Featherweights - Mean Girls: Not-Fat is Unequal to Thin

Did you ever see the episode of AbFab where Eddie loses weight? At the end she goes out with her magazine "friends" to celebrate, and one of them says, "But you know, you're still fat!"

I recently read "Thin Is the New Happy," which tells about the author's overweight childhood. It brought back bad memories. I know sometimes people with more weight to lose think featherweights can't really relate, but there's a lot of cruelty at the low end of the scale.

Even though I'm right in the middle of normal BMI, I'd still be waaaayyyy too intimidated to go into certain stores to shop. And I know there are whole groups of women who'd still call me fat.

Anyone relate?

i can totally relate! i know my bmi is normal, but i also know that i'm 20 lbs heavier than i've ever been and am now the 'fat one' at work AND with all my friends...

I can definitely relate... I am on a rowing team so all of the people are in reaaaally good shape. I am pretty muscular but one of the slower rowers (rhyme hehe) and definitely one of the heaviest (in proportion to height) girls on the team... I feel really self conscious pretty much all of the time. :(

I am a marathon runner. I hang out with "lithe runnerly types" who think that Deena Kastor (http://i.a.cnn.net/si/2004/writers/mike_fish/08/31/olympics.marathon/p1_kastor_getty.jpg) has normal body fat. :p

Yeah, I can relate.

I'm in Japan for the time being and every other girl here is stick-thin. I'm "fat" here. It messes with my head. I keep reminding myself not to compare myself to them, because I'm half-American and have different genes and just cannot get stick-thin even if I tried. I don't even want to be stick-thin. I prefer being athletic-looking.

But I do. I compare.

I am another one who can relate to this. I have a normal bmi but have extra weight around my abdomen that wasn't there a few years ago.
I'm wondering if I can even get rid of this? :(

I was just talking to a couple coworkers yesterday re the BMI thing. Both ladies are what I would call medium slim and curvy. One is about a size six (very small frame) and the other is probably an 8 or so. They both said their BMIs are borderline for obesity. That seems kind of cattywampus to me.

That doesn't make sense to me either. Maybe they're confusing overweight with obesity. Which would still be strange at size 6 or 8, but not as much as obesity.

I had a skin caliper test done and was told I was obese. I am 129 pounds and this is what I was told. Very confusing.

We had my DH's best friend and his wife over this past weekend, and the wife - who is 8 years younger than I am - offered to lend me a pair of jeans she has that she loves but can only wear when she's pregnant - really? To her credit she's normally very nice and complimentary, but she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer...I know she meant well - the jeans are probably $150 -she's very trendy and spends gobs (of her aunts money, i might add) on her clothes - but I'm nearly a good 6-8 inches taller than she is and maybe 10-12lbs heavier... it's not like she's a toothpick and I'm a hippo - give me a freakin' break!

Amy -- OMG :frypan: to the head to that girl!!

BMI -- my BMI is high too, overweight/obese range, but I am very muscular because I workout a lot at the gym, so this is why the high BMI. The BMI is not for everyone, athletes and very muscular people are excluded from this list because : «.... people who are unusually muscular may have a high BMI.» Here is the full article (http://adam.about.com/encyclopedia/Body-mass-index.htm)

AR4life -- If your waist circumference is less than 35 along with a healthy BMI you're very healthy indeed... Whoever took your caliper test was not well educated!

Maybe the problem with the BMI thing is that it's jsut one more thing where people are trying to do a one size fits all thing and put people in little boxes/categories.

My husband (a rather tall, lanky, lean kinda guy) had his body fat measured and they said it was too low. The man eats like a horse and is healthy. At the time, he was working out heavily and had a lot of muscle but not much body fat. I think it's the same thing- it's just that they have these magic numbers and these criteria and they try to fit people into them.

Maybe the problem with the BMI thing is that it's jsut one more thing where people are trying to do a one size fits all thing and put people in little boxes/categories.

.I completely agree!!

I still DEFINITELY see this in my own world. There is a group of ladies I know that are 0's or 00's even. They all have tiny bones in addition to being thin. They definitely look down on anyone bigger--or at least seem like they do.

That doesn't make sense to me either. Maybe they're confusing overweight with obesity. Which would still be strange at size 6 or 8, but not as much as obesity.

That's probably what it is. I'm a size 6-8, depending on the brand with a bmi in the overweight range, because I'm short.

Like chickennugget126, I also spend a lot of time in Japan (and soon Korea). In Japan, I feel like an ogre in height but especially in weight. It also doesn't help that so many people there are willing to tell you to your face every single day that you're "fat." Shopping for clothes there is kinda depressing...

I can so relate to this. I have really broad shoulders - even if I were to weigh 90 lb I would still be a size 10 on top. I have learned with these kinds of women to stay far far away and avoid any conversation around bodies or food... like my SIL (5.5 and 90 lb on a heavy day) who always finds away to make a patronizing comment about my "big bonestructure" and then pretends it was innocent and "helpful"

Oh, I get this. :) I have some height, I'm built like a bar-room brawler, and I've been blessed with nice big bones to hold it all up. "Thin" ain't never gonna be in my vocabulary! :lol: But there's something about the idea of "not fat" as an alternative description that I really like, and I would never trade this body that can swim, jump, climb and endure for the somewhat-tragic ability to look like a coat hanger. Pity that it took me 42 years to make that mental shift!

I can very much relate. A few weeks ago I found myself in the middle of this conversation where these 2 friends of mine were comparing where they are size 0, size 00 or *gasp* a 2. I felt like an ogre. Then I reminded myself just how absurd they sounded.

AR4life -- If your waist circumference is less than 35 along with a healthy BMI you're very healthy indeed... Whoever took your caliper test was not well educated!

It's a little more complicated than that. Even women with an absolute waist size less than 35" are considered at a health risk if their waist/hip ratio is greater than .8. My waist is 32" and my waist/hip ratio is close to .9 (apple shaped).

I'm in the lower half of the normal BMI range, but I'm not muscular and because I'm apple shaped, I do have a tummy poodge. I certainly look fat to other folks. Even my hubby, trying to compliment me, says I look "less fat" than I used to. So, I need to get more exercise, better/more sleep and a whittle a few more pounds.

I can kinda of relate. It's more because I love clothes and used to be pretty skinny. In average American clothes I'm ususally a 4/6 but in some of the designers I love I'm more a 10/12. While many people would consider me slim in the world of fashion I am definitely on the heavy side. I live in NY and just got back from Paris. When shopping in those cities I just suck it up and know I will be a Medium or often a Large. Sometimes it seems a bit silly. I recently tried on a jacket and the 12 was too small and I thought at 130 lbs can I really be too big to fit into these clothes? I guess so, but I still like myself and my body and that is the most important.

Although I am nowhere near being considered thin, I can completely relate. I live in a very thin town, where most people (men and women of all ages, kids, middle-aged moms with 3 kids in tow) are size 4 or smaller. No joke. A friend of mine, who would be considered "normal" anywhere else in the country, is probably a size 6/8. She's been called fat a few times by her friends and definitely feels like she doesn't fit in. You can only imagine how I feel around all these thin folks...

In short, I need to move. BUT, that's where the rugby team boosts my self-esteem (and probably contributes to my weight problem). They embrace large girls, since the skinny ones need someone to protect them from the hard-hitting muscular types. Otherwise they'd break in half.

Like chickennugget126, I also spend a lot of time in Japan (and soon Korea). In Japan, I feel like an ogre in height but especially in weight. It also doesn't help that so many people there are willing to tell you to your face every single day that you're "fat." Shopping for clothes there is kinda depressing...

OMG OMG OMG what I always got while I was there was, メーガン大きいね. (Megan, you're big!). A lot of that had to do with my height too but still.... didn't make me feel the best to be told I was "big" all the tim.