[rachiebach]

So basically I've fallen off the wagon and regained like 3 lbs. Why? Because I got all down and depressed about the fact that this guy I liked didn't like me back. The weird thing is, I'm 99% sure it's because of the way I look...like the fact that I'm fat is a large part of the reason I don't get dates. I always get passed over for the skinny girl next to me. And it makes me feel like crap. So then I binge? It makes ZERO sense!

The only one I'm hurting is myself and I have to learn how to stay strong and use these moments to motivate myself...not to let myself get discouraged. The question is, how do I do that? How do I stop myself from reaching for the Doritos? Any tips?

[HaleyisLove]

I think it is in your head... I would kill to weigh 155 but I dont consider myself the fat girl...and I get dates and I have guys that hit on me... Gain a little bit of confidence and you will see it work wonders

[girlonfire]

Hmmm, my first piece of advice would be stop thinking of yourself as fat. If you think of yourself as the fat girl, others will pick up on that You don't look fat from your picture and the fact that you've lost a good amount of weight is amazing!I agree with haleyislove, confidence really does work wonders. Don't assume it's because of how you look either. Stay strong!

[Feral]

I have to agree with Haley and Peachy. I know how hard it is though. When I was down to 150 years ago I still had this image in my head that I was 200 lbs. I remember going into a department store looking for something and had stopped to ask someone where the plus size department was. The girl looked at me in shock and said "baby, those clothes are too big for you." I don't think you ever completely get over the image in my head of me being bigger or that I didn't belong in those clothes.

This is what I can tell you... I have dated men who prefer a girl with a little meat on them. There is someone who will love you for exactly who you are and the size you are. My best friend LOVES a girl with a big ol' booty... His ex wife who was once like a size 4 and then fluxed between 12 and 16 KNEW he loved her regardless.. and he did.

I know exactly how you feel when sizing yourself up against the other girls in the room. Your major insecurity is your size. Did you ever stop to think that you really may have the best personality in the room or the prettiest face? Of course there is initial attraction, but a real man is looking for more than a pretty face... or a nice body because you aren't having a relationship strictly with the body, you have to put up with the person too.

I know many men that say they are attracted to SELF CONFIDENCE... when a woman walks into a room and knows who she is and what she wants... that can be sexier than any girl wearing a size 0 with DD cups. (Does that even exist? LOL)

Love yourself first, that shines brighter than anything else.

[beatific]

When I was 155 lbs and even up to 20 pounds heavier than that, I had all sorts of male attention. I wasn't even the most confident girl around, but still I had my share. It probably isn't your weight that turned the guy off, but even if it was, he isn't someone you want to waste your time, tears, or calories on.

[brooksrm]

I agree with everyone else. There are a few really shallow guys out there, too. I've been told "lose 15 lbs and then I'd even date you" by someone who I once thought of as a friend, and now that I've lost 15+ lbs from where I was then, I don't even give him the time of day. If your weight is the reason a guy's not interested, why bother with that guy?

[spikedpunch]

I'm right there with you. I've lost quite a bit of weight so far, and I still don't have any guys interested in me. So when one I like isn't into me, I figure that even if I'm skinny, I'll never be pretty enough, so I might as well just eat what I want because I'll never make up for my face. Then I feel even worse because I gain more weight.

You just have to get to the point where other people's opinions of you don't carry much weight any longer (no pun intended). Unfortunately I'm still on that road myself, so I'm not entirely sure how to get there myself. Confidence is a really difficult thing to develop.

[cormandy62442]

Confidence is the hardest thing to get, I watch friends that are bigger than me get all this male attention and I get none. I've been told my whole life that I'll get a boyfriend when I'm skinny, and it's stuck with me that I don't deserve one as a 'fat girl'. Now I'm self conscious and I have a low opinion of myself. Guys can see that apparently. I haven't lost much weight yet, but I'm hoping to work on the self confidence thing and hopefully it won't be an issue when I'm down to my goal weight.