Weight Loss Support - Feeling like I can't do this.




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takarixvx
10-12-2009, 10:42 AM
Hey everyone so lately I've been feeling like I will never be able to lose weight. I really want to but I don't know I feel like there is something blocking me and I'm never consistant with my work outs or eating right.
I see all you wonder people on here losing so much weight and I think "Wow that's amazing but that will never happen to me ". I don't know if I just don't want it bad enough or what because when I look at myself I get depressed over my size and I want to do something about it but its like I rather just be sad and sit at home. Sometimes ill be in a great mood and want tp work out but lately I've been so lazy. Im not sure if this is making any sense but if any of you have some words or incouragment, tips, or anything that would be super helpful.
Thanks everyone :)


srmb60
10-12-2009, 10:49 AM
Oh yes, lots of us have felt like that. Lots of us feel like that on a regular basis :D

I'm going to suggest that you hunt around for a daily chat thread. As you read and post from day to day, you'll find that almost all of us have our ups and downs. But with support, the down days won't seem so down.

bargoo
10-12-2009, 10:56 AM
I notice your starting weight is 172. I can remember being 172 and feeling like you do, I didn't do anything about except to fret about being overweight, By not doing anything I eventually found myself at over 204 pounds. Then I started to do something about it. It would have been so much easier if I had started when I was 172 and not 32 or more pounds heavier. It only gets harder the more you put it off.


Windchime
10-12-2009, 10:57 AM
You sound like you may be a little overwhelmed. I heartily endorse Susan's suggestion to find a thread or group that you can participate in and start jumping in. But as far as losing weight goes--please don't be overwhelmed. You don't have to jump in 100% at first. Lots of people find it easier to dip their toe in the water first.

Start small, if that's what works for you. Start by saying that you will cut back on soda and drink 6 glasses of water a day, for instance. Do that for a few days, then start something else like a little light exercise. Remember that doesn't necessarily mean putting on full workout gear and jumping headlong into the gym; it can also mean making a committment to walk a mile a day, three days a week.

As you start adding good habits to replace bad ones, you will see results. And that will help to motivate you forward.

You can do this. Unless your body has figured out a way to totally violate the laws of physics and themodynamics, it IS possible for you to lose weight. So that's good, right!?? Keep hanging around and take a few baby steps. You'll soon be on your way!

iDream
10-12-2009, 11:00 AM
I second what Susan said! I've felt like that a lot! What really helped this time around was having someone to be accountable to. First it was a friend who was also on a mission to lose weight who was doing a fantastic job with working out and eating right. Then I found this board again and jumped right into a monthly challenge thread--and that really made the difference for me! Being able to check in with those girls daily and seeing all that they were doing to make their goals has been be so very inspiring!! On the days where I didn't feel like working out, I'd check in on the exercise thread, see that everyone else was busting their butts and I'd suck it up and do it too! :)

Come on over and jump right in! It's never too late to join a challenge and the ladies there are absolutely fantastic!!! (of course, all the ladies & gentlemen here are! :)) http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chicks-up-challenge/182819-october-weight-loss-challenge.html

ennay
10-12-2009, 11:01 AM
what they said:)

also, right now I see your goal and I know the feeling of "jeeeez 52-62 lbs to lose that is sooooo much". It can be overwhelming. When I lost my weight I broke it in to very very small chunks. "Get below the obese BMI" then 5-10 lbs at a time.

To start, just focus on losing that first 3 lbs and getting into the 160's. That's it, just 3 little pounds. Let yourself feel victorious as often as possible. Success breeds success

nelie
10-12-2009, 11:08 AM
I would agree, focus on small goals. It can especially help when you are stuck to think of the smaller picture rather than the bigger picture.

You can do this :)

Procrastinating
10-12-2009, 11:49 AM
I also agree with what everyone is saying about starting small! I too often have motivation problems, so some of the things I think to myself as I'm reaching for some cookies to eat while watching TV are like, "This is a choice. Do you CHOOSE to gain more weight, or do you CHOOSE to put those cookies away?" and just the whole choice thing really coerces me to make the choice to LOSE weight instead of gain it. Also, like others mentioned before, when you eat, just think to yourself, "Do I NEED this (aka you're actually HUNGRY) or do I WANT this?" and eventually you learn to restrain your cravings. I'm really struggling with that cravings part right now because I'd often find myself with free time, so I like to watch TV on my laptop, and I usually like to snack when I do watch TV, lol. D:

But yessss! I know you can do it! We're all here to back you up! x)

takarixvx
10-12-2009, 12:18 PM
Thanks everyone! Seriously reading all these post made me feel a lot better and even worked out right now. I'm so glad I found 3fc all of you guys are so wonderful :).

yoovie
10-12-2009, 05:04 PM
Up your iron intake as well. Maybe you aren't getting enough and its contibuting to you feeling lazy. Wouldn't it be great if you realized it was a nutrition problem, and not because it wasn't important enough to you?

MeowMix
10-12-2009, 05:13 PM
I agree with everyone about setting mini goals. They have helped me tremendously! When I would think I had 80+ pounds to lose, all it would make me want to do is lay in bed and cry.

So I set mini goals of 10 pounds. 10 pounds is great for me because I can say goodbye FOREVER to a weight decade. Right now you're at 172 about 3 pounds away from 169, make that your first goal and say goodbye forever to the 170's!

If 10 pounds is to big a mini goal make it 5 and celebrate being half way through a weight decade. I really do love leaving a weight decade!

yoovie
10-12-2009, 05:25 PM
Everytime I lose ten pounds I spend money on myself. But I always make sure I spend it on things that will help me lose another ten. Like new running shoes, hand weights, iTunes, workout clothes, etc

takarixvx
10-13-2009, 01:00 PM
Ugh Im so upset I woke up at 3 this morning extreamly sick. I was so excited to start being consistant and then this happened :(

kittycat40
10-13-2009, 01:07 PM
I felt very similar to the way you are feeling. Then I found the 5pound challenges in the challenge section of this forum. 5 pounds seemed so doable, way easier and realistic than the 40 that I ultimately lost.

fell better :)

takarixvx
10-16-2009, 02:20 PM
Thank you kittycat40. I'm feeling a lot better today but still not well enough to work out. Hopefully i can start up again on monday i really need to get on the ball.

double0bunny
10-16-2009, 03:37 PM
Thanks for posting this. I have been feeling the same way for a long time. Everyone's responses were very helpful for me.

Havisham
10-16-2009, 04:51 PM
Hey everyone so lately I've been feeling like I will never be able to lose weight. I really want to but I don't know I feel like there is something blocking me and I'm never consistant with my work outs or eating right.
I see all you wonder people on here losing so much weight and I think "Wow that's amazing but that will never happen to me ". I don't know if I just don't want it bad enough or what because when I look at myself I get depressed over my size and I want to do something about it but its like I rather just be sad and sit at home. Sometimes ill be in a great mood and want tp work out but lately I've been so lazy. Im not sure if this is making any sense but if any of you have some words or incouragment, tips, or anything that would be super helpful.
Thanks everyone :)

Hi, there,
I'm in your shoes - only they're a lot bigger! :) For years, I've put off really doing this...always with a good excuse - I'll do it when work settles down, I'll do it when my meds are stable, I'll do it when the kids don't need me so much.

Then I logged on here a couple of weeks ago and started off just reading. Then I found some posts I wanted to comment on. Now I'm a veritable forum fiend. And it's helped more than I could possibly have imagined.

I don't know my weight right now - because I haven't owned scales in years. Because I didn't want to know. But tomorrow I'm going out and I'm going to buy some good ones - ones I can rely on. And I'm going to start weighing myself. And I'm going to face the music on this.

I'm not going to tell myself (or any of you) that I'm going to stick rigidly to the diet or that I'm going to run every day. I know I won't and I don't want to set myself up to fail. I'm going to take one day at a time. I'm going to start with the diet - one day at a time. Once I've dropped ten or so pounds and I can feel the difference, then I'm going to ease in to an exercise program - swimming, yoga, whatever...slowly.

But I'm not going to beat myself up if I lose a day. Tomorrow is another one (any minute now I'm going to burst into an "Annie" song!), and I get to give it another shot. And I'm going to keep coming here and posting (sorry, guys! :)) and I'm going to be honest with myself .... one day at a time.

So...don't think you can't do this. Think, I can do tomorrow. Then when you go to bed tomorrow and you've done one, think, I can do it again tomorrow. And if you fall off for a day - so what, you've got more.

And you can do one day, right? If you can do one day, and I can do one day, then we're both off to a start. Feel free to PM me - we can sponsor each other....drag each other through this....but just for one day! :)

cwalker3
10-16-2009, 05:02 PM
The only way to truely see results is to stay consistent. If I were you I would post your workout and diet online daily so you can have accountability. Hang around other people that are losing weight or healthy. Join a gym to surround yourself with people trying to reach a goal.

takarixvx
10-17-2009, 02:28 PM
Havisham Thank you sooo much that really helped me a lot! Expect some pms from my in the near future hahah :).
Reading every ones responses also made me realize no one is stopping me from losing weight except myself. I'm my biggest enemy and I always try to justify my reasons for not working out or nothing eating rights. I'm going to try to practicing telling myself that I can do it and that I HAVE to do it. I started practicing that a little yesterday and it was kind of weird not punishing myself but holding myself accountable for things and not letting myself get away with eating too much.
Seriously thank you everyone who has responded you have all been a really big help. I also don't mind if the responses keep on coming :)!

Onederchic
10-17-2009, 02:34 PM
Havisham Thank you sooo much that really helped me a lot! Expect some pms from my in the near future hahah :).
Reading every ones responses also made me realize no one is stopping me from losing weight except myself. I'm my biggest enemy and I always try to justify my reasons for not working out or nothing eating rights. I'm going to try to practicing telling myself that I can do it and that I HAVE to do it. I started practicing that a little yesterday and it was kind of weird not punishing myself but holding myself accountable for things and not letting myself get away with eating too much.
Seriously thank you everyone who has responded you have all been a really big help. I also don't mind if the responses keep on coming :)!

Good for you! I had a tough time with that realization in the beginning too but once you get past it, you will see that YOU hold all the power for success :D. Good luck and keep us updated :hug:

giselley
10-17-2009, 02:48 PM
I hate to exersise too. I think the best exersise is to make a habit of having a "destination" to go to, for instance, the store. If you have a grocery store where you live, or some "destination" to walk to, the library? A park? then you will walk there and use up a lot of calories. Also, getting a dog, or voulenteering to walk someone's dog makes walking easier. Dog rescues or even the pound have voulenteers who walk dogs. Do you have an old lady with a dog nearby? Often they can't walk their own dogs. Other ways to make exersise more real to you would be to do "real" things that require strength. For instance, get a part time or tem job for the holiday season in which you are picking up a lot of boxes. A warehouse job is a good bet for a lot of good exersise. You can do vouleenteer work as well tht is physically demanding. This may sound silly, but I totally understand not going to the gym. I am unmotivated to do formal exersise, but I will do "real" physical exertion. Also, it is more fun to sign up for activity classes, like boxing, or martial arts. Much better than just doing reps on some machine. So if you can't exersise in the fake steril atmosphere of a gym, then go for real work.

Windchime
10-17-2009, 02:52 PM
I don't know my weight right now - because I haven't owned scales in years. Because I didn't want to know. But tomorrow I'm going out and I'm going to buy some good ones - ones I can rely on. And I'm going to start weighing myself. And I'm going to face the music on this.

I'm not going to tell myself (or any of you) that I'm going to stick rigidly to the diet or that I'm going to run every day. I know I won't and I don't want to set myself up to fail. I'm going to take one day at a time. I'm going to start with the diet - one day at a time. Once I've dropped ten or so pounds and I can feel the difference, then I'm going to ease in to an exercise program - swimming, yoga, whatever...slowly.

But I'm not going to beat myself up if I lose a day.

Havisham, I really had a hard time cutting down when I was quoting your post because it was all good; this is the stuff that really stood out to me, though.

People take different paths through all walks of life, including the weight-loss part. Your path sounds similar to my path. Some chicks are totally, 100% dedicated and their results sure show it--look at people like cfmama and Onderchick. RockinRobin and DCHound. Lori Bell. There are countless others--chicks who stick with it, day in and day out and they have amazing results.

Then there are chicks like me. Rosinante would probably call me a "plodder" and I would be OK with that! We are the chicks who do our best to make good decisions most of the time, but will occasionally have off-plan meals (or days). It has been a long time (months, really) since I've had a frenzied, free-for-all day but I have a scheduled fast-food meal every week and today I am going to lunch with my mom. I will try to make a decent choice, but I won't be having a dry salad and a piece of broiled chicken, either. I exercise regularly, but I don't beat myself up or call myself lazy if I miss a day or two.

Consistency IS the key, but there are different flavors of consistency, I guess is what I'm trying to say. For me, the keys are:

-Making good decisions 80-90% of the time
-Make a real effort to run or use the elliptical 3-4 times a week
-Make snacks count. No non-food snacks (donuts, candy)--snacks are things like fruit, cheese, etc.
-Don't use works like "hate", "disgusting", "failure" when I go off-plan or skip exercise. I'm not a disgusting failure, but I need to acknowledge that by going off plan, I am slowing down my rate of weight loss. And I'm OK with that.

Do things that you can do long-term. Because long-term is the key. What I'm doing now is what I will do until I'm unable to do them anymore due to old age or dementia. Because the alternative is to go back to feeling sad, unfit, and unhealthy and that's no longer good enough for me.

Havisham
10-17-2009, 04:17 PM
Thanks, windchime, it's good to know it made sense! :) I know if I set out rigidly I'm going to fail, and then I hate myself and start to wonder what the point is - which inevitably leads to a haagen dazs tub. :) For me I need to give myself some room to be human.

The first diet I did that really worked was the GI diet, written by a doctor and cardiologist. He recommends 'cheating' up to 10% of the time, as that's what being human is like. I'm not perfect, and I'm learning to be ok with that.

Tak, I meant it all very sincerely - this forum has given me the will to start doing something, and if I can return that support, I'm more than happy to. Feel free to pm and we can be each other's 'conscience'. :)