100 lb. Club - Shopping anxiety
10-05-2009, 10:53 AM
I have a mixed NSV. Friday, I went shopping for pants. Mine are very baggy and it is time to downsize the pants. I went to my "go to" store, Hamricks. As I am short, I have always had difficulty finding pants that fit well but they have a line of pants that have worked pretty well. Until now that is, Friday, all the "petite" pants in the plus sizes were too big! My great NSV!
With great trepidation, I went to the "regular" department. I was very uncomfortable, waiting for someone to chase me out. No one kicked me out and I sneaked a few pairs out to try on but none fit even close to right.
I decided to try Kohl's. Same story.
I went to Lane Bryant's because I knew that they would measure and fit me. The lady took my measurements, grabbed some pants and pointed me to the fitting room. They didn't fit. She kept bringing me pants but they didn't fit. With some the waist would fit but the seat would be baggy or the waist would come up to my breast or ........ various things. She suggested that I have a $60 pair of pants tailored but that is out of the question.
I think that my weight loss has been uneven and my dimensions are out of proportion for the short term. Does that sound possible? I have decided to just keep wearing my current baggy pants until I have lost a few more pounds. :( Maybe then I can find some that fit but, to be honest, I don't know how to shop any more. I am in totally unfamiliar territory and am just lost.
I called my daughter and the next time she comes to visit we are going to go shopping. She is going to be in charge and lead me though the jungle of shopping for non-plus size pants. Or maybe I will end up in a different brand of plus size. What a role reversal! The only problem is that we probably won't get together until Thanksgiving. I don't think that pants can wait that long!
10-05-2009, 11:04 AM
It gave me a bit of chuckle about waiting to get kicked out of the "regular" section lol I had the same feeling. I kept looking like someone is gonna be like -- what is SHE doing here!!
Hopefully you can find some jeans to fit you! It's always tough to find new jeans but it's for a good thing this time!
10-05-2009, 11:30 AM
I just went shopping the other day and totally understand the anxiety issue. I've been delaying my shopping trip just cuz I was afraid I won't fit into some of the sizes. I am short as well and for the record, I can never find stuff that fit me right at Penney's, kohls, Macys etc (at least not for the most part). The petite is not the "right" petite, if it makes any sense. I have to go to branded stores in order for me to find stuff that fit me right. I may pay a little more but then again, for me, it's a matter of less hassle and finding stuff I know will fit me right. I like Gap as I know their ankle size (short) fits me right where it should. I also like NY&Co and Petite Sophisticate to name a few stores. I don't buy a whole lot but enough to get me by. If you have some of these stores close to you it might be worth trying them out :).
Another option is, do you know anyone who sews? One of my friend's mom refitted some of my shirts for work and it bought me few more months. Or maybe find a tailor and get your pants fitted if it is inexpensive.
10-05-2009, 11:38 AM
When I got down to 214, I was so excited to be out of the PLUS section and could shop in normal clothing. I went to Penneys one day and I remember feeling so totally overwhelmed. I walked and walked through what seemed like acres of clothing. I had no idea where to even begin to pick out clothing. I was actually in tears and left with nothing.
So yeah, I get it. In fact I regained some weight because, I think subconsciously it was easier for me than coping with that kind of thing. But I am ok with it now. Just take your time and try things on and do what you gotta. And remember it will be easier getting smaller than getting bigger again :)
10-05-2009, 11:51 AM
I've been out of plus sizes for 2 years and I still have a fear of going into stores and shopping. I went with my friend into Charlotte Russe and New York & Co (I like their clothes but I've only ordered them online). I bought clothes that fit at both places but I was still scared that they would chase me out. Since she is small, I felt a bit safer but still.
10-05-2009, 11:58 AM
Have you tried a second hand store like goodwill or local consignment stores? Sometimes they have jeans that have Sisterhood-of-the-travelling-pants syndrome that will fit better than brand new pants. I'd say give it a try! Plus, you'd be getting them for a much cheaper price :)
10-05-2009, 12:39 PM
LOL! I too enjoyed the "Getting kicked out" part of the story.
Might I suggest JCPenny's? I've had luck there.
Congrats on your NSV!
10-05-2009, 01:14 PM
Oh yes, I know what you mean! Especially the bit about being chased out of the place!
But I know my body's changing and you know what? I deserve to look good, and owe it to myself to look my best. So a few weeks ago I emailed a friend who's very stylish and "booked" her for a shopping session. We went last Thursday afternoon and I spend an obscene amount of money on clothes that I would not have dared look at in stores I would have scuttled past on my way to somewhere else.
Having her there to (help) pick out stuff for me and to give an honest opinion on an outfit was so invaluable. On top of all that, because we don't see each other very often, it was a great chance to catch up (we went for coffee beforehand).
Long story short: there IS stuff out there that you look fabulous in! Don't be afraid to ask the store assistants for help or suggestions, even though they sport fangs dripping with the blood of people too fat to walk through ;) in reality, it's their job to make sure the customer looks good and is happy with their purchase. They have a vested interest in making sure you look brilliant - as do you.
10-05-2009, 01:51 PM
I think it is absolutely possible to be "between" sizes. I'm having just that problem with bras. Honestly I'm almost glad to have gained some weight back because it means that one of my bras actually fits. 34D is too big in the band and a teeny bit too big in the cup. 34C is just right in the band, too small in the cup. I'd try a 32D but haven't found one in stores. Even the Victoria's Secret people, who've measured me and tried to fit me, are a little baffled.
So, yeah, wait a few more pounds, or see if you can find something at a thrift store and get it altered to tide you over. It'll even out soon enough. I hope so for my sake as well! :o)
10-05-2009, 02:29 PM
I remember feeling very uncomfortable shopping in the regular sizes the first few times. I felt like everyone was staring at me (they weren't, it was just my imagination) ;) I was sure they would send me back to the plus size department. It didn't take long before I felt fine shopping in regular sizes. Now my closet is bursting. I told the husband we need a walk-in closet, our regular closet is just too small!
Don't worry about not finding something to fit this time. In a couple of weeks try again and you will have shrunk a little more and will more than likely find something that fits great. I had to switch to a different brand of jeans because my body shape changed. It was frustrating at first because I had to try on a huge stack of different brands to find a good fit. Same with bras.
10-05-2009, 06:27 PM
I don't think you're weird or out of proportion. Even when I was much much slimmer and between plus and regular sizes, I have a terrible time finding jeans. They're either too small in the waist and fit everywhere else or they fit in the waist and baggy everywhere else. I highly recommend checking out junior plus of some kind (even if you're not a junior...it's going to be cut a little slimmer) for pants at a place like Torrid (I've mentioned that store on this site before...check out the website at www.torrid.com) They are the only place I can buy jeans...no matter what size I am. They go down to a size 12 and have many different styles for different body types. Another place I have luck when I'm inbetween plus and regular is Express. It's been a long time since I've shopped there...but last I did they had up to a size 14 in jeans and they're cut a little slimmer. Their denim is a good quality, too. Lastly, Check out 7 for all mankind jeans. They sell them at Lane Bryant but they are not Lane Bryant brand. (I freaking HATE lane bryant jeans!) If you need something smaller then check them out online. I'm a little big for them right now, but I know that the style is really flattering for us girls with smaller butts/thighs...lol. Check it out! I hope that helps!
I do know, though...that you should feel amazing about getting down to regular sizes and certainly not feel badly about being there! Rock it and find yourself a pair of awesome, sexy jeans!
10-05-2009, 07:25 PM
Honestly, when I was around a size 14-16 good ol levi's did the trick. And Gap jeans too. And, you can get them on ebay, with the already been broken in feel to them (and soemtimes already hemmed up for the shortties!)
10-05-2009, 08:16 PM
Oh I understand you completely.
I definitely felt like an intruder when I first hit the "regular-sized" stores. I felt like an intruder and like they were going to "find me out". They were going to send me back to where I "belonged". In fact for a while there, I wasn't sure where the heck I belonged. Like h8cake says, luckily that won't last very long. Before you know it you'll find your niche. And you'll be filling up every square inch of extra space with your newly expanding wardrobe. :)
10-05-2009, 08:34 PM
I say take any words Robin gives to heart and as gold, she knows her stuff.
10-06-2009, 12:16 AM
I wrote a post almost EXACTLY like this just a bit ago about being chased out! lol!!! Give it time... your body IS changing. Maybe some yoga pants for now? Or a nice Levi with some STRETCH. I know you'll be able to find something :)
10-06-2009, 01:21 AM
34D is too big in the band and a teeny bit too big in the cup. 34C is just right in the band, too small in the cup. I'd try a 32D
I would try on some different styles of 34D and 34C. I know that I can now wear a 36F in some styles, but in others I cannot stuff the girls into that size cup no matter what. So if you haven't already, I would try a few other styles.
But--I do agree with you. It's very possible to be between sizes. I went through that when I left Plus sizes. Regular 18's looked like they were painted on, but 18W and 16W were too baggy. I just had to keep wearing the baggy stuff till I could finally fit comfortably in the regular sizes.
10-06-2009, 01:35 AM
I think that my weight loss has been uneven and my dimensions are out of proportion for the short term. Does that sound possible?
Maybe, but I think the problem is that most clothes just aren't good enough. One of the good things from the show "What Not To Wear" is their advice that it's not that your body doesn't fit the clothes, it's that the clothes aren't cut good enough to fit your body.
Of course, that doesn't make it easier. But I really like the attitude/expectation that it's the clothes' job to work for you, not your body's job to work for the clothes.
10-06-2009, 02:07 AM
I definitely understand the intimidation in regular stores. I went to Banana Republic with a slim friend and we were looking around separately and when the sales assistant approached me and was like "can I help you find anything specific," I'm probably being overly sensitive but I thought she was being sarcastic. I did buy a really nice cardigan there (in the largest size)... mostly to prove a point to her that I could (which in hindsight was kind of dumb as I didn't really need it).
As for the original topic:
I have to say that I'm a big fan of tailoring. I do NOT have an hour glass figure. I have big boobs and big tummy and no hips or thighs which means that I buy pants to fit my waist but because they imagine if you're chubby, you're hourglass (yeah right) but they're excessively baggy in the hip and thigh and so very unflattering. When I'm home, my mom or our next-door-neighbour takes it in for free and when I'm not, I get it done at the dry cleaners. It's definitely worth it. I do it for jackets too (they think it you have big boobs, you automatically have huge arms). I can't recommend tailoring enough. It's definitely worth the inconvenience. Especially if your shape is not the normal pattern used by clothing stores.
10-06-2009, 07:58 AM
I buy 10s now and I *still* expect people to scoff and kick me out of the regular petites section. So sad.
I don't know where you live or what your body shape is, but I'm an hourglass, and when I first downsized from plus sizes the place that worked best for me was, believe it or not, Wal-Mart. Their George brand makes decent pants that hit at just the right spot on the waist (at least for me) and didn't sag in the butt like pants often do. Also they aren't super-expensive, which is a bonus when you're going through sizes like crazy.
Of course, I hem a lot of regular length pants these days, because I only buy on clearance/second hand while I'm losing, and there aren't many petites in the clearance sales or second hand shops. But you might try Wal-Mart. Old Navy has a few styles that worked pretty well during that transition period, too.
If neither of those suggestions work for you, you might try adapting to skirts for awhile. They are much more forgiving of our weird body changes.
Good luck! And welcome to the 'regular' section. :D
10-06-2009, 08:33 AM
Thank you for the sympathy and suggestions everyone. I have adapted to many other things during this journey so I will just adapt again. I am going home for the weekend later this month, so I really want at least one pair of pants that fit decently. I think that I am going to try some more stores this weekend and, if I have to, have one pair tailored to fit. I won't do that much right now because I plan on getting smaller.
Thistoo, I am really glad to hear about the pants at Walmart and will definitely go there. It should fit the budget!
10-06-2009, 10:44 AM
I always have trouble with the length, being short. I know my inseam and always carry a tape measure with me and measure them before I try them on. I try to avoid having them altered if I can.I recently bought a jacket and had to have the sleeves shortened, cost me as much as to have them altered as the origional price of the jacket.