Weight Loss Support - Frustation even when you are making progress
10-14-2009, 01:10 PM
i have lost about 15 pounds, it's a huge accomplishment for me. i have never lost this much before. i do know i have a long way to go though. i look in the mirror and i get so frustrated. This is such slow work. i just want to cry at times.
Am i alone? i know i have much to be thankful for but at times, i get so down that i still have to far to go.
Does anyone have a better way for me to look at this situation?
10-14-2009, 01:18 PM
I don't think I have any other way of looking at it for you. But I can tell ya that I hear ya! It's so agonizingly slow some times.
You could do a "what if" I guess. I was not maintaining my highest weight, I was gaining at a ridiculous rate. How big would I be now if I hadn't tried this? No matter how slow it is ... this is better than bigger.
10-14-2009, 01:30 PM
Absolutely, all the time, especially during the first 1/2 of my journey. I'd think "oh wow! I've lost xx lbs!" then I'd think, "too bad I'm still TOTALLY fat". It was extra hard once that first whoosh of motivation wore off and I'm 20 lbs lighter and still at 200. The only thing that helps me is mini goals. If I think about how much I have to lose to get where I want to be, it overwhelms me. Instead I think about getting under a certain number. Right now I have my eye on 169 which will be 50 lbs for me. Then I'll focus on 159 which will be normal BMI. The big picture can be scary!
10-14-2009, 01:31 PM
Go pick up a five pound bag of potatoes at the grocery - you've lost 3 of those! You've lost 6% of your starting body weight. And looking at your ticker, you're almost 1/4 of the way to your goal.
Look at the positives - and maybe give yourself smaller, intermediate goals to increase your sense of accomplishment.
You're doing great - keep going!
10-14-2009, 01:32 PM
the slower the weight comes off, the less likely it is to come back on!
10-14-2009, 01:43 PM
I understand what you mean! When I look at the overall picture I have about 140lbs to lose! I've already lost 25lbs but still have 115 more to go. That seems like an impossible task. But I break it down into mini goals. Right now I am trying to lose 10% of my weight which is appx 30lbs by Christmas. I have already lost 8lbs!
Sometimes, ok a lot of times, I look in the mirror and am so upset about how much I have to lose but I try to remember that I didn't put this weight on overnight and I can not expect it to come off that quickly either.
10-14-2009, 02:10 PM
True but then again if you think about it you didn't gain it all overnight either :(
10-14-2009, 02:18 PM
Ugh, I think about this alllllll the time! 40+ pounds down and I still have fat everywhere! Frustrating as heck. But I think about how much MORE there use to be and how much more there could have been if I didn't stop that lifestyle when I had.
Time is going to keep on moving forward no mater what I'm doing, so might as well make the best of it and keep on going. Not like I ever want to go back to that lifestyle anyways.
10-14-2009, 02:30 PM
Yes, it can be SOOOOOOOO frustrating. You look in the mirror each day and say, did I REALLY lose any weight? Those little changes are so hard to see, but 15 pounds is big, and it is noticeable. You've done great already, you have accomplished something that is incredibly difficult and even though you are still frustrated, your success can carry you through it, and then, one day, your pants won't stay up anymore and you'll realize how incredibly far you've come without even realizing it and you will know that the end is way closer than you think.
Thighs Be Gone
10-14-2009, 02:37 PM
I had such horrible, horrible nutriton before that I FELT better within a few days of giving up all the crap. The way I was FEELING made me continue. Once I became accustomed to feeling better, I was looking better in pictures and was fitter into smaller sizes. A size 14 was motivating, then a size 12 and it just continued. I am still feeling really good. This morning when I went for a (short) three mile run I felt as if I could turn around and run it again with no problem. I love that "feeling" of health. My self-image is coming along too.
10-14-2009, 02:43 PM
10 lbs at a time, even 5 if you need more frequent motivation. Its the only way I could stare down a necessary 100lb loss. Reward yourself for every 5 or 10 lbs too.
10-14-2009, 03:05 PM
i'm going to come back to this thread time and time again in these next few months. You've all given me much to think about. :hug:
i was so frustrated i went to the gym and walked for 20 minutes and worked up a nice sweat.
10-14-2009, 03:17 PM
I understand, completely.
But I think you have to look for other victories.
I know I feel a whole lot better now that I'm actually eating good food. I hated that "too full" feeling and I don't have it any longer. Things like these haven't changed me outwardly, but I feel like a better person.
So maybe you have some of those things? Have you upped your time exercising, even just a couple of minutes? Or are you sleeping better? Feeling better? Experiencing a new found love of veggies? All of those things are part of the journey and can be something to motivate you when the mirror is being cruel.
10-14-2009, 03:55 PM
Yes, it`s slow progress if you are impatient, but every pound less is a pound less than you weighed yesterday.
I took it pound for pound at first, celebrated grams lost and nothing else. It was a thrill when I noticed my trousers getting wider becuase I really didn`t concentrate on that bit.
Hang in there and the rewards will become large enough eventually!
10-14-2009, 04:02 PM
Like thighsbegone, I had improvements from Day one. Day one. My constant heartburn disappeared. As did my carb stupor/lethargy that I was in., amongst other things.
I urge you to enjoy this journey. Because it's an absolute BLAST. Watching yourself shrink, finding the strength and discipline to do this, discovering who you were meant to be, the compliments, the health benefits, the emergence of muscles and bones and veins - it's all soooo very thrilling. When those rewards start surfacing, hold on. Be prepared to get blown away.
I also urge you to look at this time as very useful and very valuable. Had I woken up thin one day, I would have turned around the next day and started piling on every single pound. right back on. And probably then some. I wouldn't have had a darn clue as to what to do with my new slim self. I would have had those same horrible eating habits that led me to be super morbidly obese.
Instead I had the opportunity to LEARN how to not only lose the weight, but keep it off. The time used to get the weight off is EXTREMELY valuable. I was able to find strategies, skills and coping techniques to get me through every and any situation. I educated myself on nutrition and fitness. I discovered fabulous, fabulous foods to make and eat. I had time to tweak my plan, make it my own and get it totally and completely down pat. I had time for the old habits to die and the new and healthy ones to become firmly etched in my brain.
I urge you to find joy in this journey. It was one of the most phenomenal times of my life that I will never ever experience again.
10-14-2009, 04:12 PM
I so needed this thread. I just returned from my WW meeting, where, once again, I lost 1lb. Just 1lb. Whereas there are other ladies there who are losing 4lbs every week! It's soo frustrating, but I need to remember that it's 1lb I'll never see again, and also that the slower it comes off, the more likely it is to stay off.
I feel like I've been battling to get to onederland FOREVER! I don't know why it's being so slow for me, I've been working really hard, but I've still got 2lbs to go until I'm in onederland.
Yeah, focus on little goals and ignore the big picture. For example, my goal is 120 atm, but I'm just focusing on getting to under 200, then to getting my next silver seven, then getting under 14stone, then getting out of the 'obese' category. There are so many little goals there. Don't get disheartened; as long as you don't quit, you haven't been defeated.
10-14-2009, 05:19 PM
When I feel kind of low I go and pull out the one pair of size 32 dress pants I kept, from when I began this journey last August (2008). The last time I had tried them on, they stayed up, but just barely. They look like clown pants. I just went and tried them on again, and they won't stay up at all. They fall straight to the floor. I can *almost* get both of my legs into one pant leg. 20 more pounds and I'll be able to stand in one leg of those pants. And I wore them pretty much every day for 2 years at work--they are almost worn through at the thighs. Those pants never fail to cheer me up, no matter how down I am on myself for not being smaller yet. :)
10-14-2009, 06:46 PM
Yes, honey. Plenty. I DO understand this very well...I'm an impatient person and it is HARD to make constant little sacrifices when the goal seems so far away...
It's only now that I'm starting to understand that I do not need to reach my ultimate destination to have this journey be worth it.
At fifteen pounds I knew that I had made little changes that a few slip ups might erase, but I kept on plodding.
Now, at 50 pounds down, even though I'm still so far from my goal weight, there is NO MISTAKING that lots of aspects of my life are much better.
The main thing that really helped me get through those early days was the stuff I chanted to myself-- a lot of stuff that I heard right here on 3FC... I just kept repeating it to myself when I got down, and then helped me get through... and then, the next thing you know, I was down 25 pounds and I was buying smaller pants and changing my chickie avatar and I was probably more surprised to get there than you can imagine!!!
This is going to be true for you too! Fifteen pounds is A LOT!
Just keep doing what you're doing and it will happen for you too. I promise!
10-14-2009, 06:57 PM
I totally understand how you feel!
I have lost about 18 lbs in 3-4 months. I thought it would be coming off faster. I'm really good at sticking to my diet and I'm working out really hard at the gym. BUT everyone keeps telling me that it is coming off slower because I am doing it the healthy way, and the slower it comes off, the less likely I will be to put it back on. I do get frustrated when I look in the mirror and see that I still have so much more work to do...but I can see a difference. Just gotta keep your eye on the prize and remember it's not going to lose itself.
10-14-2009, 08:39 PM
Ugghhh I know how you feel!
I can't tell a difference when I look in the mirror at all...
I just keep picturing what I'll look like when I'm done.. and try my hardest to use that to keep me going.
Stay strong girl!
10-14-2009, 08:59 PM
If you're finding that the weight is coming off slowly, and your goal seems far away, do what I did and take photos of yourself every month in your underwear, front, back and side. Then compare them. The problem is that even though the scale says I'm losing weight, I'm not seeing it. But I saw it when I compared June's pictures with October's pictures. Just 22.5lbs but I really saw a difference. I recommend it.
10-14-2009, 09:59 PM
I recommend taking pictures, too. I can only see small differences between pictures (I take them every 2 months), but when I compare beginning to now, I see a big difference.
15 pounds is a lot. Sometimes it's not enough to see, but if you go to the store and lift a 15 pound sack of potatoes, you'll see how much it is. If you carry that sack around the store for awhile, you'll start to really understand that you have got a really good start on this thing.
Please don't be discouraged. Stick with it. The pounds add up and they really do make a difference.
10-14-2009, 10:11 PM
TOTALLY! I am just now starting to feel different and see the changes happening. And it's great. Whatever you do, don't give up - the frustration and hard work are so worth it.
10-15-2009, 12:54 AM
The way i look at it, time is going to pass by either way. You can make yourself healthier and happier its going to take time. I spent 30 years getting fat and it sure as heck better be quicker to get it off. But you are changing your life, permanent changes and permanent weight loss is what you want. Everyone here knows how frustrating it is.
I take it one day at a time, even one hour at a time. If I can make it through that I can do it again. I make lots of little goals and celebrate many times a day when I resist a snack or drink all my water or just get up and move.
You can do it! You are worth it!