there's a huge supply of X in the world, I don't have to worry about getting MORE or that I'll run out (more can be made, if it's a dish; more can be bought, etc.).

I know what you mean. I delay as well. I have also been try9ing to transfer my thoughts of indulgence (mostly) onto other things. I tell myself, "I never watch a double feature so I am going to do that.." and I do. I tell myself, "I never buy the more expensive pillows" so I do. As for foods I am trying to enjoy the sights and smells of them as much I once enjoyed the taste.

I hope something I wrote here makes sense to someone besides me! :)

ETA: Also, I really enjoy preparing foods and knowing all I can about foods. Now, instead of my Paula Dean creations I create gorgeous whole foods recipes as a way of indulging the FOODIE in me.

TBG, it makes perfect sense to me. It is OK (more than OK!) to indulge oneself sometimes. We do work hard and it's really OK. We just need to remember that there are lots of ways to indulge and pamper ourselves that don't involve unhealthy foods.

I love watching Paula Dean cook. I love the way she uses butter and cream and sugar with wild abandon. But when I watch her, I think of a spoof I saw once on a TV show, where someone was pretending to be Paula and for desert, she served a stick of butter sandwiched between two glazed donuts! It was all done in a teasing (not mean) spirit and was very funny, but it served to remind me that it's fun to watch those shows but probably not a good idea to use her recipes too frequently! :)

TBG, it makes perfect sense to me. It is OK (more than OK!) to indulge oneself sometimes. We do work hard and it's really OK. We just need to remember that there are lots of ways to indulge and pamper ourselves that don't involve unhealthy foods.

I love watching Paula Dean cook. I love the way she uses butter and cream and sugar with wild abandon. But when I watch her, I think of a spoof I saw once on a TV show, where someone was pretending to be Paula and for desert, she served a stick of butter sandwiched between two glazed donuts! It was all done in a teasing (not mean) spirit and was very funny, but it served to remind me that it's fun to watch those shows but probably not a good idea to use her recipes too frequently! :)

Exactly, that's why I tell myself that I can have it again, I just have to plan for it. It's okay when it's on my plan and in moderation, but it's not okay to eat impulsively, because that's what leads me to trouble. Chocolate, cookies, cake and ice cream are fine in their place, which is NOT every day, multiple times a day.

And actually, I never really cared for donuts that much, it was just something I ate because it was there. I mean, they are GOOD but when I'm budgeting my calories, I realize that there are plenty of things I'd rather eat for 200 - 400 calories than a sugary pastry.

Rakel, I think it's wonderful that you were able to step back and observe your own throughts and see how they were harming you and devising a means to change them. That is a huge insight. And of course this technique can apply to any thoughts that we have that harm us. Some people, their whole lives, never realize how they are contributing to their own downfall.

Rakel, I think it's wonderful that you were able to step back and observe your own throughts and see how they were harming you and devising a means to change them. That is a huge insight. And of course this technique can apply to any thoughts that we have that harm us. Some people, their whole lives, never realize how they are contributing to their own downfall.

Absolutely, and I realize now this is the sort of thing that made the difference between maintaining my previous 40lb loss, and gaining it back... which unfortunately, I had to gain it all back in order to learn my lesson.

This is exactly how I feel too! I need to start thinking the way you are thinking especially around the holidays! Mom's awesome pumpkin pie will be there next year for Thanksgiving...I just have to repeat that as my mantra this month.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I feel a lot better about the holidays now!

This is exactly how I feel too! I need to start thinking the way you are thinking especially around the holidays! Mom's awesome pumpkin pie will be there next year for Thanksgiving...I just have to repeat that as my mantra this month.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I feel a lot better about the holidays now!

You're welcome! :)

You know... I've had some reservations about starting again right before the holidays. I was thinking that I may be setting myself up for failure... but then I thought, if I can lose weight now, then I can do it ANY time because I am never more tempted with sweets and overeating then at this time, when everyone is focused on food. It's the perfect time really. And REALLY, there isn't anything that you eat during the holidays that you couldn't make for yourself any other time of the year.

Yes. Exactly. There is no shortage of these foods in the world. Not now or anytime soon. Right now, while in a weight loss journey, ESPECIALLY in the early, grab control stages, there's just no place for em'. At a later time. Down the road. In a different setting. But now, your job, your mission is to shed those pounds and there's just no room for that kind of stuff. You're learning new and healthy habits. You don't have to have something just because you see it and just because you want it. That is no longer relevant. You require more from yourself. You are raising your standards. You want to become that health minded person who just doesn't eat anything at old time. And you are apparently well on the way. :)

PLAN for them. Yes, this is such a key component of a successful journey.

Eating what I WANT at the time, instead of what I PLANNED to eat, leads down the path to weight gain for me.

I have very few foods I no longer eat, but I have a lot of foods that I eat very rarely. And when i do, they are always part of my plan.

:congrat: on finding an important key for success on YOUR journey :)

I use that strategy a lot too. "This is not the last time I will be able to have this." Especially when I just want something for the taste, but I'm not hungry, or I'm bored or something.

Yes, exactly. I often tell myself, DC, you've had this before, you know what it tastes like (and generally it ain't that good), and you don't need it right now. If you decide you REALLY NEED it, come back later and get it. And you know, I haven't gone back to get something later, yet. :)

That is great that you found a way to get past that. I play the same mental games wiht myself and they usually involve some sort of donuts or maybe chocolate.

I noticed something the other day that gave some insight into the impulsive thoughts I have when it comes to food, that I never really noticed before. But now that I've become aware of it, I can see how this thought process has given me ammunition to eat anything I want, whenever I want, however much I want, and hence, lead to weight gain. At least, I think so.
THAT ASIDE, what other self-sabotaging or deceiving thoughts have you had that you finally realized and put an end to? I'm sure I'm not the only one!

Rakel, this is so interesting, as I know that in the past that was a HUGE ONE for me. I think in my case it might have started originally because my mom used to try to restrict my foods and put stuff off limits so I always felt like I had to grab something if it was there. I now regularly employ the strategy of thinking-- not now, but I could always have some later. It really does help.

Another self-sabotaging thing for me is convincing myself that certain foods didn't really count. I went to a nutritionist once and she was asking me about meals and snacks, and I had no idea of what constituted a snack... I ate meals, and I ate almost constantly in between.

A cookie standing up in the kitchen, a handful of chips, one bite of leftovers standing in front of the fridge, none of that "counted".

For me, it works a lot better when I don't eat unless I'm eating. Now, everything counts.

I remembered your post today when the BF and I went to Mimi's Cafe, where they have awesome carrot bread before the meal..I told myself that Mimi's Cafe has served carrot bread for 9 years here and will continue to do so, I can get it next time.

THANK YOU!

Wow this post and its timing couldn't of been better here. Last night I went to Walgreens to get some smokes (ok, another vice) and lo and behold the damn Christmas candy was calling my name. I just love the Brachs Chewy Peppermint candies with the little trees on them. I could smell them and the chocolate covered cherries. As I was reaching for them I realized that this is what started me on the path of weight gain the last time and I pulled my hand back. Now the trick is gonna be to get through the next 2 months without letting my hand overrule my mind! Once I start with the candy, I tend to eat the whole bag and then hide the evidence.....like nobody can tell, LOL

Wow this post and its timing couldn't of been better here. Last night I went to Walgreens to get some smokes (ok, another vice) and lo and behold the damn Christmas candy was calling my name. I just love the Brachs Chewy Peppermint candies with the little trees on them. I could smell them and the chocolate covered cherries.

I had the same reaction to the chocolate covered cherries at Walgreen. Remember, though--they'll have them there next year, too, so you can buy them then if you change your mind!

I totally agree with TBG. I treat myself all the time, it's just that it used to be food, but now it's clothes or getting my eyebrows done or a book or a dvd. And it really works to stop the "but I deserve this" thought process.

Another thought process I employ is "I don't need to finish this". I realised that the first maybe three bites taste the best, and from then on it's just eating to satisfy hunger. Eating past when I'm full is just a form of punishing myself. It also helps to tell myself when eating out "This meal was designed to fill up a 20 year old rugby player. I don't need that much food". Yesterday I did finish a salad!

Congratulations on recognising and addressing your thought processes! I truly believe it's about 90% of the battle.

You're absouletly right...like right now I am sitting here at my work desk although I am not hungry because I just eat a few minutes ago...i keep telling my self to go eat the sushi I have in the refrigerator because you start your diet tomorrow and that way it will be gone by them and that temptation will be no longer lingering in the fridge but I am NOT HUNGRY!!! I am just convincing myself to eat...and thanks to this post instead of doing that I am typing what I feel....THANKS!!! I think I will just share my sushi with my coworker...maybe they will enjoy it... :)

I totally agree with TBG. I treat myself all the time, it's just that it used to be food, but now it's clothes or getting my eyebrows done or a book or a dvd. And it really works to stop the "but I deserve this" thought process.

Another thought process I employ is "I don't need to finish this". I realised that the first maybe three bites taste the best, and from then on it's just eating to satisfy hunger. Eating past when I'm full is just a form of punishing myself. It also helps to tell myself when eating out "This meal was designed to fill up a 20 year old rugby player. I don't need that much food". Yesterday I did finish a salad!

Congratulations on recognising and addressing your thought processes! I truly believe it's about 90% of the battle.

Today is my "diet break" day where I plan to have some chocolate or some kind of "treat" but I still don't go over my calories... So for lunch I was having some lo mein with some chicken, and I had two egg rolls on my plate. They were only 130 calories each, so I could have eaten both of them, but after I ate one, and still had some other food on my plate I decided I wasn't hungry enough to eat it, even though I could and it was in my plan for the day. I gave it to hubby instead since he didn't warm his up yet. So that was kind of a victory for me because I know sometimes I'll eat just because I have the calories left, and not necesarily whether I'm hungry or not. I know that will be a key component in the long term for maintaining once I have my new wonderful body :)

I wanted to add that I also am like TBG. I used to constantly reward myself with food, while simultaneously depriving me of ALMOST EVERYTHING else. I RARELY spent money on myself for anything-- my kids walk around all in style while I was the frump queen. I didn't go to the salon until my roots were all grown out, I didn't buy myself anything that I wanted-- except food-- and then it was a free for all.

Now, I'm learning about a lot of other ways to reward myself. I find my mind turning towards other things I can do that make me feel good about myself.

It's crazy too, because I've always earned more than my DH, but that put yourself last mentality is so ingrained in me that I didn't even think it was true.

I'm saving up some money (in cold hard cash and gift cards) to stores like Avenue and Lane Bryant so as I lose I can buy some new clothes. So far I almost have $200, so I'm just going to keep adding to that when I can... having nice clothes to wear is definitely something I can reward myself with, and I know I will be excited about buying clothing in smaller sizes!

I can tell you're going to be a success, rakel. What you've said about telling yourself that you can have X another time -- that has been a big part of it for me. One of the biggest mindset issues that I actively changed.

And it's not even about having that slice of pie on next year's holiday, either; last year during the holidays I was a lot cooler about stuff by telling myself that hey, that's my mom's apple pie that I love, sure, but that's also the recipe I have and make twice a year as well. So I told myself I can make it whenever I want, when I will have room for it and I didn't just have a wheat roll and a glass of red wine with my dinner!

Worked, and I did do that with that apple pie after last Christmas (then had to be a-okay with throwing the last slice out after 3 days in the fridge, even though normally it would've been eaten).

Impromptu treat out offered? Yeah, but it's not an excuse to deviate from the plan because that restaurant's been 10 minutes from my house for 5 years now -- I can go whenever I want, and try the X appetizer!

Having appropriate sizes of meat and wine, too ... cutting and freezing my chicken breasts into 4 oz sizes, or indulging in buying the thin cuts even though they are not a $$ value. Using smaller wine glasses so that I have 3 oz portions that look and feel copious, because of course I cannot allot 5-6 oz as often as I'd like.

As a frugal and uh, not-flush person it was an adjustment, but I'm very pleased with it. I'm talking about being comfortable with things not being a monetary value. For me a lot of things over the past 14 months have not been a monetary value. But all you need is what you need, and I became comfortable with that. I saw someone on 3fc reference this as basically being a health value -- like a long-term investment. I like that.

I really feel like this is the turning point from me. I feel like... something in my mind has clicked and I can finally do this. Maybe I have just matured. Sometimes I forget I'm only 24.

Once I start with the candy, I tend to eat the whole bag and then hide the evidence.....like nobody can tell, LOL

No intention to pick on you, Tami (I have been known to do this too) but I misread that as "eat the whole bag and then eat the evidence" :dizzy:

Rakel, great insight and very good thread. Thank you.