Weight Loss Support - "You look perfect! No more, OK?"




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Cali Doll
10-11-2009, 01:51 PM
That's what someone said to me last night. I still have 13 pounds (well, now 14 as of this morning - I hate you, scale!) to lose.

I told her that I've got 13 more pounds to lose and that I'm far from perfect. My waist is still not as small as I want. There is still some unwanted fat and dimples etc on my body. I certainly don't look "perfect" in my bikini!

After I lose the 13 pounds, I plan on focusing on toning my body. Ideally the 13 pounds would come from my waist (and boobs, hello?) but who knows!

Anyway, the point of this thread is to address a concern I have that I don't have a realistic view of myself. I worry that I am (or will become) one of those ladies that keeps losing even though they are horribly skinny. Like, what if I really am at a good spot for my body but I can't see it and I keep losing to the point of looking sickly...? (Yeah, I have an obsessive personality so I obsessively worry about things...)

Oh, I wore size 10 jeans last night and got lots of compliments! :D I was told my butt looked great! :carrot: (Sorry, but I'm a butt girl so that means a lot) :D:D


smisen
10-11-2009, 02:49 PM
I know what you mean - sometimes I feel like my goal is totally arbitrary. I haven't been remotely near that weight since about middle school, so I don't really know if it's going to be right for me or not.

However, I'm guessing that my body will tell me what's right for me when I get closer. Like if it gets too hard to lose weight at a certain point or if I start to feel hungry or weak all the time, then I'll stop. Or, if I hit my goal and I still don't feel like I'm there yet, I'll keep going until it feels right. We'll see though!

TheBunneh
10-11-2009, 02:59 PM
I'm not close to my goal weight, so I can't relate from personal experience. But I've read/heard a lot of people whose views I respect very much say that once you get to around 10 pounds of your goal weight the scale should be abandoned and all you should worry about is inches and the way your clothes fit. At that point fitness and body fat % should be the main focus because there is no set weight that equals perfection, and weight fluctuates so much anyway for reasons other than body fat.

But I know how much the number on the scale can mean, and personally I don't think there is anything wrong about wanting to see that number. I know that I won't feel I'm "done" until I see the scale read 150! I know it's always gonna go up and down a few pounds, but I just want the scale to tell me I got there at least one time.

And congrats on getting into a size 10!! That's awesome!


DCHound
10-11-2009, 03:04 PM
Just curious as to why you're waiting to hit goal to start toning? If you start lifting weights now it may impact what the scale says, but it does take a while to build muscle. Muscle sculpts your body and also more muscle = higher metabolism = calories get burned faster. :)

yoovie
10-11-2009, 03:24 PM
I agree with DCHound- Since you only have 13 left to lose, I would switch my obsession NOW to toning and sculpting instead of weight. Instead of clinging to the gratification of dropping numbers, get excited about shaping what you have left and as the last few lbs whittle away, imagine the shape that will be showing through. Toning and strength training help you lose weight as well, so you dont have to sacrifice one for the other, they go hand in hand, you know that.

If I would have never added toning and weight/strength training to my regimen, I would never have broken through my 40lb plateau. And now I'm more obsessed with what my arms and abs and thighs,etc are going to look like once all this fat melts away. And toning is an obsession that wont land you in the doctor's office for being too far underweight. On the contrary, it will help an ailing body image :)

tiffany0809
10-11-2009, 03:31 PM
(Sorry, but I'm a butt girl so that means a lot) :D:D

LOL so am I!!!! :lol: Everyone tells me I have a great butt so it's important for me to work on it.
I'm still 5-10 lbs away from my goal weight, but I haven't been able to lose anything significant in months. I still see myself as needing to lose those 5-10 lbs (minimum) even though everyone else says I look "fine." I think to myself, I don't want to look FINE, I want to look SKINNY!!! And I worry that my goals are totally unrealistic. I used to be 120-125 lbs, but I practically had an eating disorder. I KNOW that weight isn't realistic but it's in my head that if I'm heavier than that, I'm not skinny and I don't look good. I hope I don't end up missing out on "the best years of my life" (I'm in my late 20s) because I have this unrealistic goal and I'm always striving for something better. I already look back at my 120 lb years and regret that I didn't appreciate it when I had it.
Along with my weight loss, something else I need to work on is appreciating LIFE and realizing that it's not about how I look but what I make of the world around me and the people I care about.

Cali Doll
10-11-2009, 07:03 PM
Thanks everyone!!

Just an FYI - I am toning now (I did 30 Day Shred and I'm now doing No More Trouble Zones). I lift weights regularly.

What I meant is that I'm going to focus solely on toning once I hit goal (instead of weight loss and toning).

Cali Doll
10-11-2009, 07:08 PM
LOL so am I!!!! :lol: Everyone tells me I have a great butt so it's important for me to work on it.



Keep up the good work! :D A great butt is so important. I get a little thrill at checking out my butt every so often. LOL!


I'm still 5-10 lbs away from my goal weight, but I haven't been able to lose anything significant in months. I still see myself as needing to lose those 5-10 lbs (minimum) even though everyone else says I look "fine." I think to myself, I don't want to look FINE, I want to look SKINNY!!!

Oh I understand. The word "perfect" really threw me. Who's idea of perfection are we talking about here? LOL!

Cali Doll
10-11-2009, 07:10 PM
I'm not close to my goal weight, so I can't relate from personal experience. But I've read/heard a lot of people whose views I respect very much say that once you get to around 10 pounds of your goal weight the scale should be abandoned and all you should worry about is inches and the way your clothes fit.


I wonder...I wonder if I could *actually* do this. Man, it would be so great to not worry about pounds anymore. Thanks for the tip! I might make this a personal goal.


And congrats on getting into a size 10!! That's awesome!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

ringmaster
10-12-2009, 12:15 AM
Most of those people that say we've lose enough, are getting too skinny, we don't need to lose anymore, etc... Usually just see us clothed, so only we can be the judge seeing ourselves without clothing if we have any extra fat to still lose.

I think it's a good idea to get to goal and then to start building serious muscle since when you are going under your calorie maintenance it's hard to build muscle. You do need to eat a bit more to build muscle.

Cali Doll
10-12-2009, 02:57 AM
Most of those people that say we've lose enough, are getting too skinny, we don't need to lose anymore, etc... Usually just see us clothed, so only we can be the judge seeing ourselves without clothing if we have any extra fat to still lose.

Excellent point! Very true.

Stella
10-12-2009, 03:23 AM
I guess from your height and weight that you look similar to be, and although I feel a lot happier with myself than I did 6 months ago I also still want to lose the rest.

I`m not however sure whether I want to go as low as I initially intended. Maybe 10 more lb will do, not 20.

When I set a goal weight I also set a goal size, but I think I may reach this quicker than the goal weight. And I`m not going to (again!) slim down to a size I cannot maintain.

VernDern
10-12-2009, 03:40 AM
I would stick with your own judgement. You arnt underweight or unhealthy so its up to you! The important thing is that youre happy with you! =) Good luck!

MindiV
10-12-2009, 09:10 AM
Definitely use your own judgement. When you're taller, you can LOOK thinner than you actually are, and sometimes that worries people. I'm 5 feet, 8.5 inches tall and weigh 140-145 pounds. I get told ALL the time that I should STOP LOSING WEIGHT. Only problem is that I did...1 1/2 years ago. Haven't lost a pound since then, but people are having fits on me about my weight NOW. They don't believe I weigh 140...they think it's more like 110 or 120, max. I even had my husband's best friend try to force chicken enchiladas on me at his house over the weekend, telling me I look sick and need to gain weight. That'll make you feel GREAT, believe me. (Yes, that was sarcasm...I still feel bad because of that comment) .

If YOU think you're too thin, it's time to stop. Just assess yourself and go from there...

losermom
10-12-2009, 10:45 AM
I've been getting these types of comments for the last 3-4 months. Over that same period of time, I've lost 2 sizes and roughly 12 lbs. I'd like to lose another 5, but if I don't that's fine. I'm letting my body decide and then I will determine a red line and range of 3-4 lbs for maintenance. I too don't want to be too skinny and have a difficult time maintaining. Currently, I'm a size 8 or 10.

BillBlueEyes
10-12-2009, 11:24 AM
Late for the party here, but had to respond. After I'd lost a chunk and wasn't clear myself where my body would settle into a set point, I got a bunch of those, "You've lost enough now, you're looking too thin." I just responded with a confident voice, "All done," and they'd be happy. Only me and my scale knew what the readings were.

I agree with the comments that the concern expressed was their attempt to adjust to a new vision of me. I didn't experience people coming back multiple times.

.

Annita
10-12-2009, 11:33 AM
well, focusing on toning your body is great. Ideally the weight would come off ... or may even gain a few but you'll look thinner so that doesnt matter. Actually when you're on a period of toning then weight probably isn't a concern much more, does it?
Some people does tell me to stop losing weight. But I haven't been losing anything at all. I am still staying at 55kg for like 8 months now. But i do exercise to tone up and that makes me looks thinner (my clothes said it all) - but my weight doesn't change - none, na da, zip, zero!
So if you think you want to tone up - totally go with it.
But if you're focusing on the number on the scale - you might want to reconsider it because it might be that you have few extra lbs left that needed to be shred - or it might be that you're forcing your body in a not very good way - if you understand what i mean >"<

Good luck.
Ah i always cheer up for anyone who wants to tone up ^-^ I'm in a same boat so yah !

losermom
10-12-2009, 11:34 AM
Yes, just yesterday my neighbor told me that I shouldn't lose any more. I responded with, "I think I'm done." She was relieved and said so. I think that that will be my new pat response. They have no idea what my scale says--that's between the random number generator and me!

Cali Doll
10-12-2009, 03:50 PM
"I think I'm done" is a wonderful reply. :D

Thanks everybody for your thoughts!