[Jewcy]

Hi lovely ladies of maintenance My situation is unusual, but I think you guys have plenty of experience with body image issues, so I'm putting it out there.

A little bio on me: I'm 21, a fulltime student majoring in history and working part-time at a bakery/cafe. When in high school, I developed anorexia and spent most of my senior year at home or in the hospital. My lowest weight at this time was about 73 lbs (I'm 5'1"). After I got out of the hospital, I fluctuated, but usually maintained about 85 lbs., give or take. Everyone started telling me how great and healthy I looked...but the thing was, I was still underweight, and my doctors wanted me to gain 15 lbs or so. I'm around87-89 now, which is still underweight by BMI standards. And though I'm small-boned and could probably be healthy at under 100, I feel like everyone is used to me this way and thinks I look normal, and if I gain to a healthy weight I'll look "chubby". Part of this is just my eating disorder talking, but I do have a real fear of people wondering "Why did she gain weight? She already looked fine."

I know y'all are not ED experts or anything, but I know many of you have dealt with the "what will people think" issue and might have some chickie words of wisdom.

[kiakaha]

Though I have never suffered from a full fledged ED, I certainly have struggled with food and body issues since I was about 16, though its only recently I've realised some of my food behaviors were unhealthy/ not normal.

In any case, I certainly understand where you are coming from in this post.

I think that the important thing to keep in mind is that people are actually FAR FAR less interested in our bodies than we think they are. I mean, most people won't notice even a reasonably significant gain or loss. Of the few that do, even fewer will give it more than their fleeting attention. As an example, I consider myself to be quite a 'body conscious' person as a result of my own issues with my body, so I think I notice other people's bodies. But one of my best friends told me the other day that a couple of years back she gained 20kgs (44 lbs) in a year and slowly lost it over the last few years. I hadn't noticed AT ALL, apart from having thought she looked great now, despite spending heaps of time together over all that time.

And even those few that do notice are SERIOUSLY unlikely to think anything negative about any weight gain on your part. Seriously. Most of them will think you look fantastic, and be happy for you. They are used to you being underweight, but that is not at all to say that they won't think you look even more gorgeous at a happy and healthy weight. Honestly, one of my friends who had always been really thin recently got back to a healthy weight and everyone has been just blown away by how good she looks - we all thought she looked fine before, but seeing her fit and healthy and happy and a bit curvier has made her way way sexier and more attractive.
Others will think of it as an entirely neutral fact: E.g. 'She has gained a little weight. Huh.'
I can't imagine one single person thinking it was a mistake you gaining more weight (within your healthy range) especially if they have any knowledge of your history.

BUT imagine for a second that one person does think that, and thinks to themselves "She could have done without gaining those last few pounds", what effect does that actually have on you? Only you (and your doctors) can know what is healthy for you, and any judgmental idiot who thinks they know better isn't worth your time worrying about!

I think is fantastic you are thinking about working towards better health. It can only be a good thing.

[PinkyPie]

Awesome post. I could not have said it any better!!

[Jewcy]

Thank you for such a thoughtful & thorough response. You've given me a lot to think about -- I'll be back!

[better health3]

what will people think?

Who cares--on one level--as long as you are doing the healthiest thing for you. More than likely, many of them will think you will look healthier and better than ever...good luck.

"Why did she gain weight? She already looked fine."

This is your ED talking. The vast majority will think you look great going close to the healthier weight.

[Thinner4Winner]

I know we souldnt care what people think but it so hard. I havent left house in about a year with out someone with me. in a car. cos I cant stand people to see me .ive stopped haveing friends round to. ive now lossed 40lb and just starting to get some life back. molly xx