100 lb. Club - I feel like running and crying....




MugCanDoIt
10-05-2009, 10:45 AM
I dont know what else to do, I just really dont.

Ive lost over 100 lbs and feel I am going on a downward spiral.

Monday through Friday I do excellent:

Walking & Jogging=check
Calorie Consumption=check

Saturday & Sunday I do HORRIBLY!

Walking & Jogging=check
Calorie Consumption=check, until night time, then it all goes out the door and I binge like a freaking maniac on crack!

Seriously I just feel so horrible today. So ashamed and defeated, like all my eforts have been flushed down the drain. Guilty, and just sick of myself. Ive tried the self pep talk, Ive tried the journaling, Ive tried the "you know how you are gonna feel tomorrow" thing........its just like I am a drug addict and food is the drug. Why? Even support from people on the weekends online doesnt stop me. I have sooooo much more weight to lose and Im sabatoging myself every damn weekend. Its like a compulsion, like I have OCD or something, that causes me to binge on the weekend, negating all my perfect work I do during the week.

I have gotten great advice and support here before, and each Monday or Tuesday I am stoked and pumped up and ready to concquer the world......do perfectly until Saturday and Sunday and then, well UGH!!!!!!!!!


I just dont know what else to do except keep posting here and begging for advice, and keep on trying and not giving up. I just dont know what else to do.


nicollem
10-05-2009, 10:57 AM
Aw hun, I'm so sorry you feel like that. I understand for sure! Weekends are the hardest part for me too.
But omg 100 lbs that's amazing I'm so jealous!
This food being an addiction thing is rough! I have the same problem, I do great during the day, then 8 o'clock comes around and I want to eat everything, just weekend nights though!
The only thing I could do is make sure I didn't have any food in my kitchen to munch on that I knew I'd regret. I stocked my fridge with veggies that won't make me feel do guilty and stuff that takes PREP time!
If it takes too long to make my brain has time to stop me!
Any food that comes conveniently = bad news for me.

daisy5819
10-05-2009, 10:59 AM
There is the quote that I have taped at my office and at my mirror at home (I got it from someone here, I'm just not sure who).

Courage doesn't roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying "I will try again tomorrow".

You can't beat yourself up for failure. It happens. Just try again tomorrow and you will notice it will get easier.


JustBeckyV
10-05-2009, 11:00 AM
Maybe you could go some where and be around people during that time.

losermom
10-05-2009, 11:06 AM
Mug, I don't know what to say. But I want you to know that you are not alone. I have the same problem, except I'm not a night eater. I have good days and bad days too. (((Hugs)))

JayEll
10-05-2009, 11:10 AM
One or more thoughts happen just before you start to eat. Have you noticed what they are? Pay attention next time. It could be, "I'm hungry now." It could be, "I deserve a treat." It could be, "I've been so good and it's not fair!"

Find out what that thought(s) is, or are. Then you can work to counter those thoughts. For example, "Wait--I'm not really hungry--I ate a big dinner." Or, "I don't deserve a food treat--that's just breaking my diet! I should have a non-food treat." Or, "I've been good and I should continue to be good--fair doesn't matter."

Jay

HotWings
10-05-2009, 11:21 AM
I agree with JustBecky. You need to replace the negative habit with something else. If you have any sort of hobby, make it something you do on the weekend nights. For me, I need to go through a lot of things in this house and get it decluttered. It's too small to have all the things we have right now. So, if I feel a little weak determination-wise, I plan during the day something to do that night. Set a goal for myself that night - like, by the time I go to bed, I want to have the boxes in the downstairs closet gone through and items boxed and labeled to take to good will. Then, I do not work on it until about an hour after dinner.

A night goal can be set for just about anything that needs to be done or any hobby - you just have to pick something and make yourself start it at a certain time. This is how I broke my night eating habits. Now I rarely think about eating at night, unless I really am hungry.

Good luck to you - I know how it feels!

Lyn2007
10-05-2009, 11:29 AM
I think it could be there is an emotional reason you are afraid to lose anymore weight.

At least, that was my experience. It took me a year to figure out that I was AFRAID to get under 200 pounds. Excited about it, of course! I wanted it. But in the back of my head, it was all so unfamilar I was started to get anxiety about it. The clothing choices, the attention, the lack of excuses for *not* doing things in my life. I was afraid of things that might happen if I kept losing weight. And my shield was disappearing.

So, I could be way off here, but maybe the next time you get the compulsion, lock yourself in your room or drive to a park or somewhere there is no food and just make yourself feel the feelings. And think about why you MIGHT feel more safe and/or comfortable NOT losing more weight. Once you understand it you can work through it and move forward.

Jae165
10-05-2009, 11:32 AM
:hug:

I am sorry you are going through this. I can feel your struggle through you post.

Is there anyway to remove the "bad" food from the house?
Is it early enough to make yourself go outside for a walk or something to keep busy while it passes?
Is there anyone around "physically" that you can talk to at this time, to help you get pass it. Just until you can control it.

I hope it works out for you. Continue doing what you are doing, coming to the boards and receiving all the help it can offer. Hopefully something will snap soon. 100lbs is FABULOUS and you should be proud!

Rainbow
10-05-2009, 11:52 AM
No advice - I stay out the kitchen when I'm feeling like that. I' m a similar weight to you and lost nearly the same amount but despite that have felt like binging all weekend. It started when I was out at a dance event for my daughter's dance school - everyone was having cake and making a big thing about how good it was but I couldn't have as I knew I was havign a high calorie meal at my parents' house that evening. On Sunday my husband wouldn't shut up about food and that didn't help at all. It never really seems to get any easer to fight the urge to binge :(

Do keep trying. Do keep going. You don't lose weight by giving up, only by persisting even when you're not managed to stick to plan. 100lb is an amazing amount of weight to lose (can't wait until I'm there after 5lb more loss). You've already prooved you can lose weight.

CJZee
10-05-2009, 12:04 PM
Well ... first off ... you have done BEAUTIFULLY with your weight loss, so I sort of feel like who am I to recommend something to someone who is sooooo far ahead of me!

But ... oh well ... here's my ideas:
1. Write a list of positive affirmations specifically regarding the weekend and read them twice a day so your unconscious mind starts to believe them. Make sure they are specific and in the present tense, because that is apparently what your unconscious brain can understand. Possible example, or make up more of your own.

On Saturday, October 10, I am eating 1600 calories in 6 small meals. I am feeling full and satisfied.

Saturday evening, I am enjoying myself watching a movie and having several cups of popcorn.

I love the feeling of the fat shedding off my body.

On Saturday, my final snack is done at 9 p.m. and I have no desire to eat anything further.

2. On weekends, eat very frequently during the day so you are always full and never hungry. Eat super high volume foods.

3. Up your calorie consumption goals on weekends a little so you don't always feel like you're failing. If you have very good control on weekdays, you could maybe "save" a hundred or two calories a day and move them to the weekends so your overall consumption is the same.

4. Do ONE THING on weekends that makes you feel like you're in control -- for example, "Stop eating at 9 p.m." or whatever is a reasonable time for you. Or pick something else that is more meaningful to you. That ONE THING might get you off the downward spiral because, I'm sure you know, it's mostly mental. You will prove to yourself you've got it.

Don't know if any of these things resonates with you, but they have helped me. I'll be thinking of you this weekend! CJ

matafleur
10-05-2009, 01:32 PM
First - you've lost 102 lbs and that is AWESOME! You KNOW you can do it, because you've been doing it successfully.

Second - I tend to agree with Lyn2007. It's time to try to figure out the "why" - the reason behind these weekend binges. There's something about being overweight that feels safe to you, or like what you deserve or should be, and until you figure out what that is and start fighting it, you'll continue with this struggle.

Now, one look at my ticker will tell you that I'm not speaking from some exalted position here. This is my struggle too. Not so much that being fat feels safe, but that when I'm down I do something that I call "I hate you" eating. I buy foods that I know better than to buy, and then I eat them without pleasure because in that moment I hate myself and I need to show myself exactly how MUCH I hate myself. So it's all "I hate you a pint of ice cream," or "I hate you a bag of potato chips," or whatever. And yeah, it's exactly as scary and sick as it sounds.

better health3
10-05-2009, 01:58 PM
Can you plan activities that are out of the house on Sat. or Sun. evening? Perhaps, you could have some company over by playing games or watching a movie.

Honestly, I think it happens to most of us every once in awhile. Please keep a list of activities you can do when you feel like bingeing on your refrigerator.

Please know that we do understand, many of us have been there.

peace4me
10-05-2009, 01:58 PM
100lbs! AWESOME:) You are a true inspiration. You are doing great.

I can totally relate to the food addiction. Don't beat yourself up. Just remember you are doing great, and if you slip up it doesn't mean you are a horrible person. As long as you are doing your best then you are doing great.

I too suffer from bingefests on the weekends... My drug of choice is velveeta cheese dip with ruffles followed by chocolate pie, but I had to give that up:(

Of course I still miss it, but now I have picante sauce with a few tortilla chips, and strawberries drizzled with chocolate. If I do want to eat on the weekends I try to come up with a healthier alternative.

I'm definitely trying to stop the weekend treats, but it is hard since I've been doing it for the majority of my life...it will take time. In the mean time, I will have smaller and healthier options for those moments of weakness.

CLCSC145
10-05-2009, 02:05 PM
:hug: Mug, I remember you struggled with this early on before you found your groove and lost 100 pounds. Do you remember what you did before to stop this pattern?

You are strong enough to stop as you've shown before. I know you can do it again!

MugCanDoIt
10-05-2009, 02:13 PM
:hug: Mug, I remember you struggled with this early on before you found your groove and lost 100 pounds. Do you remember what you did before to stop this pattern?

You are strong enough to stop as you've shown before. I know you can do it again!

Yes I remember in the beginning it took me months to stop the weekend binging. Im not sure what it was that allowed me to succeed. Ive tried to remember. Heres my plan:

1.Keep reading inspiring support responses to this thread.
2.Plan out my weekend meals (which I do not do during the week) and stick to it like glue.
3.Allow myself extra calories on Sat & Sun, making my really low calorie days Mon-Fri.
4.Stay the heck out of the kitchen after supper, no matter what. Im not going back in there for nothing! Nothing!
5. Make sure I COOK a hearty meal, no more snacking and making it my meal for the night. I think that gets me into trouble by not making my stomache "full".
6. Making sure I eat 3 MEALS, not 2 meals and snack, snack, snack.
7. Make sure I enforce these things when the weekend actually arrives and dont ignore them just because the initial guilt of my binging has wore off by then.

:?::?::?::?::?::?::mad::?:

H8cake
10-05-2009, 03:12 PM
I have to have a snack at night and on the weekends too. If I don't plan for it I feel deprived. I make sure I eat a good dinner with lots of veggies to bulk it up and then I plan a snack that will fit into my calories for the day. Last night I made the weight watchers caramel apple salad, it was crunchy and sweet which is what I need in a snack. I satisfy the need to snack but fit it into my calories for the day. Sometimes I can have a low calorie ice cream like a skinny cow and that will be enough. Other times I need volume, so it's good to find things you like that give you that. Hang in there mug, you are doing great!

Glory87
10-05-2009, 03:34 PM
Whatever you are doing, whatever routine you have - it's not working. You need to change your routine for the weekends. Make your plan on Thurday, have everything ready, treat Sat-Sun like any other day. They aren't special days, they are just days.

MugCanDoIt
10-05-2009, 03:51 PM
Whatever you are doing, whatever routine you have - it's not working. You need to change your routine for the weekends. Make your plan on Thurday, have everything ready, treat Sat-Sun like any other day. They aren't special days, they are just days.

I know, I need to grasp this concept, really I do.

shcirerf
10-05-2009, 04:03 PM
I'm sure it's a combination of things.
Weekends are hard, because we look at them as downtime, fun time, relax, etc.
Like some others said, maybe you're freaking out over losing your shield and baring all, so to speak.

Anyway, I have a friend, that when she gets in those "I wanna eat the house" moods at night, she goes to bed. Doesn't matter what time it is, what's going on, she puts on her jammies and goes to bed.

She said something about the whole ritual of going to bed, shuts down the day for her. Plus she said she came to realize, a lot of the time she wasn't hungry, she really was tired and bed was what she really needed.

Alana in Canada
10-05-2009, 05:16 PM
I don't have any further advice, Mug, but I think your plan is a great start! Print it out and put it on the fridge to remind you.

:hug:

You CAN do it!

S.A.S.H
10-05-2009, 06:46 PM
Everything I wanted to say has already been said. I still wanted to give a :hug:

rockinrobin
10-05-2009, 07:30 PM
Mug I would plan out every single second of my weekend. Every single second. I'd write it out. And I don't mean only food. I'd have activities planned. Sweeping the floor, laundry, shower, breakfast, jigsaw puzzle, snack, shopping, ironing, lunch, scrub toilets, read the newspaper, do your nails, take a walk, snack, computer,clean out underwear drawer, meditation, dinner, make phone calls, listen to radio and dance, watch a movie, snack, straighten kitchen, hot cup of tea, go to sleep.

Whatever the activities are doesn't matter. WRITE IT OUT. The times and what you'll be doing. HAve every minute accounted for. Each and every one.

Mug you CAN do this. You CAN. I know you are capable of this. I am CERTAIN of it. 1000% so.

DCHound
10-05-2009, 07:32 PM
Man, every time I think of a good response ol' Robin beats me to it. :D What Robin said. Saturday and Sunday are just days, like Monday, Thursday, etc. Nuthin special. They have no power over you. YOU have power over you. Just you. No one else.

Big hugs.

Onederchic
10-05-2009, 08:39 PM
Yes I remember in the beginning it took me months to stop the weekend binging. Im not sure what it was that allowed me to succeed. Ive tried to remember. Heres my plan:

1.Keep reading inspiring support responses to this thread.
2.Plan out my weekend meals (which I do not do during the week) and stick to it like glue.
3.Allow myself extra calories on Sat & Sun, making my really low calorie days Mon-Fri.
4.Stay the heck out of the kitchen after supper, no matter what. Im not going back in there for nothing! Nothing!
5. Make sure I COOK a hearty meal, no more snacking and making it my meal for the night. I think that gets me into trouble by not making my stomache "full".
6. Making sure I eat 3 MEALS, not 2 meals and snack, snack, snack.
7. Make sure I enforce these things when the weekend actually arrives and dont ignore them just because the initial guilt of my binging has wore off by then.

:?::?::?::?::?::?::mad::?:


This is great Mug. I know you can do this. You have done so so well! Hang in there :hug:

LitChick
10-05-2009, 08:56 PM
There's a lot of great advice in here so I don't really have anything to add but I just wanted to offer you a :hug: and say thank you for posting this. I have eating control issues at night and a lot of the advice included in here will help me, too.

And congratulations on losing 100 lbs! That is a feat to be proud of. Now keep going. You can do it!

2behealthy
10-05-2009, 08:58 PM
I don't have any advice, but I just wanted you to know I am cheering for you! You can beat this. We all have to face struggles in losing weight and you can win this one. We are all here for you!

ubergirl
10-05-2009, 09:49 PM
Mug,

I have a horrible history of bingeing too... so I know how you feel!!

If you haven't already read the book THE END OF OVEREATING by David Kessler MD, you might want to check it out. It was the first thing I ever read about that out-of-control eating feeling that REALLY spoke to me.

YOU WILL CONQUER THIS!!! I admire you for having lost 100 pounds and I know you have the ability to lose as much more as you dream of.

shcirerf
10-05-2009, 10:50 PM
This may or may not matter, but here goes.

This is going to end up being long,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

My Mother has been overweight/morbidly obese all of her life. She's lost, gained, lost, gained, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah.

But I've noticed a pattern, she will be dedicated like no other until she gets around 200#'s, then she freaks out and gains it all back.

The last time this happened, she got all freaked about the fact that she could see her collar bone, and her hands looked bony, and her neck was wrinkled, and OMG!, she could actually feel her hip bones. *rolls eyes*

Her health is horrible, she's non insulin dependant diabetic, has 3 stints in her heart, bad knees, high blood pressure, vision is going to pot from the diabetes and on and on. Dad died in tragic farm accident in 1977 and even though Mom has a college education, and had plenty of life insurance money, and she was at her lowest weight ever when Dad died, it's like she's hoarding the weight as some kind of shield from having to cowgirl up.

How my sisters and I ever ended up being as independent, self sufficient, and all, I will never know.

We can drive tractors, pull baby calves, change radiators, oil, tires, swath hay, bale, cook, trim horses hooves, kick a** at barrel racing, change the starter in the truck, fix plumbing, fix the dishwasher, washing machine, dryer, and the list goes on. Mostly we learned it because we had to. But we can still sing, sew, cook, and dress up and go out and be a "girl" with the best of them.

Just my opinion, but from looking at Mom and her issues, I think it's mostly fear of having to finally come out from behind the weight.

Yeah, it's scary, but, think of all the things you can do and be, instead of all of the "can'ts"!

Have you ever mud wrestled? I have! Yeah a strange confession, but it was a hoot. Did it a long time ago, when I was younger and dumber, the local bar put it on. But it was fun.

Have you ever wrestled a reluctant hog that needed it's feet trimmed? Have you ever wrestled a baby colt and given it diahrea meds while it's 1000 pound mom was having a fit? Have you ever been out raking hay with a 5 wheel side delivery rake and lost the last 3 rake wheels? I have, hilarious. Have you ever been to a tractor pull as a participant and not a spectator, I have, have you ever driven in the powder puff demolition derby? What fun. Sore as **** the next day, but well worth it.

There are so many things waiting out there for you, you just need to make up your mind that you need to show up! It's a hoot!

Now all of you know that I am officially "NUTS" but I love every second!

cfmama
10-06-2009, 12:13 AM
wow... some great advice here. I love what shciferf said especially. Life is OUT THERE. And it's waiting for YOU. You are scared... and this behaviour is working for you or else you would be doing it...

I'm thinking of you babe and crossing fingers that you will get over this. *hugs*

Couch
10-06-2009, 12:43 AM
Yeah, binging points to some sort of emotional thing. It could just be deprivation from being so good all week, or it could be something deeper and may require some serious thought.

Behaviourally, there are lots of things you can try. The first is obvious - get the junk out of the house! Also, brush your teeth after dinner, allow yourself unlimited tea (unsweetened), keep yourself busy, keep yourself hydrated. Start to look at how you structure your weekends. For me, weekends are totally different to weekdays, because my activities are totally different. I also allow myself a higher calorie count on weekends, because I eat out often.

I would suggest sitting down on Friday and planning your food for the weekend. Maybe even allow yourself dessert, to give yourself a small weekend treat? And then stick to it. If it doesn't work, tweak and try again on Sunday. Remember, you don't need to achieve immediate perfection, it's ok for things to be difficult, it's just not ok to give up because they are.

MugCanDoIt
10-06-2009, 09:46 AM
Thanks everybody.

50andfabulous
10-06-2009, 10:09 PM
I can relate. I'm getting close to my 100 pound loss (25 to go!) and it's both exciting, humiliating (still can't wrap my head around the fact that I have over 100 pounds to lose) and exciting. And of course EVERYONE is watching. During the week there are so many things to keep us distracted. Use the weekends to indulge yourself in way that make binging harder. Get a great nail color and paint your nails. Take long, hot, scented baths. Call a friend you haven't talk to in awhile and have a long gap session. Read that book you've been wanting to read. Indulge in a nap. The more things that take time away from binging, the less impact that craving will have over time.

shcirerf
10-06-2009, 10:38 PM
Since I blathered on so much about tractors and such last night, I remembered this video of my 60 year old aunt driving her super stocker tractor, she drives them and her DH builds and repairs them. They are retired now and travel all over the country doing this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olF6qtZHx_Y

scarletmeshell
10-07-2009, 02:07 PM
You can do it!!! I have this problem myslef. I think all of this advice, and your thoughts too are all good. This may seem silly but for me when I am done eating, the kitchen is closed. I stay out of there. I have giant glass of water or tea, or whatever, or even two, ready, and that's it. I also paint my nails, over, and over, and over again. Also a treat for me if I am home, is a bath and a book. You can do it!

rockinrobin
10-10-2009, 07:27 AM
Okay young lady, dear Mug CAN do it. It's the weekend. You all planned out? Food? Activities? Got every single minute planned and accounted for? You can do this. You absolutely CAN. STICK with your plan. Stick with it. Stick with it. STICK WITH IT. Just think how thrilled you will be when it's all over and done and you've stuck with it. You'll feel like a billion bucks - only better. Let's do it. The whole day - morning, noon and NIGHT. The whold day. I'm right there with you. Every step of the way....

I'm waiting to hear from you. Keep in touch. :hug:

Lyn2007
10-10-2009, 02:14 PM
How you doing today Mug? We are here for you!