duqserb
10-09-2009, 11:55 PM
Tonight's just been a bad..bad...bad night. And I already had one bad night this week which was Wednesday. Sure I was stressed out when I came home today after working on a presentation for 5 hours but jesus....I just kept on eating and eating..literally not thinking about it. I didn't even have the "I just don't give a crap" thoughts...just numbness. September was such a good month. Lost a couple pounds ect. And I thought I was going to keep going with it because my best friend's wedding is November 7 and her bachelorette party is on halloween. I was planning on probably wearing a semi-skimpy costume but now I'm not so sure. I just want this to end...the never ending cycle. Ever since I started educating myself about what I SHOULD be eating and how many calories and grams of fat are in things I SHOULD'NT be eating...it's only made it worse. I never gave anyting a second thought when I was younger. I ate till I was full, never had an urge to go back time and time and time again till I couldn't breathe. I was happy...I never gave it a second thought. Now I give everything a second, third, and fourth thought and I do good for a few weeks then I do bad for a few weeks and it just continues on and on and on. I'm so TIRED of THINKING about it! ugh what a night :(
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