Pregnant - Nursing - Not Pregnant or Nursing...but thought y'all would know...

Okay, so I'm not preg or nursing, but contemplating marriage and childbirth fairly soon...just wanted to ask your group since it seems you would have recent knowledge...

How hard is it to give birth at home or in an alternative setting?

See, my boyfriend's brother and wife just had their first and I was horrified by their experience. She's only 22 and scared, so I'm sure she was not as assertive as my stubbornness would be but still... She was only 6 days overdue with no complications whatsoever and was talked into going in to be induced. Then labor progresses too slowly for the drs and they're about to change shifts so...increased her inducement drugs. Then after drugging her to get the poor kid out, they force her into a c-section since the baby's heartrate drops when she starts pushing. Yikes!!

What the heck happened to childbirth being a natural event that takes as long as it takes as long as the baby is healthy?

I have no intention of checking into a hospital to be induced nor will I be pushed into a c-section because its taking too long.

Have any of you ladies had successful birth experiences in other than hospital settings? I just cannot see forcing myself my baby and my body to agree to other peoples idea of birth.

I haven't given birth at home but my mother did ......to me! She did have a doctor present, however.She went on to have two more children, both born in hospitals. And my bosses wife had three children, and never made it to the delivery room, my boss delievered one at home, one was born in the car on the way to the hospital and one was born in the elevator in the hospital. Of course these were not planned that way.

I'm not quite sure what you mean by "hard". You can give birth about any way you like, I think. You just need to find a practitioner that will accommodate your wishes.

I know a lot of young mothers who later said they felt somewhat robbed out of vaginal birth by doctors on a tight schedule. I think the most important thing any expecting mother can do is find a caregiver- whether it be a midwife, obgyn, whatever- who understands explicitly what her birthing intentions are.

Things don't always go as planned (****, Bargoo!!), but I want my doctor or midwife to understand how I want my child to enter this world and to act appropriately.

BTW, I'm not pregnant (yet), just in the throes of TTC :)

I had both my boys at a freestanding birth center, no drugs, both born without complication. I loved both my birth experiences, the first was 16 hours, the second only 5 and he was 9 lbs. I think birth is a very personal choice - I'm very stubborn also, I don't want people making decisions for me, pressuring me into unwanted intervention so I decided to go somewhere in line with my ideals. www.thebirthcenter.org is where I went, I must say I feel very fortunate that there is a place like this near me because most people don't have access to non-hospital settings.

That said I do feel that intervention has it's place, but I feel that far too often it's used without merit or reason. Every single one of my friends has had an episiotomy - the midwife who delivered my baby had done two in her whole career and only because it was imperative to delivery the baby immediately.

Also, if you are really interested in natural childbirth there are a ton of boards (babyfit etc) dedicated to the topic. But most women will agree that how you experience childbirth (outside of extraordinary circumstances or complications) is how you approach it - if you're fearful and unsure most likely your experience won't be the best; if you're willing to surrender to what's happening to you body and go into it positively with an open mind you'll do just fine. Hope this helps, just do your research, and do what feels right for you.

As long as you know what you want and what is safest for the baby is what really counts.

I had every intention of having a drug free birth (but still at the hospital). My OB told me she would not do a C-section unless medically necessary. I was fine with all of this and we both seemed on the same page. But it did not go as planned. My water broke at home 2 months early. I went to the hospital and an array of drugs were injected into me and my IV. Labor was stopped so antibiotics and steroids could be pumped into my system so the baby's lungs could develop. Then more drugs to start labor back up. My OB was not there and I ended up having a strange doctor I had never met along with 10 other doctors and nurses in my room. I did end up giving birth vaginally, but was torn on the way out and it would not stop bleeding. I passed out. My son was not breathing when he was born.

I am so lucky to have been in a hospital. I am so thankful that I live in an area where there is a NICU. I truly believe that it saved mine and my son's life.
Birthing is a very personal choice, if you want and can , by all means have the baby where you feel the safest. Just at least have a back up plan or have people around you that are prepared to help if things go horribly wrong. And do not feel horrible if your birthing plan doesn't go, well... as planned. Everyone just wants the same outcome, and that's a healthy baby.

As long as you can find a Dr or a midwife that will assist you, you can have a home birth if you would like. There are a lot of reasons why I doctor might choose to induce a woman even when it might not seem important (placenta decay, if the water has broken there is a risk of infection, etc) It really just depends on the doctor/midwife you choose... for instance my OB was really into relaxation decending. I did have an epidural because I'm a weakling but I was able to just relax and let my daughter decend through the birth canal on her own and let my body do most of the work naturally and therefore meant less pushing for me... Some women push for hours.. me on the other hand it wasn't even 5 min for an 8lbs 8oz 21.5 inches long baby. When the heart rate of the baby was dropping whenever she was pushing thats a sign of distress and it was probably safest to get the baby out ASAP and not risk it any longer. I was able to lightly labor through the night at home and then went to the hosptial even though a majority of my labor was at home..

Really it all depends on who you chose as your provider... but remember no 2 births are alike and even though you may plan your birth to go a certain way it might not and the medical providers are there to ensure the safety of your baby, at home or in a hospital.

I had my first son in a hospital and i'm *terrified* to do that at all again.I'm going to a freestanding birth center unless something comes up and I can't get there. I think there are some states that have a lot of laws regarding midwives and homebirth but I know some mamas are able to find midwives who will do it anyways. I suggest looking up midwives in your area if you're interested in finding out more, many will meet with you and talk with you before you're even pg.

We're going to this birthing center www.lakesidebirthcenter.com and I have to say I absolutely adore my midwife, and love the fact that her son has a naturopathic clinic above her office

I understand your wishes to do it at home or at a birthing center, but never say never.

I was never going to be induced, as it turns out my options were be induced or lose the baby. I certainly wasn't going to let my son die on principle.

You hope for the very best and plan for the very worst. Plan for a home or center birth, but remain open to the fact that babies rarely do what they should. Plan for the best case, but understand that that's not always how it happens. :)

I'm studying to become a midwife (sort of, i'm working on my nursing degree first, but that's the major plan right now!)

I would say, if there is no complications with your pregnancy, go for the home birth...I've heard many horror stories from both sides. It really depends on your midwife. I've told some people about my plans, and they instantly start talking in a fury about what happened to their sister/cousin/friend on how the midwife did this terrible job, yadda yadda yadda.

HOPEFULLY, you pick JUST the right midwife for you, who is experienced. Whatever feels more comfortable to you.

For me, I feel (even though I want to become a home/home clinic midwife) I would rather go to a hospital to have my baby (i'm not pregnant, yet, mind you) I think if you want a home birth, you would rather prefer doing everything natural, and have the sense of being comfortable in your own home. On the other hand, Ifeel quite comfortable in hospitals, and I just KNOW that i'm going to need a epidural (I don't trust myself :rolleyes:) :shrug:

My second son was born on Christmas. i went in at 7pm on the 24th and the Dr. insisted I needed an iv, I asked point blank was it because my labor was not going well or because she wanted to go home to her family. She said see you in a few hours.

my first son was born durring a blizzard, with tons of pitocen (sp) and a long 24 hours of labor and no epi. I had a terrible nurse so my husband went and told the dr. she sent her to lunch and I never saw her again.

keep in mind that every birth is different, first birth is usually longer and harder because the body has not done this before. and the best laid plans don't always go the way you want. my advice, when you do get pregnant is come up with your plan and talk through all the senreios so you know what you want before it happens, that way ALL the plans are yours but you know if something arrises you have your answer. and your partner(s) coaches should know the full plan too so if need be they can advicate for you.

as for your future SIL, it may have been that she did not think through her plan well enough and the medical group decided for her. I don't know that answer, but I will say that c sections are not really the first choice and it was mostlikely done for the health of the baby and mother.

I just had a baby at home in July. We chose to do an unassisted birth, so our baby girl was welcomed into the world in the peaceful presence of only her mom and dad. Having had two hospital births previously, it was a very different experience on many levels.

My advice if you're looking into doing some sort of alternate birth is to develop a strong support network, whether it's in person or through an online community. Having places to find support, ask questions, and hear normal birth stories was enormously helpful to me.

I had my first in a hospital and then my next two at home. One hospital birth was more than enough for me. I'm planning my 3rd homebirth with this babe.

I delivered my son in a hospital and did not have a traumatic experience. Everything went as smooth as possible.

I was induced but my son was two weeks past his due date and they were worried about (as an above poster stated) placenta decay. However, my doctor was very clear on why we should induce as well as all other decisions. It was not just shoved at me in a "Do this now" kind of way.

The important thing is communication - I informed my doctor of my wishes and he agreed unless it came down to the health of me or my son. Had he been resistant I probably would have found another doctor.

We're just about to try to conceive our second and will probably choose a hospital birth again; I personally worry too much not to be near pediatric specialists if the worst happens.

Good luck with all the hard decisions!

Congrautlations on researching your options ahead of time!

I had a midwife throughout my pregnancy and it was wonderful. She actually caught a near-fatal complication that my OB missed, and I ended up with an emergency c-section. It could have been so much worse. I will absolutely use a midwife again.

Read the book, "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth". Also read "Misconceptions" and watch the documentary "Birth in America". All of these are great for explaining the state of birth today and showing what options you could have. Also lurk around on the discussion boards on Mothering.com, where many of the moms choose to give birth at home. You'll read lots of empowering stories about women who research their options and do what's best for their situation.

Another good book is Ina May's Guide to Childbirth

My first 3 were hospital births. The first two were I guess okay, all went according to plan. My third was a disaster. The OB I had advised a birth plan, when I put it together I asked if I could refuse induction, she said no. I was shocked then asked if I came in active labor and ready to push would they still give me pitocin, she again said yes with "Pitocin is standard, doesn't matter when in your labor you come in, we automatically give it to you."
I had planned an unassisted childbirth from then on but when I went into labor I labored as long as I could before giving into going into a near by hospital. It wasn't the same hospital but the same group, so they had my records. I had my daughter in an hour with no meds. I did ask her right after the baby was born that I wanted to wait till the cord stopped pulsating to cut it. She agreed but then to my shock she decided to milk the cord, a practice shunned by many in the medical community. My baby was screaming for hours after that.
with my 4th, I chose to have him at a freestanding birth center, It was the most amazing experience, yes my labor was longer then my previous ones but still the care I received from my midwife was amazing. she knew exactly what to do and say to help me get through. She asked while I was pregnant what my dream L & D was and I told her a candle lit room with 80's music playing and a waterbirth. When I went into labor, she got on the ball and started lighting candle and started my 80's compilation from my Ipod. I had my waterbirth. It was so perfect. Oh he came out while "Love shack" was playing. LOL
I'm planning another freestanding birth center birth with this baby as well.

Do lots of research, read Ina Mays books. Be prepared on how to deal with pain. Don't do lamaze it just sets you up for failure IMO. Counter pressure is the key. Its easy to say "natural Childbirth" but you have to be mentally prepared. I've seen many Birth shows where they have (hospital) midwifes and they're sometime no different from doctors who are just interested in catching the baby. But even then I've had a couple friends deliver by a midwife in a hospital (same group I had when I had #3, Kaiser) and they had a good experience.
When you do get pregnant, Ask lots of questions on what they do to relieve pain when its natural....no meds. And what's their transfer rate as well.

I've seen many Birth shows where they have (hospital) midwifes and they're sometime no different from doctors who are just interested in catching the baby.
That was true about my experience with the CNM who attended my oldest child's birth in a hospital. She was definitely a "medwife" as some call them.

Chiming in -- I had my daughter at home without incident -- labor (well, hard labor) was only around 5 hours, pushed for 20 minutes, mama and baby are fine (she is 4 now)....and I was obese at the time (over 300 lbs).

Our bodies were designed to do this, after all (not to negate the emergencies that do come up) -- but in cases of low risk women, birthing at home is as safe as delivering in a hospital according to the British Journal Of Medicine and loads of other research.

My 3rd was a birth center birth, I highly recommend it. Hospitals are big nasty germ factories!

A great documentary to watch is "The Business of Being Born"

OP - I know you may not think they did the right thing by having her have a C section...but please know that a baby's heartrate dropping can be an extremely serious emergency.

I have 2 children, who are both healthy. However, when my first daughter dropped into the birth canal, her heart rate dropped...they repositioned me, which helped at first, but the heartrate kept dropping. It turned out that when she moved (not due to any medical intervention...just a cruelty of nature sometimes)...the umbilical cord slipped around her neck. She was already too far down for a c-section...so the dr. basically had to reach up and cut the cord from around her neck before she was even out. I thank God that we were in a hospital, where the problem was detected immediately, and handled so quickly and effectively that my daughter is absolutely perfect!!

I completely respect those of you who do your research and choose to have alternative births. I just urge you to make sure that whatever method you choose provides for close monitoring of fetal condition. It's great for the mother to be happy and comfortable...but getting that baby out healthy far outweights ANY amount of discomfort. The thing is, you just don't know if an emergency is going to happen until it just does. With me, there was no way to know that the cord would wrap like that. I don't mean to scare anyone, and I have no idea what the odds are of this happening...I'd have to guess fairly slim. But you just don't want to take unnecessary risk with something so precious!!