100 lb. Club - To share 3fc or not to share . . .




jenhai
10-21-2009, 10:04 PM
I always want to share posts, links and pictures from 3fc with my friends and family. I think that the experiences, information and thoughts here are so helpful. Selfishly, I have not shared the site with anyone IRL. I always feel that my posts are open, honest, and so transparent. I have the selfish fear that people I know IRL will know all of the things that I have fessed up here. I know that after they join, they will read all about it. There is a certain transparency that goes along with anonymity. Also, I don't mind telling people how much weight I have lost, but I never share the details (unless you are my Hubby or trusted SIL) of my starting weight and goal. I know that my ticker tells the entire ugly story. However, on the other hand it also tells of my success!

Do you share? There are so many recipes and tips that I want to forward to my SIL and to my friends who have no clue about how to begin to lose weight.

To share or not to share . . . that IS the question!


BerkshireGrl
10-21-2009, 10:07 PM
I do not ;) I have made this a place where I can talk very openly about myself and painful struggles I've had, and I don't want my family or friends (or net acquaintances) to read every revealing detail about me.

VernDern
10-21-2009, 10:11 PM
I tell people about it. My bff and I actually joined together and both keep a blog so we can be accountable and have a weight loss buddy. Im not ashamed of any info on the site really. I may be emarrassed that everyone would know my real weight because Ive only told 2 people how much I weigh IRL and so that would be tough but Im here doing something about it so who cares if they see how much my high weight was because its not what I weigh now. I post some pretty TMI stuff about myself everyonce in a while but Im an open book in the first place so it doesnt bother me. If I was a more private person I would probably keep it on the d/l.

If I think it will help someone I love lose weight and get motivated I share it but thats just me. This site has really got me moving and excited to be changing old habits and if can do that for friends and family then Im all for it!

=)


LotusMama
10-21-2009, 10:15 PM
Jenhai, I don't for the same reasons you don't!

Confidentially yours,

J

mandalinn82
10-21-2009, 10:19 PM
I tell everyone about 3FC...I have a longstanding policy of not posting anything in a public forum that I would mind people reading, so I don't really worry about that angle. And my numbers went WAY public with the Woman's World story (although THAT was a little creepy, because people who would NEVER join here were picking that up and reading my scary starting numbers).

I just know it's helped me so much, so I offer it up whenever someone asks me that "How did you do it" question.

JulieJ08
10-21-2009, 10:25 PM
I haven't told some people I might have, and sometimes I feel bad about that. But I like being anonymous.

jenhai
10-21-2009, 10:28 PM
Thank you ladies for your thoughts.

VernDern - I can see what you mean. You live in my immediate area. Congrats on joining with your BF. I tell my hubby everything about 3fc and share stories with him. But, I never thought about him joining. Thanks for that idea.

Mandalinn . . . I never thought about the Woman's World exposure. But, I have always heard don't write down anything that you don't want to be read. You are right! I think that I will limit some "situational items". BTW, your story and recipes are amazing!

Thighs Be Gone
10-21-2009, 10:30 PM
I have told me sis-in-law and a couple of very close friends of mine. People I very much care about and people I think could really benefit from the knowledge of 3FC. I guard it pretty well though. In reality though, there is nothing I have said here I would be ashamed to admit and share with anyone if pressed--and I have shared quite a bit. If someone is going to judge me or snicker at me for my feelings or actions they can have at it! They have the rest of their fingers pointing back at them! It is easier to share here because it is online. Plus, people here GET it. There is nothing I could say here that another woman hasn't experienced.

duckyyellowfeet
10-22-2009, 12:14 AM
I would tell people who I feel would benefit from the information, with the exception of a friend of mine for personal reasons. I'd have no problem telling people about the website in the terms of "I joined 3fc and it helped me lose weight" to pretty much anyone...

VernDern
10-22-2009, 12:20 AM
Oops! I meant my bestfriend forever (BFF)! lol My boyfriend actually knows I joined a site and Im sure he's figured out which one by seeing me on here ALL THE TIME but I havn't even told him my weight. Simply because I do weigh a alightly more than he does right now and Im just embarrassed. I'll tell him how much I weigh now when Im skinny or less than him. haha

Windchime
10-22-2009, 12:22 AM
I have only shared with one person. She lurked here along with me early in the year and then I believe she left. I don't use my real name and have thus far not posted a picture of my face. I have mentioned my starting weight a few times in some posts and have also mentioned my current weight, so anyone who reads here regularly and has basic math skills would be able to figure out my starting weight, heh. But still yet....it's one thing for you guys, my fellow chickies, to know. And another thing for casual work acquaintances to know how much I weigh/weighed.

So selfishly, I have not shared. Sad but true.

ANewCreation
10-22-2009, 12:22 AM
Not that I am ashamed of anything I've posted here but this is 'my' space. It's the one place I can come and know that someone here understands because we all have been there at one point or another. I do share with my family but they don't understand like the people at 3FC and they never will because they don't have food issues like I do.

If I truly thought a friend would benefit from this forum then I would share. But, I'd wait for them to ask.

CLCSC145
10-22-2009, 12:50 AM
I don't really talk about my weight problem with people in my life because it makes me uncomfortable, but I am very comfortable talking about it here. Even though I am proud of myself for what I've accomplished, I do feel a lot of shame and embarrassment about letting myself get this way. This is my safe zone and I would rather not invite in my friends from outside. So I get it!

nooch
10-22-2009, 01:48 AM
I don't usually tell anyone I know IRL about forums I post on (which is really only this, another one, and the wow forums when I used to play wow). This is my weight loss world, and there are some things I just only want to share with people who have been there, done that, and are wearing the t-shirts. My husband knows what forums I post on, and in passing conversation with others I will mention "the weight loss forum" and perhaps they know it's 3FC and perhaps they don't but I am not going to open up that part of myself.

starfishkitty
10-22-2009, 02:48 AM
I've shared with a couple of close women in my life... my best friend who has discovered through here that she has an actual, real life binging problem because of 3FC and has found serious comfort and relief from those forums for stuff that had been driving her INSANE for years.... and my younger sister who is also battling a weight problem, though she only gets on every now and then.

Like others said, if I'm going to put it out there.. it's something I'd tell someone if they asked. And even if I wouldn't, and they found it, and were THAT darned interested in it... so be it. I'm not ashamed of my scars and the battles I've won.... or lost. Cos I sure as **** lived to tell the tale!

:)

So I guess my answer is this: I share with those I am close to and feel comfortable sharing with, who can benefit from it. Other than that, I just say "the weight loss forums I frequent". If someone I know IRL finds me on here, so be it!

augeremt
10-22-2009, 06:48 AM
I have this same problem too. My roommate is also my best friend and we're extremely close. I don't think there's anything she doesn't know about me (except for this forum now). But now that I've gotten serious about weight loss, I'm kind of embarrassed about it. I have no idea why, but I think it's because I put on this aura of "I don't care what anyone thinks about me," and joining a forum about weight-loss is admitting that I do. And I don't like that.

She's been out of town this week so she doesn't know that I've also gotten a GoWear Fit. As weird as this sounds, I'm dreading telling her about it - she will notice it eventually so I feel I should just be up front. The funny thing is we share everything and through our ups and downs (and we've had plenty of those), we have never judged or looked down on each other. Our motto seems to be "Whatever floats your boat, I'll support", which is why I have no idea why I'm suddenly so nervous about this little thing.

Obviously having my picture up and putting up current and starting weights, I'm not too concerned if someone stumbles upon these posts. But I'm not going to come out there and say it. To make it a bit harder, I'm even using a different screen name from the one I use on just about every other site in the world, so I'm trying to be pseudo-discreet. But if I don't feel comfortable telling my best friend (whom I've told a lot more embarrassing and unflattering things), there's no way anyone else is hearing about 3FC from me.

Maybe when I get less self-conscious about this weight thing, I'll be more comfortable talking about my successes and struggles, but for now 3FC is my little haven.

Ruthxxx
10-22-2009, 06:58 AM
I tell the world and even write down the website for them. I really don't give a S*** what people think of me but then, I'm old, and it really doesn't matter.

Beverlyjoy
10-22-2009, 07:01 AM
I told my sister. I mentioned it to one other person - along with Sparkpeople, fitday, etc.

But, this is a place where I can be honest and open - I totally understand how you feel.

DCHound
10-22-2009, 07:27 AM
No, I haven't mentioned it to anyone IRL and I also don't post face shots or anything that would identify me to people who might know me and come here incidentally. My ex-husband is pretty well known at least in DC circles and, even though I'm not, there are plenty of people who could recognize me, because of him, if I were a little less circumspect.

If you knew me IRL you would never guess I was the notorious DCHound! LOL

harrismm
10-22-2009, 07:37 AM
I tell the world and even write down the website for them. I really don't give a S*** what people think of me but then, I'm old, and it really doesn't matter.

ROFLMA:)

TJFitnessDiva
10-22-2009, 08:42 AM
I've told a few people about this place since they kept asking me about weight loss in hopes that they'd find a place here. I really have nothing to hide and if I b*tched about :lol: it here I have probably b*tched about it to their face if it involves them too It's just what I do lol

My numbers are just numbers and I've heard it all from them asking me if I've had WLS, a disease, eating disorder, etc. As you lose more weight you'll get the few naysayers in with the people that are really happy for you ;)

time2lose
10-22-2009, 09:11 AM
I have told 2 people about this site. People that are interested in weight loss and I think could benefit from being here. I am not randomly sharing it with people that might look just out of curiosity.

I have a rule not to post anything online that I would mind seeing on the front page of the newspaper so I struggled with the idea of posting my weight. A reality check got me to thinking "What am I thinking!!" - Is my obesity is a secret? Maybe people have not realized that I was very fat? Get real, time2lose, everyone knows! Someone actually knowing my numbers would be a little embarrassing but it is not like I was doing something illegal.

I generally try not to say anything that I would not want my family to read. It is an extension of a long time policy of mine to not write anything that I do not want DH or children finding. Diaries scare me. I thought about that when the David Letterman problem started. Someone wrote something in a diary that the wrong person read.

Pictures are even scarier than postings. I thought long and hard before posting shots that show my face. However, my face shows my weight loss more than any other part of my body. I decided that there was no shame there so I would post but I would hate to see my picture attached to some article on obesity in America.

The pictures that some people post in their underwear do make me nervous for them. I am afraid what could happen if the wrong people got hold of them. However, everyone here should be an adult and can make these decisions for themselves.

lottie63
10-22-2009, 10:18 AM
in regards to people knowing how much you weighed.....I used to really care about that, to be really embarrassed. but, since I've lost I kind of don't care anymore, not sure why. I've told several people my starting weight, and it's not the end of the world. They have eyes and all. ;)

kuhrisuh
10-22-2009, 11:26 AM
I don't tell anyone but my boyfriend.. I tell him all the cool things I read or anything really funny :) I'm the same way as some of you.. I am completely myself on here, and I don't really want people I know knowing how much I weigh & such!

Mikayla
10-22-2009, 11:41 AM
I tell everyone I talk about weightloss with about this site, because it has helped me tremendously. I'm not too worried about people recognizing me or knowing how much I weigh. I do avoid posting info about my exact location but I'm not really worried about the other details I post.

Of course I tell just about everyone about my weightloss, I'm working really hard and I'm very proud. I enjoy the boasting :-)

JustBeckyV
10-22-2009, 11:47 AM
I actually have a ticker on my face book and talk about my journey on there as well. I don't think I would share here though unless they were wanting to lose weight as well. I woulnd't want them just coming and reading what i have talked about lol

possiblesuccess
10-22-2009, 02:50 PM
...I don't know that I've actually come right out and told anyone that I joined the site. My sister (8) is beginning to read better..so of course she blurts out anything she can read to the whole room. So my dad and step mom probably know just cause of my sister. I have thought about telling people at the gym I go to.. The gym offers a program called the Biggest Winner. And one of the challenges for the group is to find a weight loss buddy...I thought about telling that group about this site. Only because you all have helped me so much...and because it's nice to have a place where everyone knows how this struggles feels...

RN BSN 2009
10-22-2009, 03:13 PM
Hmmm... I'd have to go back and see what I actually posted........ LOL

Elladorine
10-22-2009, 03:21 PM
I have two main internet handles. This is one of them, and the only one I tie my real name to (even though I've only revealed my first name at this point). I don't really allow the different handles to touch each other, as I don't think I'd like anyone to be able to google my other handle and stumble across this one. :o At the same time, I honestly don't think most people I know, either in RL or in the online world, would have much interest in anything I have to say here. If they do ask about my weight loss, I tell them about the LJ blog I have linked in my signature. Although the handle there is similar to this one, it does not directly tie back to this account I have here.

What I used to live in fear of was the people who know me through my other internet handle would find out I was "fat." It was like a carefully guarded secret, lol. I think I was being a bit silly and overly-worried about that, but at the time, I think it was the first way I was ever able to be myself around others without having to worry about how I physically looked. I'm sure many of you can relate to feeling constantly judged by your looks alone, and it was very freeing to not have to worry about that in at least one aspect of my life.

I'm currently getting over that though . . . I recently posted my latest before and after pics under my other handle, very nervously I might add. But I think it was a big step of accepting not only who I am now, but who I was as the scared, overly self-conscious person before I started this journey. Plus those who replied to my weight loss seemed genuinely happy for me; some even said I look "hot." ;) Wow, I'm so not used to hearing that, lol. :carrot:

KateRN
10-22-2009, 03:50 PM
I do not tell people about it... for a few reasons. I dont want a lot of people knowing my actual weight (haha!!), I also have made this "my" place and am very open on here, in ways that would not be to other people.