I made a topic here the other day asking for advice about a guy I had been texing for about 4 months and he wanted to talk on the phone and I was too nervous to talk to him so I ended up telling him it was hard for me and it would be better if he just looked for someone els....well he told me he understood and he was going to basicaly wait til I was ready he said he didn't wana stop texing yadda yadda yadda I felt bad told him I'd try again today and his exact words were "id love that baby! I really would" I been anxious waiting all day and he just stood me up just like that....after everythn he said why can't they just be honest? I'm a good hardworking single woman with no kids (not sayn kids are bad I love them) why can't I find a good guy? where have they all gone? maybe I have a stamp on my head that says use me I'm really bummed thank goodness I've been losing weight otherwise I'd be a wreck!
This guy may not be the guy for you after he stood you up like that. However I would at least ask him why he did that and then decide if he is a keeper or not. You said yourself, you are a good hardworking woman, therefore you deserve a guy who keeps his promises and supports you. You'll find the right one, it just takes time.
dear cherry, why should you make general conclusions based on one man who turned out less brave then you hoped? it's his loss any way. try and be sad only because of what happened today and not think negative about your whole life, please! it will make you feel depressed (been there so many times over love), which is such a waste.
many relationships need to fail in order for us to find that one, one man (not all, but one) who we can have a meaningful relationship with.
and the one will come one day, don't you worry. if you feel sad or even bitter, thinking nobody can love you, it will only make it harder for you to see all those good guys around you just waiting to be noticed. and no sms-guy is worth that, that's how i see it.
and - congratulations on your weight loss so far, you did the best thing possible for yourself and your health, that alone is a reason to be proud of yourself!
good luck and pick your head up high!
Do you mean by 'stood up' that he didn't call? Are you certain he didn't think you were going to call him? Because you say that you said you'd 'try again', maybe he interpreted that to be that you'd call him?
May be completely wrong, but he definitely sounds in to you, so don't right him off just yet, until you know whats up.
If you guys are just texting and you can hardly make a phone call, you can't start dating. I'm sorry to say this, and I know that you have a real crippling disability because of your shyness, but it sets you up so that the moment a guy pays attention to you, you get your hopes up and start feeling committed. I mean, you feel stood up because he didn't text you? I know it feels like a very important thing to you, but most people will agree that this is no real foundation for a good relationship.
We can't just fall for every guy that comes along, or we end up used and heartbroken, and that's partially OUR fault for not being critical. And that is such an awful feeing ;
Take care of number 1, cherry. For the sake of enjoying the rest of your life, you need to find some kind of outlet or therapy for this shyness. When you feel more comfortable enough with who you are as a person, when you can express and speak your mind (especially when a 'stop' or 'no' real-life and in-person situation comes up, because I don't get the impression you're ready for it now) THEN you can start dating and be ready to sort through all the riff raff out there.
You mentioned "Thank Goodness you've been losing weight", but the reason I emphasize your shyness is because it's probably a root cause of a lot of life's problems, and your weight is probably just a symptom. Eliminate the cause to remove the symptom Otherwise you'll still be unhappy when you're thinner.
Do you mean by 'stood up' that he didn't call? Are you certain he didn't think you were going to call him? Because you say that you said you'd 'try again', maybe he interpreted that to be that you'd call him?
May be completely wrong, but he definitely sounds in to you, so don't right him off just yet, until you know whats up.
I agree with what everyone said... but also look at it this way. If he really did stand you up, you have a nice check list of things you DON'T want in a partner. You never really realize what you are and are not willing to put up with until you're faced with it (let's be honest here, we've all said "I would never put up with fill in blank " and have and have probably surprised ourselves with things we put our foot down on). Take it as a life lesson and move on.
And I have to agree with what Souvenir said... focus on you. Everything else will fall into place!
Sweetie, somewhere there is a really nice guy, right now he is saying " Where are all the nice girls ?" Be patient, work on improving yourself , as you are doing. Coming here and sharing and being open is a step in the right direction. Do you have any hobbies ? Do you like to read ? Maybe you could join a book club, yes guys do belong to book clubs. How about church ? Do you go to church, many churches have single groups where you have activities and meet other singles. You just need a little practice meeting other people and not everybody wants a friend who talks all the time. Somewhere there is someone who will appreciate you for who you are, be patient.
At least you found out he was a flake NOW as opposed to later. Consider yourself blessed for the information and move forward--clearing the path to the life you want.
Don't look for any guys. Just do your thing and keep working on yourself. Get yourself out there doing the things you love and do what YOUR about. The right guy will be along THAT path when you are both ready.
You know, I have to say. I think this advice works for not only finding a guy, but for even for forming new friendships.
Last edited by Thighs Be Gone; 10-10-2009 at 12:12 PM.
Thank you everyone who answered when I said he stood me up I did mean he didn't call me. I didn't know if I shouldve called so I waited and waited and nothn he usualy texts me everyday to say good morning and through out the day to say he's thinkn about me ect.... then at night after work (going on 4 months of that everyday) and for some reason last night he didn't and I was really hurt, once my life breaks out of routine I freak out and I was mad I felt used and like a fool for thinkn that was actualy a relationship. I didn't plan any of this I WAS doing me tryn to figure me out and he came along and I thought it doesn't hurt to have friends. I told him it wasn't going any further than texting him and he respected that until he got impatient and wanted more. I basicaly told him in my "last text" that I'm a decent hard working woman and I don't deserve to be stood up like that and I wish him all the best....he left me a msg sayn I wrecked his life and I was his everythn and now he has nothn and a voicemail sayn he's sorry about everything and he wants to work this out. I'm really sorry if this annoys anyone I'm just lookn for advice...more heads are better than one.....thank you everyone u really make me see the situation from diffrent points of view
From what you've said, I think it would have been perfectly reasonable for him to have expected you to call. In which case, the guy may be sitting at home thinking you stood him up!
He usualy contacts me after work so I don't like to be a bother :/ I wouldn't wana call and he's workn....i don't think he's married at 18 that would just make me change my number! Oh and I do have hobbies like reading and "playn guitar" (if u could call it that lol) I mostly concentrate on my dieting and work since I have 3 jobs its hard doing anythn else.... I haven't been to church since god knows when thanx for asking
Another off subject topic....He stood me up :(
why can't they just be honest? I'm a good hardworking single woman with no kids (not sayn kids are bad I love them) why can't I find a good guy? where have they all gone? maybe I have a stamp on my head that says use me 
it will make you feel depressed (been there so many times over love), which is such a waste. 
Otherwise you'll still be unhappy when you're thinner. 
Oh and I do have hobbies like reading and "playn guitar" (if u could call it that lol) I mostly concentrate on my dieting and work since I have 3 jobs its hard doing anythn else.... I haven't been to church since god knows when 