100 lb. Club - The Question!




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Elladorine
10-28-2009, 06:11 PM
I've definitely heard about it happening to many, but last week was the very first time it happened to me; someone actually asked when I'd had the weight loss surgery. After saying that I hadn't, they wanted to know if I was on phentermine, which diet center I go to, etc.

Is it so hard to believe you can get results from being aware of your calories, watching your portions, and focusing on healthy food? Makes me wonder what kind of reactions I'll get once I reach my goal. ;)


mandalinn82
10-28-2009, 06:15 PM
LOL, yes, the question.

They always look so disappointed when you say you're just watching what you eat and exercising - like you've let them down! It's so crazy!

:bravo: on having lost enough to get the question!

Lyn2007
10-28-2009, 07:21 PM
Oh I got some odd questions too when I was down in the 2-teens last summer. And they really don't like it when you say you're just eating less and moving more. They always look insulted. Or like you are hiding your secret!


FitGirlyGirl
10-28-2009, 07:38 PM
Yes, I love it when they look at me as if I'm hiding some secret from them. If I did have a secret I would certainly tell them in order to help them be healthy. I haven't gotten the surgery question since my loss had been pretty slow due to my giving up for about 3 months, but I am starting to get questions about strange pills and things since it has sped up.

Onederchic
10-28-2009, 07:47 PM
Hehe :D :hug:

FitGirlyGirl
10-28-2009, 07:51 PM
I got so annoyed with THOSE people that I forgot to say congrats Sirenity on losing enough to get the question.

TJFitnessDiva
10-28-2009, 09:09 PM
lol yeah the first time I had that asked and the seriously bummed/skeptical look they gave me was a little bit funny and annoying!

Once one asks get ready for more of the same ;)

aphrodite
10-28-2009, 11:03 PM
"The ELF diet - Eat Less Food"

rockinrobin
10-29-2009, 12:47 AM
I had somebody actually "test" me last week. An acquaintance of mine, we were at a mutual friends party. She started telling me about her "friend" who needs to lose weight and how the friend was thinking about WLS. And then she kept saying to me that she should maybe have her friend call me and I could talk to her. Because maybe the friend would want to do it my way. I was a little slow that night and finally realized she was trying to get me to confirm that I had weight loss surgery. It was weird. When I finally figured it out, I was a little annoyed with what she was trying to accomplish. It was even odder that one of my dearest friends was with me, who knew exactly how I got the weight off. She was also taken aback. But in the end it came out that I overhauled my eating habits. I really didn't want to play into her hands. I should have left her hanging and wondering. Whatever. The "friend" has yet to call me.

There's nothing wrong with WLS if that's what you choose to do. But I do wish more people would realize that they too CAN lose the weight sans surgery. There ARE other options. It IS possible to have horrendous eating habits (that would have been ME) and get rid of them by totally and completely overhauling your lifestyle. By DECIDING to lose the weight. It doesn't take some miracle. We're ALL capable of it. We've all got the ability. It bears repeating, because I for one didn't always know it - WE'VE ALL GOT THE ABILITY. Each and every one of us.

srr728
10-29-2009, 12:51 AM
People just love drama and dirt. Id lift up my shirt and have them look for scars ;) congrats on your loss girl!

Meg
10-29-2009, 02:55 AM
You're lucky that you get asked "the question". People just assume that I had surgery without even asking. Even doctors!

Suezeeque
10-29-2009, 05:05 AM
When I lost 130 lbs mucho years ago, there was no WLS available so people would come up to me and ask if they could talk to me. Then they would pull me aside and ask me how I lost the weight, as if there was some magic diet. A few people treated me like the messiah. I really believed in Overeaters Anonymous then and would refer them. Since, I've moved on, but for some people it's a real miracle.

Now, the various surgeries have been advertised all over TV, the IRS has recognized it as a deductible medical expense, Blue Cross pays for it, and AMA says it is the only medically approved (aside from diet, etc.) weight loss treatment. And the program Big Medicine has really promoted surgery as the ONLY way to lose weight permanently. I might agree with them if I don't keep it off this time; but I'm not ready to accept that yet. Starting at 9years old when my mom had me on a diet, I've loss and regained probably hundreds of pounds. My reasons now are different (health) so maybe I'll finally be able to change for good.

The bottom line is that the industry has managed to convince people that surgery is the answer. Doctors don't see long term success so I guess you can't blame them. but, if you read the stats on the by-pass, they are not good in the long term. When I was in Georgia at a weight loss spa, I met a woman who weighed 400 lb and had had a by-pass 7 years prior. She used to reguritate her food if she ate too much at once. Gross. But, she had obviously learned how to circumvent her surgery. that was enough to convince me, plus a little reading, that it's not the answer.

Until medical science has a better option this seems like the only answer for a lot of people. My son's fiance had the lap band and after two years is still losing weight gradually. She's lost 60lbs and kept it off. We'll see.

Rainbow
10-29-2009, 06:18 AM
No one's asked me that yet - but I was going to the toilet a lot at my parents' hous e(due to trying to drink a lot of water) and my mum asked me if I was taking a tablet :o I later realised she thought I was taking slimming pills :o I had one person thinking I'm terminaly ill because I've lost so much weight too and a lot of the other mums at teh school gates have been giving my strange looks so I guess they're thinking I've lost weight some other way than exercise and calorie counting :?:

Most people just ask how I've done it hoping for some miracle cure for their extra pounds - when they ask how I've doen it they're OK when I say calorie counting but don't look so impressed when I tell them I've been doing an exercise dvd 5 or 6 times a week :D Guess they don't want to hear they have to exercise :D

Well done on losing so much :) 100lb :) :) :) COngratulations :)

annie175
10-29-2009, 07:52 AM
It's called public assumption.

rockinrobin
10-29-2009, 07:56 AM
You're lucky that you get asked "the question". People just assume that I had surgery without even asking. Even doctors!

I have had numerous, numerous people just "assume" it. They launch right into and speak to me as if I've had it. Eating healthy and exercising doesn't even CROSS their minds. Not for a second.

I had one person thinking I'm terminaly ill because I've lost so much weight too :
)

Yup. I've had this happen to me many times as well. First they tell me how great I look and then they go on to say in a hushed tone, "everything's okay though, right? you're feeling good? nothing's wrong with you, right?" "Actually, I've never been better. Feeling FABULOUS!!!." I'm indeed the picture of health and I've got the doctors' visits, the energy and everything else to prove it. :D

When seeing someone who's lost a large amount of weight, surgery and terminal illness comes to mind for many (most?) BEFORE eating well and exercise. No wonder more then 1/2 the country is overweight or obese. :dizzy:

Heather
10-29-2009, 08:05 AM
I have had one person ask if I was sick... she assumed that was why I lost weight...

nelie
10-29-2009, 11:11 AM
Even when I lost 75 lbs in 3 months, no one ever asked me if I had weight loss surgery. No one has yet. I'm not sure why I either don't give off that vibe or they just think it without saying it.

I do get the question of 'so how'd you do it!?' and I say 'eating better and exercising more'

I got a new gyn doc and during our exam, she was asking me about my weight loss because I do have signs of weight loss without clothes, it was kind of amusing and I didn't even feel embarrassed.

JulieJ08
10-29-2009, 12:00 PM
And then she kept saying to me that she should maybe have her friend call me and I could talk to her. Because maybe the friend would want to do it my way.

LOL, if you had realized, you could have just said, "Yes! It would be great for her to do it my way!"

ubergirl
10-29-2009, 12:44 PM
There's nothing wrong with WLS if that's what you choose to do. But I do wish more people would realize that they too CAN lose the weight sans surgery. There ARE other options. It IS possible to have horrendous eating habits (that would have been ME) and get rid of them by totally and completely overhauling your lifestyle. By DECIDING to lose the weight. It doesn't take some miracle. We're ALL capable of it. We've all got the ability. It bears repeating, because I for one didn't always know it - WE'VE ALL GOT THE ABILITY. Each and every one of us.

Yes, yes, and yes!

Absolutely. I believe that as an obese person and as a health care provider.

I mean, I have dealt with people who probably could never lose weight on their own-- they don't have the emotional skills, financial resources, nutritional understanding, or motivation to be able to do it. A person who is super morbidly obese and has lost mobility, for example, is a hard one because they aren't able to exercise.

But, I think one of the biggest obstacles to losing weight the traditional way is the pervasive belief out there, both among patients and people in the health care field, that it's IMPOSSIBLE to lose weight, especially if you are already morbidly obese.

But when you think about it, who knows how accurate all of those depressing figures about diets not working really are.

There are many more obese people now than even ten years ago. There is a better understanding of how to approach weight loss in heavier people. There is a bigger emphasis on obesity being the preventable cause of health problems.

They used to think that quitting smoking was so hard that few people could "kick the habit".... now, people quit all the time. It's still hard, but it's considered doable. Many people know someone who has done it successfully. I still remember the days where it was assumed that few smokers would actually succeed in quitting.

WLS is a big money maker and so there are plenty of advertising dollars behind it. Nobody makes money when people lose weight from diet and exercise, so no wonder the word doesn't get out as easily.

But, for those of you who have reached goal, every person you tell will tell someone else, and there may be a ripple effect that is more powerful than you know.

Healthy people who can exercise and change their eating habits should feel that that is a viable option.

It was only a year ago that my own doctor told me that I could never lose weight without WLS. Obviously doctors don't know everything.

nelie
10-29-2009, 12:47 PM
It was only a year ago that my own doctor told me that I could never lose weight without WLS. Obviously doctors don't know everything.

That is strange. I know others here have said their doctors recommended weight loss surgery for them. I was over 300 lbs for 15 years and not once did any doctor tell me I should have surgery.

rockinrobin
10-29-2009, 01:03 PM
I was headed towards surgery. Told my doctor that I wanted to try it on my own. She came right out and said to me that it would be downright impossible to lose all the weight that I needed to without it.

When our own doctors are telling us this, no wonder people think they can't do it without it.

Which is why it is vital to NOT leave major decisions up to our doctors. We've got to be responsible for our own medical care. A doctors advice is one thing, but we still know ourselves BEST.

I just remembered something else this genius doctor told me. About 1/2 way through my journey, she told me that it looked as if I'd be one of those that would need plastic surgery.

Another thing that just came to me. My doctor prior to this one never ever mentioned my weight to me at ALL. Not sure if it would have propelled me to do anything had he, but I DO feel it was irresponsible of him not to mention that my weight needed to be dealt with. That I was a walking time bomb. I feel that not mentioning it was NOT looking out for my best interests.

nelie
10-29-2009, 01:16 PM
One reason I always like foreign trained doctors because they will always tell you about your weight (at least in my experience). Although most of my doctors said something about my weight and I worked with quite a few of them on my weight. I know a lot of doctors won't but any doctor who spends more than 5 minutes with you should ask you about your weight, of course that is should and doesn't mean they will.

time2lose
10-29-2009, 02:09 PM
My primary doctor also recommended WLS to me but I can't fault him. He talked about my weight for years. He always encouraged me to lose weight, gave me diet pills when I asked for them. I think that he felt that he had done all that he could for me so he gave up and recommended the surgery. I did not think that it was possible for me to lose weight on my own. Actually, when I first started, I held onto one thing that my doctor had told me. He had said that losing just 10 or 20 pounds would make a difference in my health. So I did not look at my final goal, still don't for that matter. I focused on losing 10 or 20 pounds. When I lost 20 pounds, I thought that I could do that again.

I am seeing my doctor in a couple of weeks and look forward to his reaction. I want him to be able to tell his other morbidly obese patients that you can lose weight with diet and exercise. He has a patient that has done it.

Thighs Be Gone
10-29-2009, 02:28 PM
Yep, I've had the question too.

It seems like the weightloss commercials for lapband and gastric bypass are on ALL the time now--our local magazine that gets sent out free to our community is loaded with the ads. It seems like many of the shows on TV regarding weightloss are also ending in success with some sort of surgery.

I sure wish I would see more of a push towards the au natural method. I did consider the lapband at one point but it wasn't my route. Maybe if they had equal "game time" in media it would become more popular.

And no, I don't think LB or GB are a walk in the park--not anything I have read would lead me to believe that.

Lori Bell
10-29-2009, 03:28 PM
I have not only had the question asked, but I have also been told it was the only way I would be able to do it, (by my original now ex-Doctor), AND I have actually had people accuse me of having "Secret WLS". I know I've told this story 100 times, but several months ago at a fundraising event, a member of our community approached me and said to me, "Everyone is talking about your secret gastric by-pass surgery." I told tell her that I would be happy to show "everyone" my gut so they could check for scars...I wish I would have said something a little more intelligent but I was thrown for a loop. I didn't realize people talked about me...lol ;)

ubergirl
10-29-2009, 05:27 PM
That is strange. I know others here have said their doctors recommended weight loss surgery for them. I was over 300 lbs for 15 years and not once did any doctor tell me I should have surgery.

To be fair, mine didn't recommend it. When I came in asking about it, that was when he told me that it was the only possible approach.

To be honest, I think he was trying to be supportive of me in my efforts to lose weight. He wasn't very well-informed about the procedure itself.

HeaterAS
10-29-2009, 05:39 PM
I have not only had the question asked, but I have also been told it was the only way I would be able to do it, (by my original now ex-Doctor), AND I have actually had people accuse me of having "Secret WLS". I know I've told this story 100 times, but several months ago at a fundraising event, a member of our community approached me and said to me, "Everyone is talking about your secret gastric by-pass surgery." I told tell her that I would be happy to show "everyone" my gut so they could check for scars...I wish I would have said something a little more intelligent but I was thrown for a loop. I didn't realize people talked about me...lol ;)

that hurts. I am so proud of you for what you have accomplished and I don't even know you. Kudos to you for standing up for yourself.
I have had 3 different doctors within a few weeks suggest WLS to me. I have such a skewed vision of myself that I really didn't believe that I was big enough to need WLS. That I would even qualify. Only kidding myself :(
But I am going to do this on my own. I have so much emotional issues tied to eating that WLS would not be a long term solution for me. Sure I'd lose the weight, but I just about guarentee I'd gain it all back.

rockinrobin
10-29-2009, 05:47 PM
There is this one person, a man no less, who was so insistent that I had the surgery, that he always questions one of my good friends about it. I know this because she tells me. Anyway, she finally convinces him (this is over a period of a couple years) and he believes that I didn't have Weight loss surgery. Now he tells my friend, talk about ignorant, that I MUST have had liposuction. You can't win with some people. They want to talk, let um.

Trazey34
10-29-2009, 06:06 PM
My favourite reply to that question is always "I decided to start with the FORK instead of the KNIFE"

JustBeckyV
10-29-2009, 06:12 PM
Well it should be great to know that people are noticing though!!

Meg
10-29-2009, 06:16 PM
My favourite reply to that question is always "I decided to start with the FORK instead of the KNIFE"

Bwah ha ha! :rofl: I love that response! It's the best one I've ever heard and I hope you don't mind if I steal it.

rockinrobin
10-29-2009, 07:50 PM
Trazey, that IS a good one. I'm going to borrow (steal) it too.

TJFitnessDiva
10-29-2009, 08:06 PM
I am going to have to remember that for next time!! :)

starfishkitty
10-29-2009, 09:33 PM
They always look so disappointed when you say you're just watching what you eat and exercising - like you've let them down!


LOL! So true!!!

catherinef
10-30-2009, 01:57 AM
My mother's the only person who has directly asked me, and only because she was worried about it. My weight has been a real issue between us, until a few years ago, when I told her, explicitly, to shut up about it or face my wrath. We see each other in person very rarely, as we live in different countries, and after our big blow-out had settled down, and I started shifting the lard off my bum, I've been keeping her up-to-date on my progress. There's a family friend who had gastric bypass surgery a few years ago, and has since gained back all the weight she lost, and acquired some pretty unpleasant health issues related to the surgery, and this has given my mum a negative view of WLS. She was immensely relieved to hear I've been doing it the old fashioned way.

Other than that, some folks have asked leading questions of the sort where you can just TELL that they expect you've had surgery. I find it annoying, because I just don't think it's any of their business. And, oh yes, people do seem so disappointed when you hit them with the "calorie counting/exercise" explanation. I think some of them are hoping for a specific diet with a brand name attached, and some of them just do not believe you can lose massive quantities of weight without surgical intervention.

rockinrobin
10-30-2009, 06:31 AM
some of them just do not believe you can lose massive quantities of weight without surgical intervention.

But for a very long time I was one of those people as well. But even as I sit here and write that out, I am wondering did I really, really believe that I couldn't get the weight off on my own? Or did I really know deep, deep, DEEP down inside that I had the ability to do it. I'm not sure of the answer to that.

Luckily, I don't give it thought that often. It could drive you bonkers.

ubergirl
10-30-2009, 12:04 PM
But for a very long time I was one of those people as well. But even as I sit here and write that out, I am wondering did I really, really believe that I couldn't get the weight off on my own? Or did I really know deep, deep, DEEP down inside that I had the ability to do it. I'm not sure of the answer to that.

Luckily, I don't give it thought that often. It could drive you bonkers.

Interesting.

I STILL can't believe that I was ONE DAY AWAY from doing WLS. If it hadn't been for an insurance glitch then I would have done it. I was already on the pre-op fast.

The thing that freaks me out about it is that the whole time I was getting ready, there was this little voice inside me screaming MISTAKE MISTAKE MISTAKE that I was trying very hard to ignore.

And now, when I am slowly coming to the painful realization that it was a choice all along to overeat and stay fat. I told myself one million stories about how I had an uncontrollable problem, but really it was controllable, I just chose not to control it.

FitGirlyGirl
10-30-2009, 12:38 PM
I love the things that I am told by people who have had surgery too. Some of them are fine and they know that even if that was their path, it isn't for everyone. I think some of them somewhat regret it though and so they don't exactly like seeing others have success without it. I have had people who have had surgery (one in particular) harp and harp and harp about how I should go have it. I'm doing it without the surgery and am doing just fine, but they just go on about how much more success I would have if I did have it. I did consider it, but I gave myself a few months to see what I could do. I set goals for myself and if I had not been able to meet the goals I was going to ask the doc about lap band, but I did meet the goals and so I just kept going. At this point my insurance would not even consider me a candidate for surgery. I tell them all of this, but they don't listen. They want their way to be the only way because they don't want to admit that maybe they could have done it without the surgery too. It is annoying. I am especially annoyed with the one in particular who eats like crap and even though she says she has lost over 100 in less than a year, I figure with the way she eats she will be one of those who puts it all back on, yet she has her fiance (one of my best friends) talked into have surgery too. If he had decided to do so on his own I would have no issue with it, but her talking him into it to help her not feel bad ticks me off.

I would like to make it clear that I have no problem with people having WLS when they do it right and with the right attitude. I have no problem with the people who have the surgery and follow doc's orders and use it as a tool to get healthier but are still supportive of people in their lives who lose weight without surgery and do not think it is something every overweight person should do just because they chose it. I have the same issues with people who think that their religion is the only right way to go, men who played football and think that boys who don't are wusses or something, homeschooling parents who think it is wrong to put kids in public school, parents with kids in public school who think it is wrong to homeschool, vegans who attempt to convert me, meat eaters who attempt to convert the vegans, and so on. It's a personality type, and not a pretty one.