100 lb. Club - Letting myself go

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10-06-2009, 11:51 AM
I have always been a very "princess-y" girl. Up until a little over a year ago, I would never go out without straightening my hair, putting on makeup, a nice coordinated outfit, jewelry, lipstick, etc. But since I have gotten to be such a high weight, I just don't care anymore. I go for jeans and big bulky sweaters. I rarely bother with makeup (because who cares? All anyone notices is how fat I am anyway), most of the time I pull my still-wet hair back into a nasty little bun (my hair is only chin length, so I do this with the top of my hair). It is a very very rare occasion when I will put any thought into what I wear or any effort.

Is this because I am getting older, or is it because of the weight gain? I feel down on myself, and I feel like no matter what I wear, I still won't feel good. I used to be a shopaholic, but now I don't even care about that anymore. I still like spending money, but I will spend it on treats for my dogs, or books, or knitting yarn, but don't care anymore about shopping for anything wearable.

Anyone else relate?

10-06-2009, 12:20 PM
I am in the same boat with you 100%! Even on what we spend our money on now! Everything you said in your post I can relate to 100%! It's horrible..I even avoid going to my hometown because I don't want people to see what I've become..I used to be the tiny girl with awesome style..now I'm the chubby girl in the out of style clothes with her wet hair hangin' in her face..ew! I don't even feel like myself anymore..but, I want her back..I'm too young to feel this frumpy!!! These are supposed to be the hot years..and they will be!!!

10-06-2009, 12:50 PM
Oh yeah... the more and more weight I lose, the more I'm starting to pull out stuff that I hadn't worn in a long, long time... i.e. the pretty stuff!! It's definitely the weight...

10-06-2009, 01:00 PM
I'll repeat something you've heard in some form or another a dozen times - confidence is the most attractive thing about a person.

I used to go out with one of my friends all the time (early 20's). I weighed 190, she weighed 280. We both put ourselves together well, knew we looked good, and I don't remember ever having to buy a drink or breakfast. And I spent most of the night on the dance floor. A lot of "thin chicks" were standing on the sidelines wondering what we had.

Oh - and my friend? The one who outweighed me by almost 100 pounds? She always got 10 times the attention / compliments I did! She is the most confident person I know. And really scary now that she's lost 120 lbs . . .

10-06-2009, 01:13 PM
It's funny, but when I finally decided to lose weight, it was a few months after I decided I couldn't stand to be so frumpy and sloppy anymore. I got some new clothes, I got my hair cut, started wearing some makeup. For me at least, taking a little pride in my appearance came before weight loss, not after.

10-06-2009, 02:35 PM
Taking pride in my appearance came QUICKLY after deciding to lose weight... and I'm not sure if it's an age thing (I'm 33!!!) but more of a confidence thing. I am LOVING living right now and I want my OUTSIDE to express my confidence and joy as well!

10-06-2009, 02:40 PM
At my highest weight (and lowest point self-esteem-wise), I was much like you. I would wear the same jeans every day with a t-shirt and a zip up sweatshirt. I stopped wearing makeup and barely did anything to my hair. For me, I felt like if I made an effort it was just putting lipstick on a pig (I hate that phrase, but that's how it felt). Once the weight started coming off, I finally started to feel pretty again and making the effort to dress better and put on makeup didn't feel so pointless anymore.

10-06-2009, 03:06 PM
For me it was definitely the weight, not the age. I loved clothes when I was young, but as I gained weight I found myself living in sweats. I always did my hair and makeup if I was leaving the house, but if I was at home it didn't matter. As soon as I started losing the weight I fell in love with shopping again. I had forgotten about the girl who loved to look pretty. I'm 45 and I'm having so much fun with clothes now. I even get compliments from young friends in their 20's on my style. I get such a kick out of that, they don't realize that I've lost so much weight in the last couple of years. I wish that I had cared enough about myself to take better care of my body and mind sooner. For me the way I looked on the outside reflected how I felt on the inside.

10-06-2009, 03:18 PM
I realized a few days ago, when I needed to do some yardwork...I don't OWN any sweatpants that fit. None. When I was super morbidly obese, all I EVER wore, summer or winter, were sweatpants. Now I don't own any. I used to pull my hair back in a ponytail, t-shirt (hot weather) or sweatshirt (cold weather), ratty sweatpants, tennis shoes. Every day, day in, day out. Now I look pulled together all the time...I had forgotten what it was like to be a clothes horse but now that I can fit back into virtually all my old stuff, I am a 100% clothes horse. It's good.

Lori Bell
10-06-2009, 03:25 PM
I never left the house without my hair and make-up done even when I was morbidly obese. My solution? Never leave the house. It was bad, I'd go days without getting in the car. DAYS. It bothers me to think about how I let myself go. It's sad when we don't care anymore.

The great news is, you can turn it all around if you want. The other day we were at a HS football game and a friend said to me, "Why do you always fix up so nice for football games?" I said, "Because I WANT to!" :) Ever hear that expression, "don't outshine the Bride"? I say to **** with that. I'll outshine the sun if I can! ;)

Alana in Canada
10-06-2009, 03:56 PM
I have never been one to fuss about my apprearence, but even so, there is a noticeable difference between when I take care of myself and when I don't.

My weight piled on and I let go of even the minimums for the same reasons: stress and depression.

It sounds like you may be depressed. The good thing about that is that if you start looking after yourself, the good feelings will come.

If they don't, though, you need to see a professional. But I bet you will feel better--much much better!

10-06-2009, 05:59 PM
Thank you everyone!

And Alana, yes, I have always had problems with depression and low self-esteem. In fact, it was medication for depression that started this whole weight gain thing. I am on Effexor (and have been for about 7 years!) but I don't really feel like it works. I am going to see the psychiatrist at school tomorrow morning!

It scares me how much I just don't care anymore. I actually did my hair and makeup the other day when I went to church, and people kept going on and on about how good I looked. It made me sad, because I used to look like that every day.

I think it's that feeling of having given up. I catch glimpses of myself lately and I feel sick.

I hope I will gain back some self-esteem with my lifestyle changes.

10-06-2009, 06:04 PM
I'm never very princess-y. ;)

10-06-2009, 06:09 PM
Hahaha. You should try it. Give yourself a man-icure. :D

10-06-2009, 06:53 PM
I hear you. I just turned 21 and for the past two years I swear nothing but pj pants, sweat pants, and crappy t-shirts. No make up, don't do my hair. Nothing. I feel so blah. I am married, and I feel bad for my DH. I am sure I cannot be that attractive like this. I think its from my depression. I am hoping that loosing weight will make me want to look nice again, but for now..I just don't care. :(

10-06-2009, 07:14 PM
Oh honey I've been there, actually a while ago I could have written your post.

It's definitely depression but I can assure you it will pass. Your self esteem will snowball as you take control of your life and lose the weight. It actually happens pretty quickly and exercise (endorphins) makes it an even quicker process if you are so inclined right now.

The last thing I wanted to do when I was in that place was exercise but it was what I needed in a very severe way and when I finally started - only walking 20-30 min a day, everything changed for the better.

MAKE yourself get out of the house.. just do it. Just decide now that you will and get a walking outfit together now and get out first thing in the AM before you do anything else. :dust:

If you have to, set the alarm 30 minutes earlier.
I guarantee that in 3-4 days you will feel yourself coming out of your funk. I guarantee it.

10-08-2009, 11:23 AM
[QUOTE=matt_H;2959178]I'm never very princess-y. ;)[/QUOTE
Maybe not, but very handsome and that counts!

10-08-2009, 11:27 AM
I realized a few days ago, when I needed to do some yardwork...I don't OWN any sweatpants that fit. None. When I was super morbidly obese, all I EVER wore, summer or winter, were sweatpants. Now I don't own any. I used to pull my hair back in a ponytail, t-shirt (hot weather) or sweatshirt (cold weather), ratty sweatpants, tennis shoes. Every day, day in, day out. Now I look pulled together all the time...I had forgotten what it was like to be a clothes horse but now that I can fit back into virtually all my old stuff, I am a 100% clothes horse. It's good.
I realized the same thing a few days ago. The weather has turned unseasonably cold and rainy. I have nothing to wear, no sweats, sweaters, jacket, even pants for work, mostly this summer I lived in skirts and capris.
I work with my Mom, and Monday moring she asked please never to wear those baggy pants to work again!
My advice PinkFlamingo is to fake it! Buy some nail polish, or body butter (I go to Dollar Tree once a week for one of these treats), and if you have no confidence, just act like you do. We are so cruel to ourselves, you can do this!
I used to use my kids as an excuse not to spend money on myself. That was a bunch of bs.

10-08-2009, 11:32 AM
Matt, you made me laugh :)

I think it's absolutely a weight thing. You get to a certain point and think you look SO BAD (so fat) that nothing you do will make you look nice anyway. I remember having to go to an event at 280 pounds, putting on a "nice" dress, jewely, makeup, doing my hair and looking in the mirror being appalled at how I looked. It's hard to put forth the effort for THAT.

It's about confidence, self image, etc and for me, when I am eating healthy and caring for myself I look in the mirror and I look beautiful even without makeup. I was never one to go around in sweats, though... but the stretch pants took hold for awhile. I wear (nice) jeans and (nice) t shirts a lot with minimal makeup but I think I look great now!

10-09-2009, 10:33 AM
:-( I think my sister could relate to you, or maybe, you are her having found this forum.

I can second all which was already said about confidence. I don`t know how you feel, but my sister says that, although she does not bother any more, at the same time, she craves being the glamorous woman she once was.

Being large does not however mean that you cannot be glamorous. You may need to adapt your wardrobe, but you do not need to forego your beauty treats and grooming. In fact, I feel that people are more forgiving about a higher weight when the person looks that she takes care of herself, e.g. is not just "lazy". And I`m sure you`ll feel better about yourself, too.

Personally, I was never into that very high maintenance look, but if I`m a bit larger, I at least want to look my best.